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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25307713">Sea, Sex and Sanditon (a kitchen sink drama)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Smiff/pseuds/Mermaid70'>Mermaid70 (Smiff)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Sanditon (TV 2019), Sanditon - Jane Austen</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst with a Happy Ending, Drama &amp; Romance, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/M, Falling In Love, Friendship, Love, Multi, Oral Sex, Past Abuse, Sex, Slow Burn, Slow Romance</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 12:47:43</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>55</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>136,697</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25307713</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Smiff/pseuds/Mermaid70</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>This modern AU is set in a down-at-heel seaside town on the Sussex coast near Brighton, in and around Sanditon Head, the local secondary school.<br/>Sidney Parker is a few years older than in the series and already quite improved. He just needs a good woman to help him navigate his complex, busy life. Charlotte Heywood is also a few years older and is moving to Sanditon to start her new career.<br/>Jane Austen’s original Sanditon is thought to be have been based on Worthing, now a sprawling conurbation with a pebbly beach. The TV series was filmed in the South West, a very different landscape with beautiful sandy beaches. I decided to bring the action back to Sussex and its pebbles that kill your feet when you walk on them.<br/>Being British, the characters swear a lot, drink a lot of tea and spend a lot of time in the pub. Some Jane Austen characters also make fleeting appearances.<br/>The action takes place in the present, but there is no Covid (hurrah). Most characters get a happy ending, but it does get a little dark along the way. Blame Andrew Davies.<br/>It also gets a little steamy... but mostly I hope it’s romantic and uplifting.<br/>*** NOW COMPLETE ***</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Charlotte Heywood &amp; Sidney Parker, Clara Brereton/Edward Denham, Georgiana Lambe/Otis Molyneux, Lord Babington/Esther Denham</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1288</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>776</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Sea, Sex and Sun</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Sanditon+Sisterhood">Sanditon Sisterhood</a>.</li>



    </ul></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span class="u">Part 1 – Assumptions</span>
</p><p>
  <span class="u">August-October 2019</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span class="u">Chapter 1 – Sea, Sex and Sun</span>
</p><p> </p><p>Driving down the motorway in the sunshine, Charlotte and Georgie sang along to the radio.</p><p>“What’s this song, Charlotte?” asked Georgie, at the wheel. “I don’t recognise it. Catchy tune though."</p><p>Charlotte peered at the display on the stereo. “Sea, sex and sun. By Serge… Gainsbourg? Is that how you say it?”</p><p>“It must be a sign, Charlotte!” laughed Georgie, “the new motto for your new life.”</p><p>“Sea and sun definitely. Not sure about the sex!” giggled Charlotte.</p><p>“Oh Char, I can’t believe you won’t be in London anymore. I will miss you, you know.”</p><p>“I’ll miss you too Georgie.”</p><p>“How will you cope, being in such a small town with nothing to do?”</p><p>“Oh, I’m sure there’s loads to do in Sanditon. And anyway, there’s the sea! I love swimming in the sea.”</p><p>Georgie shivered. “Rather you than me. Not on this chilly island. Give me Saint Lucia any day.”</p><p>Charlotte laughed. “Anyway, I’ll be busy with my new job. I won’t have time to get bored. How much further is it?” she asked, excitedly.</p><p>“About 20 miles I think. Not long now!”</p><p>The late August sky began to darken and as they approached the turn-off to Sanditon, a few drops of rain splattered on the windscreen. By the time they reached the outskirts of the town, the rain was pelting down and Georgie had to turn on the windscreen wipers.</p><p>“So much for the sun! What’s the address again? Can you look it up?”</p><p>“15 Trafalgar Crescent,” replied Charlotte, looking down at her phone. “Turn right at the next traffic lights and then it’s along the seafront, third road on the left.”</p><p>Georgie squinted over the steering wheel, trying to see through the rain. As they turned the corner, the sea came into view, lined by a long concrete esplanade. A few solitary figures hurried along in the rain, clutching their hoods or battling with umbrellas. A man looked up from his mobility scooter, muttering and shaking his fist at the sky.</p><p>They drove past a terrace of tall Victorian houses, with peeling stucco paint and large “VACANCIES” signs in the windows. An empty fish and chip shop, teenagers in hoodies hanging outside the “Sanditon Chicken Hut”, takeaway boxes and crisp packets blowing along the street, a large sprawling, deserted amusement arcade, its machines flashing forlornly.</p><p>Georgie looked over towards the beach, the waves crashing against huge mounds of pebbles.</p><p>“Hmm, not much sand, Char. Plenty of sea though.”</p><p>“Oh, well, it was lovely the day I came down for the interview. It was sunny then,” Charlotte sighed. “Next on the left, I think.”</p><p>The car pulled up outside 15 Trafalgar Crescent, a tall, beige-coloured building with wrought iron balconies, a little rusted from the sea air.</p><p>“Looks nice, doesn’t it?” smiled Charlotte. “It’s Flat 2. She’s expecting us.”</p><p>Georgie turned the engine off and leaned back in her seat.</p><p>“So have you met this Esther before?”</p><p>“No, only on Facetime. I couldn’t get down here as the trains were on strike, and you were in Saint Lucia with Otis, remember? She seems nice,” mused Charlotte, “bit posh though.”</p><p>“Wouldn’t you have preferred a flat on your own, especially after dossing with me for so long?”</p><p>“Yes, but I can’t really afford it on a teacher’s salary,” sighed Charlotte.</p><p>“You should have stayed in publishing.”</p><p>“Yeah, right! I just wanted a change, Georgie. I wasn’t getting anywhere in publishing, filing and copying all day long. It’s all right for you, you practically run your department. Plus I wanted to get away from James and all those memories.”</p><p>Georgie exhaled. “He still adores you, you know.”</p><p>“Well, it didn’t stop him shacking up with that Julia Beaufort almost immediately, did it? She couldn't wait to get her claws into him. Come on, let’s go in, or Esther will be wondering where we are.”</p><p>They took Charlotte’s bags out of the boot and rang the bell for Flat 2.</p><p>“Yeeeesss?” a lazy voice drawled over the intercom.</p><p>“Um... hi... it’s Charlotte Heywood. For the room.”</p><p>“Oh yes of course, come up darling.”</p><p>A tall, elegant woman opened the door. Auburn hair tied back in a ponytail and creamy skin dotted with freckles, she gave them a cat-like grin. “Come in, Charlotte, I’ve been dying to meet you. I’m Esther de Burgh.”</p><p>“Hi, Esther, this is my friend Georgie. She gave me a lift down from London.” Esther quickly took in Georgie’s tall, slender frame and tightly curled Afro hair.</p><p>“Hi Georgie, pleased to meet you. Whereabouts in London?”</p><p>“Kilburn.”</p><p>“Oh! My dad used to have a pad near there, in Maida Vale. Lovely! Do bring your bags through to the room. I’m afraid we haven’t got sea views, but it’s very handy for everything. I’ll put the kettle on,” she added breezily.</p><p>Once Charlotte’s things were installed in her new bedroom and Esther had brought them a cup of tea, Georgie and Charlotte sat on the bed, looking out at the view of a car park across the street.</p><p>“You’re right, Charlotte, she is a bit posh.” Georgie grinned.</p><p>“She seems nice. She’s studying Psychotherapy at Brighton Uni. She told me she was ‘exorcising her demons’, whatever that means,” smiled Charlotte.</p><p>“Why doesn’t she live in Brighton then? It’s only 12 miles along the coast.”</p><p>“Cost, I suppose. Brighton’s very expensive. Unlike Sanditon! Listen Georgie, you will stay the night won’t you? It’s a bit late to drive back now. We can get pizza or something.”</p><p>Georgie looked down at her phone. “Well... it’s just... Otis...” she trailed uncertainly.</p><p>“What now?” enquired Charlotte, raising an eyebrow.</p><p>“He’s been working a lot lately and he wanted to see me this weekend.” Georgie frowned.</p><p>“Working? Is that what he calls it?” laughed Charlotte.</p><p>Georgie looked up and grinned. “Don’t worry, I’ll stay tonight. He can stew for a bit.”</p><p> </p><p>Later, after a bite to eat, the girls went into the lounge where Esther was busy poring over some papers.</p><p>“Esther, we thought we’d go out for a drink, do you want to come? And it’s okay if Georgie stays tonight isn’t it? She’ll drive back in the morning.”</p><p>“Of course darlings! But I’m way too busy to go out tonight, sorry. And anyway, where can you go in Sanditon?” she laughed sarcastically.</p><p>Charlotte’s brow furrowed. “But it’s Friday night. There must be a decent pub somewhere.”</p><p>“In Brighton, maybe,” sniffed Esther. “I hardly ever go out in Sanditon. So unutterably dreary. All men with beer guts and teenagers smoking weed on street corners. The Crown’s not too bad I suppose, it’s on Waterloo Road.”</p><p>Although the rain had stopped, there was still a biting wind in the air. After wandering round the streets of Sanditon for over ten minutes and failing to find the Crown, Charlotte and Georgie stopped defeatedly outside a slightly dingy-looking pub.</p><p>“Charlotte, I’m freezing. What about this one? We can’t walk around all night. It’ll do, won’t it?”</p><p>Charlotte looked up uncertainly at the swaying sign of The King’s Head and the peeling paint on the front door. Across the street, someone had spray painted POLES GO HOME in large red letters on a wall.</p><p>“I don’t know, Georgie, maybe we should call it a night.”</p><p>“Oh come on, I’m dying for a drink, it’s been a long day.”</p><p>Impatiently, Georgie pushed open the heavy door of the King’s Head Saloon Bar.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p><em>Sea, Sex and Sun,</em> Serge Gainsbourg, 1978<br/>“Sea, sex and sun<br/>Toi petite<br/>Tu es de la dynamite…”</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. The smell of pubs</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>In which Charlotte and Georgie have some surprising encounters, some more pleasant than others...</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>Sidney splashed water on his face and grimaced at himself in the mirror. It had been an exhausting week. Those lines around the eyes were starting to get more pronounced and there were little flecks of grey at the sides of his dark brown hair. He stroked his jaw; he hadn’t shaved for two days either, and he couldn’t be arsed to make the effort, not just for a night out in Sanditon. A night out, more like a couple of pints at the Crown and a bag of chips on the seafront. But at least the company would be good, for once.</p><p>The doorbell rang and Sidney went to answer it.</p><p>“Brad! Great to see you man. I’ll just get my coat.” Bradley Babington was his oldest friend; they had been at school together.</p><p>“Yes, it’s blowing a bloody gale out there. I’d forgotten Sanditon has its own microclimate. It was sunny in London this afternoon,” Bradley called, pulling his thin jacket tightly around him.</p><p>Sidney emerged from the house in a smart black coat, his keys and phone in his hand. Suddenly, his phone buzzed and he looked down at it, sighing.</p><p>“Oh fuck, it’s Tom.”</p><p>“What’s up with your brother now?” asked Bradley, concerned.</p><p>“Needs me to pop into the pub to discuss the rent. Not again. Can you bear it?” Sidney pleaded.</p><p>“Just one pint, man. I can’t stand that place. Why on earth does he stay there?”</p><p>Sidney grimaced. “Well, beggars can’t be choosers. Sorry, Brad, it won’t take long. Beecroft’s breathing down his neck again. Then we can go to the Crown.”</p><p>Bradley chuckled. “Raw excitement!”</p><p>They walked briskly down the street towards the town.</p><p>“Anyway, how’s your mum?”</p><p>“She’s okay, getting better,” answered Bradley. “I’m taking her to Eastbourne for the day tomorrow.”</p><p>“And your love life?” Sidney enquired, giving his friend a sidelong glance.</p><p>Bradley laughed sardonically. “What love life? Every time I talk to a woman at a party and tell her what I do for a living, she seems to find something more interesting to look at just over my shoulder. Usually Crowe.”</p><p>“How many does Frank have on the go at the moment then?”</p><p>“God knows. Advantages of being a City trader. Short working days, lots of cash to splash, lots of women willing to spend it for him. What about you, Sid?”</p><p>Sidney scoffed. “Long working days, no spare cash, no way to meet women except at work, which is a no-no. What do you think?”</p><p> </p><p>Sidney and Bradley sat with their pints at the end of the bar, keeping their distance from the other customers, a motley collection of males of various ages, some bald, many covered in tattoos, several sporting impressive beer guts threatening to burst through their T-shirts. Two or three middle-aged women with brightly dyed hair and squawking laughs mingled among the crowd. A couple of the older regulars were sitting at the counter, rooted to their bar stools in a proprietorial fashion, nursing their pints like babies with a bottle. The counter was sticky with spilt beer, the carpet faded, the air reeked of stale sweat and cigarette smoke.</p><p>Behind the bar a man in his forties with slightly receding hair and a glazed look in his eyes was absent-mindedly wiping beer glasses. Next to him, a brassy-faced, buxom woman of a similar age in a tight top was pulling pints and laughing loudly with the regulars. The man looked across at her nervously and shuffled over towards Sidney and Bradley.</p><p>“Sidney!” He looked pleased. “Bradley, how’s things? What brings you back to Sanditon?”</p><p>“Hi Tom. I’m just visiting my mum for the weekend. She’s been a bit unwell but she’s recovering now,” said Bradley. “How are you Tom?”</p><p>“Oh, you know, mustn’t complain. At least I have a job,” Tom smiled thinly.</p><p>“And the kids? Do you see them often?” enquired Bradley softly.</p><p>“Oh well, yes, when Sidney brings them over. Mary doesn’t like me going over there.” Tom looked down sadly. “Sidney, can we have a word about... you know?” he asked, wringing the bar cloth, nervously glancing once more at the fearsome looking barmaid. “Brenda, I’m just popping outside for a smoke,” he called to her. She looked up and nodded tersely. Tom and Sidney went out to the front of the pub for a chat.</p><p> </p><p>“Well, that’s done, Brad. Now we can enjoy ourselves,” exhaled Sidney with relief.</p><p>“Drink up then. Let’s get the fuck out of here!” whispered Bradley.</p><p>“Sid,” he continued, “how much are you subbing him? Can you afford it? You know I could always help you out.”</p><p>“Don’t worry,” replied Sidney. “He’s just got some of the loan sharks after him again. Once you get in debt, there’s no getting out of it, it seems, it keeps building up and up. Thank god Mary and the kids have got a home with my sister. She helps him out a bit too, you know. And I’m okay for money. It’s not like Eliza needs anything from me!” he laughed bitterly. “Come on, you’re right, let’s get the fuck...</p><p>At that moment, the door to the Saloon Bar swung open and a tall, striking young woman marched confidently into the pub. A tall, striking, young black woman. She was wearing a short denim skirt and long, black, high-heeled boots and she had a beautiful crown of tightly curled black hair. Behind her, another young woman followed, looking around slightly apprehensively. The second woman was more petite, but equally striking, in figure-hugging jeans, flat pumps and a floaty, low-cut top under her jacket. She had long, curly, chestnut brown hair, olive skin and full, red lips.</p><p>“Oh shit...” muttered Bradley.</p><p>The taller woman strode up to the bar. Brenda folded her arms and looked her in the eye.</p><p>“Yes, darlin'?” she said, not smiling.</p><p>The men lining the bar shifted in their seats in slow unison and stared menacingly at the imposing young woman before them.</p><p>“Lost your way, love?” one of them snickered. “Jungle’s in the other direction.” More sniggers and mutterings heard across the bar.</p><p>Sidney nodded his head at Brad and they began to move along the bar towards the two women.</p><p>Charlotte could sense the drinkers eyeing her up and down.</p><p>“The other one’s got a lovely pair of coconuts n’all!” one of the more drunken men said rather loudly, and several of his mates erupted into laughter.</p><p>“Oi!” shouted Sidney, slamming his fist on the counter, “have some respect! Tom, are you going to serve these ladies or not?”</p><p>Charlotte and Georgie spun round in surprise. In front of them was a tall, dark-haired, smartly dressed man, looking angrily at the balding barman on the other side of the counter. Behind him was a slightly shorter, chubbier dark-haired man with a kindly face, looking acutely embarrassed.</p><p>“Sorry about this,” the tall man said to Georgie and Charlotte. “Tom will serve you.”</p><p>The barman shifted forwards and inclined his head. “What can I get you, ladies?”</p><p>Georgie, her face a mixture of rage and distress, leaned over towards Charlotte. “I’m not fucking staying here,” she whispered.</p><p>“Okay, let’s go,” replied Charlotte. “Sorry,” she said tersely to the barman, “we’ve changed our minds.” Glancing briefly at the two men standing at the bar, she spun on her heel and left the pub, Georgie following closely in her wake.</p><p>Sidney frowned at his friend. “C’mon, let’s go and talk to them.” They quickly downed the dregs of their beer and left the bar, without even saying goodbye to Tom.</p><p> </p><p>Outside, Charlotte was attempting to calm Georgie, who was fuming, her face streaked with tears.</p><p>“For fuck’s sake, it’s 2019, I can’t believe people still…”</p><p>“Hey, hey, it’s just some pissed old fart in a shit pub. I’m sorry, Georgie, I had no idea…”</p><p>There was a cough behind her. “Um… ladies, girls, I mean…”</p><p>Charlotte spun round angrily, then stopped in her tracks. It was the tall man from the pub. She looked up at him. He had gently curling dark brown hair, a strong jawline, a long, straight, isosceles triangle of a nose and the most amazing deep brown eyes. What on earth was a guy like him doing in a pub like that?</p><p>Sidney returned her gaze and for a moment he forgot where he was and what he was supposed to be doing. Her big brown eyes, framed with long black lashes, mirrored his own. Her small nose was dotted with freckles and she had full, red lips. He swiftly looked her up and down. She was beautifully curvy and her long, wavy brown hair fell to her shoulders.</p><p>“Yes? What is it?” frowned Charlotte.</p><p>Bradley intervened. “Look, sorry about that,” he stammered, laughing nervously. “Horrible pub. Wouldn’t recommend it.”</p><p>Georgie, somewhat stunned, burst into laughter. “Well, you obviously don’t mind giving them your custom.”</p><p>“Ah, yes, but that’s a long story,” replied Sidney, looking a little embarrassed, his hands in his pockets. Charlotte noticed the deep tone of his voice; it made her shiver somewhat.</p><p>“I guess you’re not local?” he continued, looking directly at Charlotte.</p><p>“No,” she said, “we’ve just driven down from London. I’m starting a new job here next week and Georgie gave me a lift.”</p><p>He was just about to ask what her new job was when Bradley interrupted.</p><p>“Well look, ladies, we’re heading off to the Crown, would you like to come? It’s a much nicer spot.”</p><p>“Yes,” smiled Sidney, “perhaps we could buy you a drink?”</p><p>There was a slight pause. Georgie spoke first.</p><p>“Thank you, but I’m not sure my boyfriend would like that. I’ve got to ring him soon.”</p><p>Charlotte glanced at her, somewhat dismayed. “Maybe we could just have one…”</p><p>“I’m sorry,” said Georgie, “but I’m tired and I really think I’ve had enough of this town already. Honestly, I haven’t heard the jungle one since I was at secondary school.”</p><p>Sidney sighed. “Sorry. All I can say is, not everyone in Sanditon is like that. Not at all.”</p><p>“Well, I think we’d better call it a night,” said Charlotte, “but thanks anyway.”</p><p>“Good luck with your new job, then um…?” asked Sidney, making a lame attempt to keep her engaged in conversation.</p><p>“Charlotte,” she replied curtly. “And you are…?”</p><p>“I’m Sidney, and this is Bradley. See you around then.”</p><p>Charlotte nodded without replying and, taking Georgie’s arm, she headed off.</p><p>Sidney stood motionless, watching their retreating backs.</p><p>Bradley puffed out his cheeks. “Well, that was… interesting. Not sure how much they appreciated your knight in shining armour routine though, Sid.”</p><p>“Oh I don’t know,” said Sidney, “Charlotte seemed quite charmed, I thought.” He grinned.</p><p>“Sid, you were a bit bloody obvious. You couldn’t take your eyes off her.”</p><p>“Hmm,” mused Sidney. “With any luck, I’ll bump into her again.”</p><p> </p><p>****************************************</p><p> </p><p>Back at Trafalgar Crescent, Esther’s eyes widened in surprise as the girls came through the door.</p><p>“You’re back early. That good was it?” She rolled her eyes. “What happened?”</p><p>Charlotte explained.</p><p>“Which pub was that? The Kings Head? Oh my God, that’s a real dive.”</p><p>“Yes, and then to top it off,” said Georgie, “these guys tried to chat us up and get us to go to the Crown with them.”</p><p>Charlotte looked across at her. “Well, they weren’t that bad, Georgie. They were quite friendly really. And they certainly didn’t have beer guts.”</p><p>Esther looked from one to the other. “Well girls, I’m sorry you’ve had such a welcome to Sanditon. Not everyone’s like that, honestly.”</p><p>Stretching up from the sofa, she smiled. “I think what you need is a drink.” She disappeared into the kitchen and came back bearing a bottle of red wine in one hand and a clutch of glasses in the other.</p><p>“Da da! Come on, let’s get pissed and you can tell me all about yourselves.”</p><p> </p><p>“So you worked together at Harper Collins in Covent Garden?”</p><p>“Yes, that’s how we met,” nodded Charlotte, “but I decided I wanted to become an English teacher so I’ve been doing a PGCE this year. And then in January I split up with my boyfriend but I couldn’t afford to rent anywhere, being a student, so I’ve basically been living in Georgie’s living room ever since.”</p><p>“And when do you start the new job? Monday?” asked Esther.</p><p>“Yes. God, I’m really nervous. What about you Esther? You’re a student aren’t you?”</p><p>“Well, a mature student. I worked in London for a while but...” she trailed off, “I had some... difficulties with my family and I had to get away so I came down here and I decided to study Psychotherapy. They do say the more messed up you are, the better you are at solving other people’s problems!” she laughed.</p><p>“Don’t you see your family then?” enquired Georgie.</p><p>“Well, my mother died when I was young and my dad married again – he’s terribly wealthy you know – but I fell out with my dad and my stepbrother and they cut me off, apart from a small annuity. This was the only place where I could afford to live.” Esther smiled sadly, emptying the last remnants of the wine into the girls’ glasses.</p><p>“My parents died when I was ten,” said Georgie. “I was sent over here from Saint Lucia to live with an aunt.”</p><p>“Gosh, that must have been a huge change for you. What about you Charlotte?” Esther asked kindly.</p><p>“Oh Charlotte has a massive family,” laughed Georgie. “Five brothers and sisters, isn’t it Char?”</p><p>“Yes,” smiled Charlotte, “but they live all over the place now. We grew up in Dorset. Mum and Dad still live there. I’m a country bumpkin really!”</p><p>Esther laughed. “Well, you don’t look like one! So, this boyfriend... that was a bit mean wasn’t it? Kicking you out like that in the middle of your course? Had you been together long?”</p><p>Charlotte took a sip of wine. “Since university. James... well... he owned the flat. I couldn’t stay there. It was in one of those Erno Goldfinger blocks in Notting Hill. He’s an architect you see. He’s a lovely guy though.”</p><p>“Wow, I’ve seen those apartment blocks, they’re fab. Why did you leave him then, if he’s so lovely?” asked Esther.</p><p>Charlotte smiled ruefully. “I don’t know, we grew apart. He basically followed me round at university for the first two years...”</p><p>“Like a lovesick puppy,” interjected Georgie.</p><p>Charlotte stuck her tongue out at her. “Don’t be mean! Eventually we got together in the final year. So when we both got jobs in London, it made sense to move in together. But his career really took off and he started earning lots of money, going out to parties, corporate dinners and stuff, and I was stuck on the lower rungs of publishing, not getting anywhere. Somehow it changed him. I got sick of all the parties with people talking about their latest property investments. I was only earning £22,000!”</p><p>“So she thought she’d make her fortune as a teacher!” laughed Georgie.</p><p>“What about you Georgie? Anyone special?” enquired Esther, smiling.</p><p>“Oh Georgie has someone special alright,” laughed Charlotte.</p><p>Georgie grinned. “Well, yeah, Otis. He’s a model and actor... in commercials and stuff. He also does... online gambling. He makes proper money from it. He’s so busy though, he doesn’t always seem to have much time for me,” she sighed.</p><p>“Men, eh?” scoffed Esther. “I gave them up a long time ago!”</p><p>“You mean...?”</p><p>“Oh no, darling, I’m not a lesbian. Let’s just say I’ve been burned a few times and I’ve sworn off the bastards. For now, anyway.”</p><p>Esther yawned and looked at her watch. “Going to have to call it a night, ladies. Busy day tomorrow. I’ve set you up a camp bed in Charlotte’s room, is that okay Georgie?”</p><p>“Great, thanks so much. Goodnight!”</p><p>“Night!”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Down in the tube station at midnight – The Jam (1978)<br/>“They smelt of pubs.<br/>And Wormwood Scrubs.<br/>And too many right wing meetings...”</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Speed of the sound of loneliness</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>In which Sidney has a surprise encounter on the beach...</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>Sidney woke up on Sunday morning feeling more than a little groggy.</p><p>On Friday night, following the encounter in the King’s Head, he and Bradley had a rather subdued couple of pints in the Crown before heading homewards. Sidney had paperwork to do on Saturday and was feeling rather drained by the afternoon, so when Bradley called to suggest a night out in Brighton, he jumped at the chance. Sidney didn’t get to see his oldest friend that often and decided a good night out on the town was just the tonic he needed before going back to work on Monday. He made a promise to himself not to drink too much as he needed to be fresh for the week ahead.</p><p>They took the train to Brighton, scoured a couple of the local bars then met up with Sidney’s younger brother, Arthur, a regular on the Brighton clubbing scene. At one o’clock in the morning, Sidney knew he had already had far too much to drink, and Bradley was beginning to look rather jaded too, but Arthur was still full of life, dancing away and talking to everybody and anybody. Sidney and Bradley decided to call it a night and hailed a taxi back to Sanditon.</p><p>“Christ, Sid, how does he do it? I mean, I know he’s a few years younger than us, but still. Is he on something?” yawned Bradley.</p><p>“No, he gave all that up a few years ago. He just has a natural zest for life,” laughed Sidney sleepily.</p><p>“Who was that guy he was dancing with tonight, is he the latest?”</p><p>“Must be,” said Sidney, “He’s called Fred I think, works for some trendy marketing company.”</p><p>“Oh well, this is me.” Bradley opened the door of the cab. “Here’s some cash for the fare. Been really great to see you Sid. I’ll try and come down again next month to see Mum. Night!”</p><p>“Night!”</p><p> </p><p>Sidney woke up the next morning with a tongue that felt like sandpaper. “Shit,” he groaned, dragging his hands through his hair, “I knew that fifth vodka was a mistake.”</p><p>Blearily clambering out of bed, dressed in only a T-shirt and boxer shorts, he went through to the kitchen and switched on the kettle. He still had the last few bits of paperwork to go through today. He fired up his laptop and starting scrambling through an untidy pile of files in the corner of the kitchen. Damn, where were those new starter files? After several minutes fruitlessly searching, he suddenly remembered where he’d left them: on top of the filing cabinet. Possibly.</p><p>After an hour or so sitting at the kitchen table gazing blankly at his laptop, he decided enough was enough. “Sod it, this can wait!” Going up to the bedroom, he stripped off his shorts and T-shirt and took his cycling gear out of the drawer. Clad in tight Lycra, he went down to the garage and got out his pride and joy, his Roubaix road bike, fastened up his helmet and hit the road.</p><p> </p><p>*****************************************</p><p> </p><p>Charlotte, meanwhile, woke up on Sunday feeling refreshed and relaxed. After saying her goodbyes to Georgie on Saturday morning, she had spent the day sorting out her room, getting her clothes ready and ironed for Monday and buying essentials from the local supermarket. The rain was still battering the seafront, but by the evening the wind had dropped and the weather promised to be finer the next day. She and Esther watched TV in the evening and had an early night.</p><p>She was woken on Sunday by the sun streaming through the curtains.</p><p>“It’s a lovely day Esther!” she beamed as she walked into the kitchen, where Esther was sipping a cup of tea. “I might go for a swim later.”</p><p>“In the sea?” Esther laughed. “Rather you than me, darling. It’s pretty cold you know, even in summer. Although some people go all year round, and they have a special Boxing Day swim every year. Nutters.”</p><p>“Oh I’m used to it,” smiled Charlotte. “We only lived a few miles from the sea when I was a child and we often used to go swimming at Lyme Regis or Charmouth.”</p><p>“Yes, but watch out for the bloody pebbles here at Sanditon!”</p><p>“Why on earth is it called Sanditon then?” puzzled Charlotte.</p><p>“Apparently in the early 19<sup>th</sup> century, when it was just a small village, some fool was trying to promote it as a seaside resort to rival Brighton. So he changed the name to lure Londoners down here, make them think it was a sandy beach! Don’t think it worked though. Anyway darling, I’m going out for a run soon. Join me if you like?”</p><p>Charlotte laughed and shook her head, admiring Esther’s willowy figure. “I’m not much of a runner, I’m sure you’d leave me for dead. I’ll stick to swimming.”</p><p> </p><p>Charlotte placed her towel and bag down on the pebbles and quickly pulled her dress over her head. The sun was peeping through the clouds but there was quite a stiff breeze in the air. Gingerly, she crept over the pebbles towards the shore. <em>Ouch!</em> A large jagged stone caught her toe. Shit, she thought. I’ll have to remember to get some beach shoes for next time. The waves lapped her feet, making them tingle. She could see that the beach shelved down deeply; there was nothing for it but to launch herself into the rising waves.</p><p>The sudden shock of the cold hit her with an electric force, making her gasp and sending a tingling feeling through her hands and feet. Her nipples and upper thighs began to burn as if someone had placed ice on them. Gradually, after a minute or two, her body adjusted to the temperature and she began to swim out. Floating on her back, she looked up at the blue sky, a few clouds scudding lazily across it, the seagulls squawking overhead. In the distance she could see the cliffs of Sanditon Head rising sharply away from the town. A few families were gathered on the beach, but there was no one else in the sea.</p><p>She turned over onto her stomach again and swam parallel to the shoreline, not wanting to go out any further without knowing the currents. A wave crashed over her head, soaking her long hair and flicking it into her face. The salt on her tongue and lips was sharp and bitter. Laying on her back once more, she looked down at her red painted toenails, poking out of the water, then back up at the sky. There really was no better feeling in the world, she thought. Well, perhaps there was, but it had been a while since she’d enjoyed <em>that</em> kind of feeling. This was a good substitute. The feeling of being immersed in the ocean, gloriously alone and fully alive.</p><p> </p><p>*******************************************</p><p> </p><p>Sidney expertly turned the corner onto Sanditon’s Esplanade. He had been cycling over the South Downs, punishing himself on the hills, cresting Ditchling Beacon then shooting back down as fast as he could without crashing into a corner. The skylarks called out as they hovered above the fields, the wheat turned to stubble, ready to be ploughed over for the autumn. Flying along, freewheeling, he felt like he was ten years old again. Without a care in the world, whizzing home from school on his bike, his bag on his back, eagerly looking forward to teatime.</p><p>His legs were hurting. A final blast up and down the seafront before heading for home and a hot shower, he thought. Then he’d finally be able to finish that bloody paperwork. Halfway along the promenade, an old couple on mobility scooters with matching ‘Beauty’ and ‘Beast’ number plates were taking up most of the path so he slowed down to let them past. He decided to rest his bike against the rusty railings for a moment and have a drink of water from his bottle. He removed his helmet and hung it over the handlebars, running his hands through his thick brown hair, slightly sweaty from the exertion.</p><p>His eye was caught by a flash of colour on the shoreline. The sea was at high tide and very little beach was left between the concrete esplanade and the water. Sidney stared as a figure suddenly emerged from the water. A woman’s figure, slim yet curvy, in a dark red swimsuit. Her long, wet, dark hair was obscuring her face as she unsteadily moved up the beach, inelegantly crunching over the pebbles. She picked up her towel and rubbed it backwards over her head, her body stretching upwards as she did so. Sidney gazed, transfixed, at the curve of her generous hips and her long, slender legs. The shiny wet swimsuit stretched tightly over her full, rounded breasts. Sidney’s breath hitched. Her nipples were standing on end, clearly visible through the thin fabric. He couldn't take his eyes off her. It had been a long time since he’d seen a woman like that at such close quarters, never mind anything else. Despite himself, he felt a stirring in his shorts. He shifted his gaze away for a moment, embarrassed, then glanced back at the woman. A pair of big brown eyes were staring right at him.</p><p><em>Shit!</em> It was the woman from the pub the other night. And she’d caught him ogling at her like…</p><p>Embarrassed, Charlotte swiftly wrapped her towel round her body and turned her back on him.</p><p>Sidney grabbed his bike, swung his leg over the saddle, not even bothering to put his helmet on, and pedalled back along the Esplanade as fast as his legs would carry him.</p><p> </p><p>********************************************************</p><p>“How was the beach, Charlotte?” asked Esther.</p><p>“Oh, yes, lovely, I had a good swim.” Charlotte’s brow furrowed.</p><p>“You don’t look that impressed. Was it cold?”</p><p>“No, yes, it was fine, I mean... yes, impressive waves.” She stammered.</p><p>“Cup of tea?”</p><p>“No thanks, I’m going to jump in the shower to warm up.”</p><p>Charlotte stood under the shower, the hot water cascading over her hair and body. The image of those dark brown eyes staring at her, etched in her memory. She had felt them boring into her, even before she had looked up and seen him. Somehow she had recognised him straightaway, even in his get-up. His rather tight get-up, it had to be said. She had only got a brief glimpse before he sped off, but his legs were tanned and muscly, his stomach flat and his shoulders broad. That wavy dark hair and that strong jaw. And those eyes!</p><p>
  <em>How long had he been staring at her? Who was this guy? Was she never to get away from him?</em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Speed of the sound of loneliness, John Prine, 1986, re-recorded by Nanci Griffith, 1993.<br/>In the TV detective series Jackson Brodie, based on the novels by Kate Atkinson, when Jackson is feeling troubled, he goes running and they used this song on the soundtrack. Sadly, John Prine died of a Covid-related illness earlier this year.</p><p>"What in the world's come over you<br/>What in heaven's name have you done<br/>You've broken the speed of the sound of lonelines<br/>You're out there running just to be on the run"</p><p>(There really is a couple in my town with Beauty and the Beast mobility scooters…!)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. I don't like Mondays</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>In which Charlotte starts her new job and we are introduced to some familiar faces...</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>Charlotte’s alarm woke her up bright and early on Monday morning. Nervous with anticipation, she showered, carefully dried her hair and slipped on a demure black suit with a plain white blouse underneath. It was probably too formal for a secondary school teacher, but she was used to dressing smartly for work in London and it was best to play it safe until she could suss out how the rest of the staff dressed. Luckily, being the start of term, Monday and Tuesday were Teacher Development days, so there would be no pupils in school, only staff, and she would hopefully have plenty of time to find her way round the school and get to know the other staff in the English department. She had already worked in an inner London comprehensive for her work placement during her PGCE, so she was quite familiar with large State schools and how they operated. She had also received a special mention for her adaptability and rapport with the pupils. But now it was time for the real thing.</p><p>Sanditon Head was a good 25-minute walk from Trafalgar Crescent, nestling under the brow of the imposing cliff to the East of the town. She decided not to walk along the promenade for fear of the wind messing her hair and the spray spattering her clothes. She arrived in good time, at 8.15, outside a large, sprawling, 1960s style complex with multiple buildings, not all in very good condition. After signing in at reception, she was shown to the staff room where a few teachers were milling around, making coffee. She was definitely over-dressed but never mind, it was important to make a good impression. A tall, thin man in grey checked trews and a grey shirt, with slicked back blond hair, gave her a rakish smile.</p><p>“New, are we? Which department?”</p><p>“English,” smiled Charlotte nervously.</p><p>“I could have guessed, you look the type,” he laughed. “You’ll be lucky to get any of these Neanderthals interested in literature! I’m Edward Denham by the way, Geography.” He shook Charlotte’s hand vigorously, holding it for slightly longer than necessary.</p><p>“Pleased to meet you,” said Charlotte, although she wasn’t really sure if she was. The name Denham rang a bell somewhere. “Umm, have you seen Mrs Griffiths? I’m to report to her.”</p><p>“Liz? You’ll be lucky to see her before nine o’clock,” he smirked.</p><p>“Well, I’ll just sit here and wait then,” replied Charlotte, slightly nonplussed. Edward gave her a louche grin and sloped off towards the kitchen area.</p><p>At ten to nine, a middle-aged woman hurried into the staff room, her frizzy auburn hair fanning out behind her, somewhat breathless and flustered.</p><p>“Oh, Charlotte my dear, we met at the interview didn’t we, so sorry I’m late, bit of a problem with the cats this morning, and then the car wouldn’t start. Give me a minute to grab a cup of tea and then we’ll go to my classroom to have a chat.”</p><p>“Mrs Griffiths!” a stentorious voice boomed, “my dear Liz, did you have a good summer?”</p><p>Charlotte turned round to see a portly middle-aged man with grey wispy hair and glasses, smiling beatifically at the Head of English.</p><p>“Oh yes, lovely, thank you Robert. Bit busy now. Um... this is Charlotte Heywood, she’s joining my department. Charlotte, this is Robert Hankins, he teaches PLE.”</p><p>“Hello, Mr Hankins,” said Charlotte, standing back slightly as she caught a whiff of his coffee breath. “Um... what’s PLE?”</p><p>“Philosophy and Ethics, my dear,” intoned Mr Hankins, his sweaty hand grasping hers, as his eyes swooped briefly over her chest, “Religious Education but without too much God in it!” he chuckled.</p><p>“Well come along, Charlotte,” said Mrs Griffiths, “let’s get down to work.”</p><p> </p><p>By the end of the morning, Charlotte’s head was hurting with all the new information, new people, timetables, corridors to get lost in and teachers to meet. What on earth would it be like when all the pupils were in school too? Courage, Charlotte, she thought, you’ve done it before. Despite her air of disorganised chaos, Mrs Griffiths was in fact a very competent English scholar, clearly with a great deal of knowledge and a great love of poetry. She was also very friendly, although easily distracted.</p><p>“Well my dear, it’s 12.30, lunchtime, I’m sure you’ll be pleased to hear.” Mrs Griffiths looked down at her planner. “Oh my goodness, Charlotte, I nearly forgot, you’re to see Mr Parker before lunch. All the new staff have to meet him for a pep talk.”</p><p>Charlotte frowned. “But I thought the head was Mrs Denham.”</p><p>“Oh my dear, you’ll be lucky to meet her! Very hands-off. No, she’s really only concerned with the money side of things. Heaven knows she has enough worries on that score. She leaves all the day to day stuff to the SLT.”</p><p>“SLT?” asked Charlotte. So many acronyms, it seemed.</p><p>“Senior Leadership Team. Mr Parker’s one of them. He’s not actually the Deputy Head, but he might as well be. Between you and me, he practically runs the school. Promoted early, very dynamic type. Mrs Denham’s a bit long in the tooth really, can’t keep up with all the modern teaching methods.”</p><p>“I’d better go then,” said Charlotte. Where’s his office?”</p><p>“I’ll take you along dear, and introduce you.”</p><p> </p><p>Mr Parker was standing behind his desk, jacket on the chair, impatiently checking his notes. “So, Mrs Bennet, you’re Chemistry, welcome; Mr Dashwood, Maths, I teach Maths too when I can; Miss Price, PE, great, I help out with football sometimes. There’s supposed to be a new English teacher, has anyone seen her?”</p><p>The other teachers shook their heads.</p><p>“Well, this is not good, she’s an NQT. Probably...” The door opened. “Ah, Mrs Griffiths, there you are. Where’s your charge?”</p><p>“Oh, I’m so sorry Mr Parker, we were so busy talking about everything I quite forgot.”</p><p>“You forgot.” Unsmiling, he put his hands on his hips.</p><p>“Here she is Mr Parker, this is Charlotte Heywood.”</p><p>A slim young woman moved forward nervously. A slim young woman with brown wavy hair and large brown eyes, staring into his with immense surprise. She gasped, almost inaudibly.</p><p>Sidney swallowed. His jaw clenched briefly and, hardly missing a beat, he held out his hand, looking straight into her eyes.</p><p>“Miss... sorry, I didn’t catch your name.”</p><p>Charlotte’s eyes narrowed. “Heywood.” They shook hands for the briefest of seconds.</p><p>“Ah yes, Miss Heywood, we’ve been expecting you, please sit down. I’m just going through the essentials for our new starters. I gather this is your first teaching job? Thank you, Mrs Griffiths.”</p><p>Charlotte nodded mutely and sat on one of the hard chairs set out in Mr Parker’s office, next to the other three teachers. They all seemed older than her. Mr Parker proceeded to go through some admin and tell them about the school, its ethos and values and the kind of students that attended. She had to admit, he was efficient and personable. The other teachers clearly knew the ropes better than her and asked lots of pertinent questions. Charlotte, however, was finding it difficult to concentrate. The man from the King’s Head, the man who had stared at her in her swimming costume on the beach only the day before, the man with the strong jawline and dark eyes and now, as she could hear, a deep timbre in his voice, was her boss.</p><p>“Miss Heywood, did you have any questions?” For the first time, he looked directly at her.</p><p>Charlotte thought rapidly. “Um... well, I was wondering, what’s the ethnic make-up of the school? How are race relations here? I’ve only taught in London before and of course, it’s very different here I imagine.”</p><p><em>Shit</em>, she thought. <em>Not sure that was the right question to ask.</em></p><p>Mr Parker gave her the briefest of smiles. “If you’ve read our Ofsted report, Miss Heywood, you will know that our pupils principally come from white British backgrounds. We have a small ethnic population, mostly from the Indian subcontinent, and a growing contingent of children whose first language is not English, mostly from Poland. However, most of the deprivation in our school community is among the children whose families have lived in Sanditon for generations. Unemployment is quite high here and while there may be isolated incidents in the town, we pride ourselves on strict discipline and good race relations. We have a zero tolerance bullying policy. Does that answer your question?”</p><p><em>Boy, he was smooth.</em> Charlotte nodded, “Yes, thank you.”</p><p>“Well, I’m sure you’re all eager to get some lunch. Thank you everyone and as I said, my office door is always open. I wish you the best of luck this first week. Err... Miss Heywood, would you mind staying a moment? I need to go through some additional matters with you.”</p><p> </p><p>Charlotte stayed rooted to her chair, looking down at her feet as the other teachers left.</p><p>Mr Parker was rifling through some files on his desk. He pulled out a sheet of paper and glanced at it, sitting back in his chair as he did so. His jaw twitched somewhat nervously.</p><p>“So Miss Heywood, this is your first job? You’ve just finished university?” He looked up.</p><p><em>What? </em> thought Charlotte. <em>He hasn’t even read my CV!</em></p><p>“Um no, that’s not quite right, Mr Parker. I worked as a Publishing Assistant at Harper Collins in London for three years before leaving to do my PGCE at Goldsmiths. I’m 26.” She gave him a brief smile.</p><p>Sidney coughed, looking disconcerted. “Ah yes, sorry, must have missed that bit. Well, I would never have said you were 26.” He flashed what he hoped was a charming smile.</p><p>Charlotte gave him a withering look. “Well I am.”</p><p>Sidney was beginning to wish he had actually spent time on Sunday looking for the new starter files rather than crashing on his bed after the bike ride and dreaming strange dreams about sea sirens in red swimsuits.</p><p>“Well, that’s good, I’m glad you’ve had some experience of the world of work. What made you leave London and come to Sanditon?”</p><p>“The job.” A pause. “And the fact that I can’t afford to live in London on a new teacher’s salary.”</p><p>
  <em>I’m not telling you my bloody life story.</em>
</p><p>“Right. And do you like Sanditon so far?”</p><p>“Well, I haven’t seen much of it, but yes, some of it. I only arrived on Friday night,” she said pointedly.</p><p>Sidney coloured. “Well I’m sure you’ll find the town has many different... sides to it,” he faltered. “Now, let’s get down to business.” He shuffled the papers on his desk. “As this is your first job, your first <em>teaching</em> job I mean, I have been assigned as your mentor for this year. So basically that means I’ll be observing some of your classes and helping you with any issues. We’ll have a weekly chat to discuss any problems...”</p><p>“So you’re an English teacher?” Charlotte interrupted, perplexed.</p><p>“Well no, I teach Maths actually. But, as a member of the Senior Leadership team...”</p><p>Christ, she was going to interrupt him again. He cut her off with a wave of his hand.</p><p>“Look, Mrs Griffiths is the person to go to for all departmental matters, anything academic. I don’t know much about English Literature, you’re right. Although obviously, I can read a book. But, well, Mrs Griffiths, as lovely as she is, is not quite so hot on discipline and this can be a challenging school. As you may have already seen, parts of Sanditon are quite deprived and we have our work cut out with some of the pupils. Especially the boys...”</p><p>He smiled. He could well imagine what some of the boys would make of Miss Heywood. Although she certainly seemed to have the ability to stand her ground.</p><p>“So I’m the person you’ll come to for any discipline problems or advice on any other matters that aren’t subject-related. Shall we schedule our first meeting for this Friday once you’ve got a few days of lessons under your belt?”</p><p>He looked at his diary on the computer screen.</p><p>Charlotte squirmed in her chair. “Very well, Mr Parker. Friday is fine. What time?”</p><p>“After school? 3.30?” She nodded.</p><p>“Thank you Miss Heywood.”</p><p>Charlotte rose from her chair, slightly shellshocked. “Thank you. Goodbye.”</p><p> </p><p>As she headed towards the door, Mr Parker stopped her in her tracks.</p><p>“Err, Miss Heywood, just a minute.” She turned round. He had moved away from his desk and was standing a few feet away from her, his hands in the pockets of his smart, dark grey suit trousers. The sleeves of his white shirt were rolled up and she could see the soft, dark hairs on his forearms.</p><p>“Listen, um... obviously we recognise each other. From Friday night, at the King’s Head I mean. Look, I wouldn’t want you to... make any assumptions about me...” he trailed off, his dark eyes searching her own.</p><p>“I’m not making any assumptions, Mr Parker.” She smiled sweetly.</p><p>“The thing is, well it’s my brother Tom’s pub, at least it was, he just works behind the bar now...”</p><p>Charlotte’s eyes widened. That shuffling, balding man behind the bar was this guy’s brother?</p><p>“He’s fallen on hard times and I had to go there to see him and discuss some matters. Bradley and I were only staying for one drink. We really <em>were </em>going to the Crown. Not all the pubs in Sanditon are like that one, I promise you. You just um... picked the wrong spot. I’m sorry.”</p><p>“Yes,” replied Charlotte. “Quite obviously. My friend was upset. But… thank you.” She blushed.</p><p>Sidney’s gaze lingered on her face. She really was very pretty. Today, she was dressed more demurely than on the other occasions he had seen her, but her long hair was loose, softly framing her face.</p><p>“Well, I’ll see you Friday, if not before, Miss Heywood.”</p><p>Charlotte turned to go then thought better of it. <em>No, you’re not going to get away with it, Mr Parker</em>, she thought.</p><p>“Excuse me...” She put her head on one side. “Um, that <em>was</em> you on the seafront yesterday wasn’t it? On your bike.”</p><p>Sidney reddened a little and looked down sheepishly at his shoes, then focused his gaze somewhere near the top of her head. “Yes, that was me. I was just stopping for a drink of water. I didn’t know you were there.”</p><p>“Then why didn’t you acknowledge me at least?”</p><p>Sidney took his hands out of his pockets and spread his arms out, expressing his innocence, tilting his head to one side. “What could I have said? I didn’t recognise you at first. I didn’t want you to be embarrassed.”</p><p>Charlotte’s mouth twitched. “I rather think you’re the one who should have been embarrassed, Mr Parker.”</p><p>She turned on her heel and walked out of the door, leaving Sidney standing with his mouth open.</p><p> </p><p>Charlotte ran to the staff toilets and locked herself inside one of the cubicles. She got her phone out of her jacket pocket and began to punch in Georgie’s number, then thought better of it. Someone might hear. Better to WhatsApp.</p><p>
  <em>- Georgie, help! You’ll never guess.</em>
</p><p>She waited impatiently. Georgie was usually pretty glued to her phone, awaiting messages from Otis.</p><p>
  <em>- Charlotte! What is it?!</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- You remember the guys from the pub on Friday night? The tall dark one?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Yeah, the one that couldn’t take his eyes off you…</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- He’s my boss!</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- No way! He’s head of English??</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- No, he’s a senior leader. He’s going to mentor me and I have to have weekly meetings with him!!!</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Bloody hell. Did he recognise you??</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Of course.</em>
</p><p>Charlotte hadn’t told anyone about the encounter on the beach and she didn’t intend to. She still wasn’t quite sure what to think about it.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>- So what did he say?? Tell me!</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Well, I think he was a bit embarrassed. They only went there to see his brother.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- You fancy him don’t you??</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- I do not! He must be at least 35, probably married. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>- And? </em>
</p><p>
  <em>- I DON’T FANCY HIM. I was just shocked. I guess it’s a small town. Anyway, how are things? Did you see Otis?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Yeah. Oh Char, I get so annoyed with him sometimes, but when I’m with him, I just melt.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Melting sounds good. I’d better go or I’ll miss lunch!</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Bye. Don’t let that guy give you any hassle.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- I won’t, don’t worry. Bye!</em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>NQT = Newly Qualified Teacher<br/>PGCE = Postgraduate Certificate in Education<br/>Ofsted = the government schools inspection body</p><p>I don’t like Mondays – The Boomtown Rats (1979) - I remember this being number 1 in the charts...<br/>“The silicon chip inside her head gets switched to overload...”</p><p>By the way, any song titles or films or books are things I was thinking about, or listening to, when I was writing. Most of the songs are quite old I guess. I think I'd like to be 26 again - I would have liked to be an English teacher - especially if Sidney Parker was my boss!<br/>I'm not a teacher by the way, but I know a lot of teachers. :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. We don't need no education</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>In which Charlotte and Sidney improve their acquaintance...</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>Charlotte’s first week at Sanditon Head went much better than she had expected. Although she woke up on Wednesday, her first full teaching day, with a severe case of butterflies, she was well prepared and her classes went quite smoothly. As a newly qualified teacher, she was mainly teaching Year 7, 8 and 9. While the younger children were mostly well behaved and eager to learn, the Year 9s were a little more challenging, but she had agreed with Mrs Griffiths to start with the more interesting areas of the syllabus, such as the dark, shocking and surprisingly relevant play <em>An Inspector Calls</em> by J.B. Priestley. They seemed to be enjoying it and responding to her well. She fell into bed each night exhausted but happy.</p><p>She hardly saw Mr Parker around the school that first week or, if she did, he was striding purposefully along the corridors, talking to three different people at once, calling out to students along the way, and never seemed to notice her as she scurried past. Soon it was Friday, the bell rang for the end of school and the students poured noisily out of the gates. It was time for their weekly monitoring meeting.</p><p> </p><p>She made sure she arrived promptly this time and knocked hesitantly on the door.</p><p>“Ah, Miss Heywood. Come in and sit down.” He was all smiles today. It was early September and the weather was still quite warm, so his shirt sleeves were rolled up, revealing his tanned, muscly forearms. He had loosened his tie and undone the top button of his shirt and she could just see a little tuft of dark hairs poking up out of the collar.</p><p>“So, Miss Heywood, what would you say have been the positive and negative points of your classes this week?”</p><p>“Well, I....”</p><p>Their meeting was very productive, Charlotte felt, and he remained friendly and professional throughout, not once giving any hint of the strange circumstances under which they had first met.</p><p>“Now, let’s look at your timetable for next week. Ah, I see you have Year 10 on Monday. Have you taught Year 10 before?”</p><p>“Yes, in my placement, I had one Year 10 class. They were pretty good, as I recall.”</p><p>Sidney frowned. “This seems to be... a lower streamed class I’m afraid. You might have one or two troublemakers in there. Don’t want to put you off or anything, but just be on your guard.”</p><p>Charlotte nodded. “Of course. It’ll be fine, I’m sure.” <em>Would it?</em></p><p>“Well, just make sure you’re really well prepared. That’s it, I think.” He leaned back in his chair, putting his hands behind his head with one foot resting on the other knee. That, thought Charlotte, is a very disconcerting pose. She could see exactly how flat his abs were and how his trousers fitted neatly round his slim waist.</p><p>“Doing anything exciting this weekend?” he asked nonchalantly.</p><p>“I haven’t really thought about it,” replied Charlotte truthfully. “I still have so much to do in the flat and my lessons to prepare for next week.”</p><p>“So... you’re in a flat are you? Near the seafront?” he smiled.</p><p>“Yes. I’m um... sharing with a woman called Esther. She’s a student at Brighton Uni, about my age. Well it’s her flat really, I just rent a room.”</p><p>“So you knew her before?” enquired Mr Parker, still attempting to sound as nonchalant as possible.</p><p>“No, not at all, I didn’t know a soul in Sanditon. I didn’t even see the flat before last week! But she’s very nice.”</p><p>“Well perhaps she can show you the sights then, which err.... pubs to go to and which to avoid,” he grinned.</p><p>Charlotte shook her head. She had never heard Esther mention any friends or social activities. “She hardly ever goes out in the evening actually, she’s always studying.”</p><p>“Well, Miss Heywood, have a good weekend all the same.” He suddenly rose up from his chair and held out his hand to her. Charlotte quickly stood up and brought her hand forward to meet his. His touch was warm and firm and sent a tingle up her arm. She flushed slightly.</p><p>“You can call me Sidney, by the way,” he said softly. “You don’t have to call me Mr Parker all the time you know, only when students are about.” He smiled properly now, showing a set of nearly perfect white teeth, bringing his dark eyes up to meet hers.</p><p>She smiled back. “Okay, Sidney. Bye.”</p><p>“Bye, Charlotte.”</p><p> </p><p>Sidney sighed and waited for his computer to shut down, tidying some of the stray papers strewn across his desk. That went well, he thought. She hadn’t bitten his head off or given him that withering glare and, more to the point, she seemed like a very conscientious, competent teacher. Maybe he had under-estimated her. Well, he’d find out for sure once he observed her teaching. However much you studied or prepared for lessons, some teachers just had the knack of creating the right balance of rapport and discipline with the students, engaging their interest while keeping them in order, while some teachers never got it quite right. It almost seemed to be an innate skill. He wondered if she had it. The thought of spending a whole hour sitting at the back of the class observing Miss Heywood in action made him feel apprehensive and excited in equal measure.</p><p>He’d even managed to find out a tiny bit about her, compared to the sparse information she’d given him on Monday. Well played Sidney, he thought. The fact she had no plans for the weekend and was renting a room from a stranger seemed to indicate she was single. <em>God Sidney, what are you thinking, stop it man.</em> He smiled and shook his head at himself. He knew he would never do anything about the fairly obvious physical attraction he had for her, he was certainly too professional to do anything that might compromise his job, but he couldn’t help being curious about her. She was quite unlike any woman he’d ever met.</p><p>His hands in his pockets, he walked over to the window of his office and gazed out to the front of the school and the staff car park. Almost on cue, he saw Charlotte’s curly brown head of hair emerge from the main doors. She was walking along with another teacher, a tall blond man. Edward Denham. They seemed to be smiling and joking. Sidney gritted his teeth. He got on well with most of the staff in the school, even joining them at the pub on the occasional Friday night, but Edward was one person he just couldn’t stand.</p><p>Edward was already working at the school when Sidney had joined as a Maths teacher four years ago, and he’d been surprised to find out that Mrs Denham, the head, or Chief Executive as she liked to style herself, was in fact his aunt. At least, his aunt by marriage. That struck him as unusual. Picking up titbits of gossip from contacts in the local area, he found out that Edward had previously taught at a large school in Brighton but had left under something of a cloud. Rumour had it that he had had affairs with more than one female staff member, and possibly even one of the sixth form students. This latter claim could never be substantiated, however, as the girl in question left the school shortly afterwards and she was, after all, over the age of consent. If anything had been proven against Edward, that would have been the end of his teaching career. As it was, he somehow managed to secure a job at Sanditon Head, although no one was quite sure how, and he certainly didn’t come across as a particularly hard-working or competent teacher. Yet he was witty, passably handsome, charming and the female staff seemed to like him, God knows why.</p><p>All this despite the fact that he was in fact married with two young children, although he rarely talked about them and seemed to have permanently left his wedding ring at home. Sidney had only met his wife once, a small, mousy woman with not much to say for herself, who very rarely attended any of the school’s social events. He’d heard that her father was a millionaire businessman.</p><p>Sidney suddenly remembered that he had to go and see Mrs Denham to discuss the agenda for next week’s Governors’ meeting. Hopefully it wouldn’t take long. Still looking out the window, he was relieved to see that Charlotte was waving goodbye to Edward and walking towards the school gates, and Edward was climbing into his BMW. That was another conundrum. How on earth could he afford a BMW on a teacher’s salary? Sidney himself only had a Vauxhall Astra, but most days he preferred to cycle to school, unless it was raining. It was only a 20-minute ride from his small, semi-detached three-bedroom house on the outskirts of Sanditon. He sighed. Quick chat with Mrs D, then whizz home on his bike, get changed, then straight out in his car again to pick up Tom and Mary’s kids for the weekend. No rest for the wicked.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Another Brick in the Wall – Pink Floyd (1979) - I remember this being number 1 too!<br/>“We don't need no education<br/>We don't need no thought control<br/>No dark sarcasm in the classroom<br/>Hey, teachers, leave them kids alone!”</p><p> </p><p>Quick glossary if you’re not from the UK:<br/>Year 7 – 13: secondary school, ages 11-18<br/>GCSE = General Certificate of Secondary Education (exams at the end of Year 11)<br/>A levels = exams at the end of Year 13 (just to confuse matters, Year 12 and 13 are also known as "Sixth Form").</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Music and Mood Swings</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Thank you to everyone for your lovely comments, I really appreciate it! I've never done anything like this before, in fact I haven't written anything creative for years, and I wrote this to amuse myself during lockdown. So if you enjoy reading it too, that's great!</p><p>In which Charlotte and Sidney struggle to come to terms with their feelings... these two chapters get a little angsty, but don't worry, it won't be angsty forever...</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>Monday morning came round again and Charlotte was ready for her encounter with Year 10. They were starting with an English comprehension lesson and she was well prepared. The students rolled lazily into the classroom as she waited patiently by the door, mentally checking them out. These 14 and 15 year olds were on the cusp of adulthood and clearly many of them resented being shoehorned into school uniform every morning and pushed through the system, like sausages in a machine, studying things they probably thought would be no use to them once they’d left. Many of the boys, and some of the girls, were a lot taller than Charlotte; some of the boys were sprouting hairs on their chins and had deep voices, yet they were play-fighting and joking with each other, like little boys trapped in men’s bodies. Many of them looked bleary-eyed, probably from spending the weekend glued to their PlayStations. The girls had their skirts rolled up almost indecently high, a few had dyed hair and multiple ear piercings; many of them had thick, painted-on eyebrows, giving them a permanently surprised look. The girls kept their distance from most of the boys, considering them far beneath their attention.</p><p>Charlotte quickly went through the register. One name did not answer, Joe Braithwaite.</p><p>“Anybody know where Joe is?” she asked, frowning. No replies, shuffled feet and shrugged shoulders. “Well, let’s start. Could you please open your booklets at page 25, we’re going to read this passage and then...”</p><p>Suddenly the door burst open. “There he is, Miss!” shouted a boy.</p><p>A tall, skinny boy with dark tousled hair burst in through the door, grinning at his classmates as they cheered him noisily. He walked towards the back of the class and slouched down at a desk, not even looking at Charlotte.</p><p>“Joe Braithwaite?” asked Charlotte, approaching him.</p><p>“Yeah,” he replied.</p><p>“I’m Miss Heywood. Are you going to tell me why you’re late?”</p><p>He shrugged. “Just late, Miss.”</p><p>“No reason?”</p><p>“Nah.” He took his phone out of his pocket and began scrolling down the screen, not looking at her.</p><p>“Joe! Please put your phone away or I will confiscate it.”</p><p>Joe looked up, staring insolently at her and very, very slowly replaced the phone in his pocket, leaning back in his chair, still staring at her but not saying anything.</p><p>Feeling a little unnerved but trying not to show it, Charlotte continued with the class. The dynamic seemed to have changed the minute Joe walked in the room. The class grew restless and she struggled to keep their attention. She grew a little flustered and started snapping at the students when they talked amongst themselves or didn’t pay attention. When they split into groups to discuss the text, Joe continued slouching back in his chair and she could tell he hadn’t written anything on the worksheet she’d given out. She was relieved when the bell rang and they all filed out, without giving her a second glance.</p><p> </p><p>The rest of her lessons that week were better but she was beginning to feel tired and crampy, a sign that her period was on its way. On Thursday morning she woke up slightly late and, rushing to get dressed, realised she didn’t have a clean, ironed blouse for the day. In a panic, she grabbed a turquoise T-shirt from the drawer and slipped it on over her regulation black skirt, popping her black jacket on top.</p><p>She had Year 10 again just before lunch, possibly the worst-timed class of the day. The pupils were jaded from three straight hours of classes and just wanted to get outside. Again, Joe was late and when she asked him why, he just smirked. Today he was a bit livelier and kept making comments to the girls at the back of the class, who retorted noisily. More than once, Charlotte had to intervene and give them warnings. She hadn’t heard any bad language, but they were treading a bit close to the wire. Beginning to get flustered and hot, she took off her jacket. Her T-shirt felt uncomfortably tight and her armpits were sweating. The class was getting unruly; she needed to calm down and take control.</p><p>Suddenly, the boys at the back of the class started shoving each other and shouting. Charlotte stepped forward to intervene. Just at that moment, Mr Ferrars, the Deputy Head, passed by the classroom and peered at the commotion through the glass panel of the door. He pushed open the door and stepped inside.</p><p>“Miss Heywood? Everything alright? Bit noisy in here.”</p><p>The class immediately fell silent.</p><p>“Oh yes, Mr Ferrars, everything’s... fine.” She stammered. “We were just... having a discussion.”</p><p>He frowned. “Very well. Just keep it a bit quieter in future please, I could hear you from the end of the corridor.” He departed.</p><p>Fortunately the students were calmer after his intervention and Charlotte was relieved when the bell rang. They filed out of the door. Charlotte was standing by her desk and looked up as Joe passed. He looked pointedly at her chest and smirked.</p><p>“Nice tits, Miss,” he muttered.</p><p>Charlotte was stunned. For a moment she was speechless, then she quickly collected herself. “<em>What</em> did you say?”</p><p>“I said nice lunch Miss,” he laughed loudly and ran out of the door.</p><p> </p><p>Charlotte grabbed onto the edge of her desk to steady herself. <em>Did he really say that? What on earth was she going to do? How was she going to cope with this class?</em> Mr Ferrars had clearly seen that she had lost control. Tears sprang to her eyes. She quickly gathered up her files and left the room, walking fast down the corridor, thinking furiously. She hardly even looked where she was going and before she knew it, she was in a part of the school that was less familiar to her. The Music Department. She was looking round to see which direction she should take, when she heard beautiful piano playing coming from one of the practice rooms. She recognised that tune.</p><p>The door was open and she peered round the corner. A young woman with long blonde hair tied up in a ponytail sat at the piano. She looked up and stopped playing.</p><p>“Oh I’m sorry, don’t stop. I was just passing and I recognised that piece. Moonlight Sonata, isn’t it?”</p><p>“Yes,” said the woman. “Who are you? I’ve not seen you before.”</p><p>“Charlotte Heywood. I’m the new English teacher. I guess you’re a member of the Music Department.”</p><p>The woman laughed. “I <em>am</em> the Music Department! I’m Clara. Clara Brereton.”</p><p>“Nice to meet you,” said Charlotte. “You mean you’re the only Music teacher?”</p><p>“Yes. To be honest we’re lucky we even have a Music department. It’s not considered a very important subject these days, so it’s usually one of the first to be cut. Do you play then?”</p><p>“Oh no. I tried to learn at school but I wasn’t very good. My mum does though, and she sometimes plays that piece. Can you play the fast movement? She says it’s impossible.”</p><p>Clara smiled and immediately launched into a very fast, fiendishly difficult piece. After a few minutes she stopped playing and smiled again. “That one?”</p><p>“That was amazing! What on earth are you doing teaching here? You should be playing in a concert hall or something! Do you play any other instruments?”</p><p>Clara put her head on one side. “Cello. And a bit of guitar. I went to music college but it’s a very competitive world out there. Even people in the top orchestras don’t get paid that much. Most of my friends who became freelance musicians are living hand to mouth.”</p><p>“And yet pop stars get paid millions!” exclaimed Charlotte.</p><p>“Yes, well, it’s not always the most talented people who earn the most,” sighed Clara. “The kids here all want to be pop stars, but the most of them can’t afford instrumental lessons, it’s all private tuition these days.”</p><p>“Yes. I used to work in publishing before I trained as a teacher and it’s really hard to get your foot in the door and earn any kind of decent salary. My friend Georgie was lucky, she was in the right place at the right time and well, she’s more confident than me. You have to push yourself forward.”</p><p>“I struggle from lack of confidence too,” said Clara, “I... had some... bad experiences at music college and it put me off trying to make it as a performer. Anyway Charlotte, do you do Drama at all?”</p><p>“Oh yes, my degree at Bristol was Joint Honours in English and Drama. I prefer the production side to acting though.”</p><p>“Great, then we’ll probably be working on the school production together after Christmas. They always do a musical. Mrs Griffiths is bound to get you involved, she finds all the rehearsals too tiring.”</p><p>Charlotte smiled. “Look forward to it. I’m going to get some lunch in the canteen, you coming?”</p><p> </p><p>Having lunch and chatting with Clara cheered Charlotte up and she almost forgot about the unpleasant incident with Year 10 and Joe’s parting words to her. Perhaps she should just pretend it didn’t happen and make a concerted effort to instil some discipline next time. The last lesson of the day was Year 7 and it was fun; most of the 11 year olds still retained their childlike enthusiasm. She returned to the staffroom at the end of the day, humming to herself happily.</p><p>She was gathering up some books when the door opened abruptly and Sidney Parker appeared, looking around the room, frowning. Spotting her, he quickly strode towards her.</p><p>“Ah, Charlotte.” He seemed to be in a hurry. “I need to have a word with you. Can you come to my office please? In five minutes?”</p><p>“Yes of course,” Charlotte nodded. There was a sinking feeling in her stomach. It was Thursday, not the day for their usual meeting.</p><p> </p><p>When she entered his office, instead of sitting behind his desk as usual, he was standing, looking out of the window and began to pace up and down impatiently, his hands on his hips. He did not invite her to sit down.</p><p>“Charlotte, I received a complaint today from Mr Ferrars, the Deputy Head. He informed me that there was so much noise coming from your Year 10 class, he could hear it a mile off and when he came to investigate, some of the pupils were away from their desks and causing havoc. Why didn’t you come and tell me about this at lunchtime? I thought we agreed that you would come to me with any discipline problems.” He looked down at her sternly.</p><p>Charlotte swallowed. “I’m sorry, Mr Parker, I thought about talking to you, but I decided against it. They have been a little difficult, but I think I have it under control.”</p><p>“Well you clearly don’t.”</p><p>Charlotte’s colour rose. “It was only my second class with them today. I just need a bit of time to... get the measure of them and work out the best way to… approach their needs.”</p><p>Sidney shook his head. “Are you really that naive? You have to be on top of things straightaway. If you let them get the better of you early on, you’ll never get them back, you’ll spend the whole year exercising crowd control. Perhaps we should consider giving them to Mr Howard instead and allocating you a slightly easier class.”</p><p>“No!” said Charlotte. “Please don't do that. Give me the chance to make things right. I don’t want to give up at the first hurdle.” She paused. “I’m sorry, I should have discussed it with you. They were difficult on Monday and then today just got worse. The thing is...”</p><p>“What?” he asked, slightly softer now. She noticed he was unshaven, with slight bags under his eyes.</p><p>“Well, there’s this one boy. He pays no attention to what I say, never does the work and seems to enjoy winding up the other students.”</p><p>“Let me guess,” smiled Sidney, “Joe Braithwaite.”</p><p>Charlotte nodded. “Yes, and then he...” she trailed off, embarrassed. <em>What was she thinking?</em></p><p>“What?” asked Sidney sharply.</p><p>“Oh nothing, he was just a bit rude to me.” She hoped she wasn’t blushing too much.</p><p>“What did he say?”</p><p>“It really doesn’t matter, I might have misheard.”</p><p>“Charlotte, tell me what he said. How can I help you if you won’t be honest?”</p><p>Charlotte took a deep breath. “Well, when the bell went, he was leaving the room and as he passed me, he gave me a look and he said....” She looked away. <em>How could she possibly tell him of all people?</em></p><p>“I’m waiting.”</p><p>She focused her gaze on Sidney’s shoulder and said softly, “He said ‘nice tits Miss’.”</p><p>She looked up at Sidney, blushing furiously, and she was sure he glanced down at her chest for a split second. <em>For God’s sake, Mr Parker</em>, she thought. He moved away, walking towards the window, then spun round again, hands on hips.</p><p>“Are you <em>sure</em> that’s what he said?” She nodded. “Absolutely sure?”</p><p>“Yes. I challenged him and he said something like ‘oh, I said nice lunch Miss’. Then he just left. He was clearly trying to intimidate me.”</p><p>“And that was it? You didn’t reprimand him and you didn’t tell anyone else?” She shook her head. There was a pause.</p><p>“I could exclude him for that, you know. It wouldn’t be the first time. You realise this is serious?” His deep brown eyes bore into her.</p><p>“I wouldn’t want to... cause that much trouble, so early on. Couldn’t you just have a word with him, perhaps?”</p><p>Sidney sighed, looking up at the ceiling. “When’s your next lesson with him?”</p><p>“Tuesday, I think.”</p><p>“Well then, leave it with me. I’ll talk to him tomorrow. You’re sure you don’t want to swap the class?”</p><p>“Yes I’m sure.”</p><p>“Then please come to me if they give you any more bother.” He looked down at her.</p><p>God, he thought, she looks beautiful when she’s upset. But that top is a little distracting. He hoped she hadn’t noticed his eyes briefly swoop her body. Nice tits indeed. Little sod. He’d sort out Joe Braithwaite tomorrow.</p><p>“Thank you,” she smiled. “I should have come to you before.”</p><p>Sidney cleared his throat. “Charlotte, might I suggest... that you... wear something a little more... appropriate in future? These teenage boys you know, some of them are just err... raging with hormones” – <em>Much like me</em>, he thought - “and to have someone like you, someone young and err... attractive, can be a distraction for them. I wouldn’t like to think they regarded you as... fair game.”</p><p>Charlotte was aghast. “You’re telling me what to wear? You’re telling me it’s <em>my </em>fault that some snotty teenage boy can’t control himself?” <em>You bloody hypocrite</em>, she thought.</p><p>“No, I... please... I’m just saying that well, perhaps you should dress a little more formally, not in a ti... T-shirt. That’s all. To avoid any problems.”</p><p>“Yes, I understand perfectly what you were saying. Perhaps I should just wear sackcloth then.” She turned her chin up defiantly in that adorable way.</p><p>Sidney briefly considered the image of Charlotte in sackcloth and decided that she would probably look alluring in pretty much anything.</p><p>“Look, I don’t want to fall out over this. Wear what you like. Just... think a little more about the impression you’re giving. Like I said, you have to lay the law down right at the start.”</p><p>Charlotte was livid. “I think I’d better go now. Thank you for your time, Mr Parker. See you tomorrow.” She turned and walked out before he could utter a word in reply.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Charlotte walked home along the seafront, her head spinning. She decided to stop and make a phone call.</p><p>
  <em>- Georgie, how’s things?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Oh great! Guess which author I met at a launch party the other night?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- I dunno. Tell me.</em>
</p><p>The world of launch parties and famous authors seemed a world away now.</p><p>
  <em>- Bernardine Evaristo!</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Oh, the Booker prize winner? Wow, amazing.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Yeah, she was great to talk to. She told me all about meeting Margaret Atwood as well.<br/>
</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Oh I love Margaret Atwood, she’s so cool.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Are you teaching the Handmaid’s Tale?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Oh no, they won’t let me loose on the A level students yet. Nor the Year 11s, not for another year at least. But I’m going to observe one of Mrs Griffiths’ classes.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- So how’s it going?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Actually, today was bloody awful.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Oh no! What happened?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- I had that Year 10 class again and they really played me up. The Deputy Head came along and told me to keep the class quiet. Then one of the boys, the worst troublemaker, made a comment to me about my tits as he walked out the door.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- What?! What did he say? Did you take him to the head?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- No, I... I didn’t know what to do, I was so shocked. But um... Mr Parker called me to his office after school and said he’d had a complaint from the Deputy Head.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Parker? Is that the guy from the pub? The good-looking one?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Yes, Sidney. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Did you tell him what the boy said?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Yes, and oh Georgie, this is the worst bit. First he actually looked right at my chest. And then he had the cheek to say I should dress more demurely or something, because teenage boys can’t help themselves!</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Oh for God’s sake. What an unreconstructed prick. I hope you told him to fuck off.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Georgie! He’s my boss. I was a bit... short with him though.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Well hopefully he’ll keep his 1950s opinions to himself in future.</em>
</p><p>Charlotte laughed.</p><p>
  <em>– Anyway, he’s going to talk to the boy rather than exclude him or anything. I don’t want a load of trouble already.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Sounds tough Charlotte. I hope you’re coping okay. Been out much with Esther?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- No she’s pretty quiet. I met another teacher today though, Clara. Really nice. Had a good chat at lunchtime.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Look, I’ve got to go, I know you teachers finish early, but some of us are still at work.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Cheek! I’ve still got a ton of marking to do. Bye then!</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Bye!</em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Moonlight Sonata, Piano Sonata No. 14 in C♯ minor, Op. 27, No. 2 by Ludwig van Beethoven (1801)</p><p> </p><p>More investment in arts subjects please! :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Flirtations and Misunderstandings</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>In which everyone ends up in the pub and more hidden feelings come to the surface...</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>On Friday morning, Charlotte checked her messages when she arrived at school. There was an internal email from Sidney Parker.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>10/09/19             7.27am</em>
</p><p>Good morning Miss Heywood,</p><p>Could we please change our weekly meeting to Monday after school instead? I can’t make today as it clashes with another appointment.</p><p>Thank you</p><p>Sidney Parker</p><p> </p><p>Well, that was short and to the point, she thought. She noticed he had reverted to formality. Sighing, she quickly typed in a reply:</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>10/09/19              8.25am</em>
</p><p>Dear Mr Parker,</p><p>No problem. See you Monday at 3.30.</p><p>Regards,</p><p>Charlotte Heywood</p><p> </p><p>If he was going to be all snooty about it, then so would she. Inappropriate indeed!</p><p>Her period had come that morning and Friday was a busy day. At 5pm she was still marking in the staffroom, hoping to get most of it finished so that she wouldn’t have to lug too many books home for the weekend. The door opened and Sidney walked in. Giving her the briefest of nods, he made his way over to the coffee machine. Charlotte kept her head down, examining her books.</p><p>The door opened once more and Edward Denham peered around the corner. Spotting Charlotte he strode into the room, followed by Clara Brereton, who looked somewhat flushed and flustered.</p><p>“Charlotte! We’re off to the Crown with a few of the others. Coming?” he boomed.</p><p>“Oh,” said Charlotte, “I’m still finishing some marking.”</p><p>“Never mind that, you’ve got the whole weekend to catch up. Come on!”</p><p>“Okay then,” replied Charlotte. “I could do with a drink, it’s been a stressful week.” She glanced over at Sidney, who was stirring his coffee and pointedly not looking their way.</p><p>“Parker!” called out Edward. “You going to deign us with your presence?”</p><p>Sidney turned round and took a sip of his coffee. Why did that bloody fool have to address him by his surname as if he was still at public school?</p><p>“You know what, I might just do that,” smiled Sidney. “I could do with a drink too.” He glanced at Charlotte. “I’ve got a few things to finish up, you go ahead and I’ll join you there later.”</p><p>“Ooh, we <em>are </em>honoured,” laughed Edward. “See you there, then.”</p><p>Charlotte gathered up her things and headed off to the Crown with Clara and Edward.</p><p> </p><p>Sidney went back to his office. It <em>had</em> been a stressful week and this wasn’t his weekend to have the kids so he had some free time for once. Also, he was hoping to get some time alone with Charlotte. He’d spoken to Joe Braithwaite today and it would be good to update her about it before the weekend. It would also probably be a good idea to try and smooth things over with her. They couldn’t carry on acting in this way, addressing each other as if they came from the 1800s or something. He wished he’d chosen his words more carefully, but she really had been too quick to take offence. He wasn’t the type of man who thought that women who dressed sexily and then complained about male attention, or worse, 'had it coming to them'. As much as he (very) much appreciated women, he’d always tried to be respectful and he didn’t want her to think of him as some sort of male chauvinist.</p><p> </p><p>It was after six by the time he arrived at the Crown. He pushed open the heavy door and was met with a hubbub of noise and laughter. The pub was busy and rather stuffy. He looked around and spotted a group of teachers over at a table in the corner. Charlotte was among them. She was sitting next to Edward Denham, who had his arm draped over the chair behind her. Sidney went up to the bar and ordered a pint but then stayed where he was. He wasn’t sure he wanted to go over. Charlotte and Edward were laughing and joking and at one point, Edward leaned forward and stroked Charlotte’s hair. She pushed him away with a laugh. Clara Brereton was sitting on the other side of the table and Sidney noticed her glaring at Charlotte, although Charlotte didn’t seem to have noticed. Sidney began to feel uncomfortable and irritated, his jaw tensing.</p><p> </p><p>Charlotte got up from her chair, somewhat unsteadily. She was already on her third cider and wondering if this was such a good idea on an empty stomach. She needed the loo. Feeling slightly giddy, she was heading towards the toilets when she spotted Sidney leaning on the bar. She hadn’t seen him come in the pub, why hadn’t he come over? She acknowledged him with a nod as she passed but he suddenly came up behind her and grabbed her arm.</p><p>“Charlotte,” he hissed, “What are you up to? You do know he’s married, don’t you?”</p><p>“Who? What are you talking about?” snapped Charlotte. “Please let go of my arm.” He was standing very close to her and she caught the faint scent of his aftershave. His eyes were dark and flashing.</p><p>Sidney let her arm drop.</p><p>“Edward, of course.”</p><p>She folded her arms, glaring back into his eyes. “What do you mean, what am I doing?”</p><p>“You were clearly enjoying his attention.”</p><p>Charlotte felt a mixture of embarrassment and indignation.</p><p>“So first you tell me what to wear, now you’re telling me who I can and can’t talk to?!” She was seething.</p><p>“Just be careful. He has something of a reputation.” Her pupils were a little dilated and he could smell the alcohol on her breath.</p><p>“What on earth are you insinuating? And, anyway, is it really any of your business?!” She was shouting now. A few people in the pub began to look round.</p><p>“Charlotte, keep your voice down,” he said quietly.</p><p>“Stop telling me what to do! I don’t need to justify myself to you!”</p><p>Glaring angrily at him, she turned round and stormed off towards the toilets. Slamming the door of the cubicle, she locked it and promptly burst into tears.</p><p><em>Infuriating man!</em> <em>He made her so angry!</em> Her head was spinning. Had she been flirting? Edward had in fact mentioned his wife in an offhand manner, but they were only messing around. She had also noticed Clara giving her daggers looks. That was a little more puzzling.</p><p>And yet. Why did she feel ashamed? Why did it seem to matter if Sidney Parker thought badly of her?</p><p>Five minutes later, after drying her eyes, she emerged from the toilets. Sidney was nowhere to be seen. She went over to the table to collect her bags.</p><p>“Going already Charlotte?” said Edward, surprised. “Stay and have another drink!”</p><p>“No thank you, I’ve got a bit of a headache, I think I’ll head off and have an early night.”</p><p>“On your own?” he smirked.</p><p>“Yes, Edward, on my own.”</p><p> </p><p>******************************************</p><p>As Charlotte brushed angrily past him, Sidney watched her retreat into the toilets. This was becoming a habit, her turning her back on him. He slammed down his glass on the counter, still half-full, and left the pub. Unlocking his bike from the lamppost outside, he jumped on the saddle and headed for home, where he spent the evening drinking bottles of beer in front of the TV. He had been looking forward to a good evening out. Damn that woman.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Jealous Guy, John Lennon (1971)</p><p>By the way, in case you don't know:<br/>State school = free, public education<br/>Public school = private education (yeah I know)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Regrets and Ruminations</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>In which things get a little more intimate... kind of.</p><p>It's a little steamy, but only a little. If that bothers you, skip the first and last paragraphs :)</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>Sidney was sitting behind his desk, leaning back in his chair. He watched as Charlotte slowly bent over to pick something up off the floor. She was wearing a very short, very tight black skirt. He could see the curve of her arse and the tops of her stockings, where the silky fabric gave way to bare flesh. If he peered down a little he could just glimpse her lacy black knickers. As she slowly stood up, she flicked her long, wild hair back and it tumbled around her shoulders. She turned towards him, smiling seductively, adjusting her skirt as she did so. Walking slowly towards his chair, gazing into his eyes, she straddled his lap. Her skirt rode up even higher. She was wearing a turquoise T-shirt, stretched tightly across her breasts. Smiling at him, she slowly pulled the T-shirt up over her head. Sidney gasped. She wasn’t wearing a bra. Putting both hands in his hair, she pulled his head towards her breasts. He clamped his mouth around her nipple, hungrily. Then he gently lifted her onto the edge of the desk. She smiled seductively back at him. Still kissing her breasts, he began to undo his belt…</p><p> </p><p>Sidney woke up with a start. And, it has to be said, with a hard-on. It took him a minute to realise that he was alone in his bedroom, not in his office, sucking Charlotte Heywood’s tits. Good god, he had to get a grip on this situation. What was happening to him?</p><p>He supposed it was because he’d been virtually living like a monk for the last couple of years. Since Eliza, there had been a few women, none of them serious. That cute American aid worker in Kenya. That psycho cover teacher two years ago who had nearly cost him his job. On the odd occasions when he went up to London to see Crowe, he could have his pick of the women that flocked round them in the City bars. But he found them shallow and really, quite boring. He also felt somehow... objectified. They didn’t mind sleeping with a sexy Maths teacher for one night, but he wasn’t the ultimate prize they were after.</p><p>He had to face facts. Charlotte had definitely... reawakened something in him. Even though she was damned infuriating. She seemed to have the knack of pissing him off while at the same time making him think twice about what he’d done, or what he’d said. And she did have lovely, lovely breasts. He smiled. But it wasn’t just her curves that he liked, it was her lustrous, slightly unruly hair, her cute, dimpled chin, her small, slightly freckled nose and, most of all, those big brown eyes. He could lose himself in those eyes. He rolled over, buried his face in his pillow and groaned.</p><p> </p><p>After breakfast, Sidney went on a long, long ride on his bike. It was a beautifully sunny day and there was hardly any wind. But today, somehow, it failed to lift his spirits. As he rode, he pondered what to do about Miss Heywood. They had clearly got off on the wrong foot and well, she was just too distracting. There was nothing else for it. He would have to create some distance between them.</p><p>After another evening spent in front of the TV with a takeaway and a couple of beers, Sidney drove over to Brighton on Sunday. He was having lunch at Diana’s. Her partner Susan would be there, plus Mary and the kids, and possibly Arthur, depending on how heavy his Saturday night had been.</p><p>The siblings had grown close since the death of their parents ten years ago and Mary was now part of the family more than ever. It was a shame they couldn’t invite Tom over as well, but Mary still found it difficult to be in the same room with him. Tom only saw his children when they stayed at Sidney’s, which Sidney thought was sad.</p><p>Normally, he enjoyed these family occasions. Today, however, he just wasn’t in the mood. Although the roast Mary and Susan had prepared was delicious, it felt like everyone was talking too loudly, especially the children. Arthur, unsurprisingly, turned up once lunch was over, full of beans and bearing large bags of sweets for the children. Mary rolled her eyes.</p><p>The children were jumping all over Arthur, high on sugar. Sidney sat back in the armchair and wearily closed his eyes. A small hand tapped him on the leg and he opened his eyes to see little Henry standing in front of him. He lifted him up and put him on his knee. Henry was his favourite. He’d only been a toddler when Tom and Mary split up, and he loved his Uncle Sidney.</p><p>“What’s the matter, Sidney?” asked Henry frowning. “You look sad.”</p><p>Sidney smiled and ruffled Henry’s hair. “I’m not. Come on Henry, let’s go in the garden and play football.”</p><p>“Yay!”</p><p> </p><p>***********************************</p><p> </p><p>Charlotte, meanwhile, woke up on Saturday with a throbbing head and a nagging sense of regret. She sauntered into the kitchen where Esther was making breakfast and sat down wearily at the table.</p><p>“You ok, Charlotte? You look a bit fed up.”</p><p>“Oh, I’ve just had a really rough week. Plus I’ve got my period.” She didn’t really feel she knew Esther well enough yet to explain everything that had happened. She wasn’t even sure she wanted to tell Georgie about last night.</p><p>Esther pulled a face. “How crap. I know, how about we go out tonight in Brighton? You haven’t been there yet, have you? That’ll cheer you up.”</p><p>“That’s really kind of you Esther, but I think I had a few too many last night. I don’t feel like drinking.”</p><p>“We don’t have to drink. I’ll be driving anyway. How about we go over later this afternoon and look round the shops in The Lanes, then go to the cinema or something?”</p><p>Charlotte smiled. “That’d be great.”</p><p>“Super! About three o’clock then? I’m going for a run in a minute, want to come?”</p><p>“No, I’ll head down to the sea. Looks like a nice day.”</p><p> </p><p>A bracing dip in the sea was just what she needed. With nothing to do except float on her back or battle against the waves, she had time and space to think. Shit. She had actually shouted at her boss, hadn’t she? Never mind what he had insinuated, she shouldn’t have lost her temper. Especially not in public. Perhaps he was just trying to look out for her; after all, Edward was a bit of a sleazeball, even if he was quite attractive. His poor wife. Whatever. She would have to apologise to Sidney on Monday. They couldn’t keep locking horns like this.</p><p>She walked back slowly from the beach to the flat and climbed in the shower. In her bedroom, she dried herself off and put on her knickers, then looked at herself in the full length mirror. She pinched the slight rolls of fat around her tummy and frowned. She was putting on a few pounds.</p><p>She looked at her breasts. She’d always rather liked them, they were quite voluptuous and the handful of men she’d slept with had always rather liked them too. And yet they could be a bit of an encumbrance. She’d couldn’t run very comfortably, even in a sports bra, and sometimes they just... got in the way. Why on earth were men so fascinated with them? After all, their main function was to produce milk. She smiled, thinking of the cows back home in Dorset, or her sister Elinor pumping her breasts to freeze milk for her babies.</p><p>She turned to the side and looked at her bum. Bit on the big side, but overall, not too bad.</p><p>She closed her eyes and imagined a faceless, nameless man standing behind her, enveloping her in his arms and looking at her in the mirror. ‘You’re perfect just as you are,’ he whispered seductively in her ear. One of his hands was stroking her breasts, the other travelling down her stomach towards her knickers. His long fingers reached inside and gently stroked her hairs then moved down and parted her lips. He was kissing her ear, then her hair, then her neck. She could feel his stubble rasping against her skin. He moved his head lower towards her breasts, his kisses getting more urgent. She ran her fingers through his thick dark hair. She moaned and opened her eyes, he looked up at her smiling, his dark brown eyes...</p><p><em>Oh God! She mustn’t think about him like that!</em> Only yesterday she’d felt like punching him in the face! Twice this week actually. He was undeniably attractive, but also infuriating – one minute friendly and professional, the next incredibly condescending. She had caught him looking admiringly at her once or twice, but surely he must be married? She can hardly ask him. Although she’d not noticed a ring or seen any photos cluttering his desk. Most teachers’ desks were covered with photos of their adorable children, who they hardly ever saw because they were always at work. And never mind all that, he was still her boss.</p><p><em>Charlotte,</em> she told herself, <em>you have to stop this. Put him out of your mind, or you’ll go mad.</em></p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I couldn't think of a song for this one, apart from "Can't get you outta my head" by Kylie Minogue, and now I can't get that bloody song out of my head...</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Making amends</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>In which apologies are made, Charlotte finds it hard to make people out and has yet another strange encounter...</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>Monday morning, 8.20. Sidney had not slept well again and was walking down the corridor from the staffroom towards his office, deep in thought. A file of papers was tucked under one arm and he was clutching a mug of coffee in the other hand. As he turned the corner, he suddenly walked right into someone. They bumped chests and his files went flying. Although he managed to hold onto his mug, some of the coffee splashed, right onto his crisp white shirt.</p><p>“For God’s sake, can’t you look where you’re...” he roared, expecting it to be a pupil. “Oh... Miss Heywood. Always popping up when least expected. Christ, I’ve got coffee on my shirt now.”</p><p>“You weren’t exactly looking where... oh I’m so sorry, forgive me,” said Charlotte. “It was an accident.” She was down on her knees on the floor, trying to pick up his papers, blushing furiously. He crouched down on the floor to help her. Their fingers briefly touched. He glanced at her face but she was still looking down, blushing. She was back in her demure white blouse but as she bent forward he could just glimpse her lacy white bra and the outline of her breasts.</p><p>She stood up quickly and handed him the file. “Sorry, Mr Parker.” Sidney was so stunned by her sudden change of attitude towards him, he wasn’t sure what to say.</p><p>“Don’t worry about it. I’ll see you at 3.30 today for our meeting?”</p><p>“Yes of course. I’d better go. Sorry again.”</p><p> </p><p>The day sped by and it was time for their meeting. Sidney felt inexplicably nervous and rehearsed what he wanted to say in his mind. He decided to arrange their chairs so that they could be a bit more informal, rather than with his imposing desk between them.</p><p>When Charlotte arrived, she looked nervous too. She sat down, took a deep breath and immediately launched into what she wanted to say.</p><p>“Mr Parker, I want to apologise for my behaviour on Friday. I should never have shouted at you like that. I... I’d had a rough week and probably a little too much to drink. I’m ashamed of myself and I hope you don’t think too badly of me.” She looked up at him, her eyes pleading.</p><p>Once again, Sidney was stunned. He’d been expecting blunt defiance and criticism of his chauvinistic ways. Now he wasn’t sure about his next move.</p><p>“Miss Heywood... Charlotte...” he said softly, “I... I'm the one who should apologise. I jumped to conclusions and it was unfair of me. I should have spoken to you in a more... reasonable way. You weren’t to know about Edward. He has a reputation as a bit of a... tomcat.” Sidney smiled. “Just be on your guard.”</p><p>“Oh, I don’t care about him!" She blushed. "I mean, that was nothing. But I shouldn’t have reacted to you the way I did. I'm sorry.”</p><p>“Charlotte, you’ve already said sorry.”</p><p>“Sorry.” They both laughed.</p><p>Sidney cleared his throat. “The thing is Charlotte, I’ve been thinking and... well, I’m not sure this is working out. We seem to have got off on the wrong foot, to put it mildly, and I’m wondering if it wouldn’t be a good idea to allocate you a different mentor. I was thinking of suggesting it to Mr Ferrars.”</p><p>Charlotte’s eyes widened and her head dropped. Mr Ferrars was the Deputy Head, a middle-aged, balding man with a gruff manner. She paused, still looking down at the floor.</p><p>“Mr Parker, do you think I’m a good teacher?” she asked quietly.</p><p>Sidney was surprised. “Well yes, from what I’ve seen so far and from what Mrs Griffiths has told me, you seem to be very… capable. Apart from that incident with Year 10. I meant to tell you, by the way, I had a stern word with Joe Braithwaite on Friday and he’s on a formal warning. If he uses any... inappropriate language to you again, it’ll be an internal exclusion. In the first instance. He’s also been told to make a full apology to you at the next class. Make sure he does that. And if you have any further problems, come and see me.”</p><p>“Thank you. I will.” She looked up at him and smiled. “You haven’t observed me yet though, have you? I thought we were going to do that this week.”</p><p>“That’s right, but...”</p><p>“Mr Parker, I’d like to give it one more chance. If you think you can put up with me. I would rather not be passed to Mr Ferrars if that’s possible. I’d rather stay with you.” She bit her lip.</p><p>Sidney sat back in his chair, folding his arms, and looked at her admiringly. Not only had she been willing to admit she was in the wrong, she also had perseverance.</p><p>“Very well. Let’s see how it goes. But I think we both need to be careful not to make assumptions about each other in future, until we’ve got to know each other better. Agreed?” He offered her his hand, smiling directly at her.</p><p>Tentatively, she clasped the ends of his fingers and lightly shook his hand, trembling slightly at his warm touch.</p><p>“Agreed.” She looked down at the floor.</p><p> </p><p>“So, when shall we schedule your observation? Wednesday’s a good day for me. What classes do you have?”</p><p>Charlotte consulted her planner. “I’ve got a Year 9 class, third period. That any good?”</p><p>Sidney checked his diary. “Yes, that should be fine. Are they a good class?”</p><p>“Not bad. We’re studying Jane Eyre.”</p><p>Sidney racked his brains. “Oh... yes, didn’t she write Pride and Prejudice?”</p><p>Charlotte burst out laughing, then quickly put her hand over her mouth. “Sorry, it’s just... that’s Jane Austen. Jane Eyre is a book by Charlotte Brontë.” She would have to tell Georgie that one later!</p><p>Sidney looked amused. “What can I say, I’m only a Maths teacher. Are you any good at Year 9 Trigonometry?”</p><p>Charlotte shook her head and smiled shyly at him. “Don’t you read much then?”</p><p>“Oh I used to, stuff like, I don’t know, Cormac McCarthy and Elmore Leonard. But I don’t seem to get much time these days. I guess you’re a bookworm.”</p><p>She nodded. “Even if I don’t get time in the day, I always like to read a book in bed. It helps me go to sleep.”</p><p>Sidney suddenly had an image of her sitting up in bed reading, wrinkling her nose in concentration, as he lay beside her, silently watching her. He shook himself.</p><p>“Well, perhaps I should give it a go. Wednesday at 11, then.”</p><p> </p><p>**********************************************</p><p> </p><p>On Wednesday, Sidney found his way to Miss Heywood’s classroom in good time. She was standing at the desk looking over her notes and smiled at him as he entered.</p><p>“Good morning.”</p><p>“Morning Charlotte, all ready?”</p><p>“I think so,” she puffed her cheeks nervously.</p><p>“Don’t worry about me, just pretend I’m not there,” smiled Sidney.</p><p><em>How on earth do you expect me to do that?</em> she thought.</p><p>“By the way, how’s that Year 10 class going? Did Joe apologise to you?”</p><p>“I had them yesterday, I think they’re starting to settle down now. Yes, Joe came and apologised to me at the start of the class. He didn’t exactly do any work, but he didn’t wind the class up quite as much as usual.”</p><p>Sidney sighed. “He’ll regret it in two years’ time when he leaves school with no qualifications and ends up hanging round on street corners with nothing to do. He’ll never get out of Sanditon.”</p><p>“Why, is it really that bad?” she laughed.</p><p>“Can I let you into a secret, Charlotte?” he smiled. “I actually went to this school as a boy, my family’s lived here for generations. But unlike Joe, I worked hard, went to university and I've travelled the world.”</p><p>“So why on earth did you come back?” she asked, surprised.</p><p>“Ah, that’s a long story.”</p><p> </p><p>Just then, the students began to enter. Sidney disappeared to the back of the class and sat down. Charlotte began the lesson.</p><p>“So,” she announced, “today we’re looking at the Red Room chapter in Jane Eyre. Have you all read it?”</p><p>She was met with a mixture of eager nods and shifty looks.</p><p>“So who can summarise briefly what happened? Yes... Lucy?”</p><p>A small girl at the front had her hand up. “Basically, her cousin picks on her and throws a book at her, then she goes mad and attacks him, her aunt locks her in the Red Room, which is where her uncle died, and she has a panic attack.”</p><p>“Brilliant, Lucy, that’s a very good way of describing it, it <em>is</em> like a panic attack. Though I don’t suppose they would have used that term then, they probably would have said she was hysterical. Women were often thought to be irrational and hysterical, and in fact the word itself derives from the Greek word for womb, as doctors at that time thought that only women could be hysterical and that it was a physical defect.”</p><p>“But Jane’s not a woman, Miss,” said one of the boys.</p><p>“No, she’s just a scared little girl. How would you describe her cousin’s treatment of her?”</p><p>“He’s a bully. And a snitch.”</p><p>“Exactly. Can anyone tell me about the symbolism of the name, Red Room?”</p><p>Another girl put her hand up. “I think the colour red shows her fear and anger.”</p><p>“Excellent, yes. That’s one aspect. Any other ways in which the Red Room represents her experience or her situation? Yes, Alex?”</p><p>Sidney was impressed. The class really seemed to engage with her and she was very good at making the story relevant to the modern day. He found himself getting caught up in the lesson and listening to her intently, forgetting to mark anything down on the observation sheet in front of him. After about 20 minutes’ discussion, she handed out some worksheets and the class divided into groups to ponder over the questions. As she moved around the class, she looked up, caught his eye and smiled. He smiled back admiringly.</p><p>The bell rang and the classroom emptied of students. He gathered up his papers and came to talk to her at the desk.</p><p>“That was great, Charlotte. I really enjoyed it.”</p><p>“Did you really?” She gave him an amused look.</p><p>“Yes,” he grinned. So what happens to Jane Eyre next?”</p><p>“Well, she gets sent away to school by her aunt, then when she’s older she goes to work as a governess where she meets a grumpy older man with a lot of skeletons in his closet.”</p><p>“Let me guess, they fall in love?”</p><p>“You’ll just have to read it, Sidney.” She grinned cheekily.</p><p> </p><p>*********************************************************</p><p> </p><p>The week flew by and soon it was Friday. Sidney and Charlotte’s meeting after school went well and he complimented her again on her observation, telling her that Mrs Griffiths had also made several positive comments about her.</p><p>“She tells me you’ve agreed to run the Drama Club next term. You’re sure that’s not too much to take on?” Sidney enquired.</p><p>“No, I’m looking forward to it! I was involved in a lot of productions at university and as Mrs Griffiths said, most of the other English teachers have young families, so they prefer not to do too many after-school clubs. And I think she has enough on her plate.”</p><p>“Yes, she does,” admitted Sidney. “I’m sure she’s very relieved not to have that responsibility.”</p><p>He looked at his watch. It was 4.10. “Sorry Charlotte, I have to... meet someone at 4.30 today, do you mind if we finish a bit early? I think we’ve covered everything and if you have any more questions, just send me an email.”</p><p>He stood up and began putting his jacket on.</p><p>“Of course, no problem,” replied Charlotte, although for some reason she felt disappointed. She stood up to go. As she walked past his desk, she noticed a copy of Jane Eyre on top of a pile of papers.</p><p>She looked across at him, smiling. “You decided to check it out then?”</p><p>He seemed a bit embarrassed. “Yeah, I got a copy from the school library.”</p><p>“So do you like it?”</p><p>“Well, yeah, it’s a good story but... there are a lot of words in it.” He grinned.</p><p>Charlotte laughed. “Keep at it, you’ll enjoy it. Does it send you to sleep then?” she asked shyly.</p><p>“Yeah, couple of pages and I’m nodding off.” Grinning, he picked up some papers from the desk. “You want to mark this Year 11 Maths for me in exchange?”</p><p>She laughed. “No, you’re alright. Have a good weekend, then. Bye.”</p><p>“Bye Charlotte, you too.” He watched her go, wistfully.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Charlotte wandered down the corridors dreamily. This had been a good week. No major incidents, a really good observation lesson, and Sidney and she seemed to have patched things up and were, well, getting on rather well. She thought about him reading Jane Eyre in bed at night and smiled. Was he alone in bed? Or was there a woman next to him, reading alongside him, cuddling him as he dozed off?</p><p>She found herself going past the Music department, having taken a wrong turning once again. Clara didn’t seem to be around. Standing at the end of the corridor, she heard a noise. An unmistakable kind of noise. The noise of grunting and panting. Two distinct voices, one low and masculine, the other high-pitched and female, beginning to moan quite loudly. She looked towards the door of the Music cupboard. The noises were coming from there! She swiftly turned round and hurried back to the staffroom.</p><p><em>Was that Clara in the cupboard?</em> Who else could it be? It couldn’t possibly be a student. Clara was the only Music teacher. Who the hell was she with and why were they doing it in a cupboard?</p><p>The answer to her question came a few minutes later when the door of the staffroom opened and Clara walked in, somewhat flushed and pulling at her sleeves, followed by none other than Edward. They seemed surprised to see her there. Blushing, Clara moved towards her locker and began getting her things together. Edward paused at the table where Charlotte was sitting, sorting through her students’ books.</p><p>“Hi Charlotte,” he drawled, “How’s things? Getting to grips with these terrible kids?”</p><p>“Yes, everything’s fine, Edward,” she replied, “settling down.”</p><p>“I heard you had some trouble with Year 10.” He raised an eyebrow. “Must be difficult with all those hormonal teenage boys <em>lusting</em> after you.” He quite pointedly stared at her chest and winked at her. “Although I can’t say I blame them.”</p><p>Charlotte gave him a withering look. “At least they have an excuse, Edward. They’re teenagers.”</p><p>He held up his hands in mock offence. “Alright, keep your knickers on. It was only a bit of banter. Can’t you take a joke?” She didn’t reply.</p><p>Glancing over at Clara, he picked up his bag and jacket. “Well, I’d better get home to wifey,” he said breezily. “Bye Clara, bye Charlotte.” He left.</p><p>Not long after, Clara walked towards the door and gave Charlotte a look as she passed. She wasn’t smiling.</p><p>“Bye Clara!” called Charlotte. No answer.</p><p> </p><p>Charlotte’s head was spinning. Not only was it quite obvious that Edward had been shagging Clara in the Music cupboard, now she was wondering if Sidney had told any other teachers about the incident with Joe Braithwaite. Surely he was too professional to do that? Her cheeks burned at the thought of him discussing her discomfort about the situation with anyone, least of all Edward. It was all too confounding.</p><p>She took her cup of tea over to the window and glanced at her watch. It was 4.30. Time to go home soon. Sidney was in the staff car park, standing next to his black Vauxhall. Of course, he’d said he was meeting someone.</p><p>Just then a blue Zafira entered the car park and pulled up next to Sidney’s car. A woman with short blonde hair stepped out of the car, dressed in slacks and a T-shirt with a big necklace around her neck. She opened the rear door of her car and three small children jumped out. The littlest one, a boy, ran up to Sidney, who swooped him up in his arms and spun him around in the air, laughing. Two older girls also ran up to him excitedly. Sidney put the boy down and stepped towards the blonde woman. He opened his arms wide, gave her an enveloping hug and kissed her on the cheek. The woman was beaming as she hugged him back. Sidney stood back from her and kept his hands on her shoulders while they talked. Then the woman opened the boot of her car and handed several holdalls to Sidney, who put them in his boot. She also passed him a child’s car seat. He opened the rear doors of his car and the three children jumped in. Sidney and the woman helped them into their seats. The woman then drove off on her own, waving at the children and Sidney as she left. Sidney got in his car and drove out of the car park after her.</p><p>Charlotte’s eyes were pricking with tears. <em>Oh don’t be so ridiculous, Charlotte</em>, she told herself. It was inevitable he would have a wife. Or was she an ex-wife? If so, they seemed to be on very good terms. But he’d only given her a peck on the cheek. Somehow, the woman didn’t look at all how she’d imagined Sidney’s wife would be. For a start, she seemed several years older than him, with a nice face but not especially attractive. A little careworn and slightly plump. Whatever. Those were clearly his kids, and he was a weekend dad. More to the point, why was she so interested in his personal life?</p><p>Charlotte sipped her tea. It had gone cold. She packed up her bag and left for home.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte (1847)</p><p>Jane Eyre, Jane Austen, they’re all the same aren’t they? (It’s a running joke in our family).</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. The Sea, The Sea</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>In which Charlotte takes a walk on the beach and throws some stones...</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>Charlotte slept late the next morning and by the time she got up, Esther had already gone for her run. She sipped her tea in the kitchen and looked out the window at the grey sky. Summer seemed to have disappeared already; it definitely wasn’t a good day for a swim in the sea. She had a load of marking to do this weekend, but she couldn’t face it right now. Perhaps a walk on the beach would lift her mood.</p><p>Charlotte threw on some jeans, T-shirt and a jacket, ran a comb through her hair and headed out. The air had turned colder and there was a stiff sea breeze. She headed down to the seafront and jumped down the steps onto the beach. There was hardly a soul about. She walked along the shoreline, her trainers crunching on the pebbles, the wind blowing her hair across her face, lost deep in thought. The waves pushed and pulled back and forth, back and forth, endlessly crashing against the shore. The repetitive sound and movement of the sea was comforting somehow. Looking out across the English Channel, stretching far into the horizon towards France, she wondered if anyone over there was walking along the beach alone, like her.</p><p>In the distance, she could see a family standing at the shoreline, throwing pebbles into the sea. She smiled. Someone else loved these quiet beach days too. As she got closer, she could see that it was a man with some children. Three small children. Her heart began to pound with apprehension as she realised that it was Sidney, playing with the children he’d taken home in his car last night. She searched about for a means of escape. The concrete sea wall was steep and the only way to get back onto the promenade was to go up the sets of steps that were dotted at intervals along the seafront. The alternative was to turn around and retrace her steps and hope he hadn’t seen her. But it was too late.</p><p> </p><p>“Charlotte!” he called. A wide smile spread across his face. “Enjoying the sea air? Beautiful day, isn’t it?”</p><p><em>Was it?</em> She hadn’t noticed. He was casually dressed in dark blue jeans and a black T-shirt under a black sports jacket. Somehow he looked even more handsome than in the suits he wore at school.</p><p>“Um... hi. Just having a walk to clear my head,” she said awkwardly.</p><p>“We’re skimming stones. You any good at that?”</p><p>She was, actually. Growing up with three brothers and two sisters near the Jurassic coast in Dorset, they had spent a lot of time at the beach. She smiled at him, searched for a flat stone among the thousands of pebbles on the shore, looked out to sea and expertly tossed it across the water. It bounced one, two, three times before sinking into the depths.</p><p>“Wow,” laughed Sidney. “Let’s see if I can beat that!”</p><p>He couldn’t. His stone fell some way short of Charlotte’s. He tried again. Bit better. Charlotte found another stone and skimmed it fluidly across the water. The three children watched her. “Wow!”</p><p>“You’re too good at this,” he sighed.</p><p>“It’s all in the wrist action,” she said, not really meaning to make it come out like that. He chuckled.</p><p>“You’d better teach the kids how to do it, I’m rubbish. Let me introduce you. Charlotte, this is Jenny, Alicia and Henry. This is Charlotte, she’s a teacher at my school.”</p><p>“Hello.” All the children smiled shyly at her.</p><p>“Hello,” said Charlotte, smiling at the children. “Well, I’d better be going. Nice to meet you.”</p><p>Sidney looked disappointed. “Do you need to be somewhere?”</p><p>“Not really, just I...”</p><p>At that moment, Henry tugged on Sidney’s jeans. “Sidney, when are we seeing Daddy?”</p><p>
  <em>Daddy? Daddy? He wasn’t their daddy?</em>
</p><p>“I told you Henry, he’s coming round for lunch then he’s taking you to the park.”</p><p>“Will he buy us an ice cream?” wheedled Henry.</p><p>“You’ll have to ask him, not me,” said Sidney. Henry pouted and toddled back towards his sisters.</p><p> </p><p>He turned to look at Charlotte. Dressed simply in tight blue jeans and a green jacket, over a white T-shirt, the wind was blowing wisps of her long, curly hair across her eyes. She had no make-up on and he thought she looked utterly adorable.</p><p>Charlotte looked out at the sea and then back at him. “They’re not your children then, I take it?”</p><p>He laughed. “Good god, no! They’re my brother Tom’s children. You know, the one who works behind the bar at that dreadful pub.”</p><p>Charlotte felt her heart leap in relief, even though she knew she really shouldn’t care so much.</p><p>“So why...? Sorry, it’s none of my business,” she corrected herself.</p><p>“No, it’s alright,” he said softly. “Tom and Mary separated a few years ago. Mary lives in Brighton, at my sister’s house actually. She prefers him not to go over there and he often has to work weekends. Plus he lives above the pub and... it’s not really suitable for the children, as you can imagine.”</p><p>
  <em>That blonde woman was his sister-in-law.</em>
</p><p>“So they stay at your house? How often?” asked Charlotte.</p><p>“Every other weekend, more or less.”</p><p>“Wow,” said Charlotte, “that’s a lot of commitment.”</p><p>“I don’t mind,” he smiled. “They’re good kids and the best thing is I get to hand them back before Monday. Listen, Charlotte,” he continued, tilting his head to one side, “I was thinking of getting a coffee. Would you like one? You still have to teach the kids how to skim stones like that. Teach me as well maybe.”</p><p>Charlotte felt a warmth spread through her body. “Okay.” She tried to look casual. He was just being friendly.</p><p>“There’s a café just up there. Would you mind staying with the kids while I go?”</p><p>“Of course not.” She smiled.</p><p>At the word ‘café’, all three children rushed over and looked up expectantly at Sidney. “Can we have something? Please?” asked Alicia.</p><p>“Ice cream!” shouted Henry.</p><p>“Say please, Henry!” scolded his eldest sister, Jenny.</p><p>“Pleeeeease!”</p><p>“I’ll get you some ice lollies,” said Sidney. “Stay here and be good for Charlotte.”</p><p> </p><p>Sidney walked back from the café to the beach, balancing the paper coffee cups in his hands, the lollies stuffed in his jacket pocket. <em>What was he doing</em>? Well, it was just a coffee. They’d got off to a bad start the first couple of weeks and he was just trying to smooth things over, get to know her a little better. He pushed any other thoughts to the back of his mind. He glanced over. She was standing at the shoreline with the children, showing them how to skim the stones across the water. They seemed to have warmed to her immediately.</p><p>After dishing out the lollies to the excited children, Sidney and Charlotte sat down on the pebbles a little way apart from each other and sipped their drinks, looking out to sea. The children were still throwing stones, their lollies dripping as they did so.</p><p>“So...um... you don’t have children of your own?” asked Charlotte, looking at him sideways.</p><p>“No! These are enough for me at the moment,” he laughed. He looked down at the pebbles, running a few of them over in his hands. “I was married actually, but err... I got divorced, five years ago. We didn’t have any children. Thank god!” He picked out a large stone and tossed it into the sea, somewhat violently.</p><p>There was a pause. Sidney stretched out his long legs on the pebbles and moved onto his side, bending one knee. Charlotte found this pose a little disconcerting. One elbow resting on the beach, his head supported by his hand, his hair was gently ruffled by the wind.</p><p>“What about you Charlotte?” he looked up at her, grinning. “How many husbands have you had?”</p><p>Charlotte laughed. “None. I... um... had a boyfriend in London but we split up last January.” She blushed. Sidney was staring at her curiously.</p><p>“And your family? Do you have any brothers or sisters?”</p><p>“Oh yes, three brothers and two sisters. Plus my mum and dad.”</p><p>“Wow, that is a big family!”</p><p>“Well, there’s not an awful lot to do in Willingden,” she giggled. “William’s the eldest, then Richard, Elinor, Sam, then me, and my little sister Alison.”</p><p>“Where’s Willingden?”</p><p>“It’s a village in Dorset, near Lyme Regis, on the coast. You know Lyme Regis? There’s a scene in a Jane Austen novel where a character falls off the harbour wall and nearly dies.”</p><p>“Ah yes,” he grins, “I remember Jane Austen now. One of my exes forced me to watch Pride and Prejudice. She said I reminded her of Mr Darcy.”</p><p>
  <em>One of my exes?</em>
</p><p>“I couldn’t possibly comment, Mr Parker.” Charlotte suppressed a giggle.</p><p>“I thought it was slightly unfair. He was a moody bastard wasn’t he? Bit like Mr Rochester.”</p><p>“Oh, have you been reading more of Jane Eyre, then?” she asked, a little surprised.</p><p>“Yeah, she’s at Thornfield now and she’s met Rochester. Now he really <em>is</em> a moody bastard.”</p><p>“Ah, but in literature the moody bastards are redeemed by the love of a good woman,” she teased him.</p><p>“So, there’s hope for me yet then?” He raised an eyebrow. “Well, I’ll just have to hope I meet one.”</p><p>He shot her a glance and she looked down, slightly embarrassed. There was a lull in the conversation and the children came over to them. Sidney sat up and Henry joined him on the pebbles, leaning on his legs.</p><p>“You must have a lot of nephews and nieces then, Charlotte?” he asked.</p><p>She counted on her fingers. “Let me see. Nine. No, ten. Sam and his wife just had a baby. They live in Amsterdam.”</p><p>“We have three mummies!” announced Alicia proudly.</p><p>“Wow, you’re lucky,” replied Charlotte, “I’ve only got one.”</p><p>Henry counted on his fingers. “Mummy, Auntie Di-Di and Auntie Susie.”</p><p>“Susan is my sister Di’s partner,” Sidney explained to her. “And what about Uncle Sidney, Henry? Don’t forget me!”</p><p>“Uncle Sidney,” continued Henry. “And Uncle Arthur.”</p><p>“But we miss Daddy,” said Jenny sadly.</p><p> </p><p>Sidney and Charlotte continued chatting companionably as the children played. Sidney explained a little about Tom’s situation; he had got badly into debt and had to sell his businesses, and the family home had been put up for auction.</p><p>“He began drinking a bit too much,” Sidney said quietly, not wanting the children to overhear. “I guess he was depressed. Still is, really.” He frowned. “He really misses Mary and the kids. When it all blew up, I’d just come back from Kenya, where I’d been working for a year on one of those voluntary teaching schemes. There was a position for a Maths teacher at Sanditon Head, so it made sense to take it.”</p><p>“You got promoted quickly.”</p><p>“Yeah,” he smiled. “I’ve been teaching for 13 years now, so...”</p><p>“What was Kenya like?”</p><p>“Oh, I loved it. I mean, I felt a little like a white saviour, but the skies, the food, the people… it was fantastic. I needed to get away from London and, I know it sounds clichéd, but it really made me appreciate what’s important.” He looked out to sea. “Have you travelled much, Charlotte?”</p><p>“Oh, not much outside Europe. Been inter-railing a few times. We went all over though, Eastern Europe, even parts of Russia, all quite different.”</p><p><em>We?</em> he thought, <em>who’s we?</em></p><p>“Sounds fun.” There was a pause.</p><p>“What about your parents?” asked Charlotte. “Don’t they help out with the children?”</p><p>“Oh.” Sidney looked down sadly. “They um... they were killed in a skiing accident, an avalanche, about ten years ago.”</p><p>Charlotte put her hand to her mouth. “Oh I’m so sorry, Sidney.”</p><p>Sidney. That was the first time she’d used his name in a while.</p><p>He looked up at her and smiled softly. Her big brown eyes were gazing at him sympathetically. “It’s okay. Diana’s a consultant at Brighton General, so she works long hours, and Arthur... well, Arthur’s a law unto himself really. The kids love him but he doesn’t have much responsibility for them.”</p><p>“It’s very good of you Sidney, to take them on like that. Does Tom see them much?”</p><p>“Just the odd afternoon. He’s still findings things, well... difficult.”</p><p>Charlotte suddenly had an idea. “Has Tom ever... talked to someone? Like counselling?”</p><p>Sidney shook his head. “Not that I know of. His doctor put him on anti-depressants for a while, but I don’t think they offered him anything like that.”</p><p>“It’s just...” Charlotte paused, “my flatmate, Esther, she’s studying Psychotherapy and training to become a counsellor, perhaps she could put him in touch with someone she knows? It might help, you never know.”</p><p>Sidney looked deep into her eyes. “That’s really kind of you Charlotte. I guess it’s worth a try.”</p><p>She returned his gaze. Then she remembered something else.</p><p>“Sidney, can I ask you something?”</p><p>“Yes?”</p><p>“Did you... err... say anything to anyone about the incident with Joe Braithwaite? I mean, like, what he said?” She blushed.</p><p>“No, of course not!” Sidney sat up suddenly. “Why would I tell anyone?”</p><p>“Oh, it’s just...” She bit her lip. “Edward said something to me yesterday. Something about...” she swallowed, “boys lusting after me, and it made me wonder how he knew.”</p><p>“Fuck, no!” He banged his fist down on the pebbles, glaring at her, then grimaced and rubbed his fist. Glancing over at the children, he continued speaking more quietly, but still with annoyance.</p><p>“I told Dan Ferrars. I didn't have any choice, but I didn’t give him that much detail. You think I would talk to Edward about something like that? Is that what you really think of me? Yet more assumptions, Charlotte.” He looked away from her, hurt.</p><p>Charlotte struggled to hold back the tears. “Sidney, I didn’t mean it like that. Honestly. I know you... respect me. I just wondered how he could have found out.”</p><p>Sidney shrugged his shoulders. “He’s probably just heard the boys talking amongst themselves. Wouldn’t be surprised if he fucking encourages them.” He looked moodily out to sea.</p><p>“I’m sorry, I’ve offended you,” she said quietly. “I don’t want to fall out with you again, Sidney.”</p><p>Sidney’s dark brown eyes turned slowly towards her. “No Charlotte, neither do I.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>“Charlotte and Sidney” from the Sanditon soundtrack by Ruth Barrett – I love the scene where she’s walking on her own on the beach at the beginning of Episode 8.</p><p>The Sea, The Sea by Iris Murdoch (1978)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Vampire Lovers</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Mostly Esther’s story. Descriptions of psychological and sexual abuse, but not explicit. It starts at “Esther explained that she came from a wealthy, upper class family…”<br/>I wrote this on a hot, muggy night when I was on my own and the foxes were screeching in the garden. I may have had a glass or two of wine... The paragraph right at the end of the chapter is a bit rough. Remember Charlotte’s had a bit to drink too...</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>Charlotte returned to the flat, lost in thought. <em>Why had she said that?</em> It had come out all wrong, and made it sound like she was accusing him of talking about her behind her back. Or worse still, joking about her assets in that “banterish” manner some men had. Sidney was clearly a red-blooded male, but he was in his thirties; she couldn’t imagine him being that coarse and sexist. Especially not with a knob like Edward, who he clearly disliked. Edward must have heard some of the boys talking about her. <em>God, she wondered what they said!</em> Best not to know. Or maybe he’d simply witnessed Sidney dealing with Joe.</p><p>Just when she thought they’d put their misunderstandings behind them and they seemed to be establishing a new-found ease in each other’s company, a new understanding, even a mild flirtation, she’d cocked it all up. Hopefully he would forgive her; at least she had backed down quickly this time. For some reason, it was really important to her. She sighed. As well as being rather sexy, he really was quite lovely; she was astonished that he’d taken on that much responsibility for his nieces and nephew, who clearly adored him. He would make a good dad. <em>Stop, Charlotte!</em> she thought, as dreamy, romantic images began to fill her imagination. Despite his sharp temper and occasional arrogance, he seemed to be a good man, deep down. Definitely a bit of Mr Darcy in him. She smiled at the thought. She’d first read Pride and Prejudice when she was 15 and she’d been looking for Mr Darcy ever since.</p><p>He was still her boss though. Best to put these thoughts to the back of her mind. She pushed open the front door of the flat. A delicious smell greeted her from the kitchen.</p><p>“Hi, Charlotte! You’re just in time!” Esther greeted her. “I’m making soup for lunch. Want some?”</p><p>“Oh thank you, Esther, that would be lovely. I haven’t got much food in, I must go shopping later. You’re sure?”</p><p>“Of course darling, I’ve made tons. I shall freeze some of it. You know, we can always share each other’s food. It makes more sense. Oh, you eat meat though, don’t you?” asked Esther.</p><p>“Yes, but only good quality meat. My parents used to own a dairy farm in Dorset, but they had to sell up. There’s no money in farming these days. My dad now has his own butcher’s shop, but he only sells locally bred or organic meat, plus other stuff. Whenever I eat supermarket rubbish, it just tastes like plastic to me. But I’m happy to eat vegetarian food, Esther.”</p><p>“Come and sit down then, you look cold. Glass of wine?” She held up a bottle of red.</p><p>“No thanks, I need to finish some marking later. Keep a clear head.”</p><p>“Well, I’m going to have one. Or maybe two,” grinned Esther. “I’ve had a busy week.”</p><p>The soup was delicious: courgette and potato with Pecorino cheese and herbs. Esther had bought some crusty bread and cheeses from the local deli, plus olives and salad. Charlotte hadn’t had such a lovely homemade meal in a long time; it reminded her of her mum’s cooking. She’d been so busy these last few weeks, she’d been existing on beans on toast and rapidly concocted pasta dishes.</p><p>“So where have you been?” enquired Esther. “You were a while.”</p><p>“Oh, just walking on the beach,” replied Charlotte, pensively.</p><p>“All that time?”</p><p>“Well, actually…”</p><p>She began to tell Esther about Sidney Parker; how he was one of the guys they'd met in the pub that first weekend; how he’d turned out to be her boss – Esther’s eyes widened in surprise – the various misunderstandings and arguments they’d had, and how today, she’d enjoyed spending time in his company on the beach, and then gone and messed it all up again.</p><p>“You like him, don’t you Charlotte?” Esther tilted her head, smiling her cat-like grin.</p><p>“Oh, not like that! He’s my boss,” replied Charlotte somewhat unconvincingly.</p><p>“Come on, it’s obvious. Is he good-looking?” Esther touched her arm.</p><p>“Well, yes… he’s rather gorgeous actually. But I don’t expect he thinks about me like that.”</p><p>“So that’s why he bought you a coffee and told you his life story?” Esther laughed teasingly.</p><p>Charlotte blushed. “I don’t know. Maybe. But like I said, he’s my boss.”</p><p>“So what?” said Esther. “It happens. I daresay most teachers don’t get any time to go dating. He’s single, you’re single, what does it matter? As long as you keep things professional at work.”</p><p>“I don’t know,” frowned Charlotte. “He’s quite senior and it’s my first job. It would be a bit… unseemly if something happened when I’ve literally only just joined the school.”</p><p>“Yes, I see what you mean. But you do like him?” she teased.</p><p>“Okay, yes, I like him! But now I’ve gone and pissed him off again.” She raised her hands in the air. “I’m such an idiot. Sometimes he makes me so angry, and yet, I seem to really care what he thinks about me.” She put her head in her hands.</p><p>“Wow, you have got it bad,” laughed Esther. “It must be love.”</p><p>Charlotte giggled. “Esther, now you’re jumping the gun!” She paused. “He seems to be a really nice guy though.”</p><p>She told Esther what Sidney had done for Tom and how he regularly looked after his nieces and nephew, without complaint. She explained about Tom’s predicament and that she’d offered Sidney help with finding him counselling.</p><p>“Well, that would get you back in his good books, wouldn’t it?” smiled Esther. “Yes, I’m sure I can arrange something. I’ll speak to my supervisor on Monday. He might have to pay though. It’s virtually impossible to get counselling on the NHS these days, you have to wait months.”</p><p>“I don’t think he has any spare cash,” frowned Charlotte, “but I expect Sidney will help. Or his sister.”</p><p>“What was his name again?” enquired Esther, ready to tap the information into her phone.</p><p>“Tom Parker.”</p><p>“That’s funny,” mused Esther. “That name rings a bell. Let me look.”</p><p>She scrolled down her phone, tapping in a Google search.</p><p>“Oh yes, here it is on Wikipedia. ‘History of Sanditon. Thomas Parker, born in 1775 in Sanditon, was an entrepreneur who, in the early 19<sup>th</sup> century, tried to turn the small village of Sanditon into a fashionable bathing resort. In a bid to rival Brighton and attract London high society, he changed the name of the town from Seatown to Sanditon. However, in the year 1819 there was a great fire that destroyed most of his properties and Thomas Parker lost all his investments. Devastated, he turned to drink and drowned in the sea, seemingly a suicide. Survived by his wife Maria and four young children.’ Oh god, that’s a bit morbid. Spooky. I wonder if they’re related?”</p><p>Charlotte shuddered. “I doubt it. Parker’s a common enough name. Although Sidney did say his family had lived here for generations…”</p><p>They had finished the soup. Esther found some strawberries in the fridge and put them on the table, along with bowls of yogurt. They ate in silence for a while.</p><p>Charlotte put down her spoon and looked at Esther tentatively. “Esther, I was wondering, why did you choose Psychotherapy? What did you mean by ‘exorcising your demons’?”</p><p>Esther stiffened.</p><p>“It’s alright,” Charlotte reassured her, “you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. I don't mean to pry.”</p><p>Esther relaxed a little. “It’s okay, Charlotte. If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that it’s good to talk about these things. No sense in bottling them up. I trust you. You obviously come from a very grounded family. You don’t know how lucky you are really.” There was the hint of tears in her eyes.</p><p>Charlotte put her hand on her arm. “I know I’m lucky. What happened? Was it bad?”</p><p>Esther stood up and got another wine glass out of the cupboard. “Okay, I’ll tell you. But I think you might need that glass of wine.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Esther explained that she came from a wealthy, upper class family and had grown up in London, in Chelsea, attending a private girls’ school as a day pupil. She was an only child. Her mother had died of cancer when she was ten, and her father had remarried when she was 12. Her new stepmother had brought her own son to the family; a boy of 15, named George. George Wickham. He was good-looking and amusing, and she adored him. She developed a slight crush on him. But then things started to turn sour.</p><p>“George knew I liked him, and he played on it,” said Esther quietly, fiddling with a tissue and twisting it as she spoke. “I was young and I’d never been in such close proximity to a boy before, and he took advantage of it. You’re sure you want to hear this?”</p><p>Charlotte looked her in the eyes, calmly. “Yes, if you want to tell me.”</p><p>“Well, you can probably guess. He started to... get closer to me, physically. Just little things. Brushing my hair for me or surprising me in my room when I was getting dressed. I was embarrassed but also a little excited by it. I mean, we weren’t technically related and we hadn’t grown up together. I was at a girls’ school all day long; I’d never had much contact with boys. And I really thought he liked me.”</p><p>“How old were you at this time?” asked Charlotte, concerned.</p><p>“Oh, about 13. He’d touch me when no one was looking, you know, squeeze my hand or touch my knee under the dinner table, playing footsies up my leg, teasing me. But at the same time, his attitude to me changed. The more adoring I became, the colder he was. He’d ignore me in public, or make fun of me. He’d put me down, making me feel this big.” She demonstrated with her finger and thumb. “He used to bring his girlfriends home and kiss them in front of me. I’d get upset and later, when we were alone, he’d say sorry and be all lovey-dovey again. Sometimes he kissed me too. Then, when I was 14 and he was 17, he started coming in my room at night.”</p><p>Charlotte shuddered. “Oh god, Esther...”</p><p>“Don’t worry, darling, he never actually raped me. He knew there were limits. I suppose he was afraid I’d go to my dad, or that I’d get pregnant. But yes, he used to touch me, and he used to make me... you know... use my hand and things like that.”</p><p>Charlotte inhaled sharply. “I’m so sorry, Esther. Did you never tell anyone?”</p><p>“Not at this point, no. He told me it was our little secret, that he loved me, all the usual stuff, you know. Then the next day he’d be cruel to me or ignore me. Typical manipulative, abusive behaviour, as I’ve since found out from my studies.” She exhaled deeply and paused before continuing her story.</p><p>“We lived in a great big house, Charlotte, no one ever bothered us. My stepmum was always out at parties or doing charity stuff and my dad was always working or schmoozing with politicians and other businessmen. We were left to our own devices most of the time. Part of me knew it was wrong, that he didn’t really love me, but I’d just got so... dependent on him, dependent on his approval.” She sighed, dabbing her eyes with her tissue.</p><p>“Then when I was 15, he went off to university. I started making more friends at school and going out to parties. George used to come home in the holidays and he’d start bothering me again. If I was going out or if I mentioned any boys’ names, he’d get angry with me. He didn’t even like me having girlfriends really. We’d argue and he’d tell me I was worthless, I was nothing without him, that my friends didn’t really like me, that I was too ugly and freckly for other boys, that my chest was too flat, and so on. As I said, typical controlling, manipulative behaviour.”</p><p>“God, Esther, you poor thing. I wonder why he was like that?”</p><p>“Well, I’ve done a whole essay on that, but I won’t bore it with you now.” She smiled.</p><p>“So how did you get away from him?”</p><p>“Once he was at uni, I didn’t see him so often and eventually he kind of lost interest in me. After I left school, I got a job in an advertising company and did the usual round of parties us Sloaney types do. Quite debauched affairs. I got into coke as well, I’m ashamed to say. I also...” she looked into her glass of wine, “well I slept around a bit, you know. I didn’t really care. Then, one time when he was home and I was about 20, he was drunk one night and he tried it on with me again.” She paused. “How can I put it? He was very persuasive... I think if I hadn’t stood up to him, he would have... forced me into it.”</p><p>“God,” gasped Charlotte. “How did you stop him?”</p><p>“I told him I was on the rag.” She laughed. “Works every time. I’d had enough by then and I knew what he was saying to me was all lies. I shoved him out of my room and the next day I went to tell my father.”</p><p>“And your parents never suspected anything, all those years?” asked Charlotte, incredulous.</p><p>“Well, I think his mother knew.” Esther sniffed, disgustedly. “But she chose not to see. She thought the sun shone out of his arse. And she never really liked me; I was too plain and too opinionated for her. We clashed on a number of occasions.”</p><p>“But what about your dad?”</p><p>“Oh, he was oblivious. And he didn’t want to go against my stepmum. He never really had much time for me, unfortunately. I confronted him and told him about George’s behaviour and basically he told me I was a lying, snivelling little cow and if I didn’t like it there, I could move out. So I did. I went to stay with a friend and eventually I told her bits of what had happened. She encouraged me to go to a therapist and it really helped. I moved down to Sanditon two years ago after I decided I wanted to spend my life listening to other people’s problems. So that’s me, your archetypal poor little rich girl.” She smiled sadly.</p><p>“Did you ever – think about going to the police?” Charlotte asked.</p><p>“Yes… I did, but honestly, darling, what would have happened? Maybe if my parents had believed me. Otherwise it was his word against mine. And I’d have had to go over the whole thing, multiple times. Initially I just wanted to block it all out and forget about it. The counselling I’ve had has really helped, but I don’t see the point in going to the police now.”</p><p>“Thank you for telling me all that, Esther,” said Charlotte. “It must have been really difficult.”</p><p>“Oh darling, I’ve told it so many times now, it’s like telling a story that happened to someone else. Well, almost.”</p><p>“Have you never seen George since?”</p><p>“Nope. Nor my father. He sends me money every month, but not a lot.”</p><p>“God. How sad.”</p><p> </p><p>There was a long pause as Esther dried her eyes. They had been working their way through the bottle of wine as they’d talked and it was now 4 o'clock in the afternoon.</p><p>“Esther,” said Charlotte, leaning forward, “can I tell you something weird that happened to me yesterday?”</p><p>“Oh god, what now?” laughed Esther. You seem to have had a lot of strange things happen to you since you came to Sanditon!”</p><p>Charlotte smiled. “It didn’t happen to me, it was just something I heard. At school.”</p><p>She told Esther about walking past the Music department and the strange noises coming from the cupboard. About Edward and Clara coming into the staffroom, obviously flustered.</p><p>Esther burst out laughing. “Oh god, sorry Charlotte, but that’s kind of funny. In a cupboard?! What were they thinking?”</p><p>“I really don’t know,” grinned Charlotte, “but he’s married...” – Esther gasped – “so I guess they don’t have many opportunities. And, to be fair, it’s quite a big cupboard. It’s where they store all the musical instruments. I think there’s even a double bass in there.”</p><p>Esther shrieked. “Could you hear the strings vibrating? Ew, seriously Charlotte, that’s a bit gross though isn’t it? Fucking in a cupboard? I suppose some people like the thrill of it, the danger of being caught.”</p><p>“Yes,” nodded Charlotte, “I mean, what if one of the cleaners had heard them? It’s strange though, I thought Clara was nice at first. She’s a quiet person and ever so talented. But she doesn’t seem to like me any more, because Edward keeps trying to flirt with me as well.”</p><p>Esther rolled her eyes. “You know what, Charlotte, he sounds a bit like my stepbrother.”</p><p>“He gives me the creeps. Sidney doesn’t like him either.”</p><p>“Oh Sidney, Sidney!” Esther smiled. “Let’s talk about him instead. Much finer figure of a man. Tell me some more about him. What does he look like?”</p><p>Charlotte smiled at Esther, who was opening another bottle of wine, pouring them both a glass. A new friendship had been formed.</p><p>An hour or so later, Charlotte was yawning and had a slight headache. She decided to go and have a lie down to freshen herself up before starting her marking. Throwing off some of her clothes and lying on the bed, the room spinning slightly, a myriad of images invaded her brain. Foremost among them was Sidney, smiling at her on the beach, his long legs stretched on the pebbles, throwing stones into the sea, their hands briefly touching as he handed over her coffee. Behind these sweet thoughts were other, darker images that had crowded into her brain that week and that afternoon, listening to Esther's story. She tried to shut them out of her mind, closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep.</p><p>
  <strong>  </strong>
</p><p>Charlotte was in a cupboard. A dark cupboard. With Sidney. His white shirt was fully unbuttoned and she could see his strong, muscly torso, dark hairs trailing all over it. He was holding her head, moving closer towards her. He began to kiss her hungrily, his tongue pushing inside her mouth. His lips tasted smoky and metallic; she could feel the rough stubble on his chin and smell his musky scent. He moved his hands down to her shoulders then took hold of her blouse and ripped it so that her breasts were free. He pushed himself closer towards her; through his trousers she could feel his hardness pressing against her thigh. He grabbed one breast in each hand and kneaded them forcefully. Suddenly, he turned her round and pushed her forward against the shelves so she was bending over. Whipping up her skirt and holding firmly onto her waist with one hand, he unbuttoned himself with the other. Grabbing the crotch of her knickers and pushing it to one side, he thrust deep inside her. Pounding urgently, he moved his hand to the back of her neck, grasping it firmly. He was grabbing her hair and pulling on it as he panted above her. The metal shelves were digging into her stomach and her forehead but she couldn’t move away. She tried to struggle but he pushed her further into the shelves and thrust even deeper and faster. His grunts sounded strange. She was starting to panic. He moved his head closer to hers and sneered in her ear, ‘Come on, you know you want it...’ She turned her head to the side to get a look at him. But it wasn’t Sidney. It was Edward.</p><p>Charlotte woke up with a start, sweating.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Vampire Lovers by Ruth Barrett, Sanditon soundtrack</p><p>NHS is our wonderful National Health Service. But yeah, more investment in mental health services, please. More investment full stop!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Brighton Rock</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Hurrah, back to Sidney...<br/>And we find out more about what happened to Tom…<br/>Gets a little steamy at the end… nice steamy… absolutely not involving Tom :)</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>Sidney and Tom were sitting in the living room of Sidney’s semi-detached, three-bedroom house on the outskirts of Sanditon. After spending the afternoon in the park with their dad, the children were playing upstairs in their bedrooms. Sidney could hear their laughter trailing down the stairs. He and Tom were having a cup of tea and a chat, as it would be soon be time for Tom to go back to the pub to start his shift at 7pm.</p><p>Sidney had always had an uneasy relationship with his brother, his elder by eight years. Tom had left school at 16 and done a hotels and catering apprenticeship, before joining his parents’ businesses in Sanditon. At the time, their parents owned a guesthouse, a pub and a café on the seafront. Sidney, meanwhile, was clearly more academic and his parents knew from an early age that he would excel. Diana, too, was fiercely intelligent and independent, so no one was surprised when she announced she was applying for medical school. Arthur was the baby of the family and only 18 when their parents were killed in a skiing accident in France. He had gone off the rails a bit, taking ecstasy and popping pills, and become a regular on the Brighton club scene, although in recent years he had calmed down a little and now had a job as an IT technician.</p><p>On their parents’ death, although the money from the sale of their house was divided equally, it seemed to make sense for Tom to continue running their three businesses, as Sidney had never shown any interest in the trade. By this time Tom had married Mary, a local girl who worked as a receptionist, and she was pregnant with their first child. Tom, however, had not inherited his father’s nose for business, or his mother’s work ethic. He was a bit of a dreamer; always full of ideas for the next big thing that would make them money and establish their reputation. Not all of these ideas worked. He lost money on his gambles, falling further and further into debt. Stupidly, he borrowed some money from a local loan shark, Stan Beecroft, and was still paying it back, even now. Beecroft liked to think of himself as a bit of a modern-day Colleoni. He owned a few bars and clubs in Brighton, Sanditon and other local towns and it was rumoured he was involved in trafficking young girls, mostly from Eastern Europe.</p><p>Eventually, the day came when Tom ran out of money and was forced to sell the businesses and declare himself bankrupt. Their house was repossessed and Mary, at the end of her tether, and with three small children to look after, announced she was leaving him. Diana, who had a position as a consultant gynaecologist at Brighton General Hospital, offered her and the children a place to live, and they were still there, four years later. Together with Diana’s partner, Susan, a freelance journalist, they created an unusual but stable home for the three young children.</p><p>Tom, however, was not so lucky. Beecroft had won the bid for Tom’s pub at auction and, in a rare gesture of magnanimity, offered Tom a job in the pub and a small flat above it. For a price of course. Tom was grateful but, in truth, it was a kind of slavery. The pub swiftly went downhill and began to attract some unsavoury types, as Beecroft installed his fancy woman, Brenda Harries, to rule over the bar and launder his ill-gotten gains under the table. Tom’s debt situation was complex and he had begun drinking more than was good for him.</p><p>Sidney and Tom had never really fallen out, but they had little in common; he'd always got on best with his sister Diana, who'd been something of a mother figure to him, and certainly to Arthur, after their parents died. Tom envied Sidney his intelligence, his success and his luck with women. Sidney felt for Tom, but thought him weak and unable to see that he was the cause of his own problems. Mary was a sweet woman and she didn’t deserve to be dragged down with him. Although she had refused to meet Tom socially for some years now, she had not yet filed for divorce.</p><p>When Tom had gone bankrupt and his marriage had broken up, Sidney had been volunteering out in Kenya, having previously lived in London with his now ex-wife, Eliza. He hadn't lived in Sanditon for years and wasn’t really up to date with all the goings-on, so he was shocked when he found out the extent of Tom’s ruin and despair. After he secured the job at Sanditon Head and quickly bought a house, he had briefly considered offering Tom a room but, although he sometimes felt guilty about not doing so, that was a step too far. He needed his own space and, besides, he was already acting as a weekend dad to Tom’s adorable children. Not to mention the fact that Tom frequently asked him for money, even now.</p><p>Sidney sipped his tea and looked out of the window into the garden, where dusk was falling. He noticed Tom was looking tired and, when he placed his mug on the low table, his hands were shaking a little.</p><p> </p><p>“Everything alright, Tom? You seem a bit worn out.”</p><p>“Oh, you know, Sidney. Same as ever. Back to work soon with that bloody woman. Can’t say I’m looking forward to it.”</p><p>“You could always try getting another job, Tom. You don’t have to work there, you know.”</p><p>“Who else would have me, Sidney? What use am I? It’s alright for you...”</p><p>“Let’s not start that again, Tom. You’ve got to start thinking to the future. I know you’ve still got debts to pay, but you can’t wallow in your own misery forever. You’ve got three gorgeous children upstairs and they want their dad back.” Sidney spoke in earnest. He’d been thinking about this for a while but his conversation with Charlotte had spurred him into stating some home truths.</p><p>Tom looked down at the floor. “I know, Sidney. I miss being with them. And I miss Mary too. More than you could imagine. It’s just hard some days to know where to start.”</p><p>Sidney paused and leaned forward in his chair. “Tom. Have you ever thought about talking to someone? You know, counselling. Has your doctor suggested it?”</p><p>“Counselling? No, not really. Well, they referred me a few years ago, when I was really bad, but the waiting list was so long, I gave up in the end.”</p><p>“Maybe we could arrange it for you now, Tom. What do you think?”</p><p>“How would we do that? I’d have to pay. You know I can’t afford it.”</p><p>Sidney paused again. “Look, don’t worry about the money. Di and I can sort that out. I was talking to err... Charlotte, earlier, and she mentioned that she has a friend who’s a therapist or something at Brighton University and offered to see if she could arrange something.”</p><p>Tom was taken aback. “You’d really do that? You think it’s a good idea?”</p><p>“Yes, Tom. Something needs to change.” Sidney sat back in his chair. They sat in silence for a while.</p><p> </p><p>Tom looked up, grinning. “Charlotte, eh? The kids told me about her.”</p><p>“What did they say?” asked Sidney, nonchalant as ever.</p><p>“They said she was young, pretty and an expert at skimming stones.”</p><p>Sidney smiled.</p><p>“Is she then, Sid? Is she pretty?”</p><p>Sidney stroked his chin. “Yes. Actually, she’s gorgeous.” He paused and looked out of the window. “But, she’s a teacher at my school, Tom, and there is a purely professional relationship between us.”</p><p>“Right, Sid,” he grinned, “I believe you.”</p><p> </p><p>*************************************</p><p> </p><p>Later that evening, the kids fed and in bed, and Tom back at the pub, Sidney was tidying up the kitchen. A weekend dad, he thought. With all the responsibilities, and of course the fun, but they weren’t even his kids. He’d always wanted children but sometimes he wondered if he ever would. Eliza hadn’t been keen on the idea at the time, which he was now relieved about. The thought of being tied to her for the whole of his life, or the whole of a child’s life, made him feel sick inside. No, he’d got away from that relationship with his independence intact, even if his ego had been bruised. He’d spent his adult life going from woman to woman, never putting down roots, never really falling in love, not even with Eliza if truth were told. Since moving back to Sanditon four years ago, he could count on one hand the number of women who’d been in his bed and in fact, he’d been living like a monk for well over a year.</p><p>He switched on the dishwasher and went to the bathroom to clean his teeth. No beer and TV tonight, he wasn’t in the mood, he was tired. Maybe he’d have another go at Jane Eyre. He hadn’t admitted it to Charlotte, but he was finding it quite tough to read. He stripped off his clothes, threw them on the floor, and climbed under the covers. He didn’t usually wear anything in bed this time of year. Picking up the book, he skimmed a few paragraphs. Rochester and Jane were talking by the fire. The Victorian language was obscure and by the time he got to the end of the paragraph, he wasn’t sure what he’d actually read. Charlotte must be very clever if she really understood all this.</p><p>Charlotte. He put the book down and laid back against the pillows. Images of Charlotte came into his mind. Charlotte skimming the stones and laughing with the children. Charlotte sipping her coffee, sitting only a few inches from him, smiling at him in that cheeky way of hers. Charlotte looking at him with concern as he told her about his parents, and about Tom. He sighed deeply. He had to admit, he liked her. He really liked her. It wasn’t just her looks. Yes, she exuded a natural sexiness and she had a great body, but somehow that wasn’t what came into his mind right now. He thought of her expressive eyes and her lovely face. Her cute little nose and her gorgeous hair. And she seemed to like him too. More than that, she seemed to be interested in him, to really want to listen to what he said. She seemed to care.</p><p>He wonders what she’s doing now. Maybe she’s lying in bed, reading. Maybe she’s thinking about him. He imagines her lying in bed beside him. She puts down her book and turns towards him, smiling. She’s naked. She puts her arms round him and leans against his chest. He holds her close, gently stroking her back. His hands move down to her bum. She looks up at him and smiles and he kisses her. Gently at first, rubbing noses, then more deeply, hungrily. She tastes exquisite. He can smell the sea salt in her hair. He feels his cock stiffen and moves his hand down to stroke it. He’s still stroking her arse and kissing her. He can’t get enough of her. She sits up and shifts herself on top of him, gazing into his eyes and smiling sexily at him. As she lowers herself down on his cock, she throws her head back and moans softly. He can see her collarbone protruding, her messy hair tumbling around her shoulders. She’s so beautiful. She moves faster and faster, her breasts bouncing up and down. She leans forward, her hair falling across her face and touching his, while her breast gently brushes against his mouth. He opens his mouth hungrily and sucks her nipple. She moans. He can’t hold back any longer. This time, he gives in.</p><p> </p><p>***********************************************</p><p> </p><p>The next morning, Sidney was woken by the sun streaming through the window. He could hear the sounds of the children, talking and laughing in their bedrooms. It wouldn’t be long before they came running along the landing, jumping on his bed, demanding to be fed. He felt curiously relaxed, as if he’d slept for ten hours. He remembered what he’d done last night before falling asleep and chuckled softly. But he felt a little guilty. He shouldn’t really think about her like that. He felt a bit like he’d used her, like some girl in a magazine or on a website. If she knew that’s how he viewed her, she’d be on her high horse again, accusing him of objectifying her.</p><p>He sighed. Did it matter? He wasn’t going to do anything about it, and anyway, he didn’t think about her like that all the time. He liked her; she was fun; he liked talking to her. He couldn’t help it if her tits and her arse drove him wild. Maybe it was better this way. He badly, badly wanted her, he realised, but he couldn’t have her. She’d only been at the school three weeks, for God’s sake, and it was her first teaching job. He was supposed to set an example and be the ultimate professional. Even if... if... something happened, it couldn’t happen yet. Perhaps... if he... well, thought about her sometimes, if he really needed to, that would give him some release and he could deal with her in a professional way at work. That way he wouldn’t be mentally undressing her every time he saw her, wondering what colour underwear she was wearing. It would be nice to get to know her first, before jumping into bed with her. Presuming she even felt the same way. Did she?</p><p>Sidney’s thoughts were brusquely interrupted as the door burst open and Henry ran into the room, leaping on the bed. “Sidney, I’m huuuuuuungry!!” he shouted.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Brighton Rock by Graham Greene (1938) - love the book and the film, especially the 2010 film with Sam Riley. He plays Pinkie the teenage gangster, whose nemesis is Colleoni, the leader of a rival gang.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. The woman in the café</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Bradley returns to Sanditon (hooray!) and has a delicious encounter in a café.</p><p>And Charlotte tells Edward where to stick it.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>Term 1 flew by and September turned into October, the leaves began to fall from the trees, the wind picked up on the seafront, the waves got rougher and dusk began to fall earlier and earlier. Charlotte was settling in well to her new job and thoroughly enjoying it. She had the occasional discipline problem, but even the recalcitrant Year 10 class were starting to come round. Joe Braithwaite had not given her any serious trouble since that early incident, although it was hard to engage his interest in the lessons; he just sat at the back of the class, staring out of the window most of the time. But at least he wasn’t constantly winding up the other students, some of whom were responding to her well. One of them had even caught her after class one day and told her that she never used to like English, but now she was really enjoying it. Charlotte had experienced a warm glow. This was the reason she had decided to become a teacher.</p><p>Following Esther’s brave confessions, she and Charlotte became firm friends and regularly went out together in Sanditon and Brighton. She even took Charlotte along to a social event at her university, as she was a little shy about attending it on her own. Georgie, meanwhile, kept in regular contact with Charlotte and was doing very well at work. Her relationship with Otis was still a little up and down, but Charlotte was used to this by now. They seemed to have a strong attachment, even though they had quite different personalities; he was rather laidback and dreamy, while she was fiery and passionate about many different causes.</p><p> </p><p>Since the Music cupboard incident, Charlotte had fortunately not witnessed any more on-site shenanigans between Edward and Clara, although it was clear something was still going on between them. On more than one occasion, she saw Clara get into his BMW after school; presumably they had decided that doing it on the premises was not such a wise idea. Charlotte recoiled at the thought that they might be parked up in some quiet spot, doing it in his car, before he drove home to his wife and family. Clara still kept her distance from Charlotte, and Charlotte avoided going to the Crown on a Friday night if Edward and Clara were going to be there.</p><p>Although Edward hardly ever spoke to her these days, she often caught him staring at her in the staffroom, quite unashamedly looking her up and down, checking out her breasts or her legs. It made her feel uncomfortable but it was difficult to know what to say when all he did was stare. He also had a habit of hanging around the staffroom after school, drinking tea, and on one occasion towards the end of term she realised that only the two of them were still there. Clara had gone home. Looking across, she noticed he was twiddling his pen and checking his phone, not really concentrating on the books in front of him. She decided to pack up for the night and take her lesson prep home with her. She walked over to her locker, which was on the lower level, bending down to get her books out. As she straightened up, she felt Edward’s presence behind her.</p><p>“Excuse me, Charlotte, I need to get to my locker,” he smiled greasily, leaning over her. As he did so, he gently brushed his hand against her bum. She turned round and swiftly elbowed him in the stomach.</p><p>“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” she spat at him, furious.</p><p>“What do you mean?” he smiled innocently. “I wasn’t doing anything.”</p><p>“You touched me!”</p><p>“Merely an accident, darling. Keep your knickers on. Though I’m sure you always do.”</p><p>“What do you mean by that?” she almost shouted, shaking. “Edward, if you ever… if you ever come near me again like that, I’m going straight to…” She paused.</p><p>“To my aunt?” he raised an eyebrow.</p><p>“… to Mr Parker,” she continued.</p><p>Edward laughed mockingly. “Mr Parker? Mr Parker! Oh yes, I’m sure he’d be up for it! Not that you’d ever let him near you, you little prick tease.”</p><p>“Edward, I’m warning you,” she said quietly. “Fuck. Off. Isn’t Clara enough for you?”</p><p>“Clara?” he raised an eyebrow. “At least Clara doesn’t lead men on, like you do. Don’t worry, Charlotte, I wouldn’t go near your arse anyway, it’s too fat. And you should really try brushing your hair now and again. Goodnight.”</p><p>He left the staffroom, leaving Charlotte shaking with rage. Once home, she told Esther all about the incident, but they both agreed it was best to keep it to herself for now, unless he tried it again. Luckily, after that evening, he turned rather cold and distant towards her, much to her relief.</p><p> </p><p>As for Sidney, their early misunderstandings and clashes appeared to have been resolved by the time they’d spent together on the beach that Saturday morning. He seemed to have forgiven her for suggesting he’d spilled the beans to Edward; it was never mentioned again. Their weekly meetings on Friday afternoons were friendly and professional, and she always looked forward to them with nervous anticipation. However, they did not meet again outside school and, while he was always charming and jokey with her, he seemed to be keeping more of a distance. She couldn’t help but feel slightly disappointed. Occasionally, she would notice him looking at her, not in any sort of lecherous way, more with a quiet admiration. She would also sneak glances at him when she hoped he wasn’t looking, admiring his fit physique and perfectly symmetrical face, his strong arms and gentle hands, and the way his Adam’s apple pulsed when he was thinking about something. Looking into his deep brown eyes, however, seemed to unbalance her somehow; she would lose the train of her thoughts or the thread of their discussion. She would lie in bed at night, alone, thinking about those eyes, imagine them gazing adoringly at her, sigh, turn the light off, and go to sleep, sometimes not always immediately.</p><p>She had given Sidney the details of a counselling service for Tom and, as far as she knew, it was going well. He would occasionally tell her what was going on with Tom and the children, who apparently often said they would love to meet her again. But he never invited her to do so.</p><p>Towards the end of October, the school broke up for a week’s half-term holiday. Charlotte did not really have the time or the money to travel to Dorset to visit her family and anyway, the trains to the South West coast were frequently unreliable. Instead she spent a few days with Georgie in London, chatting, going out in the evenings and enjoying being back in the Big Smoke, although when the visit came to an end she was curiously happy to be travelling back to Sanditon.</p><p> </p><p>********************************************</p><p> </p><p>Sidney was relieved when Term 1 came to an end; he was exhausted. Juggling his Maths classes with his SLT responsibilities, driving back and forth to Brighton to pick up the children and see his sister and Mary, frequent chats with Tom about his counselling and his tentative plans for the future: all this meant he ended up with very little time for himself. At weekends, he was usually catching up on work; his only outlet was to get out on his bike, although as the weather turned colder and wetter, this was becoming less of a possibility. He continued riding to school most days, in a bid to keep up some sort of fitness, and occasionally he used the machines in the gym at school, as there was no decent gym in Sanditon.</p><p>He was pleased that he and Charlotte had become, if not quite friends, at least close colleagues, and he looked forward to their weekly meetings eagerly. She was developing into a very competent teacher and was clearly popular among the students for her youthful, current attitude and deep interest in her subject. When she was talking about her classes and the texts they were studying, her eyes would light up with enthusiasm, and he would simply stop and watch her expressive gestures, almost losing track of what she was saying. He still thought about her when he was in bed alone at night, but he tried not to let his imagination run too wild. He would have loved to meet her on the beach again, have another coffee and chat with her, swap cheeky jokes, skim stones and find out a bit more about her, but he wasn’t quite sure how to approach it. He could hardly ask her out.</p><p> </p><p>He spent most of the half-term holiday catching up on paperwork, ferrying the kids around and getting out on his bike on fine days. The final weekend before the return to school, Bradley was down in Sanditon again, visiting his mum. He couldn’t go out with Sidney on Saturday night as his mum had a social event with her crocheting club, and she needed him to take her and pick her up, but he and Sidney had arranged to meet in one of Sanditon’s nicer cafés, The Lighthouse, for a coffee and a light lunch on Saturday afternoon.</p><p>They sat down with their drinks and club sandwiches at one of the small formica tables by the window, Sidney facing the window and Bradley with a view of the café. As they sat down, a few spots of rain began to spatter on the windows.</p><p>“So, Sid, how’s it going? How’s work?”</p><p>“Oh, you know me, Brad, never a moment’s peace. Busy. You?”</p><p>“Good. Our case in Newham is coming on really well, we might have a chance, you never know.”</p><p>“Great!”</p><p>Bradley was acting as legal adviser on a people-led campaign in East London against what the local residents considered to be the “social cleansing” of their housing estates; moving them out to council accommodation in other parts of the country to make way for the building of desirable residences. Gentrification, they called it.</p><p>“How’s Tom doing? He wasn’t looking that good last time I saw him.”</p><p>“Oh, not too bad,” replied Sidney. “Well, nothing’s really changed in his situation, but he’s started having counselling sessions in Brighton. Seems to be going well. Charlotte suggested it.”</p><p>“Oh, Charlotte! She sounds like an angel, Sidney. You haven’t mentioned her in a while though. What’s been going on?” Bradley grinned mischievously. Sidney had previously explained to him about the woman from the King’s Head turning up at his school, and how she confounded and delighted him in equal measure.</p><p>Sidney smiled wistfully. “She’s fine. Coming along really well. Great teacher.”</p><p>“I’m not asking about her teaching abilities, man!” Bradley teased. “Have you got any closer to her since that day on the beach?”</p><p>Sidney looked down at his coffee. “No, we haven’t really… um… seen each other outside school since then. She was really helpful about Tom though.”</p><p>Bradley laughed again. “Sid, I can tell when you’re not being honest with me. You were raving about her a month or so ago. Do you still think about her?”</p><p>Sidney sighed. “Yeah, I do. Quite a lot, actually.” He looked downcast as he swirled the liquid in the cup. “If I’m honest, every day. I can’t get her out of my mind.”</p><p>“Why would you want to, if she’s as lovely as you say? Tell her. Ask her out. Life’s too short! Christ, Sid, you’ve never been shy on that score before. What’s stopping you?”</p><p>Sidney looked him in the eye. “Brad, she’s a new teacher at my school, I’m… basically her boss. She’s only been there one term. I can’t just go… sniffing round the skirts of every attractive female that turns up in my office. What if I ask her out and she says no? Then she’ll see me as some kind of slimeball and she might worry that rejecting me will negatively affect her position at work.”</p><p>“But what if she says yes? You said you got on well that day on the beach, that she joked with you about moody bastards needing to be loved, or something.”</p><p>“Same thing. People will gossip. They’ll say she’s doing it to further her career. It won’t be fair on her. Or what if doesn’t work out and she goes all crazy on me like Sarah did?” He grimaced. “I don’t want to go through that again.”</p><p>“No, you certainly don’t,” agreed Bradley. “But that would be unlucky wouldn’t it, twice at the same school? Charlotte doesn't sound a bit like Sarah.”</p><p>“I guess not. She’s younger than me though. Maybe she deserves someone with less baggage.”</p><p>“What is she, 26? Only nine years.”</p><p>“Thanks for reminding me.”</p><p>“How would you describe her, Sid?” Bradley asked musingly.</p><p>Sidney paused, his sandwich halfway to his mouth.</p><p>“She’s funny, she’s smart, she’s kind and she’s beautiful, I guess.”</p><p>Bradley chuckled with delight. “Sounds like the perfect woman!”</p><p>“She can also be quite infuriating at times,” countered Sidney. “But somehow that makes me want her more.”</p><p>Bradley smiled. “Good god man, you <em>have </em>got it bad. If I had a woman like that interested in me – to be fair, if I had <em>any</em> woman interested in me – I wouldn’t hesitate. You’d better think of a way round this, Sid.”</p><p> </p><p>Just then, the door of the café swung open and a tall, slender woman swept inside, carrying a large bag over her shoulder. By now the rain was pelting against the windows and as the Lighthouse was on the seafront, the rain was mixed with sea spray. The woman was only wearing a thin jacket and had a long scarf draped over her head and shoulders to protect her from the weather.</p><p>Dumping her bag on a chair at the table in front of them, she went up to the counter and placed her order. Sitting down facing the window, she removed the scarf from her head and shook out a long mane of slightly wet auburn hair. She then took a large pile of books and papers out of her bag, which she began to study in a concentrated manner.</p><p>“Sidney,” whispered Bradley, “Don’t look now, but there’s the most exquisite creature sitting right behind you.”</p><p>Sidney began to turn round. “No, stop!” hissed Bradley. “She’s looking up.”</p><p>The waiter came over to the woman’s table and placed a bowl of pasta, a glass of juice and a mug of steaming hot tea on the table. She looked up, smiled and thanked him, then continued studying, fork in her right hand, idly chewing on the pasta from time to time.</p><p>“Now,” whispered Bradley, “look now.”</p><p>Sidney slowly turned his head and took a peek at the young woman sitting at the table behind him. She looked up sharply, giving him a frosty glare.</p><p>“Uh oh, I think she saw me,” he said in a low voice. “Looks a bit scary if you ask me.”</p><p>“Oh, I don’t know,” mused Bradley, “there’s a certain… vulnerability about her I think.”</p><p>“Wow, when did you turn all poetic?” laughed Sidney.</p><p> </p><p>Esther snorted to herself. As if she hadn’t heard them whispering about her, trying to sneak a glimpse when they thought she wasn’t looking. But they seemed harmless. The one with his back to her looked familiar somehow. She’d already noticed that the other man, slightly chubbier and not quite so classically handsome, was having difficulty taking his eyes off her. She glanced up and he looked away, reddening. He had a kind, open face though, she thought, and wasn’t bad-looking really.</p><p>The men finished their food and Bradley went up to the counter to pay. On the way back, he brushed past the woman’s table, accidentally knocking one of her files onto the floor. He quickly gathered it up, the papers becoming somewhat disordered, and handed them back to her. He noticed the Brighton University logo on the file.</p><p>“I’m sorry, forgive me,” he stammered, straightening up.</p><p>The woman nodded. She didn’t smile or make any reply.</p><p>“I take it you’re a student then?” he offered, smiling nervously.</p><p>“Yes,” the woman replied, her features entirely devoid of any reaction. She gave him a piercing look. “And I’m really rather busy.”</p><p>Bradley made his excuses and went back to sit with Sidney.</p><p>“That went well then,” smirked Sidney.</p><p>Bradley leaned conspiratorially across the table. “Sid, she is exquisite. Deliciously disdainful!” He chuckled. “Not that I’d ever have a cat in hell’s chance, of course. But I never knew such women existed in Sanditon.”</p><p>The two friends left the café and went their separate ways.</p><p> </p><p>Later that night, after yet another TV dinner, Sidney lay in bed pondering. It was two months now since he’d first set eyes on Charlotte, and he still couldn’t get her out of his head. Somehow this week, not seeing her every day at school had made it even worse. He wondered what she’d been up to during the holidays, whether she’d been away. Every time he’d been out shopping in town, or with the kids on the beach, he’d kept looking around, hoping she might just turn up out of the blue, as she had done so many times in the past. But now that he really wanted to bump into her, she was nowhere to be seen. Sidney sighed. Fucking hell. He missed her. Brad was right; he had got it bad.</p><p>Didn’t he deserve to be happy? He’d spent three pretty miserable years trapped in a marriage with Eliza, unable to really be himself or do the things he wanted to do, then he’d suddenly got railroaded into taking on most of his family’s responsibilities. He spent every other weekend looking after kids that weren’t his, and half his salary – or at least it felt like it sometimes – went to Tom to pay off his debts. He’d had to take a job at his old school for Christ’s sake – something he’d sworn he’d never do – and buy this shitty house that he didn’t even like, just because it was cheap and he needed to find somewhere fast. He couldn’t afford a new bike and he couldn’t remember the last time he’d been on a proper holiday.</p><p>At least if he had someone like Charlotte – someone bright and funny, kind and caring – things wouldn’t be so bad. At least he’d have someone to talk to, to support him. To hold him at night and wake up with him in the morning. Sidney sighed. He had no idea if she wanted any of that; as he’d said to Brad, who would want to take him on with all his baggage? She was young, she was beautiful, she could have anyone she chose. But a small spark of hope burned inside him. The way she looked at him sometimes when she thought he wasn’t looking. The way she smiled at him, the way her eyes twinkled, those cheeky grins she gave him. The way, that day on the beach, she’d actually seemed to be interested in his family’s sad story and the way she’d immediately thought of a solution to help Tom.</p><p>Perhaps... perhaps he could try to engineer a meeting between them. Not a date as such, maybe something in the daytime with the kids. She seemed to love the kids. They could go to the beach again, or to the park. They could sit in a café and chat, if Henry would leave them in peace. If it went well, he could invite her back for dinner. And who knows what might happen then...? Sidney sighed. Maybe he was jumping the gun. He just wanted a bit of time to get to know her, and for her to know him. Then they could see what might happen in the future.</p><p>He turned off the bedside light, rolled over and closed his eyes, imagining her lying there in his arms, sleeping peacefully.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Tom’s Diner by Suzanne Vega (1987)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Behind the bike sheds</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>In which Sidney reverts to being a teenager again...</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span class="u">Part 2 – Getting closer</span>
</p><p>
  <span class="u">November – December 2019</span>
</p><p> </p><p>Monday 1 November. Start of the new term. Charlotte decided to go in extra early as she had a busy day ahead of her and there was a lot to prepare. As she walked along the seafront in the direction of the school, the wind was low and the sea was fairly calm, but there was a cold bite in the air that seemed to have got colder over the last week. She gathered her coat around her tightly. It was still quite dark and there was no sign of the sun as the sky was covered with grey clouds.</p><p>At 7.30am, she walked through the gates of the school. She was just coming up the main driveway past the car park, near the bike racks, when a bicycle came whizzing up behind her, shaking her out of her reverie. It was Sidney, who slammed on his brakes and stopped next to her, grinning.</p><p>“Oh, Sidney, you made me jump! I didn’t hear you coming,” she laughed breathlessly.</p><p>“Sorry, Charlotte, I didn’t mean to surprise you like that. I just wanted to say hello.” He climbed off his bike and undid his helmet, hanging it on the handlebars while he ran his hand through his hair. His hair looked neater, thought Charlotte, he must have had it cut. He was in casual clothes; dark joggers and a jacket. She’d seen him dressed like that before and assumed he changed into his suit in his office. She gave him a broad smile.</p><p>“Well, hello, Mr Parker. How are you? Good half-term?”</p><p>“Yeah, not bad. Usual stuff. Catching up on work, looking after the kids, went out with Brad a couple of times. You? Didn’t see you around, thought you might have gone back to Willingden?” he enquired nonchalantly.</p><p><em>Wow, he’d remembered the name of her village!</em> She smiled.</p><p>“No, I didn’t actually, it’s a long way by train and I didn’t really have time. I’ll be going there at Christmas. I went up to London for a few days, to see Georgie.”</p><p>“Oh I see. Don’t you drive then, Charlotte?”</p><p>“No, I’d like to but I never learned. Mum and Dad couldn’t afford to pay for lessons for six children, and since I left home I’ve always lived in big cities, so I’ve never really needed to.”</p><p>“So, how’s Georgie? That’s your um... friend from the pub, isn’t it?” He looked slightly embarrassed.</p><p>“Yes.” She smiled. “We’ll never forget that incident, will we? I've told her that Sanditon really isn’t all that bad. But she’s too busy with her life in London to come down to the sticks.”</p><p>“So, did you go out much? You know, up in town? With er... friends?” He looked at her sideways, running his hands through his hair again. Was he being too obvious?</p><p>“Yeah. We went to a few bars, to the cinema, you know, nothing crazy. Although I was playing third wheel most of the time to her and Otis.”</p><p>“Otis. That’s her boyfriend I take it? Does he work in publishing too?”</p><p>“God, no,” laughed Charlotte. “I can’t ever imagine him doing a job like that. They’re quite different, you see. She’s all career-driven and focused and won’t take no for an answer, whereas he...” she drifted off dreamily, “How can I put it? He’s very dreamy and creative and she gets constantly frustrated with him, because half the time he doesn’t want to get out of bed. Well,” she giggled, “of course she doesn’t really mind that, but it’s hard to get him motivated some days. He’s a model you see, and an actor, though I think he’s only done commercials, so he’s not always working. But they seem to really love each other so, you know,” she shrugged.</p><p>“Wow,” said Sidney. “He sounds like quite the guy. What’s he like? Maybe I’ve seen him on TV.”</p><p>“Well,” replied Charlotte, “Physically, he’s... a god. He’s 6 feet 5, very fit, black. I think he was in an Adidas commercial not long ago.”</p><p><em>Hmmm,</em> thought Sidney. <em>Better not have any friends. I can’t compete with gods. Change the subject.</em></p><p>
  
</p><p>While she’d been mooning over Otis, the god, he’d discreetly looked her up and down. She was wearing a dark blue winter coat but he could glimpse the hem of her black skirt just below it, while her slender calves were encased in sheer black tights. Or stockings. No, tights. Women these days didn’t get dressed up like 1940s starlets to go to work. As usual, she was wearing trainers to walk to school, then she’d change into her flat shoes later. He looked up at her face; she didn’t seem to have any make-up on, maybe a touch of mascara to set off those beautiful eyes, but her cheeks were rosy from the cold air. Her soft brown hair looked quite tidy for once. As she was talking, he focused on her lips. He loved the way they moved as she talked, her little teeth that she showed when she laughed. She had no lipstick on but her lips were pink and full. Sidney had a sudden urge to throw his bike on the floor and take her in his arms and kiss those lips. Just the two of them, no one else there, holding her close to him against the cold, just kiss and kiss and kiss until their mouths went numb. He shook himself; the conversation had stopped and she was making signs to move away and go into school.</p><p> </p><p>“Well Charlotte, I’m glad you had a good time. Looking forward to the week ahead?” <em>God, what was he saying, why couldn’t he say what he wanted to say? </em></p><p>“Yes, pretty busy week, but I think I’m well prepared.”</p><p>Bradley’s voice came into his head. ‘Tell her. Ask her out, man.’ He took a deep breath.</p><p>“Charlotte, um... I wanted to ask you something. You’ve been so helpful, you know, to me and Tom and the kids.”</p><p>“Oh, it was nothing, I like to help.”</p><p>He cleared his throat. “Well, I was wondering if...”</p><p>Just at that moment, Daniel Ferrars, the Deputy Head, strode up the path towards them.</p><p>“Sidney! How’s things? Good break? Mind, I don’t suppose you had much of a break, if your half term was anything like mine,” he guffawed, slapping Sidney on the back. He regarded them curiously. “Ah, Miss Heywood, are you well? Good holiday?”</p><p>“Yes, thank you, Mr Ferrars. I was just telling Mr Parker that I’d been to London,” she said politely.</p><p>“Oh, London! What do you want to go there for? Horrible noisy place! Give me the seaside any day.” He smiled kindly. “Well, I suppose you young people like it. Now Sidney, I was hoping to catch you before school, as I need to discuss this upcoming Ofsted. Apparently Mrs D only heard about it last week and she’s in a bit of a flap. Could we have a chat in my office, now?”</p><p>Sidney sighed, looking sadly at Charlotte. “Yes of course, Dan, I’ll just lock my bike up and get changed, and I’ll be over in five. Goodbye Charlotte, see you later.”</p><p>“Bye,” she replied. “Have a good day.”</p><p> </p><p>Sidney watched Charlotte’s back retreating further and further away from him, as she chatted politely to Dan Ferrars, walking into school.</p><p><em>Fuck!</em> Thought Sidney. <em>Fuck that fucking Ferrars and the fucking Ofsted inspection!</em> Now there was something else he needed to worry about. He’d been so close to asking her to come to the park with him and the kids on Saturday afternoon. Not even a date, and yet he’d been so bloody nervous in case she said no. He’d felt like a teenage boy, shyly asking his first girlfriend out. Why did she have this effect on him? Locking his bike up on the metal rack, memories came flooding back to him. Memories of Sanditon Head 20 odd years ago, in the 1990s. Memories of Brad, Frank and himself as schoolboys. The Three Musketeers they’d called themselves. Memories of the old bike shed that had been torn down long ago and replaced with a few measly racks. Not many kids rode to school any more. The roads were too dangerous and most were ferried in by car; their mums and dads seemed to treat parking as close to the school gates as possible like some kind of Olympic sport. Although he and Dan constantly sent out letters requesting parents to park more considerately, many of them still pulled up on the yellow markings outside the school gate, on the double yellow lines on the corners, or simply up on the kerb.</p><p>In the old days, the bike sheds had been a hive of illegal activity. At lunchtimes and after school, pupils would gather to smoke furtively, trade stuff they’d nicked from the corner shop or, on occasion, pass round packets of weed. For Sidney, however, the bike sheds had mainly been for snogging. While Frank was having a crafty fag or swapping what he’d nicked, and Brad was hanging around trying to look cool, but usually failing (bless him), Sidney was getting to know some of the girls at the school rather better. As it was a bit public, they wouldn’t usually let him get further than snogging, but there was quite often a queue willing to have a try. One or two of them had met him outside school and he’d taken them down the seafront to one of the shelters, where they’d let him go a bit further. What was her name? That blonde one, the first one who’d given him a... oh yes, Laura Baker. She was nice. She’d quickly got bored of him though and moved onto someone else.</p><p>Fucking hell. He felt like that teenage boy at the bike sheds all over again. Except this time he couldn’t even get to first base. He went inside to get changed and seek out Dan Ferrars.</p><p> </p><p>Charlotte, rather flushed from the cold and feeling a strange sense of disappointment, was changing out of her trainers into her flat black shoes. <em>What was that all about?</em> she thought. He’d seemed so pleased to see her. Positively beaming in fact. It was quite endearing. When she’d first met him, she’d found him a bit arrogant, but the way he’d chatted to her then, leaning sexily against his bike and running his fingers through his hair – he was like a different man. Like a much younger man almost, with no cares in the world, grinning at her shyly. She was sure he’d been about to ask her something. Ask her out? Really? He’d been looking at her so nervously, his Adam’s apple pulsating and that slight tic in his jaw tensing, almost as if he had rehearsed something in his head and couldn’t wait to get it out. Then that silly old bumbling Mr Ferrars had come along and broken the spell, and his countenance had completely changed. An Ofsted. That didn’t sound like good news.</p><p>She very much hoped she and Sidney would have another chance for a chat later this week. She’d missed their easy friendliness, the way they could make jokes and instantly understand what the other meant. And she wanted to find out more about him. Why was he single? What happened with his marriage? Why had he been keeping his distance from her the last few weeks? And why did it now seem as if he wanted to reconnect? Sighing, Charlotte picked up her books and made her way to her first class.</p><p> </p><p>***********************</p><p> </p><p>Sidney was forming a plan. He was in his office, checking the list of after-school clubs for the term, as he needed to have an overview of which pupils would be on site after hours. Whenever he could, on Wednesdays, he liked to help out with the football club, which was run by two young PE teachers, Leon James, fresh out of college last year, and the new woman, Frances Price, who was a little older. Leon was very popular, especially with the Year 10 and 11 girls, some of whom had taken a sudden interest in football. Frances was a keen footballer, very driven and athletic. She was quite pretty actually, Sidney thought, and very fit, but somehow she didn’t stir him in the same way that Charlotte did. He couldn’t imagine Charlotte playing football, although he would very much liked to have seen her in a football kit. <em>Stop it</em>, <em>not at work! </em>he thought. Sidney had played a lot of football at school and university and he enjoyed helping to coach the team as it brought him closer to the students, especially some of the less academic ones. They seemed to like him, although they often teased that he was too old to play football now. He probably was, but he loved it.</p><p>He scoured the list. <em>Thursday, 3.15 – 4.30, Drama Club, Main Hall. Miss Heywood.</em> He smiled to himself. Let’s hope it was raining on Thursday.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Have you ever seen Grange Hill?</p><p>And wouldn’t you join the queue?? (get to the back)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Secrets and Lies</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>In which Charlotte and Sidney share some secrets...</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>On Thursday afternoon, Charlotte hurried along the corridor towards the main hall, very excited about running the Drama club. She’d worked on several productions at university, and even got involved in a local amateur dramatics society in Notting Hill for a while, but had stopped when she started her teacher training. A mixed bag of pupils from various years were awaiting her, mostly girls but pleasingly, a few boys too. Mrs Griffiths had explained that the school used to have its own Drama department with dedicated teachers but, following cutbacks, it had been sidelined as a subject and was now only taught to the younger years by the already over-stretched English teachers.</p><p>There would be no production at Christmas as there simply wasn’t time to put it together. Hopefully she would be starting rehearsals for the annual musical show with some other teachers, including Clara Brereton, in the spring term. Hmm, she thought, that might be tricky. Clara was still ignoring her. For this term, she had decided they would work on some improvisations on a Christmas theme, maybe try writing some scripts between them, something related to homelessness and the true Christmas message. The plan was to perform these sketches to the whole school at the end of term. She hadn’t quite worked it all out but these things had a way of gaining wings and inspiring the students. She hoped.</p><p>It went well, in fact. All the pupils were there on a voluntary basis and they were all eager to pitch in their ideas. One of the Year 13 girls, Rosie, who had aspirations to be an actor, was particularly helpful. She was so engrossed in what they were doing that she lost track of time. Looking up, she noticed it was going dark outside and just at that moment, there was a cough at the back of the hall.</p><p> </p><p>“Miss Heywood! You look like you’re all having a great deal of fun, but can I remind you, it’s actually 4.40.” He tapped his watch. It was Sidney and he was striding down the hall towards them.</p><p>“Oh, Mr Parker, I’m sorry, we were so involved in what we were doing, I didn’t see the time.”</p><p>“Yes, well, perhaps you should let them get home now. It’s going dark.” He smiled at her.</p><p>“Right, yes guys, can you all pack up now please? Thanks so much, it’s been great, and I’ll see you all next week. Deborah, is your mum picking you up?” she asked a small Year 7 girl.</p><p>The children gradually sauntered out of the hall, saying goodbye to Charlotte, who was gathering her things together. She looked up. Sidney was still standing there. He had that nervous look on his face again.</p><p>“Charlotte... um, could I give you a lift home, perhaps? It’s not very nice out there.”</p><p>She looked out the window. There were a few spots of rain, but it wasn’t that bad.</p><p>“Oh, you didn’t cycle today then?”</p><p>“No, I had an idea the weather might turn, so I brought the car. You don’t live far, do you?”</p><p>“No,” she smiled at him, “a mile or two. I’ll just get my coat. Thank you.”</p><p> </p><p>She stepped into his black Astra, settled herself in the passenger seat and fastened the belt. Sidney got in and put the car into reverse. He turned round to look over his shoulder while backing out of the space, putting his hand on the back of her seat as he did so. She could see his strong profile in the gloom, his high cheekbones and the stubble on his jaw. She could also smell his aftershave and some, other, indefinable masculine scent. It made her throat go dry and her stomach contract.</p><p>“So, Charlotte, did that go well?” he asked in a friendly manner. He really was changed these days.</p><p>“Yes it was great!” She explained what they had been doing.</p><p>He nodded. “Well, I have to say I’m really pleased you’ve taken on the club. We didn’t think anyone would be able to do it. Seeing as we don’t have any actual Drama teachers... And Mrs Griffiths is very grateful, I’m sure.”</p><p>There was a slight pause. She glanced over at his long fingers wrapped round the steering wheel. Although he was wearing a long-sleeved jacket, she could see the hairs on his wrists and his rather imposing watch.</p><p>“You know she’s widowed, don’t you?” he turned his head to look at her.</p><p>“Yes, she did mention it.”</p><p>“Her husband died a couple of years ago. Cancer. She has a grown-up daughter I believe, but she doesn’t live locally.”</p><p>“Oh, how sad,” replied Charlotte.</p><p>Sidney continued. “She was quite ill for a while, you know. Depressed. She had to take several months off work. We thought she might not come back. In fact...” He cleared his throat. “Can I tell you something confidentially, Charlotte? Strictly between you and me?” He glanced over at her again. Her face was shadowed by the soft light in the car and her eyes, when she turned them towards him, were warm and luminous.</p><p>“Of course.”</p><p>“Well, Mrs Denham wanted to replace her as Head of English. But I, and Dan Ferrars, we argued against it and managed to arrange a kind of support system for her, flexible working. She’s back full time now, but it’s been a struggle for her. She has good days and bad days, you know.”</p><p>Charlotte nodded sympathetically. “Well, I guess you would understand... the pain of bereavement.”</p><p>He turned again, regarding her softly. “Yes. Anyway, I just wanted to you know. She’s a very experienced and competent teacher, but she needs a little TLC now and again.”</p><p>Charlotte smiled. “I noticed... um... she’s quite friendly with Mr Hankins. I mean, not in that way obviously, but...”</p><p>“Yes,” agreed Sidney, “they’re good friends I think. He’s on his own as well. Apparently Robert used to be a vicar, but he lost his faith. He got divorced around the same time.”</p><p>“Well I never suspected that!” said Charlotte. “He’s always joking about religion and what a waste of time it is.” She smiled. “I believe he and Mrs Griffiths have a shared love of poetry? Byron and Keats mostly.”</p><p>“Well, I wouldn’t know the names. As you know, I’m a literary ignoramus.” He grinned. “But I believe they meet up to discuss philosophy and read poetry together quite regularly.”</p><p>“Hmm,” said Charlotte, “reading too much poetry can be bad for you, I’ve heard. Perhaps they should try some prose.”</p><p> </p><p>"And how's Joe been?" he asked, glancing at her again. "Give you any more trouble?"</p><p>"Not really," she replied, "I mean, he doesn't really pay much attention in class and he's still a bit noisy at times, but he hasn't... um... addressed me inappropriately or anything."</p><p>"Good, good," nodded Sidney. "Joe has a troubled home background, so we don’t like to exclude him as it doesn’t help matters.” He paused. “If it's any consolation, teenagers often, you know, have crushes on their teachers. I mean, when I was working in London, I err... had a few problems myself, with some of the girls. You just have to rise above it and stay firm. Of course, things are different now I'm an old man," he laughed.</p><p><em>Hmm, </em><em>is he fishing for compliments?</em>  She simply smiled at him.</p><p>"I think Leon gets a bit of trouble in that direction. You know Leon? The PE teacher?"</p><p>She nodded. Yes, she had noticed Leon. Taut, well defined muscles, floppy light brown hair and perfect white teeth.</p><p>"Bless him, he's only 23," continued Sidney. <em>Far too young for you Charlotte</em>. "Girls tend to go a bit silly though. Boys can be more cruel. So make sure you speak to me or Dan Ferrars if he gives you any more trouble."</p><p>"Of course," she replied, "Thank you."</p><p> </p><p>They were driving along the seafront now, getting closer to her flat. Sidney cursed to himself. He’d have to find a longer way to drive her home next time.</p><p>“Sidney?” enquired Charlotte softly, admiring his profile as he drove, “Can I tell you something too? Confidentially I mean?”</p><p>Sidney swallowed. What could she be about to say? Was it about him? “Yes, of course, Charlotte.”</p><p>“Well, I think there’s something going on between... Edward and Clara.”</p><p>It wasn’t about him. “Clara Brereton?”</p><p>“Yes, the music teacher.”</p><p>“What makes you think that? He flirts with everyone, as you know.” He grimaced at her and she blushed.</p><p>“Well, I’ve seen them a few times, driving off together, and um... I heard them once.”</p><p>“You <em>heard </em>them?” His eyes widened.</p><p>“Yes. In the Music cupboard. They were quite loud.”</p><p>Losing control of the wheel momentarily, he swerved to avoid a traffic island. “Shit! Sorry. What do you mean? Doing what in the Music cupboard?”</p><p>“Sidney, don’t be daft. What do you think I mean? They weren’t studying music scores. And the sounds they were making weren’t terribly musical either.” They both burst out laughing.</p><p>“How do you know it was them?”</p><p>“Because they came in the staffroom shortly afterwards, and it was just... obvious,” she gesticulated. “But of course they don’t know I heard them. Oh, this is my flat right here, Sidney, on the left.”</p><p>Sidney glanced up at a tall stucco building and reversed the car into a space. Switching off the engine, he turned in his seat towards her.</p><p>“Look, you know I’m not a fan of Edward. Can’t stand the man, if I’m honest.” She nodded. “But really... what can I do? They’re consenting adults after all, even if he is married. Of course... having sex on the premises,” his eyes flashed at her, “is totally unprofessional but you can’t prove it was them, can you?”</p><p><em>That bloody slimeball Edward Denham.</em> Every red-blooded male had fantasies about having sex at work, across the desk, on the floor – god knows, he’d had a few about Charlotte. He had stupidly indulged once or twice himself in the past, but at least he didn’t have a wife and children waiting for him at home while he shagged another woman in a cupboard.</p><p>Charlotte looked concerned. “To be honest, it’s Clara I’m worried about. She knows he’s married and... he doesn’t seem like the type who’d leave his wife.”</p><p>“No,” agreed Sidney. “Apparently his wife comes from a rich family, hence the BMW. But Clara’s a grown woman, isn’t she? She can look after herself.”</p><p>“I don’t know,” said Charlotte, her large, soft eyes shining in the darkness. “There’s something a little... vulnerable about her. She doesn’t seem to like me though. We got on well at first, but then Edward kept trying to flirt with me – you remember – and now she just ignores me.”</p><p>Sidney frowned. “Does he still bother you Charlotte?”</p><p>She looked down at her lap. “Well, actually…”</p><p>“What?” he asked quietly.</p><p>“Just before half term, he… he touched me, in the staffroom. At least I think he did.”</p><p>“What the fuck? Why didn’t you tell me?” Sidney began to extend his hand towards her, then stopped.</p><p>She reddened. “Oh it was nothing. I mean… we were at the lockers and I think… I think he touched my bum or something.” She couldn’t look him in the eye.</p><p>“Jesus. What did you do?”</p><p>She looked up, smiling a little. “I elbowed him hard in the stomach and told him to fuck off.”</p><p>“Well done for you.” He smiled briefly. “But why didn’t you tell me, Charlotte?”</p><p>She shrugged. “I was embarrassed, I guess. I told him if he did it again, I would tell you and he… well he said some really vile stuff to me.” She looked down at her lap again.</p><p>“Like what? Don't be embarrassed, it's best if you tell me.”</p><p>She sighed. “Oh you know, called me a prick tease, stuff like that. Then he said I was too fat for him anyway. Don’t worry, I think he got the message as he hasn’t been near me since. It’s not the first time men have spoken to me in that way,” she said quietly, remembering a fellow student on her PGCE course who’d spent weeks asking her out and then, when she finally agreed to go for a drink, had got angry with her because she wouldn’t kiss him.</p><p>Sidney’s jaw tensed as he observed her. What he really wanted to do was reach over and take her in his arms, tell her she was beautiful, that she was far from fat, that a real man would never speak to her like that, that he thought she was the most wonderful woman he’d ever met. But he couldn’t. It would have come across as a bit crass after everything she’d told him.</p><p>“God, I could kill him, Charlotte, I really could,” was all he said.</p><p>She laughed. “It’s okay, you don’t have to fight a duel to defend my honour.”</p><p>Sidney laughed back. “I would, though. Make sure you come straight to me if he ever tries anything on again, won’t you?” He smiled at her tenderly. She nodded.</p><p>“And Charlotte,” he continued quietly, looking deep into her eyes. “You’re none of those things. You know that, don’t you? In fact…” He closed his eyes. So much he wanted to say. So much he couldn’t say.</p><p>“God,” he continued, shaking his head, “I wonder if his wife knows what he’s like. Probably. But I wonder if you have a tendency to see too much good in people. Surely Clara knows what she’s doing?”</p><p>“Are you saying I’m naive?” She looked up at him, surprised. “Well, I’d rather be naive and try to help people than not bother. I’m sorry I told you now.” She moved to leave the car.</p><p>Sidney put his hand on her arm. “Wait, wait, Charlotte.” A warm feeling coursed through her. “I didn’t mean it like that. You’re very trusting and I admire that, really I do. But you come from a loving family don’t you, and I’d guess you’ve never had any really bad experiences in your life. What do you want me to do, call them into my office like naughty children?”</p><p>Charlotte frowned. He was still holding her arm. “You’re right, I have been lucky. But I’m not a child, Sidney. I know what some men are like. And sometimes vulnerable women fall under their spell and get hurt. I don’t expect you to do anything. I just thought you ought to know. I wanted to tell someone, anyway.”</p><p>He removed his hand. “You were right, Charlotte. I will certainly keep an eye on the situation. And you listen out for any more... noises from the cupboards as you walk around the school.” They both laughed.</p><p>Sidney’s expression turned serious again. “Can I tell you something else, confidentially?” Goodness. It was certainly a night for secrets.</p><p>“Okay,” she answered, thinking how handsome he looked when he was serious.</p><p>“You know that Edward is Mrs Denham’s nephew? By marriage at least?”</p><p>She nodded.</p><p>“Well, when I joined the school four years ago, I thought that was rather odd. I have some teaching friends in Brighton and I found out that he’d been employed at a large school there, but had been asked to leave. I suppose you can guess why?”</p><p>Charlotte’s eyes widened. “Inappropriate behaviour?”</p><p>“Yes,” confirmed Sidney. “With a sixth form pupil, apparently. It was mostly rumours and the girl herself didn’t put in a complaint. She left the school, but Edward was quietly asked to go. And then somehow he got another job in Sanditon.”</p><p>“Christ,” exclaimed Charlotte, “that’s nepotism, isn’t it?”</p><p>“Look, I’m not accusing anyone of anything,” said Sidney, “there’s no evidence one way or the other. But he’s a thoroughly nasty piece of work in my opinion, and I’d advise you to steer well clear of him.”</p><p>“Don’t worry,” she replied, rolling her eyes, “I will. But Sidney, why does he even need a job if his wife’s so rich?”</p><p>“I don’t know,” he shrugged. “Presumably a school gives him somewhere to... hunt down his quarry. As long as he sticks to teachers, not pupils, there’s not much I can do.”</p><p>Charlotte grimaced, disgusted. “Ugh.”</p><p>“But,” continued Sidney, “that type of person always trips themselves up eventually. We’ll just have to make sure we’re watching when he does. And Charlotte, you will keep all this strictly between us, won’t you?”</p><p>“Of course,” she smiled. “Your secret’s safe with me.”</p><p>There was a pause. “Well,” said Charlotte breezily, “I’d better go. Thanks so much for the lift.”</p><p> </p><p>Sidney looked across at her. Damn. He hadn’t even mentioned anything about the weekend; it would sound a bit strange now. Bloody Edward Denham and his strange deviances.</p><p>She opened the door and began to climb out, then changed her mind and sat back down again. He was a little unnerved.</p><p>“Sidney?” she said softly. “You know the other morning, when I saw you on your bike? Were you going to ask me something before Mr Ferrars came along?” She was blushing slightly.</p><p>Sidney swallowed. Now or never. Play it cool.</p><p>“Oh yes, I forgot. I um... well Tom’s children have been asking when they can see you again. So I wondered if you’d like to join us on Saturday maybe, at the park?” He inhaled nervously.</p><p>Charlotte glanced at him. His Adam’s apple was doing that funny thing again. She smiled softly.</p><p>“I’d love to, but it’s Esther’s birthday this weekend and we’ve arranged to go out in Brighton with some of her uni friends. We’re going over in the afternoon. Might even stay in a hotel for the night if it’s a late one.”</p><p>Sidney felt a pang of disappointment but tried not to show it. “Not to worry, it was just an idea. They keep asking about you.” This wasn’t strictly true. Jenny and Alicia had mentioned her once or twice. It was he who was desperate to spend time with her.</p><p>She placed her hand briefly on his arm. “I’m sorry. Maybe next time. Goodnight then.” She turned to get out of the car.</p><p>“Goodnight, Charlotte. Look, I can give you a lift home next week if you like? I don’t like to think of you walking in the dark.”</p><p>She nodded, smiling curiously at him. “Great. I’ll look forward to it.”</p><p>Then she was gone. Sidney manoeuvred out of the space and headed for home.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Esther was peering out of the kitchen window as Charlotte entered the flat.</p><p>“Who’s that guy you were with Charlotte? In the car? You were talking for ages!”</p><p>Charlotte grinned mischievously. “That’s Sidney.”</p><p>“Oh, <em>that’s</em> Sidney! Well, he does seem rather handsome. Familiar, somehow. Can’t quite place him. Nice chat, was it?”</p><p>“Not really,” replied Charlotte. “Well, I mean, he was nice, but I was telling him about Edward and Clara. He doesn’t really think he can do anything though. No evidence.”</p><p>“Hmmm,” said Esther. “That’s what they always say. You want some dinner?”</p><p>“Yes, that’d be lovely,” replied Charlotte, looking at the vegetable chilli that was simmering on the stove.</p><p>“Esther,” she continued, “I think he just asked me out.”</p><p>“What?!” Esther grinned. “What do you mean? Either he did or he didn’t!”</p><p>Charlotte sighed. “He asked if I wanted to come to the park on Saturday afternoon. He said the kids wanted to see me. But we’re already going out Saturday, so I had to say no.”</p><p>“Oh well,” said Esther. “There’ll be a next time, I’m sure. Sounds like he’s already lining you up for future wife material!” she teased.</p><p>Charlotte threw a tea towel at her. “Oi, stop it!”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Little nod to Persuasion in there...</p><p>Secrets and Lies (film by Mike Leigh)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. After the Ofsted</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>In which Sidney stumbles into a confession…</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>Unfortunately, there wasn’t a next time. Not for a Saturday afternoon playdate anyway. But for the whole of that term, Sidney gave her a lift home every Thursday after Drama Club, whatever the weather. Even if it was a sunny morning, he’d smile ruefully as he walked past his bike in the garage, unlocking the door of his car. He wasn’t going to miss this opportunity to be alone with her. They were still having fortnightly monitoring meetings, but that was work. It wasn’t enough.</p><p>As he’d told her on their weekly journeys, Tom’s counselling had been going so well that Mary had finally agreed to meet him in a neutral place; a quiet café in Brighton where they’d spent an hour or so talking. Although they’d both found it extremely difficult, it was a start. Mary was even considering attending some of his counselling sessions so that they could talk about what had gone wrong in their marriage and try to work out a tentative plan for the future of their family. Nevertheless, she was quite adamant they wouldn’t be getting back together any time soon.</p><p>The upshot was that on alternate weekends, when Tom wasn’t working, he went over to Brighton to see the children, picking them up from Mary’s house so he could take them out locally. Sometimes he borrowed Sidney’s car, as he had long ago sold his own, or Sidney drove him over. Mary had a new job as a vet’s receptionist and often worked weekends, so it was easier for her that way. Arthur had also been talked into letting them make use of his flat, especially if the weather was bad, and occasionally Tom would stay there overnight. Arthur was very often out at weekends, or at his boyfriend’s, so it was all the same to him.</p><p>This meant, however, that the children were not coming to Sanditon every other weekend as they had done before, although they still stayed the odd Friday night or on a week day if Mary was at work in the evening and no one else could look after them. Charlotte was delighted that Tom and Mary were making progress, but a little disappointed that it was now less likely she’d be able to enjoy some time with them in Sidney’s company.</p><p>She found herself looking forward to their weekly car rides more and more. He would chat about his day, sharing some of his worries, telling her bits of school gossip; she would tell him about her classes and the funny things that had happened. Laughing together, he would glance over at her and think how adorable she was, how expressive her face was when she was enthused, and how much he would miss her if he couldn’t see her for some reason. He loved just listening to her voice. The traffic was often shocking at that time of the day, and on more than one occasion it took them much longer to get to her flat than it should have done. Sidney found he didn’t mind one bit.</p><p>As it was winter, she was usually muffled up in a coat, sometimes in trousers, but occasionally she wore a skirt and tights and he would glance at her slender legs as she got in and out of the car. She, meanwhile, would sneak glances at his strong arms resting on the steering wheel and his beautiful profile, wondering if anything would ever come of this. He certainly didn’t seem to be in a hurry to move their relationship any further along, though it was fairly obvious to her that he admired her. Their initial lust – on both sides – seemed to have subsided into an easy, mildly flirtatious friendship, but she wasn’t quite sure what direction it was taking. Or whether it had any direction at all. In bed, at night, she would often think about him, imagining his strong arms around her as she laid her head on his chest, chatting intimately in the dark.</p><p> </p><p>November rolled into December. The nights got darker, the air got colder, the rain more frequent. Sidney was tired, overworked and underpaid. He couldn’t get out on his bike that often and spent most weekends taking Tom over to Brighton, visiting his sister and brother, or catching up on paperwork at home. The one thing he really looked forward to were his chats in the car with Charlotte. It was his favourite time of the week.</p><p>During the dreaded Ofsted inspection, he was quite stressed for a while, working lots of extra hours due to all the responsibilities thrust upon him by Mrs Denham. Mr Ferrars and the other members of the SLT worked hard behind the scenes too, but Mr Parker was the poster boy. The young, dynamic, go-getting senior teacher, promising headship material one day perhaps. He confided to Charlotte how much he felt put upon, how much was expected from him, and that he wasn’t always sure whether he could deliver, if he had the energy. She would reassure him and tell him how much everyone respected him; encourage him and bolster his ego. He even asked if she would let the inspectors observe one of her classes and, after some hesitation, she agreed. She didn’t think she was good enough, she was too young, too inexperienced she said, but he cut her off and told her that was rubbish. She was just as good as any of the other teachers and she deserved a chance to show what she could do. In the end, the lesson went well and the school passed its inspection with a ‘Good’ rating, albeit with a few areas that needed improvement. The report came through in early December and as they got into the car that evening, Sidney and Charlotte high-fived each other joyfully.</p><p> </p><p>They drove along, chatting happily, and all too soon they were at her flat. Sidney pulled up, resting his hand on the gearstick.</p><p>"Night then, Charlotte." Damn. He wished the traffic had been slower that evening.</p><p>There was a pause. To his surprise, she leaned over and placed her hand on top of his.</p><p>"Well done again for the Ofsted, Sidney. It's brilliant."</p><p>He swallowed. "We should go out for a drink sometime to celebrate." <em>Where did that come from?</em></p><p>"Yes," she replied, "I expect everyone will be going to the Crown tomorrow night. You going to come? You haven't been along for ages." She removed her hand from his.</p><p>"I can't," he frowned. "I have to pick up the kids. Tom has Saturday off so... err... I was thinking perhaps just you and me. Sometime." <em>Shit. He'd said it.</em> <em>Now what would she do?</em></p><p>She laughed softly, looking up at him. "Is that wise, Mr Parker?"</p><p>His eyes bore into her. "No, probably not." A pause. "Charlotte, I... sometimes wish I wasn't your boss."</p><p>Charlotte looked down at her lap, speechless.</p><p>He suddenly felt anxious. "So, what are you going to do now? Slap me? Tell me I'm a hypocrite? Report me to Mrs Denham?" He leaned back in his seat, fixing his eyes on the roof of the car.</p><p>"Don't be daft. But isn't it... against the rules?"</p><p>He looked at her. She wasn't angry. There was a small smile round the corners of her mouth.</p><p>"Yeah. Probably. Forget I said anything. Sorry."</p><p>She looked up at him with those big doe eyes. "Sidney, what do you want from me?"</p><p>"What do I want?"</p><p>"Yes. What do you want? Not a shag in a cupboard, I hope." She giggled.</p><p>He put his hand on her shoulder. "No, not in a cupboard." He laughed too.</p><p>"What, then?"</p><p>He paused, faltering. His hands were sweaty and his stomach was in knots. "I'd like to take you out, get to know you better. But I realise it's not... ideal. I shouldn't be saying this at all."</p><p>Charlotte looked down at her lap again, pondering. Then she raised her head.</p><p>"What about... in the Christmas holidays? Once the term's over, when we're not at school. Pretend we never even met at work. See what happens. How does that sound?" She smiled shyly at him.</p><p>"You... you want to?"</p><p>"Of course I want to, Sidney. Hasn't it been obvious?"</p><p>"I thought I'd been obvious," he smiled back, sighing with relief.</p><p>"Yeah, you have a bit."</p><p>"Come here, Charlotte. Just a hug."</p><p>She leaned over and he wrapped his arms around her and hugged her tightly. He found he couldn't let go. She smelled so wonderful and her body was so warm. At least a minute went by. All they could hear was the sound of each other's breathing. "Charlotte," he whispered into her hair.</p><p>She pulled back slightly to look at him and, as on their very first meeting that night in the pub, it seemed as if his brown eyes were mirroring her own. Deep, liquid pools that she felt she could see right into and understand. Neither of them spoke. Then, very gently, he brought his lips towards hers, brushing them lightly. As Charlotte inhaled his beautiful masculine scent, she brought up her hand to stroke the stubble on his jaw. He kissed her very slowly; so slowly and sensually it sent tingles all the way from her lips to the very centre of her body and beyond.</p><p>Then he pulled away. "Not long till Christmas, Charlotte," he said softly, smiling.</p><p>She smiled at him. "I can't wait. Goodnight, Sidney." She climbed out the car.</p><p>At the door she turned back and waved. Then she ran inside.</p><p>Esther did not get home until later that evening and for once, Charlotte decided to keep what had happened to herself. She wasn’t quite certain what was going to happen next, or when. She only knew she’d had to give him a bit of a nudge, to find out what he really wanted. Hugging herself in bed that night, she went to sleep with a smile on her face, thinking about what he’d said and the way his lips had felt against hers. It was like being back at school again, sharing an illicit kiss round the side of the house, out of her mum’s sight. Hopefully they'd get to have a date at the end of term, before she went home for Christmas. Although she wasn’t entirely sure she could wait that long.</p><p> </p><p>***************************************************</p><p> </p><p>Sidney drove home in a state of shock. He’d not planned to ask her out at all, and he'd certainly not planned to kiss her. But it had been impossible not to. She tasted exquisite, and the only reason he'd held back was because he knew if he let himself go he wouldn't be able to stop.</p><p>He remembered her cheeky joke about doing it in a cupboard and smiled to himself. He had a feeling she was going to be a lot of fun, presuming they got that far. Two weeks. Maybe there’d be a chance to take her out at least once before she went home for Christmas. Could he even wait that long?</p><p>One thing he was certain about. This time he was going to keep it separate from work and definitely off the premises. That had been his big mistake with Sarah. Sarah Crawford, the Biology teacher from Brighton, on a short-term supply contract. She was young and sexy, and she knew it. At first, she’d just flirted mildly with him in the canteen, in the staffroom. He’d been flattered; he was going through a dry spell, sex-wise, and he’d only just been promoted to SLT. He’d just been given his own office. One day Sarah came into that office after school; it was quite late and going dark outside. She said she wanted to ask him about one of her Biology classes. He replied that he knew nothing about Biology. Then she perched on the corner of his desk, right in front of him, and said “I could teach you something about Biology.” She must have been rehearsing that one. The top part of her blouse was unbuttoned, revealing her ample cleavage. She'd leaned forward and played with his tie, parting her legs as she did so. His cock had responded instantly and he’d simply followed its lead. “Don’t worry, I’m on the pill,” she'd whispered in his ear. He’d taken her right there on the desk, his trousers round his ankles.</p><p>They did it again in his office, twice in fact. The second time, they were mid-coitus when they heard Janice, the cleaner, going round with her Hoover. They quickly sprang apart and adjusted their clothing as Janice knocked on the door. “Can I empty your bin please, Mr Parker?” she said, regarding them curiously. There may have been some rumours among the domestic staff as a consequence, but fortunately they didn’t go any further.</p><p>After that incident, he came to his senses and insisted that they go to his house. Sarah was fine with that; in fact she began to want to come to his house every evening. She was beginning to get clingy and it bothered him. The sex was great, but they had little to talk about once the deed was done. It felt like one of the many liaisons he’d had as a student; fun for a while but kind of deadening to the soul.</p><p>When her contract came to an end, he told her it was over and hoped she’d go back to Brighton and forget all about him. But she didn’t. She kept messaging and calling him, at all hours of the day and night, even at work. So he changed his phone number. Then she started coming round his house; she’d be there, waiting, when he arrived home after school. If he stayed late at the office in a bid to avoid her, she’d be outside the school gates. He tried to reason with her, but she wasn’t having it. Then one day, his neighbour, an elderly man and a keen member of the Neighbourhood Watch scheme, with his own CCTV camera installed on his house, told him he’d seen a young woman at his house in the daytime, peering in through the windows, trying the door handles. He’d even seen her in the back garden; how she’d got over the fence, he didn’t know. He was willing to check his CCTV and see if she was on there.</p><p>Sidney was freaked. This wasn’t just a spurned lover, this was stalker territory, but he really didn’t want to involve the police. If word got out, that would surely be the end of his position at Sanditon Head. He also spent several sleepless nights wondering if she’d lied to him about being on the pill. He wasn’t keen to fall for that ploy again. At his wits’ end, he approached Bradley, to see what could be done legally. Bradley advised him he could get a restraining order, but he would definitely have to report it to the police. One weekend, Bradley came down to Sanditon and they arranged a meeting with Sarah, where they clearly spelled matters out to her. Sidney told her she’d been seen in the back garden and that his neighbour had caught her on CCTV (not quite true). If she didn’t stop, they would be taking legal action. Fortunately, this scared Sarah off; she got a new job in Brighton and Sidney didn’t hear from her again. But it was a very, very close shave.</p><p>He knew, instinctively, that Charlotte was nothing like that. He trusted her. But this time he was going to go slowly and keep it well outside work. Plus, he knew already that with Charlottte, it was far more than sex. He could even… no, he shouldn’t go there, but he could even imagine them walking along Sanditon seafront, pushing a pram together. Christ, he’d better not tell her that; she’d run a mile. One thing he knew for sure, they’d have a lot of fun trying. But not in his office, not on his desk. There were plenty of places in his house they could try instead. Lying in bed that night, he ran through the list of possible locations in his mind as he drifted off to sleep.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Mmm… Colin Firth in "Love Actually", driving Aurelia home… I love that couple. At least Sidney and Charlotte can speak the same language... kind of.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Blocked traffic</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>In which Sidney and Charlotte have a substantial, but painful conversation…</p><p>So we seem to be in the middle of several chapters with quite a lot of chatting... as we get nearer to Christmas, the action (of one sort of another) is going to warm up. But there might be a few surprises along the way...</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>In the week following their somewhat chaste kiss, they blushed each time they saw each other around school, barely able to meet each other’s eyes. They avoided talking at work unless necessary, as it was too difficult not to betray their feelings, or simply to stand there and gaze at one another. The end of term was approaching fast and there seemed to be something on at school every night; parents' evenings, open evenings, Christmas concert, football matches. He had to cancel their remaining Friday meeting as there was simply too much in the diary.</p><p>But he made very sure he was able to give her a lift home from Drama Club on Thursday. As they approached the car, he held the door open for her, not something he usually did.</p><p>"Why, thank you Mr Parker," she smiled cheekily.</p><p>"My pleasure, Miss Heywood." He gently caressed her back as she climbed inside.</p><p>As she settled into her seat, he turned to look at her and it took all his willpower not to lean across and kiss her; glancing up at the staffroom, he noticed the light was still on and he had a strange sense that someone was watching them. Instead, as he reached for the gear stick, he leaned over and squeezed her hand, briefly touching her knee as he did so.</p><p>“You okay?” he asked, his throat dry.</p><p>“Yes, sure.” She flashed him a lovely smile.</p><p>He put the car into first gear.</p><p> </p><p>That night, the traffic was excruciatingly slow, which suited Sidney fine.</p><p>Charlotte was chatting about her Year 9 class, the one he’d observed earlier in the year.</p><p>“So, have you read any more of Jane Eyre then, or did you give up?” she teased him.</p><p>“Actually...yeah,” he replied, “I did give up for a while, I had no time for anything, but recently I’ve given it another go. I’ve just got to the mad wife in the attic bit.”</p><p>“Oh god,” she laughed, “were you surprised?”</p><p>“Yeah, I assumed it was Grace Poole who’d been going round setting fire to things.”</p><p>“Yes, it’s very Gothic, isn’t it?” she enthused, “but such a great story. I saw the film as a child before I even read the book, so I wasn’t surprised by that bit. It was only later when I came to study it properly, that I realised the significance of Bertha being from the West Indies. She was probably mixed race, you see, although at the time they used the term ‘Creole’. So not only did the Victorians think she was hysterical because she was a woman, they thought her vices and her uncontrolled behaviour – including her sexual behaviour – were due to her race. Oh sorry, I’m boring you,” she apologised.</p><p>“No, not at all, Charlotte, you’re never boring,” he laughed, “I love your enthusiasm.”</p><p>“Well, anyway, it can be tricky explaining that to the students.”</p><p>“I can imagine.”</p><p>“I suppose they were just the prevailing attitudes at the time. It wasn’t long after the abolition of slavery, you see. Sorry,” she laughed, “I have a tendency to go into English teacher mode. Tell me to shut up if you want.”</p><p>He smiled at her. “I love hearing you talk. It makes it easier to understand, otherwise I’m just staring at a load of obscure language and wondering what the hell’s going on. I promise I’ll get to the end one day. So, were you named after her?”</p><p>“Who, Charlotte Brontë? No, I don’t think so, my parents just liked the name.”</p><p>“It’s a lovely name,” he said softly, giving her a shy smile.</p><p> </p><p>He put the handbrake on; the traffic had been stationary for some minutes.</p><p>“God, what’s going on?” he said, craning his neck out of the window. “Looks like there might be an accident up ahead or something. Perhaps you should walk the rest of the way Charlotte? Might be quicker.”</p><p>“No, it’s fine,” replied Charlotte, smiling at him. “There’s absolutely no urgency for me to get home. I’d much rather keep you company.”</p><p>“Good,” he nodded. “My thoughts exactly.”</p><p>There was a pause. Sidney drummed impatiently on the steering wheel, even though he didn’t really feel impatient. He normally hated traffic jams, and loved whizzing past them when he was on his bike, but today it didn’t bother him one bit. Even just being silent with her in the car was comforting somehow.</p><p> </p><p>He turned to look at her. "Penny for your thoughts, Charlotte?"</p><p>"Oh," she said. "I was just wondering why you became a teacher. Surely you could have done anything.” <em>Model. Actor. Sports star.</em></p><p>"Not much else you can do with Pure Maths,” he shrugged. “Other than become a bloody accountant, or a professor, and I wasn’t good enough for that. Plus I like the students. Most of the time.”</p><p>“You never tried any other job then?”</p><p>“No,” he shook his head. “I did consider it once. But that was... during my marriage. She – Eliza – she kept going on at me to change career.”</p><p>
  <em>Eliza.</em>
</p><p>“Why?” asked Charlotte, perplexed.</p><p>Sidney swallowed. Looked like the whole story was going to come out now. <em>What on earth would she think</em>?</p><p>“She didn’t think being a teacher was good enough, I suppose. She wanted me to go into business, make something of myself. She didn’t want to just be a teacher’s wife; she’d worked in the City and I guess she was used to the money.”</p><p>“So how did you meet?”</p><p>“Well actually, we first met at university, at UCL in London. I kind of... had a fling with her for a short while. To be honest,” he grinned, “I had a few flings at university. I didn’t want to be tied down.”</p><p><em>I bet you didn’t</em>, thought Charlotte.</p><p>“Then, after I’d qualified and started teaching at a school in Hackney – really tough school by the way – we met again by chance at a party I was at with Frank. That’s Frank Crowe, my other friend from school. He’s a banker. At least I think it was by chance, perhaps she’d heard I was around, who knows. Anyway, this was not long after my parents had died, and I guess I was a bit... vulnerable. She kind of got her claws into me and that was that.”</p><p>He paused. Charlotte looked over at him. His jaw was tensing as he stared straight ahead.</p><p>“Forgive me for saying this, Sidney, this might be really nosy of me, but it doesn’t sound as if you actually liked her that much. Why did you marry her?”</p><p>“Ha!” he barked. “<em>That</em> is a very good question.” The traffic had started to creep along again slowly.</p><p>“I did like her, in some ways, and I guess she must have liked me. But she caught me at a bad time and well...” he trailed off.</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“You might not believe this, but she told me she thought she was pregnant.”</p><p>Charlotte gasped. “But you said...”</p><p>“Yes,” he nodded grimly, “the pregnancy turned out to be a false alarm. But by that time, I’d already proposed to her. I could hardly go back on my word. We got married and what followed was the three most miserable years of my life. Okay, perhaps there was nothing <em>that </em>bad about it, but I always felt like she wanted to mould me into something I wasn’t. She made me leave the school in Hackney and get a job at a posher one in Crouch End. She kept nagging me to leave teaching and go into business. She wanted to get a big house out in Essex or somewhere, you see, not be stuck in a flat in Islington. She didn’t like visiting my family in Sanditon; it was too provincial for her. She wanted me to come along to all her social events and hang out with her crowd. I found it easy to pretend to fit in, but I never really felt like I belonged there.”</p><p>“Wow,” said Charlotte, “she sounds like a barrel of laughs.”</p><p>He chuckled. “She was a bit short on humour, as it happens.”</p><p>“So how did it end? Sorry, I’m being way too nosy again...” she waved her hands in apology. The line of traffic was now crawling slowly past the scene of the accident and the other drivers were rubbernecking to see what had happened.</p><p>“I don’t mind, Charlotte. God, I haven’t talked about this in years. In fact, some people, Tom and Arthur, they don’t even know the whole story. Although I did tell Diana, and I think she told Mary.”</p><p>Charlotte glanced at him, concerned.</p><p>He exhaled deeply. “To cut a long story short, I had a parents’ evening one night and it was cancelled at the last minute as half the teachers had the flu, so I went home early. When I walked in the flat, she was in bed with another man.”</p><p>Charlotte gasped. “What, literally?”</p><p>“Well no, not literally. Not long after the fact. Charles, some public school type hedge fund manager. I’d had my suspicions to be honest and… well, we’d been arguing a lot. Still, they’re married now and they live in some big pile in the Sussex commuter belt. I bumped into them the other year at a garden party. They’d not long had a little girl, and she was very proud of how quickly she’d got back into her old jeans, as I remember.”</p><p>Charlotte was stunned. <em>Why would any woman do that – to him? </em></p><p>“That must have been very upsetting,” she said sympathetically.</p><p>He laughed sardonically. “She did me a favour, to be honest. I’m glad I got out of it. Although I guess my ego was bruised for a while. Word got around, you know. I got out of London, went to Kenya for a year, and well, you know the rest.”</p><p>There was a pause. “And, has there been anyone else? Since?” She bit her lip.</p><p>He shrugged. “A few, yeah. Nothing serious. And um… not for a while.” He found he couldn’t look her in the eye.</p><p> </p><p>The traffic began to pick up speed. “So, Charlotte, that’s my sob story. What’s yours? Fair’s fair.”</p><p>“Oh, you mean James?” Charlotte squirmed a little in her seat.</p><p>
  <em>James.</em>
</p><p>“Nothing half as dramatic as you, honest! We met at uni too and started going out in the final year. He studied architecture and he got an apprenticeship at a big firm in central London. It took me longer to get a job – I went back to Willingden for a while – but when I started at Harper Collins, it made sense to move into his flat, as he was already earning way more than me.”</p><p>“And?”</p><p>“We just... I guess we started drifting apart after a couple of years. He was doing really well in his career, ‘boy wonder’ they called him, and I... wasn’t.” She looked down at her lap. “He changed somehow. He had all these parties and corporate dinners to go to, and he wanted me to go as well. They weren’t fun; they were all about networking and schmoozing, and it helped if you had a pretty girl on your arm. Not that I mean...” she blushed.</p><p>Sidney laughed softly. “I’m sure any man would be proud to have you on his arm, Charlotte.”</p><p>She blushed again.</p><p>“But I wasn’t good enough, Sidney. I wasn’t good at small talk, I was terrible at hiding when I was bored out of my mind, I just wanted to be at home reading my books. And then when I started my PGCE, I had too much studying to do. He used to get annoyed that I wouldn’t come out. When he came home, he’d look at me sitting there in my pyjamas with my hair tied back and... he’d look all disappointed. Oh god,” she put her head in her hands, “I’m making him sound awful, he really wasn’t you know, he was a lovely guy. When we were at uni, we had such fun. We used to go out clubbing all night and come back covered in sweat, fall into bed... he didn’t care what I looked like then.”</p><p>Images sprang into Sidney’s mind. “So he became influenced by money and success, and you were left behind? Sounds familiar.”</p><p>They had now pulled up outside her flat but made no move to say goodbye.</p><p>“It all came to a head one night when he twisted my arm to go to this corporate dinner with him – apparently it was very important, crucial to his career. I did want to support him, really I did. But we had a huge argument. It all started over something stupid.”</p><p>“What?” he tilted his head, gazing at her softly.</p><p>“I had a nice dress on, I’d done my hair, I’d even put some make-up on,” she laughed, “but he said it wasn’t enough. I wasn’t well groomed enough, I still looked like a student. I had heels on, which is something of a rarity for me,” – Sidney grinned, he’d noticed – “but he’d bought me these bloody Christian Louboutins or something, £300, and he wanted me to wear them. He was always buying me things to wear – I mean, oh never mind...”</p><p>She stopped, reddening. Perhaps she shouldn’t mention all the sexy underwear he’d wanted her to parade around in. Sidney flashed her a look and she guessed he had a fair idea what she’d been referring to.</p><p>“So what did you do?” he asked.</p><p>“I threw the bloody shoes out of the window.” She giggled. “I did check first to make sure no one was passing by. He went to the dinner on his own and the next day I packed up my stuff and moved into Georgie’s flat and lived on a camp bed in her living room for eight months.”</p><p>“Oh dear,” said Sidney grinning, “I hope he got the shoes back at least.”</p><p>“Well, six weeks later, he moved a woman from his office into the flat, so I guess she’s wearing them now.”</p><p>Sidney leaned back in his seat and stared out of the window. “Well all I can say, Charlotte, is that he was a bloody fool. If he didn’t appreciate you the way you are, then he didn’t deserve you.”</p><p> </p><p>There was a pause. “Sidney?” she said hesitantly.</p><p>“Yes?” he turned his head.</p><p>“Would you like to... um... come up to the flat? Have a cup of tea?” She glanced up at the darkened windows. “I don’t think Esther’s back yet.”</p><p>Sidney’s eyes widened.</p><p>“I didn’t mean it like that! I just thought you might want to... continue the conversation?” she asked, biting her lip.</p><p>He gazed at her for a moment, unable to reply. All sorts of images and memories were rushing through his head. Things he’d put right to the back of his mind, things he hadn’t spoken or thought about for years; they were all clouding his vision, obscuring Charlotte’s pretty face, looking up at him hopefully.</p><p>Hesitating, he placed his hand on her shoulder. “Maybe another time Charlotte, I’ve got quite a lot of work to finish this evening. But thank you.”</p><p>“Oh.” Her face fell with disappointment. “Well I’m sorry, I’ve taken up too much of your time already. I’d better be off. Goodnight.” She hastily gathered up her bags and began to open the car door.</p><p>Sidney grabbed her arm. “Charlotte. Please. Don’t be like that. Talking about Eliza and dragging up the past has made me feel a little sad, that’s all. But I’m glad I told you. You’re a good listener.”</p><p>“It was good talking to you too,” she said quietly.</p><p>They locked eyes for a moment and it seemed as if time stood still. A wisp of hair had fallen in front of her face and he gently reached forward and tucked it behind her ear, his fingers lingering on her cheek a little as he did so.</p><p>“Goodnight Charlotte.” He leaned forward and gently kissed her forehead.</p><p>She trembled. “Goodnight Sidney. See you tomorrow.”</p><p>She climbed out of the car and made her way to the front door of the building. Just as she was about to put her key in the lock, she turned round. He was still sitting there, looking at her.</p><p> </p><p>Sidney rested his head against the steering wheel and exhaled deeply. He wasn’t even sure himself why he had said no. Half of him wanted to run after her, follow her into the flat and kiss her senseless; the other half of him was too scared of getting hurt, yet again.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Sorry. Blame Eliza! Even when she’s not physically there, she’s still messing his head up…</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Doubts</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>In which Esther probably makes Charlotte even more confused...<br/>And Sidney has an invitation for Charlotte...</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>Saturday morning. Esther was up early and out for a run on the seafront by 9am. Charlotte was still snoozing in bed, having been at the Crown with some of the other teachers last night.</p><p>It was a clear, bright morning with hardly a cloud in the sky, cold but not bitterly so. Esther had done her usual 5k and stopped by the railings on the promenade to do some stretching, thinking she might just run up and down the seafront one more time, before heading back to the flat for a hot shower. She loved running, especially in the mornings. It helped to clear her head of the images and memories that sometimes haunted her dreams in the night, enabling her to put them firmly back in the past and face the day. There weren’t many people about at this time of the morning, so she had the sea, the sky, the horizon, all to herself.</p><p>Stretching one leg out straight and touching the tips of her toes with her fingers, she raised her head and spotted a couple walking towards her. Perhaps not a couple. An elderly lady walking on sticks, being supported by a much younger man. He must be her son, she thought. She stretched the other leg and looked up again; they were approaching and the man was staring curiously at her. She flushed pink, recognising the man from the café, the one who had seemingly not been able to take his eyes off her. As they passed, he gave her a brief nod and an embarrassed smile, then turned to his mother to answer her question to something, smiling and laughing as he did so. Esther watched them retreat. An image of the two men in the café flashed back to her. She now knew where she’d seen Sidney Parker before.</p><p> </p><p>When Esther got back to the flat, Charlotte was sitting in the kitchen, still in pyjamas, sipping a coffee and gazing sleepily out of the window.</p><p>“Hi Esther,” she yawned. “The kettle’s just boiled if you want some tea.” She wasn’t really a morning person, given the choice.</p><p>“Okay, perhaps I’ll have a cuppa before I get in the shower.” Esther made herself a peppermint tea.</p><p>She glanced at Charlotte, who was looking pensive. “You seem a bit preoccupied. What are you thinking about? Or should I say, <em>who</em> are you thinking about?” She grinned.</p><p>Charlotte smiled. “You know me too well.”</p><p>“I thought you seemed a bit quiet last night. What’s he done now?”</p><p>Charlotte sighed and told her the whole story, about what he'd said last week about taking her out, their brief kiss, the traffic jam, their long chat in the car, how he’d told her all about his marriage breaking up, and she’d told him all about James, including stuff she’d never told anyone really, apart from Georgie and her sister Alison.</p><p>“Well,” said Esther. “That’s quite a story.” She paused. “Charlotte, I don’t want to pour cold water on things, but how do you even know it’s true? You only have his word for it.”</p><p>Charlotte looked shocked. “What do you mean? Why on earth would he lie?”</p><p>Esther touched her arm. “I’m not saying he’s lying, darling, I’m just saying… I don’t know, maybe he’s exaggerated a little bit, embroidered the truth. Parents dying in avalanche, brother getting in debt to the Sanditon mafia, wife trapping him into marriage, walking in while she’s bonking her rich lover… I mean, these things do happen, but it sounds a bit like a film!”</p><p>Charlotte frowned. “I see what you mean. But why would he do that?”</p><p>Esther sighed. “Some men, darling – and plenty of women too of course – they like to make themselves look more interesting. Create sympathy and attention. I’ve known a few. One guy I knew was a complete fantasist, he made up a whole life story that had no basis in reality at all, told me he was a Romany gypsy and had special powers. Mind you, he was a bit of a cokehead. I’m not saying Sidney’s like that, not at all, but well… he could just be trying to… you know, get you into bed.”</p><p>Charlotte looked hurt and confused. When she looked up, there were tears in her eyes. “Esther, do you think I’m naïve? Sidney thought I was, because I was worried about Clara and thought that Edward might be preying on her. He said she was old enough to know what she was doing. Now I’m wondering if I’m just the sort of stupid person that takes everything people say on trust.”</p><p>“No darling, please.” Esther gave her a hug. “You mustn’t change. That’s one of the things I love about you, you see the good in people and you want to give them the benefit of the doubt. It’s probably just me, you know projecting my bad experiences onto other people. I have a tendency to do that. I just… I don’t want you to get hurt Charlotte.”</p><p>Charlotte dried her tears with the back of her hand and looked up at her. “I hope you don’t mind me saying Esther, but you are a little… hard on men sometimes. I mean, I know you had an awful start in life, but they’re not all like that, you know. There are good guys out there, I'm sure, more than you might think. I suppose I just assume everyone’s going to be as honest and reliable as my dad.” She smiled ruefully.</p><p>“You have a point,” agreed Esther. “I do find it hard to trust people.”</p><p>“Another thing,” said Charlotte, cheering up a little. “I can’t for the life of me think why Sidney Parker would have to make up stuff about himself to get anyone’s attention. Honestly, Esther, if you meet him face to face – when you meet him – you’ll see what I mean. He’s pretty gorgeous,” she sighed dreamily. “I have no idea why any woman want to cheat on him.”</p><p>“Money, obviously.” Esther pulled a face. “I’ve known women like that. They work in the City for a couple of years, PA or trader even, nab themselves a rich husband, then they’re off to some pile in Essex with its own swimming pool, never work again. You know the type, school run mum in a Chelsea tractor, matching boots and handbag, spends her days at the gym or lunching with friends. But,” she smiled mischievously, “at night, when her fat banker husband is grunting away on top of her, I bet she sometimes wonders what Sidney Parker’s doing. Especially if her husband’s a squeaker!” She cackled loudly.</p><p>“Esther!” Charlotte nearly spat out her coffee. “What do you mean, a squeaker?”</p><p>“Have you never had a squeaker, Charlotte? Of course you haven’t slept with as many as I have. When they come, they kind of squeak - ‘Oooh!’ - and collapse on top of you, dribbling. I bet your Mr Parker isn’t a squeaker, I’m sure he bellows like a wild animal.” Rolling her long finger nails as if they were claws, she let out a loud roar.</p><p>Charlotte was in fits of giggles. “I don’t know, I haven’t really thought about it Esther!”</p><p>“Oh come on, you have, don’t lie. Surely you think about him when you’re masturbating, you imagine what he’d be like in bed? Don’t be embarrassed Charlotte, we all do it. How do you think I’ve managed to stay celibate for so long?”</p><p>“Oh Esther, I love your directness. Yes, okay, I admit I have thought about him. How could I not? But I’m happy to report I’ve never had a squeaker.” She wiped tears of mirth from her eyes.</p><p>“Good choice, Charlotte. Quality over quantity. Wish someone had told me that. Though I’m starting to think I’m in training for a nunnery.”</p><p>“But,” said Charlotte, swirling her coffee cup, “I feel a bit bad really, thinking about him like that. Like an object.”</p><p>“Why should you? I’m quite sure he thinks about you in the same way. Probably all the time. Wow,” she smiled, “when you two finally get together, it’s going to be explosive!”</p><p>Charlotte frowned. “It doesn’t seem like it’s ever going to happen, though. Every time we get close, he pulls back. I invited him up here the other night and he turned me down, so I hardly think he’s just trying to get into my knickers. He implied he hadn't... um... done it for a while, but then neither have I. Oh Esther," she put her head in her hands, "I don’t get it.”</p><p>Esther paused for a while, pondering. “Well there can only be one explanation then, Charlotte. He’s in love with you.”</p><p>“In love?! Oh no, I’m sure he doesn’t…”</p><p>“Charlotte,” she grinned. “What man drives you home week after week for what – six or seven weeks and all he does is give you a quick hug or kiss, or touch your hair? Come on, he’s already promised you a proper date. He’s in love with you and he’s just giving himself time to get used to the idea. Yes, I’m convinced of that now. Well. Let’s just hope he’s one of the good guys. And not a squeaker either.”</p><p>She rose from the table. “I’d better get in the shower. Don’t worry about me and my projections, Charlotte. You trust your instincts. Sometimes that's all you can do.”</p><p>At the door she turned, “Charlotte? You don’t happen to know if Sidney um… has any friends do you?”</p><p>Charlotte laughed. “I thought you were sworn off men!”</p><p>“Well, not permanently darling. Though I’m very picky these days.”</p><p>She explained about recognising Sidney from the café, and the slightly bashful man who had been with him.</p><p>“Oh, that must be Brad,” said Charlotte, smiling. “I haven’t met him properly, but Sidney talks a lot about him. They’ve known each other since they were about ten. Salt of the earth, Sidney calls him. He’s a bit shy I think, hasn’t had a girlfriend for a few years, but he and Sidney are very close.”</p><p>“Well that’s… interesting,” grinned Esther mischievously.</p><p>“Why, you want me to set up a double date?” laughed Charlotte.</p><p>Without replying, but with a small smile at the corner of her mouth, Esther swept out of the room.</p><p> </p><p>****************************************</p><p> </p><p>The following Monday, at breaktime, Charlotte was sitting at one of the desks in the staffroom, sipping her coffee and checking over her notes for the next lesson. The door opened and she looked up. It was Sidney, carrying a mug in his hand. Glancing over at her, he went to fill up his mug from the filter machine in the corner. She continued staring down at her notes. He never hung out in the staffroom that much usually, preferring to get a drink and hurry back to his office. Suddenly, however, she felt his presence beside her and looked up. His deep brown eyes were focused intently on her.</p><p>“Hi Charlotte, can I… ? Is this seat free?” He gestured next to her.</p><p>“Yes, sure.” She looked puzzled. What had she done now?</p><p>He sat down on the chair beside her and put his mug on the table, smiling at her. “Have a good weekend?”</p><p>“Yes thanks. You?” Still puzzled.</p><p>“Hmm, not bad.” His leg brushed against hers, sending a wave of warmth through her.</p><p>Turning towards her, he spoke quietly, looking right into her eyes.</p><p>“Look, I… Charlotte. I just wanted to say sorry for um… turning down your offer the other night. I don’t want you to think I…” Oh god, he was getting it all wrong again. He exhaled and shut his eyes for a brief moment. “All that stuff about my marriage, I know I said I didn’t care but well, it did fuck my head up for a while. The divorce was pretty messy. I didn’t want to be sitting in your flat, all morose, I can do that at home.”</p><p>Charlotte smiled encouragingly at him. “I understand. Even if you know ending the relationship was the right thing to do, you can still feel rejected, can’t you?”</p><p>He nodded, gazing into her eyes. He looked swiftly around the room. Everyone was busy chatting and laughing, or gathering their things together for the next lesson. Charlotte’s hand was resting on the table next to her coffee mug. He placed his left hand on the table next to hers. Very slowly, his thumb began to graze her knuckles, ever so gently. Charlotte gasped, almost inaudibly, as a warm feeling suffused her whole body. How was it possible for such a small touch to feel so erotic?</p><p>The room seemed to disappear around them and all the noise drifted away. There were only the two of them, gazing into each other’s eyes. He continued stroking her hand. “Charlotte,” he whispered, “I would love to come up to your flat one day. Soon. More than anything.”</p><p>He swallowed, his lips quivering. Her throat felt dry and she was unable to respond. She bit her lip. Covering her hand with his, he squeezed it gently and smiled at her. Then he took his hand away.</p><p>“Anyway, I’d better get on. So, are you coming to the match on Wednesday?” he enquired.</p><p>“What match?” asked Charlotte.</p><p>“The teachers versus students football match. We do it every year, just before Christmas. It’s a lot of fun.”</p><p>“Are you playing then?” she asked. She remembered seeing him a couple of times, jogging off to the football pitch on Wednesdays after school.</p><p>“Yes, I’ll be one of the old ones at the back,” he grinned. “Leon’s playing too,” he gestured to a young male teacher walking past, dressed in a tracksuit. “He always attracts a crowd. So is Frances. You know Frances, the new PE teacher?”</p><p>“No, not really,” replied Charlotte, “but I'd love to come and watch. I like football.”</p><p>“Do you really?” He looked surprised. “Who do you support then?”</p><p>“Spurs”. He pulled a face.</p><p>“Oh no, Sidney, you’re not an Arsenal fan are you?” He nodded, grinning.</p><p>“You can go off a person very quickly, you know,” laughed Charlotte.</p><p>“Well, I’ll see you there then, Charlotte. Have a good day.” He gave her an almost imperceptible wink.</p><p>“Bye, you too.” He stood up and walked off, clutching his coffee mug.</p><p>Charlotte couldn’t help beaming to herself. Maybe Esther was right after all. But she could sense a pair of eyes watching her. She looked up; there was Edward, standing a short distance away, staring at her with an amused sneer on his face. Raising his eyebrows at her, he turned and walked away.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Have you ever had a squeaker?! I do hope not.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. The football match</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>It's the teachers versus students football match. Who will be on the team and who's going to score?</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>On Wednesday morning, Charlotte was in the busy, noisy staffroom, getting her books ready for Period 1, when a woman moved into the middle of the room and clapped her hands loudly. The noise dropped. It was the PE teacher, Miss Price, dressed in a dark blue tracksuit, her black hair swept up in a ponytail.</p><p>“Listen everyone!” she said in a loud voice. “Sorry to interrupt.” A sea of faces turned towards her.</p><p>“As you might know, tonight is our annual teachers versus students football match. It’s a mixed match, girls and boys, and we have some women in our team too. Such as me.” She smiled. “But I need your help, we’re a player down due to illness, so if anyone wants to volunteer to play tonight, that’d be great. Doesn’t matter how good you are, it’s the taking part that counts.”</p><p>There was silence in the room. No one volunteered. “Please?” she added pleadingly. “It’s only an hour or so of your time.”</p><p>Charlotte looked around at the others, shaking their heads, then stepped forward. “I’ll play.”</p><p>“Oh!” Frances looked surprised. “Miss… Heywood, isn’t it?”</p><p>“Yes,” smiled Charlotte, walking up to her. The buzz of voices in the room grew louder again. “I haven’t played for a while, but I used to play at university. I mean, unless someone else…?”</p><p>“No, that’s great, um…?”</p><p>“Charlotte.”</p><p>“Okay. That’d be wonderful. It’s only a bit of fun but it’s good to have another woman on the team. The men like to think they know best, but they don’t really.” She smiled. “I’m Frances, by the way, Frances Price.” She extended her hand.</p><p>“Nice to meet you.” Charlotte shook her hand. “So what time’s the match?”</p><p>“Straight after school – tell you what, if you come to the girls’ changing rooms, I’ll find you some kit. What position do you play?”</p><p>“Usually in defence, leftback. Don’t mind really.”</p><p>“Cool. I’ll see you later then. Thanks for saving the day.”</p><p>“Bye, see you later.”</p><p> </p><p>It was 3.40 and Sidney was warming up on the pitch. It was a cold day and his breath formed clouds of steam in the air as he jogged up and down on the spot, stretching his legs. Miss Price bounced over towards him, dressed in her football kit.</p><p>“Hi, Sidney! All ready for the game?” She tossed her ponytail in the air, flashing him a charming smile.</p><p>“Sure,” he replied. He felt flattered by her attention, and had even given her a lift home once after the club when her car had broken down, but he didn’t want to encourage her. She wasn’t a patch on Charlotte.</p><p>“So did you find another player? Anyone volunteer?” he asked.</p><p>“Oh yes,” she smiled. “That new English teacher, what’s her name again…”</p><p>He was stunned. “Charlotte?”</p><p>“Yes, that’s it, Charlotte. She’s just getting changed now. What’s the matter, Sidney? You look shocked. Women do play football you know.” She pouted at him.</p><p>“Yes, I’m fully aware of that, Frances, but I… I didn’t know Charlotte played, that’s all.”</p><p><em>Charlotte Heywood in a football kit.</em> The stuff of his dreams.</p><p>“Yes, apparently she played at university. She doesn’t seem that fit, but… Oh, here she is now.”</p><p>Sidney looked across the pitch. Charlotte was walking towards them, chatting happily to Leon, the handsome young PE teacher. Sidney felt a pang of jealousy. Leon waved goodbye to her and jogged towards the group of students that was gathering on the pitch. Charlotte saw Sidney and grinned.</p><p>“Charlotte,” he smiled, folding his arms. “You <em>are </em>a dark horse. A woman of many talents, I see.”</p><p>She gave him that adorable cheeky smile. “I used to play in one of the teams at uni. I mean, I haven’t played for a while, but it’s only a fun match, isn’t it?”</p><p>Frances was looking curiously from one to the other. “Well, I’ve put you both on the back line,” she explained. “Sidney, you’re on the right, Charlotte on the left. Is that okay?”</p><p>They both nodded. “I guess you’ve put yourself up front?” asked Sidney.</p><p>“Yes of course,” she replied, pouting a little. “Along with Leon. I’d better go and see to the students.”</p><p>Charlotte and Sidney strolled slowly over to the far side of the pitch. “Glad to see you’re not in a Spurs kit, Charlotte,” he laughed.</p><p>She looked up at him. “No, Frances lent me this from the PE store. It’s a little small, but…”</p><p>Yes. He’d noticed that. The shirt was stretched rather tightly across her chest. He daren’t look at her legs in the shorts. Not yet. Her unruly hair was tied up in a ponytail, but some strands were already slipping loose. She had no make-up on as usual, and he could see the little freckles on her nose. He had an urge to kiss those little freckles, over and over. Frances, who was lean and muscular, was always immaculately turned out, her long hair in a neat ponytail and her make-up carefully applied, but there was a hard angularity to her looks that he didn’t like.</p><p>“So, you’re a right-winger are you Sidney?” she teased him, glancing at his muscular arms and the little tufts of chest hair poking out the top of his shirt.</p><p>“Very funny. Now listen, Charlotte, what I suggest we do is that I mark Dwayne Peters – he’s their main striker, and you keep your eye on Charlie Bell. He’s the little nifty one with the dark hair over there. But if you can’t keep up with him, then just keep to your zone and concentrate on the ball…”</p><p>“Sidney,” she frowned, her arms folded. “Stop mansplaining. I have played football before, you know. I know what I’m doing.”</p><p>He tilted his head, looking at her with amusement. “Alright, if you say so.”</p><p>A crowd of students, teachers and parents had gathered excitedly by the side of the pitch. The ref blew the whistle and the game began.</p><p>It was a fast-paced game and the students – mostly boys, but there were two or three girls in the team – did not let the teachers off lightly. They were very competitive and eager to win. Charlotte soon realised that playing against fellow female students five or six years ago was quite a different ballgame to playing a bunch of 15 and 16 year olds. She was lacking in fitness, she knew, and at times found it hard to keep up the pace. When she was one-on-one with Charlie Bell, she gave as good as she got and made a few nifty saves, but the problem was keeping up with him as he darted about the pitch. On more than one occasion, she lost her man and Sidney, or the centreback, Mr Woodhouse, had to step in and defend. She was getting hot and sweaty, despite the cold, and feeling rather uncomfortable in the tight kit she had been loaned. Just before half-time, Dwayne Peters came charging down the line and curled the ball into the net. The keeper missed, the crowd cheered and the whistle blew.</p><p>Charlotte leaned forwards, resting her hands on her knees, panting. Sidney strolled over to her.</p><p>She looked up and smiled at him, shaking her head. “Bloody hell, they’re fast, aren’t they? Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. I didn’t realise how out of practice I was.”</p><p>He patted her on the back. “Don’t worry, Charlotte, it’s only a bit of fun. Just stay in your zone, and we’ll cover you if we need to.”</p><p>She frowned. That wasn’t very complimentary of him. She watched as he walked off towards the other teachers. Frances handed him a drink and he stayed there chatting to her. Charlotte, feeling disheartened and pretty exhausted already, sat down on the grass and gazed around at the crowds of people, the muddy pitch, the grey sky. <em>What was she doing here?</em> She wished the ground would swallow her up.</p><p>Suddenly, Sidney was towering over her, looking down with concern. He held out his hand. “Charlotte, what are you doing? Get up, you should have a drink at least.” She took his hand and he pulled her up gently. His touch lingered. “Come on.”</p><p>She looked up at him, biting her lip nervously. “Sidney, is there someone they can replace me with? I don’t think I’m being much use.”</p><p>He smiled. “Don’t doubt yourself. You’re doing fine.”</p><p>Briefly caressing her back, he manoeuvred her over towards the others.</p><p> </p><p>The second half was a big improvement. Charlotte was getting into the swing of the game and made a particularly good block. Beaming, Sidney gave her a high-five. The ball then went up the other end and Leon scored for the teachers. Frances jumped up and down, hugging him. 1-1.</p><p>Ten minutes to go. Frances had the ball and was heading towards the box when one of the Year 11 boys shot his foot out and brought her to the ground in an awkward tackle. She rolled over and cried out in pain.</p><p>“Sorry Miss!” said the boy.</p><p>“Ow! My ankle!” she cried.</p><p>Sidney sprinted up the pitch to see what was going on. Charlotte watched as he crouched down and talked to Frances, touching her left ankle briefly. It seemed to be sprained and he helped her hobble to the side of the pitch, where another teacher brought her a chair to sit on. Charlotte could see her smiling up at Sidney, holding onto his arm. Fanny Price, she muttered under her breath. I never liked Fanny Price.</p><p>The ref gave a free kick but, unfortunately, Leon failed to convert it. Sidney jogged back to his position and glanced over at Charlotte. She continued staring straight ahead, ignoring him and concentrating on the ball. With just a couple of minutes to go, Charlie Bell came darting through and Charlotte, momentarily distracted, failed to catch him. He faced the box, stuck out his foot and scored.</p><p>The students went wild, on and off the pitch, hugging and cheering. Charlotte looked down dejectedly, refusing to look over at Sidney. <em>What a fuck up,</em> she thought. She’d been looking forward to this match; on Monday, Sidney had invited her to come and watch it. Maybe he’d intended to drive her home afterwards, invite himself in for a drink. Why the hell had she volunteered? She hadn’t even been thinking about him when she did so, she just wanted to help.</p><p>Shortly afterwards, the whistle blew and the students erupted in cheers again. 2-1 to them. Sidney came over and patted her on the back. “Cheer up, Charlotte, it’s only a game.”</p><p>Frances was calling him over. “Excuse me a minute.” He jogged over and she watched as he helped Frances up to her feet. As she draped her arm over his shoulder, Leon came to take the other side and they began to hobble with her back to the school building.</p><p><em>Sod this</em>, thought Charlotte, <em>I’m not giving up that easily! </em>Gritting her teeth, she walked swiftly towards them.</p><p>“Hi,” she said brightly, “can I help at all?” She looked pointedly at Leon.</p><p>“Sure,” he said, “do you think you can help take Frances back to the changing rooms Charlotte? I really ought to go and sort out the goalposts and stuff.”</p><p>Charlotte smiled sweetly. “No problem.”</p><p>Sidney and she escorted Frances to the girls’ changing room. “You can’t come in here you know, Sidney!” simpered Frances.</p><p>“Okay, I’ll go and get some ice for your ankle. I’ll be back in a minute.” He shot a look at Charlotte, who gave him a forced smile.</p><p>She and Frances entered the empty changing room; the female students had already gone home. She helped Frances sit down on a bench.</p><p>“How is it? Do you think you need an X-ray?” she asked with affected concern.</p><p>“Oh no, I think it’s just sprained. I’ll need a lift home though, as I ran to school this morning. Wanted to get fit for the match, you see. I expect Sidney will give me a lift home, he’s done so before.”</p><p>It was like a shot to Charlotte’s heart. <em>He gave her lifts home too.</em></p><p>“So annoying, I’m sure I would have scored if that Matthew Jones hadn’t brought me down. Shame about that last goal though Charlotte, wasn’t it?” She gave her a pointed look.</p><p>“Yes, sorry,” said Charlotte distractedly.</p><p>Frances was still prattling on. “Sidney’s sexy, isn’t he?” she whispered. “Do you think he’s single?”</p><p>“I wouldn’t know,” replied Charlotte. “I hardly know him.”</p><p>Just then, Sidney came back in the changing room with a pack of ice. He kneeled down on the floor and pressed it against Frances’ ankle. “How’s that?” he smiled up at her. Charlotte could see the neat outline of his bum through his shorts and his muscular, rather hairy legs. But she really didn’t care any more. She sat down dejectedly on another bench, some distance away.</p><p>Frances was simpering at Sidney again. “I’m so sorry, Sidney, you’ll have to give me a lift home again. Do you mind?”</p><p>“No, not at all.” He looked over at Charlotte. “Do you want a lift too, Charlotte?” he said softly. She looked up and caught his eye. He was staring at her intently.</p><p>“Sure, okay, thanks.” Frances’ smile fell.</p><p>“Right, well I’ll just go and get changed and I’ll meet you two ladies at the front in five minutes. Do you think you can manage to get there without me?”</p><p>“Yes I’m sure we can,” said Charlotte. “See you in a minute.”</p><p>There was silence after he left. Charlotte picked up her own bag and coat as well as Frances’ things. She offered her an arm which Frances took without speaking. Together they hobbled to the front entrance and followed Sidney to his car.</p><p>“You go in the back, Frances, it’ll be easier if you put your leg up on the seat. That’s it. I think you’ll be needing a day or two off work; I shall have a word with that Matthew Jones, that was a nasty tackle.” Frances settled herself in the back, rather subdued.</p><p>“Charlotte.” He opened the passenger door for her. She was still wearing her football kit, she hadn’t wanted to change in front of Frances.</p><p>Sidney put the key in the ignition. He looked in the rear mirror at Frances, lying in a somewhat undignified manner on the back seat. “I think we’ll take you home first Frances, yes? You need to get that ankle up and ice it some more.”</p><p>“Oh but, doesn’t Charlotte live closer?” asked Frances, who lived on the other side of town.</p><p>“Err no, I don’t think so,” replied Sidney. He glanced over at Charlotte and gave her a quick smile. She said nothing.</p><p>When they arrived at Frances’ small terraced house, Sidney helped her out of the car and to the front door. Then he came back and slid in next to Charlotte. He exhaled, glancing over at her. She was still silent, looking out the window. The car began to move.</p><p>“What’s up Charlotte? You’re very quiet. That’s not like you.”</p><p>“Oh nothing, just tired I guess.” She continued gazing out the window.</p><p>They drove in silence. Sidney was at a loss for words. This wasn’t like her. Was it because of the goal she’d let in? Was it because of Frances? She had been particularly flirty with him today. Was Charlotte jealous? How could he ask her that without sounding arrogant? He glanced across at Charlotte. Her hair was all mussed up and there was dried sweat along her hairline. She even had specks of mud on her face. He smiled. She looked adorable. Then he looked down at her legs. It had been a long time since he’d seen that much of her exposed flesh, probably not since the day at the beach when she’d risen out of the water like a seductive mermaid. Oh god. Her shorts had ridden right up her thighs, but she seemed oblivious, so intent she was on sulking. <em>Keep your eyes on the road Sidney</em>. He glanced back again. Her bosom was heaving as she sighed. Her thighs were creamy white, deliciously plump. He could glimpse the outline of her knickers through the thin white fabric of her shorts. He swallowed. He could feel himself growing hard.</p><p>He pulled up outside her flat and turned the engine off. Undoing the seat belt, she leaned down to get her bag.</p><p>“Charlotte, aren’t you going to talk to me?”</p><p>She looked up, her expression blank. “What do you want me to say? I was crap, wasn’t I?”</p><p>Oh, so it was just the football. He smiled softly at her. “No you weren’t. Don’t be silly.” He leaned across and, with his thumb, gently brushed some of the mud off her face. “Here, you’ve got a bit of…”</p><p>She pushed him away violently. “Get off! Just stop it! Stop… fannying around with me, and stop fannying around with that bloody Fanny, just leave me alone!” She had tears in her eyes but her face was red with fury.</p><p>Shocked, Sidney withdrew his hands. “Charlotte, what the fuck are you talking about? Who’s Fanny?”</p><p>“Fanny! Fanny Price! God, I never liked that book. Although she’s more of a Mary Crawford, thinking about it.”</p><p>Sidney was utterly perplexed. “Are you talking about Miss Price?”</p><p>“Yes!” She shouted, glaring at him. “Do you do that to her too when you drive her home? Do you touch her hair and squeeze her hands? Does she invite you in for coffee? Do you kiss her?” She slumped forwards, her head in her hands. “What am I even doing here?” She turned to open the car door but Sidney grabbed her arm.</p><p>“No, Charlotte, you’ve got it all wrong. I’m not interested in <em>her</em>. I took her home once, yes, when her car was broken down, but I never went in her house. I couldn’t care fucking less about her. It’s you I want.”</p><p>She turned to look at him. He was breathing heavily, begging her with his eyes, his arm resting on the dashboard.</p><p>“Why would you want me?” she asked quietly. “I’m overweight, I’m unfit, I’m a hot, sweaty, muddy mess, I can’t even play football properly any more.”</p><p>Sidney grinned. “That’s precisely why I like you.”</p><p>“What?” She was puzzled.</p><p>“First, you’re not overweight, not at all. Okay, you might be lacking a bit of fitness, but so what? Yeah, that was an easy goal you let in. Shocking. But the hot, sweaty and muddy bit, Charlotte, I fucking love that.”</p><p>She looked up. “Really?”</p><p>He nodded. “Come here.” He moved towards her. Cupping her face in his hands, he kissed her forehead, then her nose, and, finally, her mouth. Gently, at first, just brushing her lips, then more deeply. Sighing with pleasure, he pulled her head towards his chest. So perfect. He wanted to stay like that forever, holding her in his arms.</p><p>She nuzzled against his neck, then looked up again meekly. “Sorry for shouting at you. I just felt so rubbish next to her.”</p><p>“Can we forget about her please? She’s really not my type. I have to say though, Charlotte, I did think you were quite friendly with Leon. Made me a little jealous.”</p><p>“Leon?” She laughed. “He’s just a boy. I don’t want a boy, Sidney.” She gazed mischievously at him and he leaned forward and kissed her again.</p><p>This time, the kiss was much deeper and more passionate. They explored each other's mouths hungrily as he wrapped his arms around her, gently stroking the back of her head, tousling her hair. She slipped her arms under his jacket and around his waist. He moved his lips to her neck, inhaling the scent of her skin, but she drew him back to her mouth and shifted forwards, pressing her body tightly against his chest as her hands grabbed the back of his shirt. He could feel her soft breasts gently rubbing against him. Oh god, he would have to stop before…</p><p>He broke free. “Is Esther home?” Leaning against her forehead, looking right into her eyes, he was panting slightly.</p><p>“Um… yeah, she is." She giggled. "So much for waiting for Christmas."</p><p>"Well," he smiled, moving his hand to her bum and gently stroking and squeezing it, "you shouldn't be so bloody irresistible, Charlotte Heywood. Sitting there in your tight football kit with your shorts halfway up your..."</p><p>"Oi!" she punched him playfully. "You shouldn't have been looking."</p><p>"How could I not?" He kissed her again, once, twice, three times, his hand gently edging inside the hem of her shorts.</p><p>"Look," she said, pulling away, "I think I’ll go and have a shower. I’ll see you tomorrow, won’t I? After Drama Club? Esther’s usually late home on Thursdays.” A secretive smile.</p><p>He sat back, gazing adoringly at her. "That would be... perfect. Goodnight, Charlotte."</p><p>She opened the door and climbed out. “Goodnight then, Sidney.”</p><p> </p><p>Charlotte entered the kitchen, where Esther was standing at the stove, stirring a large saucepan. She looked up at Charlotte, her mouth twitching.</p><p>“Charlotte, why are you wearing a football kit?”</p><p>Charlotte explained. “I see. Good match, was it? Did you win?”</p><p>“No,” replied Charlotte, “2-1 to the students. My fault, probably.”</p><p>“Never mind,” said Esther. “I see you scored though.” She was unable to suppress a burst of laughter.</p><p>“Esther! You weren’t watching, were you?” accused Charlotte, hands on hips.</p><p>“Well, I glanced out the window, but I was beginning to feel like a voyeur, so I moved away.” She grinned mischievously. “Finally, then? You didn’t want to invite him up?”</p><p>“Well…” Charlotte waved her hands at the space around them.</p><p>“Don’t worry, Charlotte, Drama club tomorrow night, isn’t it? I’ll make sure I’m home late.”</p><p>Charlotte smiled. “I’d better get a shower, I’m all sweaty and dirty. Though he says he likes me sweaty and dirty.” She shook her head disbelievingly.</p><p>“Well, there’s no accounting for taste, you know,” called Esther as Charlotte headed off to the bathroom.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sidney pulled up outside his house and switched the engine off. He leaned back in his seat and stared up at the roof of the car, closed his eyes and chuckled in disbelief. He reached in his pocket for his phone and typed in a message:</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>- Brad. I kissed her again. Properly this time. I think I’m in love.</em>
</p><p>He waited. Not long after, there came a reply.</p><p><em>- Just a kiss? Losing your touch in your old age? </em> <em>😊</em></p><p><em>- It’s the staff Christmas do on Friday. </em> <em>😉</em></p><p>
  <em>- I’m happy for you Sid.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Guess what? She plays football. I think I’ve met the perfect woman. Spurs fan, though. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Oh well, you can’t have everything. Does she have a friend??</em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I struggled with making Sidney an Arsenal fan, but he has to have some faults!</p><p>Mansfield Park, Jane Austen, 1814.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. The kitchen sink</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>In which we go on a tour of Sidney's house, ending up at the kitchen sink...</p><p>Thanks for all your lovely comments!</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>Charlotte woke up on Thursday morning with a big smile on her face, sighing contentedly as she gazed at the ceiling. She checked the alarm: 7am. Georgie would probably just be getting up for work, she hadn't contacted her in a while. She grabbed her phone from the bedside table and typed in a message:</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>- Georgie, guess what?</em>
</p><p>Maybe she was in the shower or something. But she didn’t have to wait long.</p><p>
  <em>- It’s rudely early. What’s up?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- He kissed me Georgie. When he dropped me off last night.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Sidney?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Who else?!</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Okay. Good. You happy?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Ecstatic. He’s lovely, Georgie, I so want you to meet him. </em>
</p><p>She wished Georgie could show a little more enthusiasm.</p><p>
  <em>- I’m sure I will. Just – be careful Char.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Why are you always telling me that??</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Sometimes you’re too trusting. He’s your boss remember.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- But I’ve known him for nearly 4 months now! We’ve talked loads.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Okay. I just care about you. When are you seeing him again?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Tonight.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Well remember to use a condom!!</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Of course. What are you, my mum? How’s Otis?</em>
</p><p><em>- </em> <em>😊</em> <em> Beautiful. Taking me to the theatre on Friday to see Small Island.</em></p><p>
  <em>- Wow. Have a great time.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Thanks. Better go. Just remember about the condom, okay?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Yes, mum! Speak soon xxx</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- xxx</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Charlotte frowned. <em>Was she too trusting? Was she ready to sleep with him yet?</em> She wasn’t sure. If she invited him up tonight, or went to his house even, he didn’t seem like the kind of guy who would expect it. Or would he? It had been a while since she’d had sex with anyone – James was the last – and she felt nervous about the prospect, even though kissing Sidney had felt like the most natural and the most wonderful thing in the world. He’d also said once that he hadn’t… been with a woman in a while, or at least implied it. Did that mean he’d be gagging for it? No, he wasn’t some crazed beast.</p><p>Why was Georgie so wary of him? It seemed as if she had let that first ugly incident at the pub prejudice her against Sidney, and against Sanditon. Bit ironic really. Never mind. She swung her legs out of bed and went through to the bathroom to get ready for work.</p><p> </p><p>*******************************</p><p> </p><p>Sidney was sitting in his office that afternoon, trying to focus on the file open on his computer, and failing. He’d breezed around the school that morning as if he was treading on air, smiling at everyone he passed. He’d had a word with Matthew about the tackle on Miss Price, but they’d kind of joked about it; he didn’t have the heart to tell him off. At lunchtime he spotted Charlotte in the canteen and their eyes met. He felt as bashful as a teenage boy again; it was years since he could remember feeling this kind of unadulterated joy.</p><p>Back to work. He was trying to update the uniform policy, more specifically, the non-uniform policy, the dress code for days when the students were allowed to wear their own clothes, usually at the end of term or to support a charity. They were planning to have a 'tag day', as it was called, next week on the very last day of term. This had been a huge bone of contention last year and some of the older girls had staged a protest because they weren’t allowed to wear shorts in the middle of summer. They had come to school in their uniforms instead, their skirts hitched up as high as they could. A few of the bolder boys had supported them by coming to school in skirts as well, advocating a gender-neutral policy. The protest had even made the local press. To make things even more confusing, boys <em>were </em>allowed to wear shorts on non-uniform days, but not as part of their uniform, something they complained about when it was hot. Luckily, being England, there were only about five really hot days every summer. But it was all such a minefield.</p><p>They’d had a long discussion about it among the SLT, together with Mrs Denham and some of the students involved in the protest; Sidney had got quite weary of the whole thing and irritated at some of the assumptions made by Mrs Denham, and even his colleague Ms Elliot, about the effect that the girls’ clothing might have on the boys and male teachers. The upshot was, however, that girls were allowed to wear shorts on tag days as long as they were ‘modest’. It was winter now, but there was still a huge list of do’s and don’ts.</p><p>‘Skirts and shorts must be no shorter than 6cm above the knee…’ he typed. Oh dear. That made him think about Charlotte in her football shorts again . Pretty mindblowing thought. That image had been in his mind all night, as he'd fantasised about putting his hand between her thighs, reaching inside her shorts and gently teasing her with his fingers. What her reaction might be. Oh god, he mustn’t think about that. Perhaps he’d better leave the uniform policy for another day.</p><p>He felt slightly nervous about tonight though. Was she expecting it? Would he live up to her expectations? He’d never had any complaints, it was true, but for some inexplicable reason he felt apprehensive. He wanted everything to be so perfect with her. Maybe she wasn’t quite ready; even though she’d been very passionate last night, and holding her in his arms and kissing her had felt like the most natural thing in the world, she’d pulled back when she could sense his growing excitement. He really didn’t mind. Just being with her would be enough; holding her, kissing her, touching her. Though he’d slipped some condoms in his wallet, just in case. He sighed. Was he really in love, as he’d said to Brad? Did she feel the same way?</p><p> </p><p>Suddenly, his phone rang. <em>Mary. </em>He frowned. <em>What now?</em></p><p>Five minutes later, he put the phone down heavily on his desk and sighed with annoyance. Damn. Oh well, there was always the Christmas do on Friday night. Grunting, he turned back to his computer.</p><p> </p><p>***************************************</p><p> </p><p>It was 4pm. The Drama club was in full swing; it was their last rehearsal before the performance next week and the students were excited about showing their compositions to the whole school. Charlotte felt proud of them; only a few had dropped out along the way and she was delighted at how enthused they’d been about making up their own sketches, rather than just reading from a script. She was also rather nervous. Soon, Sidney would be coming along to offer her a lift home. She was wearing a skirt, and had just about managed to find some matching underwear in her drawers that morning, but her lacy blue bra felt rather tight. She was definitely putting on weight.</p><p>She was facing the stage, acting as a pretend audience, when one of the students looked up. “Oh, there’s Mr Parker.” Already? She turned her head. Sidney was walking towards her with three children in tow. Jenny, Alicia and Henry. Henry bounced up to her. “Hello Charlotte!” he cried eagerly. The students on the stage all laughed.</p><p>Embarrassed, Charlotte looked up at Sidney, perplexed. She hadn’t realised he’d had a family outing in mind. He bent down towards her. “Miss Heywood. Can I have a quick word?” She nodded.</p><p>“Okay everyone, carry on and I’ll be with you in a sec.”</p><p>She and Sidney moved to the side of the hall, the children plonking themselves down on the hard plastic chairs to watch the show.</p><p>“Charlotte, I’m in a bit of a tight spot. Mary dumped the kids on me – she was asked to work tonight last minute, apparently they have late evening surgeries on Thursdays – and unfortunately Susan and Diana are away in the Canaries for a week. So...umm... they're staying with me tonight.” He shrugged and gave her a look, as if to say ‘Sorry, what can I do?’</p><p>“The thing is, I forgot about this bloody Governors’ meeting and it’s starting right now. Would you be an angel and keep them here with you? If it’s a problem, don’t worry, I’ll just stick them at the back of the meeting room with their iPads or something.” He looked a bit stressed and Charlotte felt sorry for him.</p><p>“Of course not, Sidney.” She gave him a beautiful smile. “They’ll enjoy watching what we’re doing. Well, the girls will. Not sure Henry will get the message.”</p><p>He looked deeply into her brown eyes. “You’re a wonder, you know that?”</p><p>“So I’ve been told.”</p><p>There was a pause as he seemed to lose his gaze in her features. “I’ll try and get away by five, but I can’t guarantee it. Do you mind?”</p><p>“Not at all. You’d better get along.”</p><p> </p><p>By the time his meeting finished, it was 5.15. Feeling annoyed, and guilty about leaving her for so long, he rushed over to the hall. He paused in the doorway. She was kneeling on the floor, waving her arms about and telling a story to the children, who were transfixed. He stopped and watched for a minute, smiling to himself. This was the woman he’d spent his life waiting for.</p><p>She looked up. “Sidney! You’re spying on us.” The children turned and waved.</p><p>“Charlotte’s telling us a story about a mermaid,” said Jenny.</p><p>“Not a very nice mermaid,” said Henry, looking as if he was about to cry.</p><p>Charlotte touched his shoulder. “Don’t worry, Henry, it’s only a story.”</p><p>“Right,” said Sidney, “Well, we’d better get going. We’ve kept Charlotte long enough.”</p><p>“Oh, but we haven’t finished the story!” cried Henry. “I want to know the end!”</p><p>“Can’t Charlotte come back with us?” asked Alicia.</p><p>“Well?” asked Sidney, smiling at her softly. “You want to come back for a cup of tea? At my place?”</p><p>“I’d love to.” She blushed.</p><p> </p><p>Climbing into the passenger seat once again, she looked round at the three children sitting expectantly in the back. It was an odd feeling. Anyone looking at them might have assumed they were a normal family, taking their children home for the night. She glanced over at Sidney and he gave her a shy smile. It was dark in the car park and no one was around. He leaned across and kissed her gently, placing his hand on her knee as he did so. Just then, something flashed in her eyes. She looked up towards the staffroom and caught a glimpse of a shadow against the window. She shook herself.</p><p>"I'm really sorry about this, Charlotte," he said as he started up the car.</p><p>"Don't worry about it," she replied. "Err... you are coming to the Christmas party tomorrow night, aren't you?" she asked shyly.</p><p>"I wouldn't miss it for the world," he said, giving her a knowing look.</p><p>"Good." A complicit smile, followed by a delicious pause.</p><p> </p><p>“So, you’re quite the storyteller?” he asked.</p><p>“Oh, I have a friend who does storytelling for children in a community centre in London. Somehow they respond better when you do it as a performance, rather than just reading from a book.”</p><p>“What was it about?”</p><p>“The Mermaid of Zennor. Do you know it?” He shook his head.</p><p>Charlotte explained that it was a Cornish legend about a mermaid who shifted shape and made people disappear from the village.</p><p>“I might have to change the ending so Henry’s not too scared, though. Do you know Zennor? It’s near St Ives.” He shook his head again.</p><p>“Georgie and I went on a literary camping tour in the South West last summer. It was such fun. We went to Hardy country in Dorset, of course, near where my parents live, Agatha Christie’s house in Devon, Daphne du Maurier hunting in Cornwall – you know, Jamaica Inn – and then to Zennor. It feels like the last village on earth; I don’t think they’d ever seen anyone quite like Georgie there. DH Lawrence lived there during World War One with his German wife, but the locals weren’t very happy about it. Oh sorry,” she laughed, “I’m going into English teacher mode again. You do know some of these writers don’t you?”</p><p>Sidney thought. “I know Agatha Christie, yes. And Thomas Hardy, wasn’t he the miserable one? Not sure who DH Lawrence is though, sorry.”</p><p>“You’ve not heard of Lady Chatterley’s Lover?”</p><p>“Oh, the sex book.” He grinned.</p><p>“It’s not really all about sex.” She paused, turning round to look at the children in the back, who were busy staring at Jenny’s iPad. “He just used a few four-letter words, so it was banned until the 60s. The judge at the obscenity trial said something like ‘Would you let your wife or your servants read it?’ Oh, I’m talking too much again, sorry.”</p><p>Sidney laughed. “You carry on, I like it. So you like camping do you?” He could never have imagined Eliza sleeping in a tent. Perhaps he could go with Charlotte sometime. The thought of lying close to her in a tent under the stars made him feel somewhat hot and bothered.</p><p>“Yeah,” she enthused, “it was great fun. Although Georgie moaned about not being able to do her hair properly. We didn’t just visit museums and stuff, we went to the beach a lot too. Even tried surfing, but I was pretty rubbish at it.” She laughed. “I prefer swimming.”</p><p>“I know.” He looked across at her adoringly. “Why were you telling them a story about a mermaid?”</p><p>She blushed a little. “The kids said that you said I was a mermaid and it just gave me an idea. Why did you say that?”</p><p>Throwing his head back, he chuckled softly. “They made me watch that bloody Disney film once – what is it, Ariel – and I said you were a mermaid. That’s what you looked like the first time I saw you, Charlotte. Well, the second time. A beautiful mermaid rising out of the sea. I couldn’t take my eyes off you.” His eyes met hers.</p><p>“You should be careful Sidney,” she replied. “Mermaids are known for luring ships onto the rocks and taking men down to the depths with them.”</p><p>“I’ll take my chances,” he whispered.</p><p> </p><p>They drew up in front of Sidney’s small semi-detached house. It had a messy front garden and a garage, but he left the car on the road. “Too many bikes,” he grinned. The children jumped out of the car and ran up to the front door. Alicia tugged on Sidney’s sleeve.</p><p>“I heard you talking. Can we watch The Little Mermaid again, please Sidney?”</p><p>“No,” said Henry crossly, “It’s boring. I want to watch Cars 2!”</p><p>“We’ll see,” said Sidney, “Charlotte has to finish her story first. Then we’ll have dinner...”</p><p>“You know,” said Charlotte to the children, “I don’t really look like Ariel at all. You should meet my friend Esther. She has beautiful long red hair and sparkling green eyes, she looks just like her.”</p><p>Sidney turned to her as he pushed the key in the lock. “Really? She’s a student isn’t she?”</p><p>“Yes, that’s right, at Brighton Uni.” They entered the house, Charlotte nearly tripping over some shoes that had been left by the front door.</p><p>“Welcome to my humble abode,” grinned Sidney. “Does Esther ever go to the Lighthouse café, do you know, Charlotte?”</p><p>“Yes, she likes it there, they do good veggie options.”</p><p>“I think I’ve seen her,” he continued, taking them through into the lounge. “I was with Brad. He was quite smitten with her.”</p><p>Charlotte was surprised. “Well, she’s um... definitely single, but I don’t know, she’s a bit picky when it comes to men. She’s had some bad experiences in the past.”</p><p>“So has Brad,” said Sidney sadly. He had a girlfriend for eight years, but it all went wrong unfortunately. He’s been on his own ever since.”</p><p>“Story, story!” shouted Henry.</p><p>“Henry, say please,” scolded Jenny.</p><p>“Why don’t you finish your story here while I put the kettle on?” Sidney disappeared off to the kitchen.</p><p> </p><p>Charlotte sat on the floor with the children and looked around her. Fairly basic, functional, pretty messy. Standard bloke stuff really. A few DVDs, the odd book. A large, framed, black and white picture of a vintage cycling race on one wall, and a slightly faded photo in a frame on the mantelpiece. She knelt up to look. A much younger, but very unmistakable Sidney, an extremely handsome young Sidney, was smiling broadly for the camera, standing alongside what must be his sister, his two brothers, and his parents. Everyone looked carefree and happy.</p><p>She finished her tale and as she came to the last dramatic line, noticed Sidney watching her from the doorway again.</p><p>“Right you lot, I think you’ve monopolised Charlotte long enough. You play while we have a cup of tea in the kitchen, okay?”</p><p>“Um... could I use your loo first, please?” she asked.</p><p>“Sure. Jenny, can you show Charlotte where the bathroom is?”</p><p>“I’ll come! I’ll come!” shouted Alicia and Henry simultaneously. She followed all three children up the stairs.</p><p>“Come and see our bedrooms first,” said Jenny proudly. She took Charlotte by the hand into a large bedroom, decorated in pink and purple, with two single beds and piles of teddies on the duvet. There was a small wardrobe in the corner, a box of toys on the floor, and a bookshelf filled with books.</p><p>“Come and see MY room!” shouted Henry. “It’s much better than theirs!” He took Charlotte across the landing to a small bedroom, also filled with toys and books. There was a Thomas the Tank Engine duvet cover on his bed.</p><p>“Oh, I used to love Thomas!” enthused Charlotte.</p><p>“Choo, choo!” bellowed Henry.</p><p>“But please,” said Charlotte to the girls, “where’s the toilet?”</p><p> </p><p>They showed her and she gratefully stepped inside and locked the door. The seat was up of course; she lowered it gingerly. As she sat, she looked around. The sink was covered in shaving paraphernalia, there were cans of shaving foam and bottles of shower gel strewn around and a pile of wet towels on the floor. She grinned. She had three older brothers, she was used to this. Washing her hands at the sink, she looked at herself in the mirror and tidied her hair. It was odd to think that he stood here every morning and night, looking in the mirror too.</p><p>It was quiet on the landing as the children had disappeared downstairs. Across the corridor, the door of another bedroom was open. She crept towards the entrance and peeped inside. His bed was unmade, his clothes were thrown across a chair, yesterday’s football kit and socks were littered on the floor. Again, there was that indefinable masculine smell, mixed with his aftershave. It made her quite giddy.</p><p>In the kitchen, he was leaning against the counter, clasping a mug of tea. The children had disappeared to the lounge where they were playing happily. He looked up at her and smiled, then poured her a cup of tea. As he handed her the steaming mug, his fingers briefly touched hers. They drank in silence for a while, not knowing what to say.</p><p>“Thank you so much for looking after them for me. You saved the day again.”</p><p>“It’s fine, I enjoyed it. You have a lovely house.” <em>Was that all she could think to say?</em></p><p>He shrugged. “I think it’s a bit ugly really. I needed to buy somewhere quick after I came back from Kenya and I’ve never bothered looking anywhere else. But what does it matter, a house is a house. It’s just for sleeping in. Like a car, it serves a purpose.”</p><p>“And bikes?”</p><p>“Oh, they’re different. They have personalities. Like horses.” He grinned.</p><p>“If you say so.” She rolled her eyes. “Where would you like to live then, ideally?”</p><p>“I don’t know, maybe in the countryside. Little cottage. Not on my own though.” He looked down at his tea.</p><p>“I spent most of my life in the country, I couldn’t wait to get away! But you’re right, it’s probably nicer if you’ve... got a family.” She bit her lip.</p><p>There was a pause. He looked up. “Excuse me, I’m being rude, you must be starving. He turned round and reached into the cupboard. “Have a biscuit, they’re chocolate Hobnobs.” He offered her the packet.</p><p>“Oh no, it’s alright,” she said, waving him away.</p><p>“Why not? You must be hungry, surely.”</p><p>“I’m just... trying not to eat things like that at the moment, that’s all.”</p><p>“Why ever not?” he said, puzzled.</p><p>“Because... because... I’m putting on weight, that’s all. You saw me yesterday, puffing and panting on the pitch.”</p><p>“Charlotte! That’s rubbish. Come on, have one.”</p><p>“Okay then.” She rolled her eyes and took one.</p><p>“Seriously though, Charlotte, you don’t really think you’re overweight, do you? You look pretty good to me.” <em>Good enough to eat</em>, he thought. She was wearing a black skirt and a light blue, silky shirt, which she’d pulled out over her skirt. It wasn’t tight by any means, but he could clearly see the curve of her full breasts.</p><p>She blushed. “I suppose it’s because I’m surrounded by so many skinny women. Esther eats like a horse but she never puts on weight. Mind you, she does go running every day. Georgie’s like a beanpole, and even Frances Price...”</p><p>“No,” he cut her off, “you’re not allowed to compare yourself to her. She’s like a bloody ironing board.”</p><p>Charlotte looked down at her tea. “Well, sometimes I just feel a bit... big, that’s all. I know it’s stupid, and I’m always telling the girls at school they shouldn’t compare themselves to women in magazines or on the telly, but you just start to think that’s how you’re supposed to be, that that’s what men want.” She looked down, embarrassed.</p><p>“Charlotte, that’s all bollocks. Men like curvy women. A guy likes to have something to hold onto, you know.” He demonstrated with his hands.</p><p>She very nearly spat her mouthful of hot tea all over the kitchen floor. Spluttering and coughing, she rushed over to the sink, holding her hands to her mouth. “Sorry!”</p><p>Concerned, he came over and patted her on the back. “Here, have a glass of water.”</p><p>She looked up at him; she was crying with laughter and embarrassment. “Oh Sidney, you...” she carried on coughing. “Sorry, it went down the wrong way. Oh god, what must you think of me?” she said, still laughing.</p><p>Suddenly, she felt his arms encircle her waist. Standing behind her, he edged closer so that they were both pressed up against the sink. He gently took both her hands in his and rested them on the worktop. Lowering his head, he brushed his lips against her neck and her hair. She could feel his hot breath in her ear.</p><p>“I’ll tell you what I think, Charlotte. I think you’re perfect, just as you are.”</p><p>He placed one of his hands gently on her waist. She felt as if her insides had turned to liquid. Kissing her neck softly and lifting his other hand from the sink, he tentatively stroked one of her breasts. Her breath hitched and she gave out a slight moan. Slipping his hand under her blouse, he caressed her breasts, squeezing them lightly. Gripping the worktop tightly, she could feel his gentle pressure behind her, knocking against her back. Then he turned her round and looked deep into her eyes, holding her shoulders.</p><p>“You’re beautiful, Charlotte.” Bending down, he brushed his lips against hers, teasing her with his tongue while she gnawed his bottom lip. Wrapping his arms around her waist, he kissed her deeply as they leaned against the sink. His hands travelled under her blouse, caressing her bare skin, as she ran her hands all over his back, grasping his shoulders. Their bodies came together and she could feel his hardness pressing against her stomach. Moving his hands down to her bum, he gently lifted her up towards the counter so that her hips were more in line with his, edging her skirt up slightly. He began to eat her neck again and she moaned his name softly.</p><p> </p><p>Suddenly, Henry burst into the room, sobbing loudly. “Jenny and Licia are picking on me!! ‘Snot fair!”</p><p>They broke away laughing, gazing at each other tenderly.</p><p> </p><p>***************************************</p><p> </p><p>Fifteen minutes later, she was sitting in the back of a taxi, still stunned, floating on air. She wanted to walk home, but he’d insisted, saying it was too far in the dark. However, she refused to take the £10 note that he tried to stuff into her hand. She also declined his kind offer of a fish finger dinner, as she was sure Esther would be preparing something slightly more enticing. The children all gave her a big hug and Sidney escorted her to the front door, where he kissed her passionately once more.</p><p>“I wish you didn’t have to go,” he said. "They... um.. they've never seen me here with a woman before, you understand, don't you? And Henry has a habit of waking up in the night. Could be awkward."</p><p>She stroked his cheek and told him she would see him tomorrow night, at the staff Christmas party.</p><p>The taxi rounded the corner towards the seafront; she gazed out the window at the sea shimmering in the dark and the luminous light of the full moon on the pebbles. On the horizon, she could see the distant lights of a ferry, its horn sounding as it travelled across the water. The night air was cold and still, with a touch of frost.</p><p><em>Was he really in love with her?</em> <em>Was she in love with him?</em> She’d never felt like this before. When they’d been standing at the sink, she’d felt as if she would melt into a puddle on the floor. She would have let him do anything to her; yes, even take her up against the sink if he’d wanted to. She imagined him unbuckling his belt and hoisting up her skirt, tearing off her knickers and plunging inside. Totally oblivious to the children in the next room, unable to stop themselves.</p><p>“Um, miss,” coughed the taxi driver. He was a large man with a bald head and a tattoo creeping up his neck. “We’re ‘ere. That’ll be £8 please.”</p><p>She blinked and looked around her. Abruptly, she was back in the real world.</p><p>“Of course. Here you are.” She got out of the cab and handed him a tenner. “Keep the change.”</p><p>The taxi drove off and she gazed up at the moon, sighing deeply. It was a magical night.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I’m sorry about the interruptions. Blame Tom!</p><p>The stuff about DH Lawrence and Zennor is true. The Mermaid of Zennor is a legend!<br/>This seems to be turning into a kitchen sink drama...</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0021"><h2>21. The Christmas party</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>It's Christmas in August!<br/>Time for the staff party...</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>It was Friday afternoon. Sidney was staring blankly at his computer screen, yet again. He’d had a busy day so far and he was feeling tired. A meeting with Mrs Denham this morning, two back-to-back Maths lessons, another meeting with Dan. At lunchtime, he’d scoured the canteen hoping for a glimpse of Charlotte, but he couldn’t spot her. Now he was trying to catch up on some paperwork before heading home. He’d already sent her a brief, impersonal email cancelling their mentoring meeting; there was no point doing it tonight and anyway, he wasn’t sure he’d be able to concentrate on the matter in hand.</p><p>He yawned. Henry had woken him up in the night, saying he’d had nightmares about sea monsters. Now <em>that</em> was Charlotte’s fault, he smiled to himself. It had taken ages to calm Henry down; he’d had to let him sleep in his bed, where he’d fidgeted and kicked until the morning. Good job she hadn’t stayed after all. Mary had arrived at 7.30, ready to take the children back to Brighton and drop them off at school. He’d cycled in to wake himself up, as it was a fine, fresh day.</p><p>A notification popped up in his inbox. <em>C. Heywood.</em> He clicked on it immediately. It was just a short reply, acknowledging his message. At the bottom she’d simply put “See you later”. Good. She understood they had to keep things professional. He suddenly realised he didn’t even have her phone number. Despite two passionate sessions and the prospect of more tonight, if he was lucky, he’d forgotten to ask her. He could, of course, just look it up on the staff records, but that would be wrong somehow. A bit creepy. He must ask her for it formally. He must also ask her out on a proper date. Or maybe he wouldn’t need to. Maybe she’d come back to his house tonight and he’d get to keep her in his bed for the whole weekend.</p><p>He leaned back in his chair and groaned with delight at the thought. The idea of making love to her all night, waking up with her in the morning, making her breakfast, soaping her naked body in the shower, taking her back to bed all over again. It was too much to think about. Yesterday, she’d responded to his kisses with passion, she hadn’t seemed nervous or pulled away. He hadn’t even thought about whether he should touch her breasts or not; it just seemed like the right thing to do. She certainly seemed to enjoy it. He smiled in disbelief, shaking his head. What would have happened if Henry hadn’t burst in on them? He’d been so close to losing control. But he knew he would never have done that with the kids in the next room, and anyway, she deserved better than that for their first time. He wanted to take it slow with her, shower her in kisses, enjoy every inch of her naked body, not just fuck her up against the sink.</p><p>She was special to him, and he wanted to treat her like she was special. He loved her. He laughed out loud. <em>He loved her!</em> Could he tell her? Maybe it was too soon; he didn’t want her to run a mile. She’d looked so insecure talking about her weight, and he’d known she wasn’t doing it just to fish for compliments. Eliza used to do that, endlessly asking his opinion about this or that outfit, which new hairstyle she should try. Never mind Eliza. He knew what he’d whispered in Charlotte’s ear was kind of cheesy, but he really meant it. She was perfect for him and he wanted her more than anything.</p><p>Another email pinged into his inbox. He’d better get back to work; he needed to get home fast and get ready for tonight. He couldn’t wait.</p><p> </p><p>********************************************</p><p> </p><p>It was 7pm and Charlotte was flapping. She’d tried on three different dresses and none of them looked right. Her hair was still wet from the shower and she hadn’t put on any make-up.</p><p>Esther poked her head round the door. “Charlotte, you okay? God, you’re not even dressed. Have you called a taxi yet?”</p><p>“No! I can’t decide what to wear and… oh, Esther can you help me?” she pleaded.</p><p>“Come on, let’s have a look at you. Try the red one.”</p><p>Charlotte slipped it on. It was a fairly loose, short-sleeved dress that ended just above the knee, but it hugged her curves nicely.</p><p>“Yep. Definitely that one. You look gorgeous in red, Charlotte, it really suits your hair and complexion. I would look a perfect fright in that colour.” She grinned. “Do you want me to do your make-up for you? Shall I order a cab? You might be a little late, but I’m sure it won’t matter.”</p><p>“Oh would you, Esther? That would be great; I’m not really that good at make-up, to be honest.”</p><p>“Don’t worry darling, I’m an expert.”</p><p>Charlotte gave her hair a quick blow-dry while Esther rummaged through Charlotte’s make-up bag.</p><p>“Let’s see… yes… you couldn’t use any of my stuff, you know, we’re totally different complexions.”</p><p>Ten minutes later, she applied the finishing touch, a swathe of red lipstick to Charlotte’s full lips, and swivelled her round to look in the mirror. “What do you think?”</p><p>Charlotte stared. She didn’t really look like herself somehow. But she had to admit, she did look good. Glamorous. She never usually bothered with eyeshadow or blusher as she found it a bit of a faff. A dash of mascara and a touch of lipstick was more her style.</p><p>Esther stood behind her, her hands on Charlotte’s shoulders. “You look absolutely ravishing, darling.”</p><p>A horn sounded outside. “Gosh, that must be the taxi. I’d better go.” Charlotte quickly gathered up her small shoulder bag, threw on her coat and slipped her feet inside a pair of black high-heeled shoes. “Bye!”</p><p>“Bye, have a fantastic time, and make sure you don’t come home!” laughed Esther. She knew all too well what Charlotte’s hopes were for the evening.</p><p> </p><p>Charlotte jumped in the taxi. “Vincenzo’s restaurant please,” she said breathlessly. The driver nodded. It was the same guy as the other night.</p><p>“Special occasion, is it darlin’?” He leered at her in the rear view mirror.</p><p>“It’s my staff Christmas do. I’m a bit late though. Started at 7 and they’re sitting down to eat at 7.30.” It was already 7.25 and the restaurant was on the other side of town.</p><p>“I’ll go as fast as I can, luv.”</p><p> </p><p>**********************************************</p><p> </p><p>Sidney looked at his watch nervously. It was 7.35. Everyone else was here. Where was Charlotte? He drummed his fingers on the table; everyone was seated, ready to place their orders. Vincenzo’s, a friendly Italian restaurant that served slightly Anglicised, although deliciously simple food, was just about the only decent restaurant in Sanditon. Miss Bates, the school secretary, usually booked the table at least six months in advance, as it was a popular place to eat and they were a big crowd tonight. Nearly every member of staff was there. Except Charlotte. He hoped she was just running late; he presumed she’d be coming by cab as it was a bit far for her to walk. He’d got a taxi himself as he wanted to have a few drinks and relax. He’d had a busy day.</p><p>The staff had started gathering in the bar area of the restaurant from 7pm. Sidney was there at five past, and had spent a nervous 25 minutes looking out for Charlotte. If only he had her phone number; he could have sent her a quick message to make sure she was coming. Now he’d been railroaded into sitting on what Mrs Denham referred to as “the top table” – as if it was a bloody wedding – with herself, Dan Ferrars, another senior teacher, Jack Tilney, Mr Hankins and Mrs Griffiths. What fun. The tables were filling up and he could hardly see any spare seats. There would be no chance to talk to her at all during dinner, supposing she even turned up.</p><p>Suddenly, at 7.40, the door of the restaurant burst open and in walked Charlotte, looking a little flustered, her nose red from the cold. Sidney breathed a sigh of relief. The buzz of voices momentarily dropped as people looked round to see who had arrived, then turned back to their neighbours and continued talking. Charlotte was standing there awkwardly, taking off her long woollen coat and handing it to the waiter.</p><p>Sidney’s breath hitched and his jaw dropped. She was wearing a dark red, loosely fitting dress, the fabric falling gently over her hips and narrowing to a tighter skirt just above the knee. The dress was slightly low cut, displaying her wondrous natural cleavage. She was wearing black high heeled shoes – heels! he’d never seen her in heels – maybe they were the ones she’d wanted to wear to the dinner, when she’d thrown James’ expensive gift out of the window. Then he looked at her beautiful, softly falling hair and her face. Her make-up had been carefully applied and her lips were lusciously red. She’d made a real effort. Although he loved her whatever she wore, especially a swimsuit or a football kit, he normally only saw her in practical work clothes and he had to admit she looked stunning. Could this beautiful woman really be about to become his… his what? His lover? His girlfriend?</p><p>Scanning the room for somewhere to sit, she caught his eye and smiled shyly. Sidney’s face broke into a joyful grin, but then he remembered where he was and stopped staring at her. Dan Ferrars, seated next to him, was regarding him curiously.</p><p>“Something catch your eye, Sidney?” he chuckled. “Fine looking woman, isn’t she? If I was 20 years younger… and not married of course…”</p><p>Thirty years more like, thought Sidney. “I’m just wondering where she’s going to sit,” he replied, somewhat tersely. “Looks like all the tables are full up.”</p><p>Just then, one of the other English teachers, Sally Fairfax, spotted Charlotte and waved her over. Sally was only about 30 but didn’t come out often as she had young children. Charlotte liked her; she’d always been friendly to her. Charlotte went to sit on her table, which was furthest away from Sidney. It was a lively table, with several teachers she knew fairly well, including Leon, the PE teacher.</p><p>“Wow, you look great Charlotte,” he said with a wink. She knew he was just being friendly; he’d already mentioned he was seeing someone. She settled down and looked at the menu. Leon poured her a glass of wine.</p><p> </p><p>Up on the top table, Sidney was getting bored. He talked to these people every day; it would have been nice to mix with some of the other teachers for once, some of the younger ones he didn’t know so well. Mrs Denham was droning on about the Ofsted report and what they needed to improve. Jesus, couldn’t she leave it alone, just for one night. He poured himself another glass of wine from the bottle on the table and drank it thirstily. Might as well take advantage of a few free drinks, for once.</p><p>“What’s the matter, Sidney?” asked Dan. “You’re very quiet.”</p><p>“Oh, I’m just tired, Dan. Long term, not quite into the Christmas spirit yet.”</p><p>“I know what you mean. Only three more days next week, then it’s the holidays. Doing anything special?”</p><p>“Haven’t really thought about it,” replied Sidney.</p><p>It was true, he hadn’t. Usual Christmases involved gathering at Diana’s with all the family. With any luck, they might be able to invite Tom over for Christmas Day this year. He’d been cutting back on the drinking and Mary had attended one of his counselling sessions. She hadn’t been over-positive about the experience, however, and it seemed like there was still a long way to go. Would his Christmas holiday perhaps involve Charlotte this year? She’d undoubtedly be going back to Dorset for a while, but maybe he could twist her arm to spend New Year with him. It was his birthday on 2nd January and nobody ever bothered much with it, being so soon after the festivities. It would be lovely to spend it in bed with her.</p><p>He shook himself from his reverie and glanced over at her table. She was laughing and joking with the others, a glass of wine in her hand. Leon was sitting next to her. He remembered what she’d said about Leon being a boy, and smiled to himself. He peered down the other end of his table. Liz Griffiths and Robert Hankins were sitting next to each other, deep in conversation. Mrs Denham was still droning on to Jack about the Ofsted. Sidney sighed and poured another glass of wine.</p><p> </p><p>Charlotte was having fun and the food was delicious. Fortunately Frances Price was on another table, as were Edward and Clara. They were sitting very close together; she wondered where he was putting his hands. Occasionally he would glance over at her, staring hard, which she found somewhat unnerving. She peeked a glance at Sidney on the top table. He was sipping his glass of wine and staring blankly into the distance. If only he’d been on her table; never mind, it was her own fault for being so late.</p><p>After the starter and main course, she got up to go to the loo. Washing her hands, she checked her make-up in the mirror and added a touch more lipstick. Her eyes were looking slightly glazed but she only felt a little tipsy. As she came out of the Ladies, who should she bump into but Sidney, who was just about to enter the Gents. He spun round to greet her.</p><p>“At last! I thought I’d never get you on your own.” Smiling and taking her hands, he moved her over to the other side of the corridor, away from the toilets. “Are you having fun?”</p><p>“Yes, yes, they’re a good laugh. Sorry I didn’t see you earlier, um… my taxi was late,” she lied. She didn’t want him to know how bloody chaotic she was. She looked up at him; he was wearing a smart black suit and a light blue shirt, open at the neck. He looked gorgeous, although he hadn’t quite managed to have a shave.</p><p>“You look to be having a lot more fun than me,” he grimaced. “I’m stuck on the bloody top table with all the old farts. Mrs D insisted. Let’s get away from here soon.” He looked at her hopefully, still grasping her hands tightly, stroking them with his fingers.</p><p>“Oh, some of the others are going to a club,” she said. “I said I’d go along, it sounds fun. You could come too?” She tilted her head, smiling shyly.</p><p>“God, not The Bizz?” Sidney groaned and looked up at the ceiling. Charlotte nodded.</p><p>“Jesus, I used to go there when I was a teenager. I haven’t been there in years, I avoid it like the plague. Some of the sixth formers go there.”</p><p>“Sorry,” frowned Charlotte, “but I’ve said I’ll go now. Won’t you come? It’ll look strange if I cry off and they see me slipping out with you.”</p><p>He paused, looking deep into her eyes. “Well, seeing as it’s you… okay, I’ll come. I’ll wait for you all to leave and I’ll come along after. Okay?”</p><p>She smiled shyly. “Okay. I’d better get back.”</p><p>“Alright. Wait… Charlotte.” He pulled her back towards him, squeezing her hands. “You look amazing by the way. That’s a really lovely dress.” His gaze dropped admiringly towards her cleavage.</p><p>“You don’t look too bad yourself, Mr Parker,” she replied cheekily.</p><p>Checking no one was around, he bent down and kissed her softly. He was about to move in closer and prolong the kiss, when he heard someone coming round the corner. They quickly sprang apart. It was Leon, heading for the Gents. He gave them a nod.</p><p>“See you later then,” whispered Charlotte, squeezing his arm and smiling excitedly at him as she tottered back to her table.</p><p>Sidney headed into the Gents and stood at the urinals next to Leon. Neither man spoke at first. Sidney cleared his throat.</p><p>“Good goal you scored the other day,” he said, a little awkwardly. “We should have won really.”</p><p>Nodding, Leon zipped up his flies and walked over to the sink to wash his hands. “I think you already have,” he muttered under his breath.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0022"><h2>22. The fire escape</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>In which Sidney returns to one of his youthful haunts...</p><p>A few explicit descriptions and some four letter words (used in their proper context).</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>At 11pm, Sidney pushed open the door of the restaurant and stepped out into the street. He could see his breath in the cold December air. He pulled his jacket round him tightly; he hadn’t bothered to bring a coat as he’d thought he’d be getting straight back into a cab after the restaurant, preferably with Charlotte to keep him warm. She and a large bunch of younger teachers had already left about 20 minutes previously, heading for the club. They went there every year after the Christmas meal, but he’d never gone along before. He’d stayed in the restaurant, chatting to Jack and Dan, until they were more or less the only people left. Mrs Denham had long gone home, saying she needed to feed her cats, and Mr Hankins and Mrs Griffiths had left together. Sidney had yawned, made his excuses and said he was going to get a taxi home; he was tired.</p><p>It was true, he was tired. He really could have done with going home and crashing out for a bit, with or without Charlotte. He’d also had way too much wine to drink and had been slightly unsteady on his feet when he got up from the table, but the fresh air and the walk to the club should sort that out. He could always have a beer or a vodka to wake him up when he got there.</p><p>The Bizz was in a red brick building some 15 minutes' walk from the restaurant. The scene of many teenage misdemeanours, he had avoided going anywhere near it since returning to Sanditon. There was always the chance of bumping into a student, or more likely an ex-student, and anyway, it had always been a shit club. He doubted it had improved or changed much, but the teachers always liked to go there at Christmas so they could carry on drinking after the restaurant. There was nowhere else to go.</p><p>A neon sign over the front door proudly declared <em>The Bizz</em>, although the final ‘z’ was hanging off precariously. He pushed open the door and went up the stairs; he knew his way very well. The bar and dancefloor were up on the first floor. Memories flooded back of rushing drunkenly up these stairs with Brad and Frank, doing their best to appear older than they were.</p><p>Following a nod from the bouncer, Sidney went through into the club and was met with a hot, stuffy blast of stale sweat and alcohol. The club was only half full; it would probably fill up later once all the pubs had chucked out. He looked round apprehensively, spotting one or two ex-students, but fortunately no current ones. They shouldn’t have been here anyway; it was over-18s only but the doormen weren’t that particular. He noticed a bunch of teachers sitting in the corner and strolled over.</p><p>“Parker! What brings you here?” sneered Edward. Oh god, not him again. Edward was clearly drunk; his eyes looked wild and he was slurring his words. Next to him sat Clara. He had his hand on Clara’s knee. Sidney felt a light touch on his arm. He turned round to see Charlotte, smiling up at him.</p><p>“Hi,” she said simply. “Want a drink?”</p><p>“No, let me get you one.” Taking out his wallet, he went to the bar and got her a cider and himself a pint of beer. Not really a good idea to mix wine with beer, but never mind. He brought the drinks over and sat on the long sofa next to her. Edward was staring at them strangely.</p><p>He chatted with Charlotte, Sally, Leon and a couple of the others. If they were surprised to see him there, they didn’t say anything. Leon kept looking at him, which was a bit unnerving. He was a nice guy though and he didn’t think he’d let on to anyone. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Edward, whose hand was slowly inching up Clara’s skirt. She pushed him away angrily and he hissed something at her.</p><p>Sidney had had enough of this. The unmistakable bass riff of <em>Uptown Funk</em> blared out through the speakers. He leaned towards Charlotte and whispered in her ear, “Want to dance?”</p><p>“Oh yes,” she beamed. “I love to dance.”</p><p>A big group of them got up and moved towards the dance floor. Sidney had taken his jacket off and Charlotte had to admit he was a good mover. He was quite enjoying watching her move her hips around the dancefloor too. He smiled broadly at her as she shook her upper body and tossed her curls around, grinning and pouting. She was really letting go and being quite silly. He felt like being silly too; it was ages since he’d had a really good workout on the dance floor. They didn’t stop dancing from one song to the next, both working up a sweat.</p><p>When the DJ played <em>Take Me Home</em>, she smiled up at him shyly, mouthing the words at him as she danced.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“Take me home, I know another place to be</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Take me home, You deserve a girl like me</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Come on I know somewhere, You can unwind</em>
</p><p>
  <em>We can just disappear, Now's the time”</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>Then <em>Walking on Sunshine</em> came on. Sidney held out his hand to her and twirled her around, laughing. She was getting flushed and even hotter, and he couldn’t take his eyes off her. The other teachers were dancing all around them, but it was as if they were the only ones on the dancefloor.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“I used to think maybe you loved me now, baby, I’m sure</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And I just can’t wait ‘til the day when you knock on my door”</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>Suddenly, the tempo of the music dropped and the lights dimmed. The smarmy DJ announced, “One for all you lovers out there tonight!” It was <em>Wonderful Tonight</em>. Sidney laughed in disbelief and drew her towards him. He didn’t care any more if anyone was watching; they had to dance to this.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“It’s late in the evening, she’s wondering what clothes to wear</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She puts on her make-up and brushes her long blonde hair</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And then she asks me, ‘Do I look alright?’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And I say ‘Yes, you look wonderful tonight.”</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Charlotte placed her arms around Sidney’s waist and swayed gently, keeping her head down. She couldn’t look up at him just yet. He bent his head and whispered in her ear. “Song just for you, Charlotte.” He knew it was cheesy but he couldn’t help it. She did look wonderful, even if she was a little sweaty.</p><p>Charlotte slowly looked up at him. He could see she had tears in her eyes. She was biting her lip.</p><p>“What’s wrong?” he asked, concerned. “Did I say something?”</p><p>“Nothing’s wrong,” she smiled, “nothing’s wrong at all.”</p><p>They continued swaying slowly, looking deep into each other’s eyes. Taking one of her hands, he placed it on his chest and gripped it tightly. Her lips looked so warm and inviting; it took all his willpower not to reach down and kiss her. Her cleavage was also rather splendid in that dress, and he began to ache quite badly at the thought of her, standing in his bedroom and he, helping her out of that dress later on tonight.</p><p>Abruptly, the music changed again. <em>Last Christmas</em> by Wham! Of course. A perennial Christmas favourite.</p><p>Sidney groaned. “Oh god, I can’t dance to this. Drink?”</p><p>She nodded mutely and they headed over to the bar. There was only one barman working and he was busy.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“Last Christmas, I gave you my heart</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And the very next day, you gave it away...”</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>Sidney drummed his fingers impatiently on the bar. Charlotte was standing quietly beside him. She was so overcome, she felt as if she’d lost the ability to speak. Suddenly he turned towards her.</p><p>“Bit stuffy in here, isn’t it? Do you fancy getting some air?”</p><p>“Yes.” She’d found her tongue at last.</p><p>Looking swiftly round to make sure no other teachers were watching, he placed his hand on her back and guided her expertly down the long, dark corridor past the toilets. Edward emerged from the Gents, swaying and pulling up his flies. He let out a burp.</p><p>“Going somewhere?” he enquired, raising an eyebrow.</p><p>“Charlotte doesn’t feel very well, we’re just getting some air,” replied Sidney tersely. Edward sloped off.</p><p>Sidney guided her towards the heavy Fire Exit and undid the bolt. “Come on.”</p><p>She hung back nervously. “Where are we going?”</p><p>“Just on the fire escape. It’ll be fine, no one will be there.”</p><p>He pushed open the heavy door and they were met with a blast of cold air. It was quiet out here; only a few seagulls were squawking on the roof. She held onto the metal railings, which were cold to the touch. A harsh bright light overhead shone in her eyes, which she shaded with her hands.</p><p>Sidney was feeling twitchy and suddenly wondered if he’d had the right idea, bringing her out here. He hadn’t been here for at least 15 years, but the memories came flooding back to him clearly. He’d brought a lot of girls out here in the time he’d frequented the place; mostly just snogging, but still, it felt weird being here with Charlotte. He breathed deeply and tried to calm down. The light was hurting his eyes too and the beer he’d recently drunk was coming back in his throat a little. He was starting to get a headache. He swallowed.</p><p>“Cold out here, isn’t it?” he shivered.</p><p>She leaned back against the brick wall, opened her arms to him and smiled. “You’d better come over here then.”</p><p>Smiling softly, he stepped towards her and took her in his arms. He bent his head and kissed her nose. She turned her mouth up to his and took his bottom lip between her teeth. He couldn’t hold back any longer. He pressed his mouth to hers urgently, pushing his tongue deep inside. He moved his hands up and down her back, then began trailing his fingers down to her bum. Grasping her buttocks firmly with his large hands, he squeezed her cheeks. He was beginning to feel overwhelmed and a little dazed by the bright light. His cock was throbbing and his urges overcame him as he pushed it sharply towards her stomach. She gasped. His hands were moving down her arse, clutching at the sides of her dress and pulling it up, urgently. Her dress was now nearly up round her waist, and still he kept exploring.</p><p><em>Wow this is going fast</em>, thought Charlotte. He was pressing her against the wall in his passion and the bricks felt scratchy against her head. He was kissing her so hard she could hardly breathe, and she could taste the beer on his breath. She gasped as he tugged down her tights, then plunged his hand inside her knickers and stroked her bare arse. He moved his fingers further down, reaching towards her crotch, searching for her wetness. His cock was pressing against her more and more urgently. Just at that moment she sensed a flash of light hit her eyes. She froze. “Sidney, stop!” she squeaked, almost inaudibly.</p><p>Sidney sprang back, panting. He barely knew where he was or who he was with. <em>What the fuck was he doing?</em> She was looking at him with a confused, slightly hurt expression on her face.</p><p>She hadn’t been expecting this. A grope on a fire escape, crushed against the wall like some nameless one-night stand. She hadn’t expected him to go straight for her… her cunt like that, without even touching her breasts or kissing her neck. Or something. He’d been so gentle and quietly passionate the previous two days, but this felt like... like she could have been any woman, any girl standing there in her red dress, high heels and make-up. All that stuff about loving her natural beauty was bullshit.</p><p>Sidney had relaxed his grip on her and was leaning his forehead against hers. “God, I’m so sorry Charlotte. I don’t know what came over me. I didn’t mean it to be like this, honestly.”</p><p>He stood back. “Don’t be angry with me. I’ve wanted you for so long and I... I think maybe I’ve had too much to drink. I’m sorry. Please forgive me.” He put one hand on the metal railing, running the other through his hair in some distress. She was silent, smoothing down her dress and looking at him oddly.</p><p>“Fuck,” he said, banging the railing, “I’ve really spoiled things now. What must you think of me?” He looked up at the sky, the stars, the moon. “I wish we’d never come to this bloody club. I used to... bring girls here sometimes... not like that, I mean, I never... oh never mind, I’m not making any sense. It’s a bit of a headfuck being here again, being here with you.”</p><p>Charlotte’s heart softened a little. She moved towards him and, placing one hand on top of his, moved the other hand up to his cheek. “Don’t worry, it’s okay. I was just a little... taken aback.” She reached up and kissed him gently on the lips. Placing his hands lightly on her shoulders, he kissed her back, then drew her to his chest and held her in silence for a long time.</p><p>He whispered in her ear. “Let’s get out of this fucking place. Charlotte, you will come back to mine, won’t you?” Holding her shoulders, he moved her away slightly so he could look at her.</p><p>“I’m... I’m not sure Sidney.” She was trembling.</p><p>He cupped her face in his hands, looking deep into her eyes. “I promise you, we won’t do anything you don’t want to do. I’m not that sort of person. Actually, I’m pretty tired. We can just... lie together all night and I’ll make you breakfast in the morning. I just want to be with you. Really.”</p><p>She hesitated, looking at him uncertainly.</p><p>“Okay. What’s for breakfast then?” A small smile.</p><p>“Bacon sandwich?” He raised an eyebrow.</p><p>“Mmm. Sold.” She winked and lifted her face up to kiss him again. Just then, she heard a strange grunting noise. The noise was coming from underneath the tall metal steps, down on the ground below. Must be a fox or something. She peered down and nearly cried out.</p><p>“What is it?” he asked.</p><p>“Sssh!” She put her fingers to her lips and pointed down under the fire escape with her other hand. He peered over.</p><p>Down in the shadows, a man, his trousers around his ankles, was thrusting back and forth, grabbing onto a woman, who was bent over from behind, her skirt ridden up around her waist and her hands pressing against the wall as the man urgently pumped himself into her. It was Edward. With Clara. His grunting got louder and louder.</p><p>Silently, Sidney took Charlotte’s hand and they quietly slipped back into the club through the fire door. They stopped in the corridor and looked at one other, aghast.</p><p>“I’d never treat you like that,” he said to her earnestly. “You do believe me, don’t you?”</p><p>“I’m going to the loo,” she said by way of response. “You go back and see the others, I’ll join you.”</p><p>He nodded and walked away.</p><p> </p><p>Charlotte sat on the toilet seat, shaken, holding her head in her hands. What a horrible night this was turning out to be. She wished they’d never come to this bloody club. They should have just slipped out of the restaurant together and got a taxi. By now, she might have been lying in his comfy bed, nuzzling on his chest in post-coital bliss. Instead of pinned up against a brick wall on a fire escape. He did seem to have had a mad moment. The way he’d behaved was certainly... incongruous compared to how he’d treated her in the past. She wasn’t sure. She wanted him too, badly, but she didn’t want to be groped up against a brick wall at a nightclub like that. She’d thought there was more between them. And Edward and Clara! That image was seared on her mind now. She felt rather sick. She stood up, pulled up her knickers and flushed the chain. She’d just have to trust her instincts. What else could she do? Maybe things would be better after a good night’s sleep.</p><p>Back in the club, Sidney was sitting on one of the sofas, chatting to Leon. Charlotte sat down opposite next to Sally, who was yawning, saying that it was nearly time to call it a night. She didn’t go out that often any more and her kids were bound to wake her up at 6 o’clock. Nothing worse than parenting with a hangover, she laughed. Charlotte smiled back at her, but she wasn’t really listening. Edward and Clara were nowhere to be seen. She glanced across at Sidney and he caught her eye, but carried on talking. It wasn’t going to be easy to slip away with everyone else around.</p><p>Finally, the other teachers began to make a move and headed towards the cloakroom to get their coats. Sidney stood up and moved towards Charlotte.</p><p>“I haven’t got a coat, I’ll meet you outside,” he whispered. She nodded.</p><p>By the time Charlotte got to the cloakroom, there was already a long queue. Resigned, she joined the back of it and waited patiently. She was nearly the last one to leave.</p><p>“How are you getting home Charlotte?” asked Leon, concerned.</p><p>“I’ll get a cab, it’s fine, you go ahead,” she replied.</p><p>“On your own?” He winked at her. He knew. “Have a good night.”</p><p>Eventually, she emerged into the cold night air. She could smell the salty spray coming from the sea, mixed with a strong odour of seaweed. Sidney was standing on his own at the taxi rank. He turned to greet her.</p><p>“We just missed one, Leon and Sally took it. But there should be another one along in a minute.”</p><p>They waited silently, their fingers entwined. A few minutes later, a cab pulled up and the driver wound down the window, leaning his arm on the glass. It was the same man who’d brought her to the restaurant earlier. He looked her up and down.</p><p>“Highbury Close,” said Sidney, “Okay?”</p><p>The driver nodded and Sidney opened the rear door. It was a hackney cab, with four seats facing each other. Just at that moment, Edward and Clara emerged from the club and ran over towards them breathlessly.</p><p>“Wait for us!” Edward called.</p><p>Sidney gave Charlotte a look.</p><p>“Room for us, isn’t there Parker?” shouted Edward. He was drunk and his shirt was hanging out of his trousers, his hair flopping around his face. Clara looked a little dishevelled also.</p><p>“Ladies first,” said Edward, ushering Clara and Charlotte into the taxi, giving Charlotte a light pat on the bottom as he did so. She turned round and glared at him.</p><p>Charlotte sat next to Clara and Sidney, reluctantly, sat next to Edward, opposite Charlotte. He gave her a look as if to say ‘What can I do?’</p><p>Edward was busy sorting out who should be dropped off first. “I think Clara first, as she’s near the seafront, you’re quite near there too aren’t you Charlotte, so we’ll drop you off next, then we can go to – where did you say, Highbury Close – and I’m last, as I’m a few miles outside town. That okay with everyone?”</p><p>He sat back in the seat and gave them one of his oily smiles. The cab pulled away.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I'm so sorry... we have to get through Episode 8 somehow... but we will!</p><p>Uptown Funk, by Mark Ronson feat. Bruno Mars (2014)<br/>Take me Home – Sophie Ellis Bextor (2001) – it’s originally Cher, but I prefer this version.<br/>Walking on Sunshine, Katrina and the Waves (1985)<br/>Wonderful Tonight, Eric Clapton (1977) - I thought about the Lady in Red, but it's a terrible song!<br/>Last Christmas, Wham! (1984)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0023"><h2>23. The taxi ride</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The tension comes to a head in the taxi home from the club...</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>Charlotte sat in the cab nervously, glancing over at Sidney now and again. This evening was going from bad to worse; she’d been so excited getting ready to go out, the restaurant had been lovely, and she’d enjoyed the club at first, particularly dancing with Sidney. Then, on the fire escape, everything had abruptly changed. She looked across at him again. The tic in his jaw was pulsating as he stared angrily out of the window. Why wouldn't he look at her, give her some sort of signal?</p><p>They pulled up outside Clara’s seafront flat.</p><p>“Here we are, Clara!” bellowed Edward. “Off you go!”</p><p>Clara opened the door and bent down to get out. Edward gave her a slap on the bum. “Night!” he called. Clara turned round and glared. She didn’t say a word to anyone.</p><p>“Goodnight,” Charlotte said very quietly. Sidney still didn’t speak.</p><p>A couple of minutes later, they were outside Charlotte’s flat. She leaned across to open the door, looking up at Sidney. He returned her gaze, but his expression was indecipherable. As she stepped out, he put his arm across Edward, to stop any repeat of his ‘friendly’ behaviour.</p><p>“Goodnight Charlotte,” he said quietly, unsmiling. "Sorry," he mouthed silently.</p><p>“Goodnight,” she whispered, a concerned look on her face. That was it. That was the end of her night.</p><p> </p><p>The taxi pulled away and Edward and Sidney sat in silence. Sidney decided to move to the opposite seat; he didn’t relish being next to Edward, who stank of alcohol and stale sex.</p><p>Edward smirked at him. “Not bad, is she, that Charlotte? Lovely tits. Nice arse, too. I bet she’s a lively handful…”</p><p>Sidney banged his fist down on the seat, furious. “That is ENOUGH! Don’t you dare talk about her like that! Have some respect for once!”</p><p>He hated other men talking about women in that locker room kind of way. Especially Charlotte. She was much more than tits and arse to him. Much more.</p><p>“Okay, okay, keep your hair on, Parker,” sneered Edward. “I’m just saying she’s a nice bit of skirt. I mean, Clara’s not bad, but her tits aren’t quite the same standard, if you know what I mean.”</p><p>“Edward, I’m warning you,” replied Sidney, quietly seething. “If you carry on talking in this way, I’m going to throw you out of this cab. How can you talk about Clara like that? She’s not a piece of meat.”</p><p>“She’s a very nice piece of meat, if you must know,” he grinned. “Compliant too.”</p><p>“And what about your wife? Where does she come into this?”</p><p>“Melissa?” he laughed, “she does what she’s told. Anyway, she’s not been much fun since the kids were born.”</p><p>“We saw you and Clara earlier, under the fire escape,” said Sidney, his eyes narrowing.</p><p>“Oh, you did, did you?”</p><p>“Yes, and it’s not the first time, Edward. Everyone knows you and Clara go off in your car after school. You’ve also been heard inside the school. In the Music cupboard.”</p><p>Edward looked shocked, but quickly recovered himself. “How do you know that was me? You can’t prove it.”</p><p>“Ha! You've basically just admitted it,” said Sidney, menacingly, leaning forward in his seat. "What would your aunt think, I wonder? And does she even know what you got up to at your last school? Because I do, Edward."</p><p>“Are you threatening me, Parker?” hissed Edward, his face moving closer to Sidney’s. He almost spat at him; Sidney could smell the alcohol on his breath again. “Because if you want to play at that game, I know exactly what you’ve been up to with Charlotte.” He leaned back in his seat, smirking again.</p><p>“I don’t know what you mean,” said Sidney, swallowing nervously.</p><p>“Oh yes you fucking do. I’ve seen you, taking her home in your car, kissing her. Everyone saw you slavering over her on the dancefloor tonight. They also saw you slip out the back.  And…” he whipped his phone out of his pocket –  “you can’t deny it. I have photographic evidence.”</p><p>“What the fuck!” shouted Sidney, reaching out to grab the phone, which Edward snatched away from him.</p><p>“Oi!” shouted the taxi driver, turning his head round. “Keep it civil, gents, please.”</p><p>Sidney sank back in his seat. <em>What did Edward mean?</em></p><p>Edward scrolled down his phone, smiling to himself. “Here we are… you said she’s not a piece of meat, did you Parker? Let me just zoom in on this a little.”</p><p>Holding the phone up high, he turned the screen round to show Sidney a photo. A rather grainy photo, but unmistakably a photo, taken from a distance, of Sidney and Charlotte, leaning against the brick wall on the fire escape, kissing. Not just kissing. Charlotte’s dress was up around her waist and Sidney’s hand could be seen delving inside her knickers. Sidney was pressed up very tightly against her.</p><p>Sidney reached out to grab the phone, but Edward snatched it away from him, holding it high above his head, still smirking. Sidney glanced at the taxi driver, who was watching them intently in the rear view mirror. He was shellshocked. Of course, Edward had seen them heading for the fire escape, and must have come out by the back door on the ground floor and watched them from below. He felt sick.</p><p>Edward waved the phone above his head, quietly taunting Sidney. “I think my aunt would be very interested to see this, don’t you, Parker? She’s always moaning about you after a couple of glasses of wine at Sunday lunch. Oh that Mr Parker and his new-fangled ideas, I’ve given him too much rope, he’s trying to take over the school, put me out of a job. Hmmm?” His impression of his aunt was uncanny. “And another thing,” he continued gaily, “I know about you and that perky little Biology teacher and the private lessons she was giving you,” he cackled, “you thought you’d got away with that one, didn’t you? I don't think Violet got wind of it, but I’m sure she’d be very interested to hear. And now you’re at it again!”</p><p>“You wouldn’t,” was all Sidney could say.</p><p>“I bloody well would. If you say anything – anything at all about me - to anyone. I might even send the photo to the Board of Governors. That’d look good, wouldn’t it? This is how our senior leader poster boy treats the newly qualified teachers after a few drinks. Or maybe I’ll send an “All Staff” email. Who knows, maybe even the local press would be interested?”</p><p>Sidney leaped across the cab and grabbed Edward by the neck. “You fucking dare!” The two men scrambled together on the seat as Sidney desperately tried to get hold of Edward's phone. As they fought, they fell onto the floor of the cab and Edward threw his phone behind him onto the seat. In his fury, Sidney, the stronger man, shoved Edward back against the door of the cab. Grabbing him by the throat with his left hand, he punched him hard in the stomach with his right hand, his leg pinning him to the floor. Edward doubled up, crying out.</p><p>The taxi driver slammed on the brakes, opened the sliding perspex screen and turned his head angrily. “Oi, you! Get out of my fucking cab!” he growled at Sidney.</p><p>Sidney relaxed his grip on Edward. Edward jumped up and sat on the seat, right on top of his phone.</p><p>The driver heaved himself out of his seat onto the pavement. He was a large man, over 6ft, and very bulky, with a bald head and several tattoos on his neck and arms. He opened the rear door and grabbed Sidney by the collar. "Aaht! Now!" He jabbed his thumb backwards. "And,"  he continued, "I'll want paying before you go."</p><p>Lost for words, Sidney glared at Edward and climbed out of the cab. Scrabbling in his pocket, he found a £20 note and pressed it into the driver’s hand. The man grunted. Sidney gave him another tenner.</p><p>“Err... sorry, mate." He gestured at Edward. "Please get him home, he’s had way too much to drink.” The driver nodded gruffly, slammed the rear door and got back in the cab.</p><p>Blearily, Sidney looked around him. He vaguely recognised the street; it was a few minutes' walk from his house. A blast of cold air hit his neck and the ground swayed beneath him. He held onto a nearby lamppost in a bid to keep himself upright. Suddenly, he started to retch. Leaning over the grass verge, he vomited up most of his drinks and some of his food. Sweating, he wiped his mouth with his hand and stumbled towards his house.</p><p>Once inside, he went straight through to the kitchen. Standing at the sink, he splashed water all over his face. Then he filled up a large glass from the tap and drank the whole lot in one go. He remembered standing at the sink with Charlotte, only yesterday. How happy he’d felt then. How beautiful she was. How lovely she smelled. How funny she was, choking on her tea. How sweet her kisses were.  How everything had completely changed in 24 hours. What on earth must she think of him now? What the hell was he going to do?</p><p>He stumbled through to the living room and slumped on the sofa. Grabbing the remote, he switched on the TV. He sat there for some minutes, staring blankly at the screen. He had no idea what he was watching and no idea what to think about the events of the night. Gradually, his eyes closed and he nodded off.</p><p>When he awoke, the early dawn light was beginning to filter through the living room window. His throat felt dry and parched, his head was pounding and he had a crick in the neck. He looked at his watch. 6.30am. The TV was playing some old black and white film. Switching it off, he dragged himself off the sofa and upstairs to the bathroom, where he had a piss. Focusing on the liquid swirling down the toilet bowl, he tried to think but his brain couldn’t handle it. He got some tablets out of the bathroom cabinet and swallowed two back rapidly, looking at himself in the mirror, bleary-eyed. He shouldn’t have been here on his own, hungover, sick, depressed and confused; he should have been curled up in bed with Charlotte in his arms, dreaming happily.</p><p>He went through to his bedroom and stripped off. He smiled ruefully. He’d even made the bed that morning and tidied up some of the mess. Just for her. Chucking his clothes on the floor, he threw himself under the covers and went straight back to sleep. The rest could wait till later.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>In Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown (a Pedro Almodovar film) the same taxi driver keeps popping up throughout the film. My driver is more Medway Towns than Madrid, though.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0024"><h2>24. Hangover</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The morning after the night before...</p><p>So we've gone deep into episode 8. It's going to take a little while to come out the other side...<br/>In the words of Sidney Parker, "You'll just have to trust me..."</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>The next morning, Charlotte, rather subdued, came into the kitchen looking for some tablets to relieve her headache. Esther had just returned from her run and was cooking up some porridge.</p><p>“Charlotte!” she exclaimed. “I had no idea you were here, I didn’t hear you come home last night.”</p><p>“No, it was late,” replied Charlotte, slumping down at the kitchen table.</p><p>“Where is he then? Are you hiding him in the bedroom? I didn’t hear that either!” smiled Esther mischievously.</p><p>“He’s not here,” was all Charlotte could say.</p><p>Esther looked concerned. “What is it, Charlotte? Did something happen?”</p><p>Charlotte groaned and put her head on the table. Very quietly she said, “I don’t know where to start, Esther. It all went horribly wrong.” She began to cry.</p><p>“Oh darling!” Esther knelt down at the table and put her arm around Charlotte. “Would you like some porridge? A cup of tea?”</p><p>Charlotte nodded mutely. She’d taken care to be very quiet, returning to the flat last night; she really hadn’t wanted to wake Esther and face a barrage of questions. She’d simply taken off her dress and laid in bed in the dark, staring at the ceiling for hours, trying to process everything that had happened. She’d asked herself a multitude of questions but still had no idea what the answers were.</p><p>Did he really like her? How could he make her cry with happiness one minute and then stiffen with fear the next? Why had he treated her like that, as if she was some girl he’d just picked up in the club? And yet, he'd stopped as soon as she'd told him to, and he’d seemed genuinely sorry. She’d agreed to go back with him, but she had felt a little apprehensive. Perhaps it was for the best that fate – in the form of Edward – had intervened and separated them for the night. They'd both had a few drinks and the night had gone sour, like rancid milk. But why hadn’t he stopped Edward getting in the cab? Why had he barely said goodbye to her? She’d spent four months mooning over him, getting to know him, and wondering if he’d ever make a bloody move, and then suddenly she felt like she didn’t know him at all.</p><p>Esther placed a steaming bowl of porridge in front of her. “Eat,” she instructed. Charlotte slowly ate the porridge. Halfway through, she put her spoon down and started crying again.</p><p>“Are you going to tell me what happened?”</p><p>Charlotte began the story: the restaurant, the club, the dance, the fire escape, Edward and Clara, the fateful taxi ride. She skipped over some of the details on the fire escape; partly because she didn’t want Esther to think too badly of Sidney, partly because she felt a little ashamed. Why hadn’t she stopped him earlier? It was as if she’d frozen; she really hadn’t been expecting it. Had she even enjoyed it? She wasn’t sure. She didn’t understand how one day she was yearning for him to take her against the sink in his house, and the next day the thought made her blood run cold.</p><p>“Charlotte,” said Esther, “What do you mean, he got a bit carried away?” She looked concerned.</p><p>“I think...” Charlotte replied slowly, “I think he was a bit drunk. He wasn’t his usual self. I don’t know, suddenly things just didn’t seem right.”</p><p>“What did he do?”</p><p>“Esther, I don’t want to go into details. Sorry. Maybe it’s for the best that I didn’t go back to his house.” Charlotte gazed morosely into her bowl.</p><p>Esther frowned. “God, that’s awful about Edward and Clara though, isn’t it? How disgusting! Poor girl, she must have no self-respect.”</p><p>Charlotte sighed. “I don’t know what’s going on there and quite frankly, I don’t give a damn anymore.”</p><p>“Look, Charlotte,” said Esther, patting her arm. “Put it down to experience. He was tired, he had too much to drink, he didn’t like the club, sometimes you just have a bad night. Why did you even go on to that club? It's a dive."</p><p>"I don't know," sighed Charlotte, "Leon and the others invited me, they said it would be fun. I didn't know Sidney hated the place. I thought we'd just stay a short time and then slip away. Oh god, what a mess." She put her head in her hands.</p><p>"Well, try not to worry. Things can’t always be perfect. I’m sure he’s sitting at home right now feeling guilty and he’s going to call you any minute.”</p><p>Charlotte paused, her cup of tea halfway to her mouth. “He doesn’t have my phone number.”</p><p>“What?! How on earth is that possible?” Esther was shocked.</p><p>Charlotte shrugged her shoulders. “It just never came up. I guess we see each other every day and... we assumed we’d end up together last night.” She started crying again.</p><p>“Yes, but he knows where you live, darling! Perhaps he’s on his way over right now! Why don’t you go and have a shower? That’ll make you feel better.” Esther came over and gave her a hug.</p><p> </p><p>She did feel a little better after the shower but Sidney didn’t turn up. Not that day and not the next. She hardly slept on Saturday night, as a multitude of different scenarios raced through her mind. By Sunday lunchtime there was a ball of anxiety in the pit of her stomach. What if something had happened to him? What if he’d had a fight with Edward and was lying in a gutter somewhere? All kinds of fantastical images flooded her brain. At 1pm on Sunday, she put on her trainers, got her phone out, typed “Highbury Close” into Google Maps and headed off towards his house. It was a good two and a half mile walk.</p><p>As she approached the Close, the ball of anxiety got tighter and tighter. What was she going to say to him? He clearly didn’t want to see her, for whatever reason. But when she got to the house, no one was there. His car wasn’t outside and there was no sign of movement inside. She rang the doorbell twice but nobody answered. Dejected and tired, she realised she had no pen or paper on her. She couldn’t even leave him a note.</p><p>So she trudged back to Sanditon seafront and sat on the promenade for a very long time, gazing at the sea, watching the waves rise and fall. It was a beautifully sunny day but she hardly noticed. People came past her, walking, cycling, pushing pushchairs, steering wheelchairs, driving mobility scooters, even Joe Braithwaite came past on his bike with some of his pals, doing wheelies along the seafront – “Hello, Miss!” he shouted – but she barely registered. As darkness began to fall, she picked herself up and went home.</p><p>“Charlotte! Where you have been?” asked a concerned Esther, who was busy cooking soup again. “Are you hungry?”</p><p>“No, not really." She took her coat off and threw it over the back of the chair, bending down to remove her trainers.</p><p>"Charlotte, have you heard from Sidney?" Esther was really worried now. She came over and put her hand on Charlotte's shoulder.</p><p>Charlotte looked up. "No. Nothing."</p><p>"Oh darling, do you want to talk about it?"</p><p>Charlotte's expression was blank. "Sorry Esther, not now, I think I'll just go to bed.” After cleaning her teeth, she shut the door of her bedroom, laid down on the bed and cried herself to sleep.</p><p> </p><p>***************************************************************</p><p> </p><p>After crashing out on his bed early on Saturday morning, Sidney slept until 11am. When he awoke, the wintry December sun was streaming through the curtains. His headache had more or less gone and he felt rested. He sprang out of bed and went to the bathroom, ready to face the day. It was only as he was emptying his bladder that the events of last night started to come back to him. He washed his hands and leaned on the sink, staring at his pale, unshaven face in the mirror.</p><p>His memory gradually returned, in little jagged jigsaw pieces that were somehow supposed to fit together. It was like one of those drunken nights at university when it took him most of the day to remember what had actually happened the night before, only this time it was much, much worse. Charlotte's look of hurt and confusion when he'd sprung back from her on the fire escape. What had he been thinking? Where had that come from? She didn't deserve to be treated like that. She'd agreed to come home with him, but she'd looked a bit unsure. And then Edward and Clara. God, that made him feel sick all over again. Edward barging in the taxi and ordering everyone around. Edward's threats. Their fight. The photo. The photo! Oh, Jesus Christ.</p><p>What the hell was he going to do? He dealt with it the only way he knew how, by retreating into his man cave. Or, more accurately, by heading out on his bike. It was a cold, sunny day and it was hard going up the hills, the frosty air obstructing his breathing, but he kept pushing and pushing, thinking and thinking as he rode. After about two hours, he reached the top of Ditchling Beacon, the highest peak on the Sussex Downs, and stopped for a rest. Looking out over the undulating hills, with the sea shimmering in the distance, he came to a conclusion.</p><p>He had no choice. He would have to give her up. It wasn’t just that his job was at risk. His family’s financial future was at stake: Tom and Mary’s precarious arrangement and their three beautiful children, all threatened by Edward’s malice and his own stupidity. Worse than that, if that photo ever became public, it would do no end of harm to Charlotte; her bright career, her hopes, her future. She didn't deserve that. Nor did she deserve to be saddled with him and all his responsibilities, all his baggage, all his fuck-ups. She was young, she was beautiful, she was intelligent, and in some ways oddly innocent. She deserved to be free, to be her own person, to find love with someone who was worthy of her. Someone who would treat her the way she deserved. Not him.</p><p>Although part of him wanted nothing more than to fly down the hill, pedal furiously all the way to her flat, take her in his arms and hold her tight, he knew that was selfish. That was what he wanted, not what was best for her. As for Edward, he would have to hope that if he kept away from him, avoiding any mention of the taxi ride or their fight, if he trod carefully, evading the rumours, keeping his distance from Charlotte, Edward would not have any reason to use the photo and might even forget about it. He hoped.</p><p>There was no doubt in his mind now. He loved her too much to bring her down with him. He had to let her go.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Sorry!<br/>But he did go and spend a week in London and try and sort everything out by himself, and come up with the worst possible solution. If he'd taken Charlotte with him, she'd have solved the dilemma in no time! Instead he went deep into his man cave and decided he wasn't worthy of her. That's my take on it anyway...</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0025"><h2>25. Breaking up</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>I'm sorry for making people sad all over again. I make myself sad!<br/>This is the first story I've written and I started off writing it for myself... so I may be working through some past experiences in here.<br/>But things will work out, don't worry.<br/>This chapter is a little painful as you can tell by the title, but after that it starts to improve...</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>Monday morning. The last few days of the Christmas term. Charlotte, still dazed and confused about the events of the last week, and hurt that Sidney hadn’t contacted her, dragged herself into school. In the staffroom, she avoided eye contact with everyone. Leon bounced over to see her.</p><p>“Hi, Charlotte! Good weekend?” he said, smiling broadly.</p><p>“Oh, okay, yeah.” She turned away to sort out her books. Leon frowned. That was unlike her. She looked pale and her hair was lank.</p><p>Before she went to her first class, Charlotte checked her email inbox. She inhaled sharply. There was a message from Sidney. It was short and to the point.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>19/12/19              7.30am</em>
</p><p>Dear Charlotte,</p><p>Can you come to my office after school please? There’s a matter we need to discuss.</p><p>Have a good day.</p><p>Thanks,</p><p>Sidney Parker</p><p> </p><p>She frowned. <em>What the fuck?</em> That’s all he had to say? <em>A matter to discuss!</em> A matter! Is that all she was to him? A problem to be solved? Why couldn’t he have come and seen in her person, like he did that other time in the staffroom? Why the hell hadn’t he come to her flat at the weekend to “discuss the matter”? She was getting angry now.</p><p>It was a so-so day; the students were getting restless, it was nearly the end of term and there wasn’t much serious work to be done. She drifted through her lessons, not really concentrating. She didn’t see Sidney at all, not even at lunchtime. It seemed like he was avoiding her. She considered not even bothering to go to his office, but she wasn’t that cowardly.</p><p> </p><p>At 3.30, she knocked apprehensively on his door. “Come in,” he called.</p><p>Slowly, she entered the room. He was sitting behind his desk, jacket on, looking serious. However, when he saw her, his eyes seemed to soften somewhat.</p><p>“Sit down, Charlotte,” he said quietly, indicating the seat on the other side of his desk. There was a long pause.</p><p><em>Fuck,</em> thought Sidney, <em>I can’t do this.</em> As soon as he saw her, something melted inside him. She looked pale and tired; she had no make-up on and her hair was a little greasy. All he wanted to do was gather her in his arms and tell her everything was going to be alright, that he loved her. But he knew he couldn’t.</p><p>Charlotte continued staring at her shoes; she couldn’t meet his eyes.</p><p>“Charlotte, look at me,” he said.</p><p>Defiantly, she turned her eyes towards him. “What was the matter you wished to discuss?”</p><p>He sighed. “Don’t be like that.”</p><p>“What do you mean, don’t be like that?” she said coldly, although her voice rose a little. He got up from the desk and turned away from her, walking towards the window. Then he faced her again, hands in pockets. He launched straight into it.</p><p>“Charlotte, have you told anyone about what happened between us... last week?”</p><p>“No,” she said, “of course not. Only Esther.”</p><p>He breathed a sigh of relief. “Good.”</p><p>Christ, thought Charlotte, is that was this is about? Covering your back?</p><p>“Look, Charlotte,” he moved a step forward, “I’ve been thinking over the weekend and... I don’t think it’s a good idea.”</p><p>It was like an arrow through her heart, but her tone stayed icy. “What’s not a good idea?”</p><p>“Us. A relationship. It’s not a good idea. There’s too much at stake.”</p><p>“Then why,” her voice was trembling, getting louder, “why, exactly, have you been buttering me up for <em>four </em>months, telling me your life story, telling me you want me, practically... practically <em>fucking</em> me on Friday night, if you didn’t think it was a good idea?” She was standing up now, facing him, gripping the side of the desk.</p><p>“Charlotte, I... err... I'm sorry about that."  He looked down at the floor, embarrassed. "I really didn't mean to... you know. Forgive me. I was drunk."</p><p>“And Thursday, in the kitchen, were you drunk then too? Were you drunk on Wednesday, in the car?”  Her tone was quieter, but pointed.</p><p>“No, I... look, Charlotte, I like you, I like you a lot, I really do. If there was any other way... if I wasn’t your boss..." He waved his arms in frustration. "I should have known. I thought maybe we could make it work, but after Friday night... everyone saw us, they'll all be talking about us, it’s too much of a risk. I have my family to think of, and you... you’re just at the start of your career. I don’t want to mess things up for you.”</p><p>She contemplated him. He was lying. There was something else. Perhaps it was her rejection of him, her failure to put out. Perhaps she wasn’t quite what he’d hoped. Perhaps he too thought she was a prick tease.</p><p>He continued, looking directly at her. “Listen, about two years ago, I um... had an affair with a teacher here. She was a supply teacher, she was only here four months. But it kind of went sour and she... she wouldn’t leave me alone, she pursued me. It made life very difficult. I just worry that if we started something and it went wrong, it would ruin things for both of us.”</p><p>“Jesus Christ, Sidney, I’m not some kind of bunny boiler!” she spat out.</p><p>He laughed, despite himself.</p><p>“Well, I’m glad you find this so fucking funny.” She was lashing out now, hurting, tears in her eyes. “Fine, then. If that's what you want." She folded her arms. "But do you know what really upsets me, Sidney? You didn’t even have the fucking courage to come and see me this weekend and tell me this to my face. I mean, Jesus, it's not as if you don't know where I live. You leave me hanging the whole bloody weekend, you send me an email, for Christ's sake, and then you make me wait all day to speak to you.”</p><p>“Charlotte, I...”</p><p>“I came round your house yesterday. Did you know that? I walked five fucking miles there and back to your house, and you weren’t even there.” Tears were now streaming down her face.</p><p>Sidney’s heart contracted. He started to move towards her, desperate to take her in his arms.</p><p>“I didn’t know that Charlotte, I was at Diana’s for lunch... oh Charlotte.” He reached forward.</p><p>“Keep away from me!” she screamed, moving back abruptly. “I understand perfectly well what happened. You thought I would be a nice bit of fun, but I wasn’t. I wouldn’t do what you wanted.”</p><p>“No, that’s not true... Charlotte, please... please don't think that of me," Distressed, he grabbed her arm.</p><p>She snatched it away. “Get off!” she hissed, "Just leave me alone. Please."</p><p>Spinning round, she fled through the door.</p><p> </p><p>Sidney sank down into his chair, leaning on the table, his head in his hands. It was worse than he’d ever anticipated. All he wanted to do was run after her and tell her he loved her, tell her he was sorry. But he knew that was impossible.</p><p> </p><p>Charlotte ran to the staffroom and, avoiding everyone’s gaze, quickly gathered up her bags and books.</p><p>“Hi Charlotte!” called Leon. “Do you want to...” His voice trailed away as he saw her face. She shook her head and left the room as quickly as she could.</p><p>She walked swiftly along the seafront, stopping at a bench where she took out her phone. She hadn’t spoken to Georgie since last week, but she needed to now.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>- Hi Charlotte, how’s things?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Well, not so good...</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Oh god, I’m so glad you’ve called. I had a massive fight with Otis at the weekend, I’ve been so upset.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Really? I’m sorry, what happened?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- We just started arguing over something stupid, and he said I only wanted him for his money and for his looks. I don’t know how he can say that! I said I wanted him for his soul and he said I was bullshitting. I accused him of being lazy, not wanting to get a proper job, never wanting to join me on marches and stuff, and then he said we weren’t suited, and we should call it a day, because all we ever do is argue...</em>
</p><p>She was crying down the phone. Charlotte sighed. Bad timing.</p><p>
  <em>- Sorry, Georgie. Why didn’t you ring me before?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Well I was hoping to patch things up, but I tried calling him today and he put the phone down on me. Oh Char, now I’ve got to go to my aunt’s for Christmas and I’m going to be so miserable...</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Don’t be silly, you’ll have fun with your cousins. Anyway, I’m coming to London at New Year, aren’t I? We can go out and forget all about men!</em>
</p><p>She tried desperately to remain upbeat.</p><p>
  <em>- Yeah, I guess. So what did you want to tell me?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Oh, nothing much, I’ll tell you when I see you. Look, I’ve got to go, I don’t have much battery left. </em>
</p><p>It was a lie but she couldn’t deal with Georgie’s problems right now, and Georgie clearly couldn’t deal with hers.</p><p>
  <em>- Look, I’m sure Otis will come round. Give him a day or two, yeah? I know he really loves you.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- I hope so. Okay, I’ll let you go. Bye!</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Bye.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Charlotte hung up, dejectedly. Some Christmas this was going to be. She walked slowly home to the flat, where she sat in Esther’s arms on the sofa, sobbing her heart out until she thought it would break into a thousand tiny pieces.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Sorry. But at least Charlotte had someone to give her a cuddle afterwards, which is more than she got in Sanditon! </p><p>“All by Myself” - originally by Eric Carmen (1975), covered by Jamie O’Neal for the Bridget Jones film. Classic Bridget scene!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0026"><h2>26. Christmas</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Charlotte goes home to Willingden for Christmas (in a train carriage)<br/>And Mary tries to talk some sense into Sidney...</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span class="u">Part 3 – Being apart<br/></span>
</p><p>
  <span class="u">December – January 2020</span>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>There were two more days left of the Christmas term. Charlotte moved through them numbly, as if in a daze. The only high point was on Wednesday, when her Drama Club students performed their sketches to the whole school. It went brilliantly; they managed to get their message about homelessness across with humour and pathos and the reaction of the audience was gratifying. She was proud of them. As she was leaving the hall, she saw Sidney standing in the doorway. She put her head down and tried to avoid him, but he stopped her with his hand.</p><p>“Miss Heywood,” he said formally, as there were lots of students around. “I just want to tell you how brilliant that was. You’ve worked so hard.” He was smiling kindly at her.</p><p>“Yes,” she said shortly. “I’m very proud of them.”</p><p>“You should be proud of yourself… Charlotte,” he said quietly.</p><p>She looked up at him blankly and walked away. All those weeks of Drama Club, all those chats in the car, all those lingering looks. Now, nothing. She went to the toilets and cried, yet again. Later that afternoon, just before her last class, she noticed she had another email. From Sidney.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>21/12/19              1.45pm</em>
</p><p>Dear Charlotte,</p><p>I think it would be best if we switch your mentoring sessions over to Dan Ferrars next term. I’ve spoken to him and he is happy to do this. I’m quite sure you won’t need much mentoring anyway – you’re doing brilliantly. I hope this is acceptable to you.</p><p>Have a good Christmas,</p><p>Sidney</p><p>P.S. I’m sorry.</p><p> </p><p>Her face started to crumple again, then she pulled herself together. Well, that was that then. She might as well never have met him. She gathered her books and headed off to the final class of the year.</p><p> </p><p>***********************************************</p><p> </p><p>Charlotte spent Christmas in Willingden, as usual, in the loving bosom of her family. There were so many of them that it was impossible for them all to stay in the same house. Richard, who worked in America, was unable to come over with his family this year, but Elinor, a midwife at Dorchester General, drove over for the day with her husband and three children, and William, a solicitor in Oxford, rented a cottage nearby for his family. Sam and his Dutch wife and their new baby flew over from Amsterdam and took up the largest spare room, so she and her younger sister Alison, home from her final year of a Sociology degree at Bournemouth University, shared a double bed, as they had done as children from time to time.</p><p>Although Alison was younger than her by around four years, they had always been close and Charlotte found her easier to talk to than Elinor, who was eight years her elder and could be a little overbearing. She had of course kept in touch with Alison throughout her time in Sanditon, but she hadn’t confided much about Sidney; she wanted to wait until she was sure what was going on. Now there didn’t seem much point. But Alison was perceptive and could see that Charlotte wasn’t her usual self. On Christmas Eve, catching Charlotte crying in their bedroom, she sat on the bed and persuaded her to tell the whole story.</p><p>Charlotte poured out her heart and Alison comforted her. They both agreed that his behaviour was inexplicable and inexcusable; once again, Charlotte skimmed over the details of what had happened on the fire escape, focusing rather on his sudden change of heart about their possible future.</p><p>“Perhaps it’s for the best, Charlotte,” said Alison, finally. “He’s older than you, he’s divorced, it could all get a bit messy. Surely there’s someone your own age you could get to know.”</p><p>Charlotte thought of Leon. Although he’d mentioned he was seeing someone, it didn’t seem to be that serious, and Charlotte was well aware that he admired her. He was gorgeous, it was true, in a shiny, boyish kind of way, and physically very fit, but somehow she just couldn’t think about him like that. Whenever she looked at Sidney, or when he was near her, even when she simply heard the deep bass tones of his voice, it did something quite inexplicable to her insides. And somehow she couldn’t imagine talking to Leon about literature. Not that Sidney was any great shakes when it came to authors, but he’d lived more, he’d been abroad, he obviously thought about things deeply, and he had at least tried to read Jane Eyre. She wondered if he’d ever finished it. Leon seemed to be mostly interested in football, cricket and rowing; he was a PE teacher after all.</p><p>“I don’t know, Alison,” she sighed. “I can’t seem to think past him at the moment. I’ll just have to put him out of my mind. Focus on other things for a while. Anyway, how about you, how’s Max?”</p><p>Max was Alison’s latest boyfriend at university; a tall, athletic type, studying Civil Engineering. Alison began to wax lyrical about him and the two sisters talked long into the night, side by side, before finally falling asleep.</p><p> </p><p>Christmas Day was hectic, noisy and fun; the house was filled with the sounds of children playing and laughing, adults chatting, eating and drinking, and Charlotte hardly had any time to think about herself.</p><p>The next day, Boxing Day, they went on their usual family walk around the Undercliff, a nature reserve by the sea. Pensively admiring the nature around her, Charlotte had dropped back from the others and her mother, Jane, joined her. Jane had noticed that something was up with her second youngest daughter. She linked arms with her as they walked along.</p><p>“Charlotte, you haven’t told me all that much about Sanditon.”</p><p>“Oh it’s fine, mum, the job’s really good.”</p><p>“I wasn’t really thinking about the job, dear, I was wondering if you’d made many... friends.”</p><p>“A few. There’s my flatmate Esther, and the teachers from school. I sometimes go to the pub with them.”</p><p>Although Charlotte loved her mum, she didn’t always find her the easiest person to talk to. Jane came from quite a traditional farming background and had left school at 16; her life revolved around her children, and now her grandchildren. Although she didn’t seem to mind her sons moving away from home, she had always wanted her daughters to remain nearby, and wasn’t as interested in their studies or careers, as she seemed to think this would all fall by the wayside once they got married and had children. Charlotte’s dad came from a similar rural background, but he’d always read a lot of books and was more appreciative of Charlotte’s thirst for life, literature and travel.</p><p>“You’ve been a bit quiet since you arrived, dear. And you don't seem to be eating much. Alison said you were having boy trouble...”</p><p>
  <em>Oh, Alison, bloody hell!</em>
</p><p>“Well, mum, firstly he’s not a boy.” <em>Sidney Parker, a boy, honestly!</em> “He’s older than me.”</p><p>“How old? Is he married?” Jane was concerned.</p><p>“In his thirties. No, he’s not married, he’s divorced.”</p><p>“Oh, he has children then!”</p><p>“No, he doesn’t have children. Sometimes he looks after his nieces and nephew.”</p><p>“So what’s the problem? Oh Charlotte, you’re not pregnant are you?” Jane looked aghast.</p><p>Charlotte laughed. “No mum, I’m not pregnant! I haven’t even... I mean, nothing really happened. It’s just... he’s my boss... and...”</p><p>“Oh dear, you can’t go out with your boss! Bound to cause trouble.”</p><p>“Well we’re not going out any more mum. It basically finished before it even started. So you don’t need to worry. And mum? Please don’t say anything to dad. Alison should never have told you anyway.”</p><p>“Charlotte,” said her mum, now more worried than shocked, “you know I tell your father everything. And I’m glad Alison told me. She said you were crying.”</p><p>Charlotte was silent.</p><p>“Oh I do wish you’d stayed with that nice James, dear. He was such a lovely young man.”</p><p>Charlotte rolled her eyes. Here was another of her mother’s favourite topics. Lovely young James. So handsome. So ambitious. So rich. She could well imagine that Sidney Parker would fail to live up to her mother’s expectations: older, divorced, cash-strapped, grumpy. Just as well he wasn’t interested in her any more.</p><p>“Well never mind,” continued Jane, “I’m sure you’ll meet someone your own age. There’s no use pining, is there love?”</p><p> </p><p>*****************************************</p><p> </p><p>Meanwhile, back in Sussex, Sidney spent Christmas Day as usual, at Diana and Susan’s house, with all the extended family. This year Arthur had brought along his new boyfriend Fred, and even managed to turn up in time for dinner. The big change, however, was that Tom was there with them for the first time in four years. This was a huge milestone in Tom and Mary’s reconciliation and Sidney recalled, with a pang of regret, that it was in fact Charlotte they had to thank for that. Charlotte had never met his wider family and now it looked like she never would.</p><p>The three children were delighted to have their father there with them, and spent most of the day monopolising him. Consequently, their “three mummies” were rather sidelined for once, but they didn’t mind. Tom had cut down on his drinking and even switched to e-cigarettes, which everyone was grateful for. He and Mary still didn’t really talk much, but at least they were able to be in the same room again.</p><p>After dinner, Mary cleared the table and Sidney, feeling a little restless, decided to join her in the kitchen to help wash up, as there was a huge pile to get through that wouldn’t fit in the dishwasher. Sidney wiped up the dishes quietly, not really wanting to talk much. He was thinking about Charlotte again, wishing she were here. Everyone else had a partner of some sorts there today, except him.</p><p>“How are you getting on with Tom, then?” he asked, by way of conversation.</p><p>“Oh, you know,” sighed Mary, “good days and bad days. We’re getting there. Sometimes I even see glimpses of his old self. That’s what I miss, you know – the old Tom, the Tom who was fun to be with, his boyish enthusiasm. All that just got worn away...”</p><p>She paused, her rubber-gloved hands deep in the sink. Then she looked at Sidney out of the corner of her eye.</p><p>“So Sidney, how’s Charlotte?” she enquired, grinning.</p><p>The question took Sidney by surprise. “What do you mean...?”</p><p>“Come on, Sidney. Henry told me. ‘Sidney was kissing Charlotte at the kitchen sink.’ How romantic of you!” she laughed.</p><p>Of course. Henry had seen them; interrupted them in fact – just as well really.</p><p>Sidney looked down at the floor. “Unfortunately... that didn’t work out.”</p><p>“Oh no! She was so helpful to us about the counselling, too. It would have been nice to meet her.” Mary was frowning; it wasn’t like Sidney to be so secretive with her.</p><p>“She’s gone home to Dorset for Christmas. Look Mary, I was... getting close to Charlotte, but I’ve had to break it off. Last Monday in fact. I’m her boss and it’s just not... appropriate.”</p><p>Mary placed a soapy wet pan down on the drainer and turned to look at him. “Did you want to break it off?”</p><p>He sighed. “Not really, no.”</p><p>“And how did she take it?”</p><p>He looked down at the floor again. “Badly, I’d say. She was upset and angry. She swore at me and she cried. So no, not great.” Tears were forming in his eyes at the memory of it.</p><p>Mary took off her washing up gloves and gave Sidney a hug. “Come here.”</p><p> </p><p>Mary had always had a soft spot for Sidney, especially since her life had been blown apart four years ago. He’d made some incredible sacrifices to help Tom and to look after her and the children. She knew they sometimes relied on him too much, but he never complained, and the children adored him. Diana had been amazingly good to her too, especially financially, but Sidney, a young, divorced, very busy teacher had freely offered the use of his home, his car and his time just so that Jenny, Alicia and Henry could see their father regularly, without having to witness the tense scenes between her and Tom that threatened to erupt at any moment.</p><p>Sidney was so good. And she couldn’t help admiring him as a man, too. It was something she would never have told anyone, not even her best friend, she knew it was just silly middle-aged hormones, but even though he was ten years younger than her, she thought he was a fine figure of a man. It didn’t help that Mary hadn’t been anywhere near a man since her split from Tom; she simply didn’t have the time or the energy. Now that Henry had started school, she had finally got a job – Diana wouldn’t let her work before, there was enough money to support all of them – and she hoped that now she would be able to get out more and meet people. But she did wish Sidney would settle down, and she'd been so excited when the children had told her about Charlotte, how pretty and funny she was. She’d never much liked that Eliza, who was rather cold and vain. He deserved to be happy, more than anyone. He would make a wonderful dad.</p><p> </p><p>“So are you going to tell me what really happened?”</p><p>He sat down on one of the kitchen chairs and dried his eyes. He briefly told her the story, although he skimmed over the parts about the fire escape and the photo; he still felt ashamed about that. He did, however, tell her that Edward had threatened him in the taxi and he felt he had no choice but to break it off with Charlotte.</p><p>“But what did she say about it, Sidney? About Edward’s threats and so on?”</p><p>Sidney looked at her, puzzled. “Well, I didn’t tell her about that, obviously.”</p><p>“So you didn’t call her, talk to her the next day and explain what had happened? You didn’t ask her opinion on what you should do? Together?”</p><p>Sidney stared at her. “Err.... no. I just waited until Monday, and then told her it was over.”</p><p>Mary put her hands on her hips, exasperated. “Sidney! My god, you’re just like Tom.”</p><p>“What?” Sidney was shocked. “How on earth am I like Tom?”</p><p>“Don’t you see? You made all the decisions by yourself! You didn’t even ask her what she wanted; no wonder she’s angry with you. Oh Sidney, with Tom, it wasn’t what he did, the dodgy business deals, the debts, even the drinking, it’s the fact that he kept it all hidden from me, he didn’t tell me his worries or let me help him. Ever. Of course, he accuses me of only caring about the children, of neglecting him. But what could I do? I had three young children, they needed me. If he’d only talked to me, if we could have shared our problems, it would have made things so much easier.”</p><p>Sidney pondered. “But Mary, that was a marriage... you’d been together a long time. I hardly know Charlotte. She’s probably better off without me. She deserves better.”</p><p>“But now you’ll never know, Sidney. You’ll never know whether you could have worked it out together.”</p><p>“Well,” he said, picking up his tea towel, “it’s too late now. She was so angry with me, Mary.”</p><p>“Sidney, it's never too late, don't give up at the first hurdle.” </p><p>Then an idea came into her head. “You could always change jobs, couldn't you? Look for a post at another school. Then nobody would bother you. Of course, she’s only just started in Sanditon, but you’ve been there – what? – four years? Maybe it’s time for a change.”</p><p>Sidney stopped midway through drying a pan and stared at Mary. Then he broke into a grin.</p><p>“Mary, you’re a bloody genius!”</p><p>“I don’t know about that, Sidney,” she said, rolling her eyes. “It wasn’t that hard to work out!”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I’m not saying anything about Mary and her middle-aged fantasies... !</p><p>Dorset makes me think of The French Lieutenant's Woman by John Fowles (also a film starring Meryl Streep and Jeremy Irons).<br/>The main character, Sarah Woodruff, spends her days on the Cobb at Lyme Regis, pining after her lost lover. There's also a famous scene in the Undercliff.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0027"><h2>27. The Greek God</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A slightly gratuitous chapter designed to give me the opportunity to describe Sidney Parker in swimming trunks...</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>Charlotte left Dorset a few days after Christmas and travelled up to London to stay with Georgie for New Year. She was looking forward to going out, dancing, drinking, having fun and most of all, forgetting about Sidney Parker. She’d spoken to Georgie over Christmas and she and Otis were back on. She was relieved. It could be exhausting, listening to Georgie’s relationship woes. She liked Otis and she thought they had a good future together, if only they would both compromise a little. She hadn’t told her that much about Sidney, and now that it was a while since the dizzying events of the last week of term, she wasn’t sure she really wanted to go over the whole sorry saga again. She simply said that they hadn’t slept together, he’d got drunk at the Christmas party and they’d fallen out. She was going to try and put him out of her mind.</p><p>She had a plan. New year, new resolutions. It was time to get fit. Since the seabathing season had ended in Sanditon, basically September, she’d hardly done any regular exercise. No wonder she’d puffed and panted at the football match. It wasn’t about looking good for Sidney, or any other man come to that, it was to make herself feel better, stop her clothes feeling tight and most importantly, take her mind off things.</p><p>She’d discovered there was a swimming pool in Eastbourne she could get to by bus, and she intended to go as regularly as she could. Leon had also offered to show her around the equipment in the school gym, which teachers could use after school. He had in fact been very keen when she’d asked about it. She wasn’t sure what to think about that; he’d made a point of mentioning that he’d split up with his girlfriend over Christmas.</p><p>Although forgetting about Sidney Parker was easy when she was in London, going out with her friends in the bustling city, it wasn’t so easy back in Sanditon, where she didn’t know so many people and where – big hitch here – she had a chance of bumping into him every day. She wasn’t prepared for it, the first time she saw him. They had one of those corridor bumping moments again, except this time she didn’t spill his coffee or make him drop his files, and he didn’t swear at her. In fact, neither of them said anything at first, they just stood there, breathing heavily, looking at each other and trying desperately not to look at each other.</p><p> </p><p>Eventually, he spoke. “Hi Charlotte. Did you... have a good Christmas?”</p><p>“Yes thanks.” Looks to the side, out of the window. “You?”</p><p>“Yes, good. Are your... family well?”</p><p>“Perfectly well, thank you. How are the children?”</p><p>A smile. “Happy. Excited. They asked after you.”</p><p>“Really. Well. I’d better be going. Good day.”</p><p>“Bye.”</p><p><em>Oh no,</em> thought Charlotte. <em>He’s beautiful and I still want him. Why doesn’t he want me? Bastard.</em></p><p><em>Oh no,</em> thought Sidney. <em>She hates me and she’s never going to forgive me. She hardly even looked at me.</em></p><p> </p><p>Sidney had also been in London, staying with Brad. They’d tried as hard as they could to enjoy themselves at New Year, but ended up staring morosely into their pints and heading home shortly after midnight. Frank was on holiday in the Caribbean with his latest girlfriend. Brad was particularly disappointed about Sidney’s falling out with Charlotte – that was how he’d explained it too – especially once he was told that the beautiful redhead from the Lighthouse café was her flatmate. Now there seemed little hope of a double date. He’d just have to try hanging round the seafront in the early mornings, preferably without his mum. January 2<sup>nd</sup> was Sidney’s 36<sup>th</sup> birthday, but neither of them were in the mood for going out, so they watched old replays of Match of the Day on the TV and drank beer and didn’t talk about women once.</p><p> </p><p>*******************************************</p><p> </p><p>Saturday lunchtime, a couple of weeks into January. Charlotte caught the bus to Eastbourne. It was raining on the way to the bus stop and she got soaked. She really must learn to drive; maybe next year, when she’d be earning a bit more money.</p><p>At the pool, she changed into her regulation black Speedo swimsuit, picked up her swimming hat and goggles, had a quick blast under the shower, and walked out onto the poolside. Standing on the side, she twisted her hair up into a ponytail and began stuffing it into her swimming cap.</p><p>“Charlotte!”</p><p>She looked around, surprised. A child’s voice.</p><p>“Charlotte!” again. Another child. Her eyes followed the sound.</p><p> </p><p>Oh my god. Henry, Alicia and Jenny. With Sidney. She stopped in her tracks. Not just Sidney. Naked Sidney. Naked from the waist up, as far as the eye could see. She didn’t like to think about what lay under the water. Hands on hips, he was standing in the shallow end; the water barely came up to the top of his black swimming shorts. She had never seen his naked chest before and it was... magnificent, like a Greek god. Broad shouldered, lean and muscular, slim, but very solid somehow. The kind of chest you could weep on, the kind of strong arms that would enfold you and never let you go. Dark, black hairs covering his nipples, hairs that were laced with droplets of water, trailing down his stomach, over his navel, in that perfect V shape towards...</p><p>“Hi Charlotte,” he said, wading over, his hair wet and shiny, beads of water on his face, smiling at her. “Aren’t you going to get in?”</p><p>She nodded and slid into the shallow end of the pool. The water only came up to her waist. She was acutely aware of her breasts, covered only by a thin layer of fabric. The air on the poolside was quite cold and her nipples were standing on end. She was also acutely aware of her stupid swimming cap, encasing her hair and making her look like some of kind of ninja turtle, her goggles perched on her head. She could hardly take it off now. Embarrassed, she swiftly immersed herself in the water. Down below the surface, she suddenly came face to face with Sidney Parker’s shorts. They were long Lycra swimming shorts, a bit like cycling shorts, and they left very little to the imagination. He was seriously impressive. Realising she might have lingered underwater a little longer than was seemly, she burst up through the surface, spluttering.</p><p>“See!” said Henry. “I told you she was a mermaid!”</p><p>Charlotte kept her shoulders under the water, only her head poking out, trying not to look at Sidney’s chest. And his beautiful face. Oh god, she’d better say something.</p><p>“Hello. Um... do you come here often?” Really not the right thing to say, it sounded like a chat-up line.</p><p>He smiled down at her tenderly. “Yeah, every so often, gives Mary a break and the kids love it. She’s not keen on swimming. We’re going to meet Tom later, once he’s finished his shift. You been coming here regularly then?”</p><p>“Actually, it’s the first time I’ve been. But it’s my New Year’s Resolution to get fit.”</p><p><em>You look pretty fit to me</em>, he thought. Even in that silly cap. In fact, he thought the cap was rather cute. All he could see was her lovely eyes, her cute nose and her dimples; she looked almost childlike. But not quite. He’d quickly drunk in her figure in that swimsuit before she got in the pool. It wasn’t quite as flattering as the red one she’d worn in the sea, but it still didn’t leave much to the imagination. Damn. He’d been trying to forget about her and now he knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that he was going to think about her tonight. Probably all night.</p><p>“Charlotte! Come and play with us!” shouted Jenny and Alicia. They were ducking in and out of the water, swimming between each other’s legs. Henry was bobbing around with his armbands on. Sidney gave her a quizzical, hesitant look. “You want to join us for a while?”</p><p>She came to her senses. She mustn’t go there again. “Oh no, sorry kids, but I came here to swim lengths and I haven’t got that long, I have to get the bus back at 4.”</p><p>“You came on the bus?” asked Sidney, his head tilted to one side. “We could give you a lift back, if you like. We’re meeting Tom at 4.”</p><p>“No, don’t worry. That’s too early for me. Excuse me, I need to go.”</p><p>Without saying another word, she pulled her goggles over her eyes and dived under the water, swimming beneath the ropes towards the adult lanes at the far end of the pool. Without looking back, she began to swim up and down, as fast as she could. First, a smooth, fluid breaststroke. Tears were pricking her eyes and steaming up her goggles. How ridiculous, she thought, you can’t cry in the swimming pool. She transitioned into front crawl, gliding through the water and clearing her mind, trying as hard as she could to think about nothing. Nothing except the weightless sensation of pulling and kicking through the chlorine.</p><p>But it was impossible to put him from her mind. That beautiful chest, those strong thighs, the... bulge in his shorts. Goodness. And he was surprisingly hairy. Much hairier than James, in fact, but she wouldn’t have cared if he had hairs all over his back, like a silverback gorilla, she still wanted him. <em>Stop it, Charlotte.</em> Distracted, she nearly careered into another swimmer coming in the opposite direction, who glared at her through his goggles. She continued the fluid sweep of her crawl, enjoying the feeling of the water slimming her stomach and caressing her legs. As she kicked, she could feel a pulsing sensation between her thighs, an unwanted reflex reaction to the sight of his nearly naked body. She thought about her own hair; would he have liked it? Or would he have wanted her to wax it off, as James had once asked her to? She’d hated that, a landing strip, all itchy and scratchy. Sidney had told her she was perfect as she was, but how could she ever believe a word he said again?</p><p> </p><p>***********************************************</p><p> </p><p>Sidney and the children returned to the changing rooms. Alicia and Jenny went in their own cubicle - they always took ages, mucking around rather than getting ready - while he took care of Henry. As they collected their belongings from the locker, Alicia asked him, "Why didn't Charlotte play with us?"</p><p>He shrugged. "She had to go and swim, that's all. Now hurry up you two, we haven't got all day."</p><p>He took Henry inside the cubicle and got his clothes out of the bag for him. Henry stood there, his teeth chattering, shaking the water off his hair like a wet dog.</p><p>"Don't you love Charlotte any more?" asked Henry sadly. "Like mummy and daddy?"</p><p>"Oh Henry." Sidney put his hands on the little boy's shoulders. "I do love her. But I upset her and she's angry with me."</p><p>Henry frowned. "Then you should make friends."</p><p>"Yes. Yes, you're right. We should be friends. Come on, get yourself dried and get your clothes on."</p><p>"Can we have crisps?" pleaded Henry.</p><p>"Yes, but only if you hurry up."</p><p> </p><p>Tom had unfortunately had a bit of a relapse at New Year – a session in the pub – and had made a lugubrious, drunken call to Mary at the end of it. Now she didn’t want to speak to him again and Sidney was back on weekend dad duty. He loved it, but he was lonely. He imagined how different it would have been if Charlotte had stopped and played with them in the pool; how they would have laughed. He liked to pretend to chase the kids, like a shark, tickling them when he caught them. He could have done that to her too. God, just imagine. That was another thought he’d have to banish from his mind tonight. Although it wasn’t even the thought of touching her body that excited him; it was the thought of her throwing her head back and laughing, squirming under his touch. He would have held her tight in his arms so she couldn’t escape.</p><p>Eventually, everyone was ready and they headed out to the car, stopping for some bags of crisps from the vending machines on the way, as was their routine. Charlotte was nowhere to be seen; perhaps she was still swimming or in the changing rooms, towelling her body, rubbing moisturiser into her breasts... oh god, this wasn’t getting any easier. Not one little bit.</p><p>Mary was right. He’d been a fool. Making the decisions all by himself and not trusting her judgement. He had wanted to protect her, but he was also ashamed of his own behaviour that night. If he told her about the photo now, she'd be angry, and rightly so. He hadn't told anyone about it, not even Brad.</p><p>Every time he'd seen her since Christmas, she’d been so cold and distant with him and today, she clearly hadn’t wanted to see him or talk to him. At school, she brushed him off whenever he tried to talk to her; all he could do was gaze at her from the other side of the staffroom or the other side of the canteen. She was making more friends among the other teachers and seemed quite popular, always laughing and joking with the younger members of staff, probably going to the pub with them too. She even seemed friendly with Frances Price these days, and of course with Leon. But she wouldn't talk to Sidney.</p><p>As for Edward, the two men had kept their distance since the fight in the taxi, circling round each other like boxers, unsure who would throw the first punch, or whether they would cancel each other out. Sidney had more to lose; Edward seemed to have been afforded protection by his relation to his aunt. If only he had some real, concrete proof of Edward's misdemeanours at this school or his previous one, proof that Mrs D wouldn't be able to refute. For now, however, the ball was in Edward's court and he'd just have to keep a close eye on him. Edward often stared at Charlotte too, Sidney had noticed, although he never approached her. The thought of Edward lusting after her, looking at her on that photo, made Sidney feel sick. He didn’t think Edward would use the photo to hurt her, perhaps it was just one of his pervy little games. Perhaps he'd wanted to keep her and Sidney apart. Well, he'd certainly achieved that.</p><p>Sighing, he switched on the radio. The kids were nodding off to sleep in the back; swimming always wore them out. Some cheesy song came on. He vaguely recognised it but he’d never really listened to it properly before.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“Got a picture of you beside me</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Got your lipstick mark still on your coffee cup</em>
</p><p>
  <em>…</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Whatever I said, whatever I did</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I didn’t mean it</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I just want you back for good..”</em>
</p><p> </p><p>He smiled ruefully at the thought of Charlotte leaving lipstick on his coffee cup. She drank tea and she hardly ever wore lipstick. That was why he loved her. He would have to make more of an effort to get back into her good books, regain some of that easy intimacy they'd once shared. Perhaps he could get Brad to come down the pub with him one Friday night.</p><p>After dropping the kids off with Tom, he drove home, went into the living room and switched on his laptop. He waited impatiently for it to fire up, then typed “Guardian Education Jobs” into Google.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>You can't beat a bit of Take That!</p><p>Back for Good – Take That (1995)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0028"><h2>28. The Crown</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>So we're off to the pub, where some new acquaintances will be made - but who will end up with who?</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>In between walking to school and back every day, regular swimming sessions, and the occasional run with Esther – usually regretted – Charlotte was getting pretty fit and feeling much better about herself. Work was going well; Dan Ferrars was very friendly and helpful, although he never once referred to Sidney and why he might have passed her on. Mrs Griffiths was looking a lot brighter and quite often disappeared in Mr Hankins’ car of an evening. Even Clara – yes even Clara – had thawed somewhat towards Charlotte. Not a lot, but they were running the Drama Club together on a Tuesday night now, as they were planning a production of <em>Bugsy Malone</em> for the summer term. Clara was not exactly friendly, but she managed to maintain a veneer of professional cooperation. It probably helped that Sally Fairfax had got involved too, having persuaded her husband to leave work early on Tuesdays to pick up the children. As for Edward, Charlotte kept her distance, although she noticed Clara still frequently climbed into his car of an evening.</p><p>She was making more friends among the teachers now; even Frances Price was moderately friendly now that she’d realised Sidney wasn’t interested in either of them. Rumour had it she’d found herself a boyfriend in Brighton over Christmas anyway. Charlotte was beginning to feel much more like she belonged.</p><p>She frequently saw Sidney around school - even more than before somehow, much to her annoyance - it seemed as if every time she turned a corner, he'd be coming the other way, or whenever she looked up in the canteen, he would swiftly avert his gaze. It was most unnerving the way he was always popping up when least expected. A couple of times he tried to talk to her in a friendly manner, but she usually gave a short, polite reply or simply blanked him. How could she possibly be friends with him, after everything that had happened? The only way forward was to cauterise her heart, put him out of her mind and focus on herself and on her job. She'd wasted far too much time last term thinking about him. But the fact that he kept looking at her and trying to talk to her was completely doing her head in. After seeing him in the swimming pool that day, she'd dreamed about him all night, thinking about his body as she touched herself in bed, and hating herself for doing so. The next time, she forced herself to think of someone else, of something else. It helped a little.</p><p> </p><p>**********************************************</p><p> </p><p>One Friday towards the end of January, the younger teachers were off to the Crown as usual, and she decided to give Esther a call and see if she wanted to join them. Esther was quite shy about hanging out with her fellow students in Brighton, as most of them were younger than her. Charlotte’s teacher friends were more her age.</p><p>Esther entered the pub at about 6pm, feeling slightly nervous, and Charlotte sprang up from her seat to go and join her at the bar. She didn’t know what she would have done without Esther this past month; she’d been more like a mother to her than her own mum. Not only did she frequently cook for her, she listened to her and hugged her when she felt sad. Which was actually more often than an impartial observer might have guessed.</p><p>They were chatting excitedly at the bar and were next in line to order a drink, when the door opened and in walked two men. Brad and Sidney. Charlotte was ready to crouch down and hide under the bar and hope they hadn’t seen her, but Esther turned round and smiled right at them. There was no way they could have avoided her.</p><p>“Esther, let’s go,” whispered Charlotte.</p><p>“Don’t be such a ninny,” replied Esther.</p><p>Grabbing Charlotte’s arm, Esther marched her over towards the two men.</p><p>“Hello,” beamed Esther, “what brings you here?”</p><p>Charlotte was staring at her shoes again, Sidney at the top of her head.</p><p>Bradley took the initiative. “I presume,” he said with a charming smile, “that you are Esther, Charlotte’s flatmate. I’ve met Charlotte before.”</p><p>“Well done,” replied Esther, her mouth twitching. “You <em>are </em>clever. Would your friend like to introduce us, perhaps?” She looked pointedly at Sidney.</p><p>Sidney gathered his thoughts. “Esther, pleased to meet you. This is my friend Bradley.” Esther shook Bradley’s hand, holding it for some considerable time.</p><p>“And you are? I don’t think we’ve actually met.” Her mouth was twitching again.</p><p>Charlotte lifted her head up, embarrassed. “Esther, you know full well this is Sidney.”</p><p>“Ah yes,” replied Esther. “Sidney Parker. I’ve heard a lot about you. Not all of it good.”</p><p>Turning her back on him, she focused her attention on Bradley. “I’m a mature student, Bradley. What do you do?”</p><p>Bradley reddened. “I’m a lawyer. I work in London.”</p><p>“Really? Not a corporate lawyer I hope,” she added, somewhat disdainfully.</p><p>Bradley took a deep breath. Usually this went down like a lead balloon. “No, in fact I work on housing cases. Usually against luxury housing developments. Mostly in the East End.”</p><p>“How fascinating,” she replied, laughing. “You’re probably bringing a case against my father!”</p><p>“And that’s a good thing?” asked Bradley, puzzled.</p><p>“Oh yes,” Esther smiled, “that’s a very good thing. Come over here and tell me all about it.” She took Bradley’s arm.</p><p> </p><p>Charlotte and Sidney were left standing there, gazing at the floor. Anywhere but at each other. Sidney suddenly remembered his manners.</p><p>“Charlotte, would you like a drink? I’ll get a round for everyone.”</p><p>“Yes okay, I’ll have a tonic water please.”</p><p>“A tonic water. You sure?” asked Sidney, surprised.</p><p>“Yes please.” Sidney went to get drinks for the four of them; his own, a pint of bitter. Esther and Bradley were still chatting away.</p><p>“Um... why are you drinking tonic water, Charlotte?” He gave her a nervous glance.</p><p>“I’m trying to lose weight,” she said simply.</p><p>“Charlotte, I told you before, remember, you really don’t need to...” He looked at her face. It was thinner, paler, a little pinched. Her hair didn’t seem quite as lustrous as before and there were dark circles under her eyes.</p><p>“Well maybe,” she said pointedly, looking him right in the eye, “maybe I don’t really believe what you say anymore. And maybe, just maybe I’d like to get fit for myself. Whatever ‘guys’ like.” She formed fake quote marks with her fingers.</p><p>Sidney sighed. She was hurting. He tried again. “So, you had a good Christmas then?”</p><p>“Yes. You asked me that. Three weeks ago.”</p><p>Sigh. “I meant, did you over-indulge or something, is that why you’re on a diet?”</p><p>“Not really,” replied Charlotte. “To be honest, I didn’t have much appetite at Christmas.” Another pointed look.</p><p>“What about New Year? Did you go to London?”</p><p>“Yes, had a great time actually, went out loads. All night clubbing on New Year’s Eve.”</p><p>“Great,” he replied, thinking back to his own miserable New Year.</p><p>“I saw James actually.”</p><p><em>Oh. James.</em> “So… you’re friends again?”</p><p>“Yeah, we had a really good chat.” It wasn’t strictly true. She had bumped into him and Julia, and they’d had a civil conversation. “What about you?”</p><p>“New Year? Well I… went out with Brad and… that’s about it, really. It was my birthday on January 2<sup>nd</sup> but I never do much, everyone’s all partied out by then.”</p><p>“Oh,” she said, looking up, almost with a show of interest, “Well, belated Happy Birthday. How old are you now then?”</p><p>He laughed. “Thirty-six. Positively ancient.”</p><p>“So you’re a Capricorn then. The goat. That figures.”</p><p>“I wouldn’t have any idea about that stuff. What am I supposed to be like?” he asked, smiling curiously.</p><p>“Hmm, let’s see. Workaholic, ambitious, very stubborn and secretive.”</p><p>He laughed. “Sounds pretty accurate. What about you, Charlotte? When’s your birthday?”</p><p>“February 19<sup>th</sup>.” He made a mental note. “I’m Pisces. The fish.”</p><p>“Well, there you go.” He smiled. "So err... what are your characteristics?"</p><p>“Apparently I’m creative, intuitive, emotional and surprising.” Her head to one side.</p><p>“You certainly are. So…” he hesitated, fiddling with his pint glass, “are we supposed to be compatible?”</p><p>A sharp glare. “I doubt it. Obviously, it’s all bollocks anyway.”</p><p>Oh dear. Change the subject.</p><p>“You like the pool then? In Eastbourne?” He gave her what he hoped was a conciliatory smile.</p><p>“Yes.” She paused. “I’m also planning to use the school gym. Leon’s going to give me an induction.” She waved towards a group of teachers on a nearby table. Leon was among them, looking over anxiously at Charlotte and Sidney.</p><p>“Right.”</p><p>“In fact, Sidney,” she continued, “do you mind if I go and join the others? I was with them earlier, but Esther seems perfectly happy talking to your friend for now.”</p><p>“Of course not,” he replied, a little downcast.</p><p>“See you later then. Thanks for the drink.” She began to move away.</p><p>“Wait, wait, Charlotte…” He reached for her arm, but she brushed him off.</p><p>“Listen, I know you’re angry with me but, believe me, it wasn’t something I wanted to do and… and… can’t we at least be friends? Please.”</p><p>He noticed she was starting to tremble and thought she was going to get angry with him again. He braced himself. Instead, she simply looked up at him with those doe eyes; he was sure there were tears forming.</p><p>“I never said we couldn’t be friends Sidney,” she said quietly. “It wasn’t my choice.”</p><p>Turning on her heel, she went to join Leon and the others at their table.</p><p>Sidney stood alone at the bar, staring sadly into his pint.</p><p> </p><p>Meanwhile, Esther and Brad were getting on like a house on fire. She seemed genuinely interested in his work, helping defend council tenants against rich property developers – “Not all posh people are greedy capitalists you know” – she asked about his mum, who was recovering from a hip operation, laughed at his stories of the Three Musketeers, as schoolboys in Sanditon together, and regaled him with amusing anecdotes of when she’d worked in advertising in London. She was less forthcoming about her studies and the reason why she’d moved to Sanditon, and avoided the subject of her own family, but Bradley didn’t like to pry.</p><p>She was utterly charming, he thought, a little guarded, but her eyes and smile were genuine, and she was very beautiful in a willowy, dreamy kind of way. Esther warmed to his diffident, bashful manner, and couldn’t help noticing the cheeky way his mouth twitched when she said something slightly risqué. He wasn’t the fittest man she’d ever met, but he had searching eyes and a strong jaw, dependable hands and quite simply, she felt she could trust him.</p><p> </p><p>She was, however, observing Sidney and Charlotte out of the corner of her eye with some concern.</p><p>“Bradley,” she said, sighing, “What are we going to do about those two?”</p><p>“What?” Bradley had almost completely forgotten that Sidney was in the pub. He glanced over to see his best friend staring forlornly into the bottom of his empty glass.</p><p>“Do you know what really happened Bradley?” Esther asked quietly. “I’ve never seen anyone so upset. Honestly... she cries herself to sleep at night, I can hear her.”</p><p>Bradley was surprised. “He just said they fell out at the Christmas do, he didn’t want to go into details. But you’re right, he’s been a miserable bastard. Look at him. I don’t think he was even that upset when his wife left him.”</p><p>Sidney was gazing over at Charlotte, who was chatting intently to Leon.</p><p>“I don’t understand it,” frowned Esther. “They were getting on so well.”</p><p>“Well,” replied Bradley quietly, “he can be difficult you know. A bit secretive. He’s had some bruising experiences in the past; his ex-wife was a bit of a nightmare. I mean, he doesn’t have any trouble attracting women, obviously…”</p><p>“I’m sure neither of you do.” Esther fluttered her eyelashes flirtatiously.</p><p>Bradley coughed. “Yes, well… he’s well into his thirties now, so I think he’s looking for something more… permanent.” As am I, he thought, admiring her beautiful green eyes.</p><p>“Oh but Charlotte’s a darling,” exclaimed Esther. “And I think she really cares about him. Oh, I don’t know,” she shrugged, "what a tangled mess."</p><p>There was a pause. “Have you been married then Bradley?” she asked, a little nervously.</p><p>“No, no,” he replied quickly. “I’m single.”</p><p>“Good,” she smiled. “So am I.” Their eyes met and both found it hard to suppress a smile.</p><p>“Look, I’d better go and talk to him,” said Bradley, reluctantly.</p><p>“No wait,” said Esther, holding his arm and moving closer. “We need to find out what happened and we need to concoct a plan to get them back together. Don’t you agree?” </p><p>Bradley smiled at her, amazed at this amazing woman. “I certainly do.”</p><p>“Do you like running, Bradley?”</p><p>He was momentarily taken aback. “Um... yes, yes, of course I do.”</p><p>“Well,” she whispered conspiratorially, “why don’t you meet me tomorrow morning on the seafront and we can go for a run together and talk about it. Meet you by the bandstand at 0am. Okay?” She flashed him a dazzling smile.</p><p>“10am? Yes, sure, I’ll see you there Esther.”</p><p>“Good. Don’t be late.”</p><p>Smiling, Esther slipped away to join Charlotte and Bradley walked over to Sidney. Prising his empty pint glass out of his hand, he ordered him another drink.</p><p> </p><p>“Here you are mate,” he grinned, handing him a full pint of beer. “We have something to celebrate – looks like I’ve got a date.”</p><p>“No way,” laughed Sidney, “where are you taking her?”</p><p>“Er... well actually she suggested it. We’re going for a run on the seafront tomorrow morning.”</p><p>Sidney nearly spat out his beer. “And you said yes? Bloody hell Brad, when did you last go running?”</p><p>“Oh I’ll be alright, it’s just... running,” Brad said hopefully.</p><p>“Last time I remember you running was the cross country at school. You came last.”</p><p>“Well who cares, man? A date is a date. Anyway, if it goes well, maybe you and I could be going round to that flat more often...”</p><p>He glanced over at the table where Charlotte and Esther were sitting. Charlotte was laughing heartily at something Leon had said.</p><p>“I don’t think so, “ sighed Sidney, “that ship has sailed I think. Probably for the best.”</p><p>“Don’t give up,” said Bradley. “You told me you were in love with her, remember? I’m sure you can make things work if you give it a try. Esther said she still cares about you.”</p><p>“I doubt it. She won't even give me the time of day. Look at her. She’s much better off with someone like him. Listen, can we make a move after this one, Brad? I’m not really in the mood tonight.”</p><p>Shortly afterwards, the two men left the pub, Bradley wanting to get a good night’s sleep in preparation for his morning exercise; Sidney heading home to sit in front of the TV yet again.</p><p>As Leon went off to the bar to get more drinks, Charlotte looked up, her eyes searching for Sidney. But he was gone.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Oh god, he's so stubborn isn't he? Don't worry, we'll give him a shake soon!</p><p>I don’t really believe in star signs either, but all my children are Capricorns and they’re all bloody stubborn.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0029"><h2>29. Esther takes the reins</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>In which Esther and Brad have a hot, sweaty workout, Charlotte goes shopping and Sidney has strange dreams about Jane Eyre…</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>Saturday: a beautiful late January morning. There was a cold chill in the air and a few clouds, but the wintry sun was beginning to pierce through them, softening the little patches of frost on the ground.</p><p>Bradley, who in a sudden panic in the middle of the night had realised that he didn’t have anything remotely suitable to wear for a run, had already driven over to Sidney’s to find some sports gear to wear. It was a little tight on him and the arms and legs a little too long, but it was better than nothing. Parking along the seafront and hoping that Esther didn’t spot him in his car, he steadily jogged towards the bandstand. The cold air hit his lungs; oh dear, he was feeling breathless already.</p><p>Esther was already there, leaning against the rusty blue colonnade of the old Victorian bandstand, stretching her calf muscles. The bandstand was very rarely used for music any more; the wooden boards were rotting and covered in litter, cigarette butts and even the odd syringe. But it still retained a nostalgic charm for many in the town and in the summer, it was cleaned up and used to host some of the local bands and school groups. Sometimes people even danced around it. In January, however, it was deserted and bleak.</p><p>As Bradley approached, puffing slightly, Esther gave him a dazzling smile.</p><p>“Morning! How was the rest of your night? Get anything out of him?”</p><p>“Good morning Esther. Not really, he wasn’t very talkative I’m afraid. In fact,” Bradley frowned, looking out to sea, “he seems to think she’s moved on to Leon.”</p><p>Esther laughed. “Oh no, he’s got that all wrong. Leon’s a nice kid, but... he’s only 23. Charming, I grant you, and he does have amazing biceps...” she paused, dreamily, causing Bradley to subconsciously flex his own rather less amazing biceps, “but he’s definitely in the friend zone.”</p><p>“Sorry?” asked Bradley. “The friend zone? Do you mean...?”</p><p>“You obviously don’t watch Love Island,” Esther smiled. “You haven’t lived! Charlotte and I watch it all the time. There’s no spark between them, that’s all I’m saying. Whereas with Sidney... there’s more than a spark, there’s a whole bloody fire going on. You know what I mean?” She smiled flirtatiously at him.</p><p>Bradley chuckled. “Yes, I think I know what you mean.”</p><p>“Well then, let’s get running. I usually do about 5k,” – Bradley blanched – “but I’ll go easy today if you’re not used to it.”</p><p>She began jogging slowly along the seafront, Bradley doing his best to keep up with her. As they ran, they chatted about all manner of things, the sea, the sky, London, Sanditon, his family, her studies.</p><p>“What about your family, Esther?” enquired Bradley, “you don’t mention them often...?”</p><p>Esther looked straight ahead, her lips pursed. “That’s because they’re not really worth mentioning.”</p><p>“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to pry.”</p><p>“It’s okay,” she stopped for a moment, holding onto his arm. “Look, my mum died and I don’t talk to my dad any more.”</p><p>“I’m sorry,” said Brad, taking the opportunity to put a hand on top of her hand. “Is he your only family then?”</p><p>“Well no,” she said gazing out to sea, “I have a stepmum and a stepbrother.” She looked back at Brad, her big green eyes staring deep into his hazel ones. “Look, it’s a long story and it’s not pretty. Maybe I’ll tell you some day, but if you don’t like the sound of it, I suggest you start running in the opposite direction now. Fast.”</p><p>“I’m not going anywhere,” said Bradley quietly, still holding her hand.</p><p>Esther’s eyes began to brim with tears. “Good. Come on then, race you back!”</p><p>Laughing and joking, they ran back along the seafront. This time, she didn’t wait for him, her long auburn ponytail flying in the wind. By the time Bradley reached the bandstand, she had already been waiting several minutes and didn’t really look as if she had done any exercise at all. Puffed out and sweating, Bradley leaned forwards, his hands on his knees.</p><p>“Christ, sorry, been a while since I went for a run, to be honest.”</p><p>She giggled. “How many years would you say, Bradley? Five? Ten?”</p><p>“Something like that,” he chuckled.</p><p>“You do like other forms of exercise, I presume?” She archly raised an eyebrow.</p><p>Flustered, Bradley said nothing, his mouth twitching as he looked at her.</p><p>Esther continued, smiling flirtatiously, “You know, you look a little flushed to me. Like you could do with a shower or something. To be honest, I’m quite hot too. Shall we... go back to mine and hose ourselves down, perhaps?”</p><p>Bradley stood up, looking her right in the face. She was grinning, but she looked a little nervous.</p><p>“You mean... have a shower... at your flat?”</p><p>“Yes, that’s exactly what I mean. As luck would have it, Charlotte’s gone clothes shopping this morning and I don’t think she’ll be back before lunchtime.”</p><p>Bradley just stared at the beautiful, bold woman in front of him.</p><p>Esther began to twitch anxiously. “Bradley, would you just say yes or no, please? I’m beginning to lose my nerve.”</p><p>Bradley broke into a grin, holding his arms out wide. “Yes. Of course. Yes!”</p><p>“Great,” she laughed. “Come on, race you to the flat!”</p><p>Oh god, thought Bradley, I’m going to be worn out before I get there.</p><p> </p><p>An hour or so later, Esther lay in Bradley’s arms, listening to his heart beating, her head on his warm chest, covered in a soft down of hair. She gently stroked his not-so-firm pecs, inhaling his manly scent. He buried his nose in her beautiful auburn mane, then put his fingers under her chin and lifted it to look at him. She smiled.</p><p>“Happy, Esther?” His eyes searched hers, hoping for the right answer, hoping he had not been a disappointment. She hadn’t appeared to be disappointed, quite the opposite, but you never could tell.</p><p>Esther smiled dreamily. “Happy? I’m ecstatic.” She laughed and buried her face in his chest again, embarrassed. “You... you’re a very surprising man, Bradley Babington.”</p><p>“I aim to please,” he grinned.</p><p>“Surprisingly... enthusiastic.” She looked up at him again.</p><p>“Well that,” he said tenderly, “is all your fault.”</p><p> </p><p>Charlotte entered the flat noisily, swinging a haul of shopping bags and plonking them down on the kitchen floor. She’d had a successful morning in Brighton; it was great to be able to buy some new clothes that really fitted well, now that she’d lost a bit of weight. She’d even made an impulse buy of a little dark blue, off-the-shoulder dress; not that she had any idea when she’d have a chance to wear it, but it just made her look so trim and well... sexy. Maybe there’d be an opportunity one day. It was lunchtime now and she was starving. She’d been up early – another New Year’s Resolution – as she wanted to spend the afternoon at the swimming pool. Fortunately she hadn’t seen Sidney there since that first time, and she hoped he wouldn’t be there today.</p><p>Where on earth was Esther? Surely she couldn’t still be out running with Bradley, it was after one o’clock. Just then, she heard giggling coming from the bedroom. Esther emerged, wrapped in her pink silken dressing gown, followed by Bradley, who fortunately was fully clothed. Charlotte’s jaw dropped.</p><p>“Hi Charlotte, successful trip was it?” Esther grinned.</p><p>“Er... yes, great. Um.. hi Bradley. Did you enjoy the run?”</p><p>“I certainly did Charlotte, it was most invigorating.” He and Esther both giggled. “Well, I’ve really got to go now I’m afraid, as I promised to take mum out for lunch. Bye Charlotte. Bye Esther.” He kissed Esther on the cheek, whispering “See you tonight.”</p><p>“Bye Bradley. See you later.” Bradley left.</p><p>Esther turned to look at Charlotte. “What?” she said in mock surprise.</p><p>Charlotte smiled warmly at her. “Blimey, you’re a fast worker Esther.”</p><p>“Well, what’s the point in hanging around darling, when you know you’ve found what you want?”</p><p>“You... you got on well then, I take it?” Charlotte giggled.</p><p>“Hmm,” grinned Esther, “his running is absolutely shocking. But he definitely makes up for it in other departments.”</p><p>“I’m happy for you,” said Charlotte, “he seems lovely. So you’re seeing him tonight?”</p><p>“Yes, we’re going out. Gosh Charlotte, are you hungry? I’m absolutely famished. Let’s eat and I’ll tell you all about it.”</p><p> </p><p>Bradley eventually regained his car. Shit, he was running late, he’d have to make some excuse to his mum. First he needed to call Sidney though.</p><p>
  <em>- Hi Sid. You okay?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Yeah, alright. How was your run? </em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Pretty shocking. She’s way fitter than me.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Told you. So you mainly got the back view did you?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Mmmm. Quite a few different views actually. We went back to her flat for a shower afterwards.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- For a shower?!</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Yep. Best shower I’ve had in years. Just leaving now, I’ve got to pick up mum.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- You lucky devil. Happy?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Ecstatic. Listen, she wants to see me tonight. Do you mind... cancelling our Brighton pub crawl?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Of course not. You enjoy yourself! It’s about time. Bloody hell Brad, that’s brilliant.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Thanks mate.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Err... Brad. Was Charlotte there?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- No, she was out clothes shopping. She got back as I was leaving. She was a little surprised.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- I bet she was!  Was she... um... on her own?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Yes Sid. She was on her own. For Christ's sake, when are you two going to patch things up? I don’t like seeing you miserable, you know.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Don’t worry about me, Brad. Maybe I’ll catch up with you tomorrow. Go for a bike ride in the morning? You need to build up your stamina. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>- I can’t tomorrow, sorry Sid. I have to do some jobs for mum then head home, I’ve a lot to prepare for Monday. How about next weekend, say Saturday afternoon?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Planning next weekend already then, are you?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Why not? Fingers crossed.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Okay, I’ll see you then. Have a good time tonight.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Cheers, mate. Bye.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Sidney put the phone down, smiling to himself. At least someone was happy. And Brad definitely deserved it. He wondered what clothes Charlotte had bought. Last night, she looked as if she’d lost about a stone in weight. It did suit her, he admitted it, but her face looked a little drawn. He liked it when she had colour in her cheeks and cute dimples that made him want to pinch them. He liked it when her smile reached her eyes. When he knew that her smile was just for him. Sighing, he turned back to his laptop and carried on working.</p><p> </p><p>Alone in bed that night, he was restless. He'd had a couple of beers with dinner and then watched Match of the Day. It was a North London derby: Arsenal against Spurs and his team had won 3-2. Excellent. But it only made him think of Charlotte. He would have loved to take her to a match; it would have been fun. He was feeling tired, but once he got into bed, he found he couldn't sleep. He kept thinking about her.</p><p>Every time he saw her round school, she studiously ignored him. If he tried to speak to her, she got away as quickly as she could. Last night in the pub, they'd almost struck up their friendly banter again, but then she'd immediately shut it down. Yet he'd seen the hurt in her eyes just before she returned to the others. Leon had been paying her a lot of attention, however, and she seemed to be enjoying it. Was he really going to let her slip away so easily? She'd made it very clear before Christmas how she felt about him and Leon. But perhaps the incident at Christmas had changed her mind; perhaps she now realised she was better off with someone young and uncomplicated.</p><p>Tossing and turning in bed, he switched on the light and looked for a book to read. There were several on his shelves, but he couldn't ignore that copy of Jane Eyre. He was at least two-thirds through it after all, and it was probably way overdue at the library, he might as well finish it. Against his expectations, he became engrossed in the final part of the story ‑ the fire, Bertha flinging herself off the burning building, Rochester's blindness, Jane returning to him, their love and marriage, their children. By the time he finished the book it was nearly 3am.</p><p>He switched off the lamp and lay back on the pillows. The parallels were so obvious, it was laughable. Sweet, innocent, yet highly perceptive Jane, furious with Rochester for keeping the truth from her, yet still loving him, despite all his faults, despite his ugliness, his blindness. Maybe there was hope for Sidney Parker yet. At least he wasn't ugly. Or blind. Although perhaps he had been blind. He knew he had to tell her the truth, even if she hated him for it. At least then she would understand why he'd done it, that he hadn't wanted to hurt her. Even if he had unwittingly pushed her into Leon's arms and lost her forever, at least she wouldn't think so badly of him.</p><p>Eventually, he drifted off to sleep. But his sleep was filled with strange dreams. Dreams of a building engulfed in flames. A little like Thornfield, but not Thornfield, instead somewhere in Sanditon, near the sea. An old building. A woman standing on the roof. A woman with long dark hair, wearing an old-fashioned nightdress, billowing in the wind from the flames. Sidney rushed up the stairs to try and reach her, but the stairs were crumbling under the heat of the flames that lapped around them. Would he get there in time? The stairs collapsed and she lost her footing. He reached out his arms and she tumbled into them. He carried her away, far away from the fire, away from the sea, to a grassy bank where he laid her down gently. As he stroked her hair, she began to awaken. She opened her eyes and smiled at him. It was Charlotte. She wrapped her arms around his neck and he leaned down to kiss her. She kissed him back with passion as he roved his hands over her body through the thin nightdress. Together, they melted into the grass under the night sky, until all went dark.</p><p>When Sidney awoke, he was still immersed in the dream, not really aware of the real world. As he went about his business that morning, his head was filled with thoughts of what he'd read and what he'd dreamed last night. He spent Sunday riding his bike, working and tidying up the house, but he couldn't get the image of Charlotte out of his mind. Charlotte, lying on the grass in a thin nightdress, kissing him passionately. Charlotte, lifting up her nightdress and letting him inside. By 10pm, he was worn out and went to bed, falling asleep almost instantly, still dreaming of Charlotte.</p><p> </p><p>********************************</p><p> </p><p>Brad, meanwhile, had gone back to London shortly after Sunday lunch, as he had a court case coming up that week and needed to prepare for it. After returning to his flat in Stratford, he spent the rest of the day working, in between exchanging fun, saucy messages with Esther. She sent him a couple of photos too; nothing racy, just head shots. She was so beautiful, so funny, and he couldn't believe his luck, although he was too shy to send a photo back. It wasn't until late in the evening that he suddenly thought of Sidney. He'd been so wrapped up in his own elation at meeting Esther and ending his own sex drought, that he'd completely forgotten about his best friend and his heartbreak. It was 10.30, a bit late to call, so he sent him a message.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>- Sid. Esther says Charlotte is *not* into Leon. Apparently she cries herself to sleep at night. Over you. You'd better talk to her mate. Oh, and next weekend, tell me what the hell happened at Christmas. B.</em>
</p><p>There was no reply. Sidney was fast asleep.</p><p> </p><p>The next morning, Sidney awoke early, feeling much better rested. Scanning his phone as he sat down to breakfast, he read the message. A message that made him feel sad and guilty, but which contained a glimmer of hope. He now knew what he had to do.</p><p>
  <em>- Thanks Brad. I will. Wish me luck. Sid.</em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Men, honestly!</p><p>Esther takes the reins, Sanditon soundtrack, Ruth Barrett.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0030"><h2>30. Gaslight</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>In which Sidney impresses Charlotte with his literary analysis, and Clara and Charlotte finally thrash things out...</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>Four weeks of term gone, three more until half term. Charlotte was feeling tired. After a busy Saturday shopping and swimming, she’d settled down with a book in bed, hoping to get an early night as she had a lot of marking and preparation to do the next day. She was just turning the final page of her chapter and dozing off when the front door opened noisily, and muffled giggling could be heard. Esther and Bradley returning from their date. Charlotte switched off the lamp and slid down into bed. They were in the kitchen. More laughter. Silence. Then a big whoop from Esther and the sound of feet running past her bedroom, Bradley making some strange roaring noise. They were evidently a little drunk.</p><p>The noise continued from Esther’s room; talking, laughing. Then it stopped. Then got louder again, but this time it was a different kind of noise. A very enthusiastic kind of noise. Charlotte put her hands over her ears and shut her eyes. As happy as she was for Esther, she really didn’t want to listen to this. Try as she might, she couldn’t completely block it out and it went on for a long time, changing in intensity and rhythm. She turned over and buried her face in the pillow, her eyes wet with tears.</p><p>Early Sunday morning they were at it again. Charlotte decided to go for a walk on the seafront and leave them in peace. It was a grey, cloudy day, matching her mood; the sea was choppy and the seagulls squawking noisily. She walked along the shoreline, as she had that first Saturday when she’d met Sidney and the children on the beach, the first time they’d really talked. She wondered what he was doing now. Perhaps he’d been out the night before too; perhaps he’d met a woman; perhaps he was... Suddenly, she caught a glimpse of a bright blue and white shape flitting past along the promenade. A man on a bike, riding fast. He didn’t stop.</p><p> </p><p>On Monday morning, she wasn’t feeling well rested and she had a busy week ahead. She was also beginning to feel a little crampy, like she was getting her period. It usually took a few days to build up, during which time she often felt irritable, inexplicably angry or wanted to cry for no good reason. It was just one of those things.</p><p>At breaktime, she made her way to the water cooler to get a drink. As she was filling up the plastic cup, who should appear but Sidney. The ubiquitous Mr Parker, yet again.</p><p>“Hi Charlotte,” he smiled. By contrast, he looked positively revivified. He’d even had a shave.</p><p>“Hi.” She tried to smile but it didn’t really work. She stood there awkwardly with her cup of water. When was she going to get over him?</p><p>“Did you have a good weekend? Go out at all?” He was still smiling broadly at her.</p><p>“Not really, no. I just read my book.”</p><p>“Oh, what you are reading now, then? Recommend it?”</p><p>“<em>The Sea, The Sea</em> by Iris Murdoch. I read it at university but I wanted to read it again. It’s about a man who moves to the sea to escape his life in London and commune with nature. But things go badly wrong.” She frowned.</p><p>“Oh,” said Sidney uncertainly, “not so cheerful then. Still, I see Bradley and Esther are getting on very well,” he grinned.</p><p>“Yes, tremendously well,” she replied, rolling her eyes. “Kept me awake half the night in fact.” She yawned. Why was he so bloody cheerful all of a sudden?</p><p>Sidney laughed, gazing at her beautiful eyes. She did look tired. He had a sudden urge to take her in his arms and hold her. But the staffroom was full of teachers.</p><p>“How about you?” Charlotte forced herself to ask. “Did you have a wild weekend?”</p><p>“Er... no. Same as usual. Guess what though, I was reading on Saturday night too. I’ve finally finished Jane Eyre.” He looked very proud of himself.</p><p>She smiled at him tenderly. “Really? What did you think of it then?”</p><p>“Well, I thought that Rivers was a bit of a prig, I’m glad she didn’t go off with him. All a bit far-fetched with the fire and that, but at least they got to have their happily ever after.”</p><p>“Hmm,” said Charlotte, “shame it only happens in novels.”</p><p>He frowned. “I’m sure that’s not true. It gave me strange dreams though, that ending…” He smiled at her mysteriously, but she ignored him.</p><p>“Planning to read anything else?” she asked.</p><p>“Yes, I thought I’d try Lady Chatterley’s Lover, see what all the fuss is about.” Smiling again, a little flirtatiously.</p><p><em>Oh fuck you, stop messing with my head, </em>she thought. Although she might actually have muttered it under her breath. Glaring at him, she threw her cup in the bin angrily and began to turn away, but he grabbed her arm to stop her.</p><p>"Wait, wait, Charlotte please..."</p><p>“What?” she whispered, aware that some of the others were observing them, including Edward, standing in the corner.</p><p>“Charlotte, we need to talk. Really. There are things I need to tell you. We can’t go on like this.” His dark eyes were searching hers.</p><p>Spending every Saturday night alone, reading our books, listening to our best friends shagging each other, he thought sadly. It was ridiculous.</p><p>Charlotte wasn’t sure what to say. She was beginning to feel emotional. “What... I mean, when, where?”</p><p>“Today’s not really good for me, I have two meetings after school. And umm... I’m not in school tomorrow, I have a... Look, I’ll catch you on Wednesday.”</p><p>“So you’re going to make me wait half the week. Whatever it is, can’t you just say it now?” she pleaded, a little irritated. Edward was still watching them intently. Sidney let go of her arm and moved a little closer so he could speak more quietly. The faint scent of his aftershave made her nerve ends tingle.</p><p>“Look, there’s a lot I need to explain about what happened at Christmas. After the club." He looked around. "I mean, maybe you don’t care any more, maybe you’ve moved on, but I feel I owe it to you. I don’t like you to think badly of me. Please, Charlotte.”</p><p>She looked up at him, her bottom lip trembling. His eyes sought hers, beseeching forgiveness. Very quietly, so quietly she could hardly hear him, he whispered, "I miss you." Their fingers briefly touched.</p><p> </p><p>Just at that moment, Dan Ferrars came over, looking for Sidney.</p><p>“Sidney, I need to talk to you about the A-level mocks...” He looked, concerned, from Sidney to Charlotte.</p><p>“Are you well Charlotte? You look a little peaky.”</p><p>“I’m fine thank you, Mr Ferrars. Just a little tired.” Smiling at both men, she moved away to get ready for her next class, leaving Sidney looking forlornly after her.</p><p>
  
</p><p>******************************************</p><p> </p><p>Tuesday was Drama Club night and she, Sally and Clara were making good progress with the production of Bugsy Malone. Clara was playing the music on the piano and she really was fantastic. She’d promised to rope in some of her musician friends to come and play in the band for the show. At the end of the club, Sally had to dash off, and Clara and Charlotte were left to clear up. They were getting on better these days, although there was still a slightly strained atmosphere between them, on Clara’s part at least.</p><p>They walked to the front of the building together. It was blowing a gale and pouring with rain. Clara looked across at Charlotte, a little displeased.</p><p>“Do you want a lift Charlotte? You don’t drive, do you?”</p><p>“Oh, are you sure Clara?” This was a first. “I didn’t know you had a car.”</p><p>“Yes, I got one at Christmas. Decided I needed to be a bit more independent. Come on then.”</p><p>They got in Clara’s red mini together and Clara drove off. She turned on the radio and classical music began to play. Neither woman spoke for a while. Then Charlotte, feeling bold, decided it was time to ask Clara some questions.</p><p>“Clara, can I ask you something?”</p><p>“Hmm. Yes?”</p><p>“Why... look, when we first met, we got on really well. Then for some reason, you seemed to go off me. Almost... really dislike me. I just don’t know what I did wrong?”</p><p>“Ha!” Clara laughed. “How can you possibly say that Charlotte? Acting so innocent!”</p><p>Charlotte turned. “What on earth are you talking about? Is it because Edward paid me some attention? I mean, I know that you and he... are friendly, but I never responded to him. Quite frankly, you’re welcome to him Clara.”</p><p>They were driving along the seafront. Clara suddenly pulled in to one of the parking bays. Slamming the brakes on, she put the lever into Park and turned angrily to face Charlotte.</p><p>“I know what you did, Charlotte Heywood. You can’t deny it. First you began with Edward, then you moved on to Sidney Parker, now you’re starting all over again with Leon. You’re just a little cock tease! At least I give Edward what he wants.”</p><p>Charlotte stared at her, open-mouthed. “Clara, what is it you think I’ve done?”</p><p>“Edward told me,” she replied, her eyes wide. “You came into his classroom one day after school when everyone had gone. You sat on his desk in front of him, opened your legs and you told him you had no knickers on.”</p><p>
  <em>In. His. Dreams.</em>
</p><p>“Clara,” laughed Charlotte in shock, “that is a complete and utter lie.”</p><p>“And,” said Clara, “he told me he saw you with Sidney at the nightclub, shagging him up against a wall with your knickers round your ankles. Then you dumped him the next day and now you’re doing god knows what with Leon.”</p><p>“Clara,” said Charlotte patiently, “Edward’s lying to you. I don’t know why, but he is. It makes me wonder what other stories he tells you. I <em>really</em> couldn’t be less interested in Edward. To be quite honest with you Clara, he makes my skin crawl. Anyway,” she said quietly, “I’m in love with someone else.”</p><p>“In love? With who?” Clara was scornful.</p><p>“Who do you think? Not Leon, and definitely not Edward. But, for the record, I didn’t shag him. We never have. If you don’t believe me, you can go and ask him yourself.”</p><p>“Sidney?” Clara’s jaw dropped. “Really?”</p><p>“Yes. We were meeting and chatting for months, we kissed each other twice that week, we danced together in the club and then suddenly, it all went wrong. Why do you think I’ve been so upset since Christmas? That night, in the taxi, if you and Edward hadn’t turned up... I was going to go home with him.” She was starting to cry. “I have no idea what happened after I got out of the cab, but the next week at school Sidney told me it was over.”</p><p>Clara said nothing. Charlotte wiped her eyes with her hands.</p><p>“And another thing, Clara. I’ve heard you and Edward in the Music cupboard. I’ve seen you going off in his car. We even... saw you, shagging outside the club that night.” She looked up at Clara defiantly. “How do you think his wife feels about that? Don’t you have any self-respect?”</p><p>“He’s going to leave his wife in the summer, he promised...” Clara trailed off.</p><p>“Oh really. How many times has he said that? Why would he give up his comfortable home and his BMW to shack up with you? What sort of hold has he got over you, that you believe everything he says? He sounds like some kind of fantasist if you ask me. I think he’s gaslighting you.”</p><p>“What? Gaslighting? What’s that?”</p><p>“I suggest you Google it when you get home. Psychological manipulation. Comes from an old play about a married couple and gaslights... oh never mind. But don’t you dare tell me I’m a cock tease. Edward’s put those words in your mouth. Leon is just a friend and Sidney... well, he’s much more to me than that. Not something I’d expect you to understand.” She slumped back in her seat and folded her arms.</p><p>“Could you just take me home now please, Clara? I’m tired,” she said quietly, looking out of the window. Out to sea, the wind was whipping up the waves. A nearby lamppost was flickering in the gloom.</p><p>There was silence, apart from the sound of the engine and the radio playing a sad, mournful tune. Clara smiled wistfully. “It’s the Swan. My favourite piece of music. I sometimes play it on the cello when I’m feeling sad.”</p><p>She pushed the handbrake down and put the car into Drive. They drove the rest of the short distance in an uneasy silence.</p><p>As they pulled up outside Charlotte’s flat, Clara turned to her.</p><p>“Charlotte. Charlotte, look at me.”</p><p>Charlotte turned her head warily.</p><p>“I’m... sorry. I’m feeling a bit confused right now. I think I need to go home and think about all of this.”</p><p>“Okay,” said Charlotte. “Look, if you ever want to talk about it... well, you know where I am. Maybe I could even try to help.” She gave her a brief smile.</p><p>“Thank you. And Charlotte – I don’t know what happened with Sidney, but... Oh god, I suppose I blocked it out of my mind, I was too busy listening to what Edward was telling me.”</p><p>“Blocked what out of your mind?”</p><p>“Well, really, anyone could see that night at the club, the way you danced together, the way he looked at you. I felt terribly jealous of you. I’d give anything for a man to look at me like that.” She dabbed her eyes. “Why on earth did he... dump you?”</p><p>Charlotte sighed. “I really don’t know Clara, I just don’t know. Good night.”</p><p>She climbed out of the car and went into her flat, leaving Clara sitting pensively in the twilight.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Gaslight by Patrick Hamilton, 1938, adapted into a film starring Ingrid Bergman in 1944.</p><p>The Swan, Carnival of the Animals, Camille Saint-Saens, 1886</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0031"><h2>31. The rowing lesson</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>In which Charlotte has an unexpectedly intimate rowing lesson...</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>Sidney wasn’t around on Tuesday. Or Wednesday for that matter. On Thursday, Charlotte passed him in the corridor, but he was busy chatting to another teacher and she wasn’t even sure he’d seen her. Her period had arrived that morning and she didn’t feel great. It had been raining all week and she’d got wet on more than one occasion. Unfortunately, there was no direct bus she could catch, so it was quicker to walk. On Tuesday night she’d hardly slept, her head spinning with all the things that Clara had said to her. She was beginning to form an even more unpleasant picture of Edward than she’d ever imagined. He’d clearly been feeding lies about her to Clara, creating some kind of complicated jealous triangle that didn’t really exist, except in his own mind. But he’d said he’d seen her shagging Sidney against a wall. Did that mean he had been watching them on the fire escape?</p><p>By Thursday she was exhausted, but she’d arranged to meet Leon after school so that he could show her how to use the machines in the gym. That should be fun; Leon was always straightforward and friendly with her. It was possible he fancied her a bit, but he seemed like the kind of guy who would probably fancy anyone, and he certainly didn’t seem like he was looking to settle down. He just liked to flirt a little and have a laugh.</p><p>In the toilets, she changed into blue jogging bottoms and a white T-shirt, tied up her hair and put on her trainers, then hurried along to the gym to meet him. The older students were allowed to use the gym after school, but tonight no one else was there. They’d probably wanted to get home before the rain started.</p><p>“Hi Charlotte,” he called, flashing her one of his cheeky grins that showed off his lovely white teeth. “Looks like we’ve got the place to ourselves.”</p><p>He was wearing grey Adidas jogging bottoms and a black T-shirt, stretched tightly across his chest, showing off his six-pack. His biceps bulged from the sleeves of the T-shirt, which fitted snugly on his shoulders.</p><p>“Right, where would you like to start? Let’s show you the weights.”</p><p>They spent the next half hour or so testing out the weights machines, the treadmill and the spin bike. Charlotte wasn’t keen on the weights, but she really enjoyed the spin bike. She hadn’t ridden a real bike in years; maybe it was something she should try, at least it would get her to school quicker in the mornings. She knew one person who could probably advise her what to get. Never mind that now, she sighed.</p><p>“So that’s your lower body sorted,” Leon grinned, flicking back his glossy light brown hair, as his tongue roved over his teeth. “How about your upper body? Want to try the rowing machine?”</p><p>“Oh god, that sounds like hard work,” laughed Charlotte.</p><p>“Nah, it’s easy, come on, I’ll show you.”</p><p>He sat down on one of the rowing machines, stretching out his long legs and pulling on the handles. Slowly at first, then faster and faster, puffing out his cheeks as he rowed, his arm muscles flexing and his legs pumping back and forth.</p><p>“See, it’s easy. Your turn!” He jumped up, grinning.</p><p>Charlotte sat down gingerly and started to work the machine.</p><p>“No, not like that,” he said, “look, keep your arms straight, that’s it, make sure your shoulders are level, keep them up, yeah. Yeah, that’s right. No, look Charlotte, your hips have got to be in line with your shoulders.”</p><p>He crouched down behind her and put his hands on her hips, lining them up. She kept going, and he kept his hands on her hips for quite some time, then moved them onto her shoulders.</p><p>“That’s it, you’re doing really well. You should be able to feel it, right here.” He briefly touched her stomach. Turning his head to smile at her, he then put his hands on top of hers, grasping the handles. “Come on, go a little faster,” he grinned.</p><p>After a few minutes, she was exhausted and stopped. Also a little embarrassed; she hadn’t expected him to be quite so touchy-feely. He really was kneeling very close to her, and when she stopped, he didn't move his hands. There was a slight pause.</p><p>“Charlotte, can I ask you something?” he said quietly.</p><p>“Um... yeah?” she said, a little anxious.</p><p>“Will you go out with me? Like, on a date?”</p><p>Well, at least he was direct. Sidney had never asked her on a date. He’d never even asked for her phone number.</p><p>She looked at him shyly, removing her hands from the handles. He let his own hands go free.</p><p>“I... I’m very flattered Leon, but um... I don’t think so. Sorry.”</p><p>“Oh come on,” he said, “it might be fun. Just a date?”</p><p>She blushed. “Tell you what, Charlotte,” he grinned cheekily. “How about I kiss you? See if you like it, then you can say if you want a date or not. If you don’t, no hard feelings, I’ll back off.”</p><p>Charlotte was a little stunned. She laughed. “What, right now?”</p><p>“Yeah, just a kiss, that’s all. Honest, I’m not some kind of perv. I just think you’re really... pretty.”</p><p>Oh bloody hell why not, she thought. Not going to get much else at the moment.</p><p>“Go on then. Just a kiss, mind. And no tongues,” she laughed.</p><p>He leaned forward, gently brushing her lips, then began to kiss her. It didn’t last long and she didn’t really kiss him back.</p><p>He drew back. “Well?”</p><p>She smiled. “It was nice.”</p><p>“Right. Nice. Just nice?”</p><p>“Um... yeah.”</p><p>Leon sighed. “It’s him, isn’t it?”</p><p>“Who?” Charlotte blushed and looked down.</p><p>“Come on. Sidney Parker. You’re still in love with him, aren’t you?”</p><p>She nodded. “Sorry. I can’t help it. You’re a lovely guy, Leon, but...”</p><p>“But I’m not him. Jesus, Charlotte, what did he do to you? Why the hell did he dump you?”</p><p>She looked up. “You know, I’m not really sure any more. One day he wanted me and suddenly the next day he didn’t. And now...”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“He said he wanted to talk to me on Monday, but I haven’t seen him since. It’s like he’s playing games with me or something.” She wiped a tear from her eye.</p><p>“Oh Charlotte.” He put his hand on her shoulder. “We all saw you dancing at the club together, you know. Honestly, I’ve never seen a guy look so smitten. Especially him, he’s such a secretive type. I don’t get it, I really don’t. But the man’s a bloody fool. If I had a chance with a woman like you, I wouldn’t play games. If he can’t see what you’re worth, then he doesn’t deserve you.”</p><p>“Thank you, Leon,” she said quietly. “You’re a good friend.”</p><p>Leon smiled. Friend. Oh well, it had been worth a try.</p><p>“Come on, let’s pack up, I’ve got to get home.”</p><p>“Okay.”</p><p> </p><p>*********************************************************</p><p> </p><p>4pm. Damn, thought Sidney. What a hell of a day. What a hell of a week. He’d just got out of a meeting with Mrs Denham, who’d been droning on about the school finances again. Today had been like playing catch up, as he hadn’t been in school for two days straight. In fact, he’d been at an interview at a school in Lewes, 20 miles away. Having impressed them on Tuesday, they’d asked him to come back again on Wednesday. Now there would be a final interview in a couple of weeks' time, when he’d get to meet all the staff and present an assembly to the whole school. There were other candidates in the running of course, but he was quietly hopeful. It had been a little tricky explaining it to Mrs D, but as he’d told her, he’d been at Sanditon Head for over four years and he just wanted to keep his hand in, give it a try.</p><p>Now he really wanted to tell Charlotte about it. Or would it be better to wait until he definitely knew he had the job? Would she be surprised? Would she understand why he’d done it? Perhaps he should explain about the incident at Christmas first. But how? Where should he start? Should he tell her about the photo? He still hadn’t told anyone, not even Brad. Oh god. He just needed to find Charlotte right now and tell her he’d got it all wrong, he was sorry, he should never have pushed her away, he regretted it every day, he missed her badly and he wanted them to be together. More than anything in the world. Hopefully she still felt the same. Hopefully she hadn’t cauterised her heart to him. She was often curt and sarcastic to him these days, but he hoped that was just her way of putting on a front.</p><p>He rushed along to the staffroom. She would probably still be there. But she wasn’t. Only a few teachers were milling around, one of them Clara, the music teacher. She might know.</p><p>“Hi, Clara,” he asked, a little shyly, “um... you don’t happen to know where Charlotte is, do you? I was supposed to be meeting her.”</p><p>Clara looked surprised. “Oh, she went to the gym I think. Yes, she said she was having an induction with Leon.”</p><p>“Right, thanks Clara.” Sidney bowed his head and walked away. The gym. Leon. Well, it was worth going along, wasn’t it? Maybe she was nearly finished.</p><p>As he walked down the corridor towards the gym, he could hear talking and laughter. Recognisably, Leon’s twangy estuary accent and slightly deep voice. Also Charlotte’s soft tones. She was giggling. He approached the door very quietly and looked round. Charlotte was on the rowing machine, pulling on the handles as she moved back and forth. Leon was crouched down next to her, really rather close, his hands resting firmly on both her hips. He was looking at her, smiling and joking.</p><p>Sidney moved back into the corridor, his palms sweaty and his jaw tensing. That was that then. He was too late. On Monday, she'd wanted to listen to him, wanted to know what he had to say. She must have changed her mind. All these bloody interviews for nothing. Although, at least if he got the job in Lewes, he wouldn’t see her every day, a constant reminder of what he’d lost, of what a fool he’d been.</p><p>Defeated, he turned around and walked back to his office. Once there, he tried to do some work, but he couldn’t concentrate. He sighed. Best go get a coffee from the staffroom.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I have only been on a rowing machine once in my life, so it might not be an accurate description... I did do some research into Leo Suter's rowing technique however, which was most enjoyable. I wasn't going to bother with Stringer in this fic as he doesn't really inspire me, but Leo on the other hand...</p><p>Back and forth – Aaliyah (1994)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0032"><h2>32. Drawing blood</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Weeks of frustration come to a head at the kitchen sink...</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>Charlotte said goodbye to Leon and went to the toilets to change back into her work clothes, although halfway through doing so, she wondered why she hadn’t just kept her jogging bottoms on to walk home in the rain. Never mind, she was nearly done now. Doing up the buttons of her blouse, she stopped to think. How confusing it all was. First, Leon had asked her out, then he’d kissed her – why had she agreed? – oh well, it was harmless. It wasn’t really much of a kiss. Certainly nothing like the kisses she’d shared with Sidney. In fact absolutely nothing like them. He’d tasted a bit like milk, sweet and bland, whereas Sidney tasted like dark, nutty spices, the kind of taste that made you ache for more. Kissing Leon had been like kissing a brother. Poor Leon. But he’d be fine, he didn’t have any problem attracting women.</p><p>And Sidney. That was two people this week – Clara and Leon – who’d commented on her dancing with Sidney at the nightclub, how he’d gazed at her so adoringly. Like a man in love. She knew without a shadow of a doubt that she was still in love with him, but she so wished she wasn’t. He’d kept her hanging on all week and now she was feeling tired and crampy again, and she had to walk home in the rain. It was all too much. Damn, she was thirsty after all that working out. She decided to go to the staffroom to get some water.</p><p>The staffroom was deserted; everyone had gone home. Dumping her bags and coat, she went to the water cooler but it was empty; somebody had forgotten to fill it up. So she walked over to the kitchen area, which was in an alcove, slightly hidden. She entered and nearly fainted on the spot. There he was, stirring his coffee. Sidney.</p><p>He looked up. But he didn’t smile. “Charlotte,” was all he said. Odd. He seemed cross somehow. Nervously she moved towards the sink, looking for a glass. “Um... excuse me,” she said. He was standing in the way.</p><p>He moved aside, still saying nothing, as she filled up a glass from the tap and glugged it all down in one, standing at the sink. Her head was thrown back and he could see the liquid travelling down her neck as she swallowed thirstily. Putting the glass down on the counter, she smiled at him shyly.</p><p>“Thirsty work, rowing, is it?” He almost instantly regretted saying it.</p><p>She blushed furiously. “What do you mean?” she stammered.</p><p>He shrugged his shoulders. “I was looking for you. Clara said you’d gone to the gym. Looked like you were really getting into it.”</p><p>“Sidney...” She didn’t know what to say. She was sad, angry and embarrassed all at once.</p><p>He didn’t say anything else. He was too busy staring at her chest. She was wearing that blue silk blouse she’d worn the other time at the kitchen sink, the only time he’d briefly touched her breasts, but this time the blouse was gaping open. She’d clearly done the buttons up wrong and her lacy white bra and the generous curve of her bosom were on full display. He swallowed.</p><p>Charlotte looked down at her blouse and realised what he was staring at. Then, quite simply, she lost it.</p><p>“For fuck’s sake, Sidney! Stop staring at my tits!"</p><p>Pushing him backwards towards the sink, she began to pummel her fists against his chest.</p><p>"Stop tormenting me! I never know where I am with you, just stop playing bloody games with me, will you? I can't take it anymore. What the hell do you want from me?!” She was sobbing furiously.</p><p>Shocked, he grabbed her wrists tightly in a bid to stop her. “Charlotte...”</p><p>“Get off! Stop it! You’re hurting me!” She was still shouting and crying.</p><p>He let go instantly. He could only think of one way to calm her down and it was the only thing he wanted to do at that moment. He swooped down and kissed her, wrapping his arms around her back, enfolding her to him with all his strength. At first she struggled, her hands grasping his shirt and pulling at it hysterically, but he didn’t let go. He carried on kissing and kissing her. It was impossible to stop.  She tasted so wonderful and he had missed her so much. Moving one hand to the back of her hair, he grasped her head, his other arm coiled tightly around her. Eventually, she stopped struggling and kissed him back. She kissed him with furious passion, sucking at his lips and jabbing inside his mouth with her tongue, as if she wanted to consume him. As he kissed her, she gnawed at his lip with her teeth. She bit so hard she drew blood, but he didn’t care. He wanted to kiss for ever and ever and he was never going to let her go. Suddenly she pushed her breasts right up against his chest, wrapped both her legs around his thigh and started to rub herself on him. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she dragged her hands through the back of his hair, pulling it hard until it hurt. Then, in a frenzy, she moved her hands down to the bottom of his shirt and tugged it urgently out of his trousers. She began to pull at the buttons, trying to rip them off. In frustration, she plunged her hands around his bare torso, scrabbling at his skin and reaching up towards his armpits, still rubbing herself somewhat frantically on his thigh. Sidney, pinned against the sink, was rather taken aback but there was no way he was going to let her go.</p><p>Suddenly, she sprang back from him and he released his grip. They stood there, inches apart, staring at each other, breathing heavily, not saying a word. She raised her fists in the air, letting out an indeterminate, angry sound and stamped her foot on the floor in anger. Then she turned and ran out of the staffroom, without even picking up her coat or bags, out into the corridor, out the front door of the school and out of the gates, into the pouring rain.</p><p>Stunned, Sidney watched her go, immobilised. Then he shook himself and ran after her.</p><p>“Charlotte!” he shouted. He looked down the corridor; he could see her disappearing round the corner. He began to run again, then abruptly bumped into someone. A short, squat woman with grey hair, who was squinting at him in the dark.</p><p>“Mr Parker, what are you doing?” It was Mrs Denham. “Actually, I’m glad I’ve caught you. There was something else I needed to discuss...”</p><p>Sidney sighed, quickly tucking his shirt back into his trousers. “Look, I’m sorry, I can’t talk now, I really have to go.”</p><p>“Oh,” she said, looking displeased. “I suppose it's like this now then, now you’re looking elsewhere. Not good enough for Sanditon anymore.” She sniffed.</p><p>“That’s not true, Mrs Denham, you know that. It’s just it’s late, everyone’s gone home already and I’m tired. Can’t it wait until tomorrow?” Damn, his lip was bleeding too; he patted it with his fingers.</p><p>Mrs Denham huffed. “Very well. By the way, who was that young woman running along the corridor? Does she work here or something?”</p><p>“I don’t know who you mean, I’m afraid,” replied Sidney. “Perhaps it was a ghost.”</p><p>“Oh, stop teasing me, Sidney,” she said, wagging her finger. “Good night then.”</p><p>“Good night.”</p><p> </p><p>Sidney went back to his office, quickly switched off his computer and grabbed his coat and keys. Where the hell had she gone? She didn’t even have her coat and her blouse was half undone. She was like some crazy animal, hurt and wounded. Yet full of pent-up desire.</p><p>He jumped in his car and drove slowly through the streets, looking for her on every corner. Nothing. He turned towards the seafront. It was dark and raining and hard to see anything in the gloom. A few of the street lights on the esplanade were flickering dimly. Suddenly, about halfway along, he saw a woman standing, her back to him, gripping on to the rusty railings and facing out to sea. Her hair was blowing in the wind and she was soaking wet. It was Charlotte. He slammed the brakes on, switched off the engine and leaped out of the car.</p><p>He was going to shout, but then thought better of it. She was clearly overwrought and he didn’t want to scare her. He simply came up behind her and said her name. “Charlotte.”</p><p>She turned round. She was totally soaked; her face dripping with tears and rain, her hair clinging to her scalp. Her blouse wet through. He simply took her in his arms and held her while she wept.</p><p>“Come on,” he said, “you’re drenched, you’ll catch your death.” He led her gently over to the car and helped her inside. She slumped in the seat, shivering. Walking round to the driver’s side, he climbed in and shut the door. He was drenched too; his shirt was soaked from holding her, his hair was wet and there were droplets of rain all over his face. He took off his long, black coat and draped it over her shoulders, pulling it around her.</p><p>“Come here.” He enfolded her in his arms once again and she laid her head on his chest. She had stopped sobbing now, but was still shivering. He stroked her hair and kissed her forehead.</p><p>“Charlotte, look at me.” She looked up, her large, luminous eyes searching his own.</p><p>“Charlotte, there’s a lot we need to talk about, a hell of a lot, but I want to say one thing.”</p><p>“What?” she said, almost whispering, her voice hoarse.</p><p>“I’m sorry, I love you and I never want to be without you again.” He looked deep into her eyes.</p><p>She smiled. “That’s three things.” He laughed and kissed her nose.</p><p>“Forgive me, please.”</p><p>She looked up at him, frowning. “Your lip’s bleeding.”</p><p>“Yes,” he smiled, “thanks for that. Have to say I enjoyed it though.”</p><p>“I’m sorry,” she said, shaking herself, “I don’t really know what came over me.”</p><p>“Don’t worry, Charlotte, it’s all right now, I’m here.” He held her close once again.</p><p>She wrapped her arms around his waist and whispered in his ear.</p><p>“Promise?”</p><p>“Promise what?”</p><p>“That you won’t change your mind this time.”</p><p>Cupping her face in his hands, he looked deep into her eyes.</p><p>“I promise. Never again.” Then he kissed her lips, very gently.</p><p>“Come on, let’s get you home and out of those wet clothes.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I can’t stand the rain – Ann Peebles (1973)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0033"><h2>33. All sense lost</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Indulge me - it is supposed to be Austen, after all!</p><p>Thanks for all your lovely comments on the last chapter - just a short chapter today as Sidney and I need to have a bit more of a think about how he's going to explain himself to her! :)</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>As the car drew up at the flat, Sidney could see Esther standing at the window. Helping Charlotte out of the car, he wrapped his arm around her and walked her up to the front door.</p><p>“Where’s your keys?”</p><p>“Oh god, I left everything at school,” she laughed. “I really am a crazy woman, aren’t I?”</p><p>He kissed her cheek. “Don’t worry, we can get your stuff tomorrow.”</p><p>“But there’s my phone and all my books and...”</p><p>“Don’t worry.” He rang the buzzer and Esther answered.</p><p>“Esther, Charlotte forgot her keys, can you let us in?”</p><p>Esther was surprised to hear Sidney’s deep tones coming down the intercom. She met them on the stairs.</p><p>“Oh my god, Charlotte, what happened? Are you okay? You’re soaked! Sidney?” She stared at him, surprised and anxious.</p><p>“It’s a long story,” said Sidney, “let’s just get her inside, she’s shivering.”</p><p>They took Charlotte through to the living room and Esther put a blanket round her as she sat on the sofa. Sidney was standing up, hands in pockets.</p><p>“Are you okay, Sidney?” asked Esther. “Your lip’s bleeding.”</p><p>“Oh, that’s nothing,” he laughed, dabbing at his lip again. “Look, I think maybe it’s best if I go. Charlotte’s had a bit of a... shock – it’s okay Esther, nothing bad happened – and well, she really needs to get out of those wet clothes and into a hot bath. And have something to eat. Can you deal with it?”</p><p>“Yes of course,” replied Esther, concerned.</p><p>Sidney knelt down towards Charlotte and stroked her cheek. “Look, I’ll come over tomorrow lunchtime, bring you your stuff. Perhaps you should take the day off work. What do you think?”</p><p>She nodded. “Don’t go, Sidney,” she whispered, grasping his hand, still shivering.</p><p>“Come on, you need to rest. I’ll be back before you know it.” He gave her a lingering kiss on the cheek, then whispered in her ear, “Sleep well, beautiful.”</p><p>He stood up to go. Esther was still staring, stunned. “I see you made up then. All seems a bit dramatic.”</p><p>“That’s one way of putting it,” said Sidney. “I’ll see you both tomorrow.”</p><p>He turned and left.</p><p> </p><p>Charlotte was trembling with cold, her eyes closing. “Come on, Charlotte,” said Esther, trying to pull her up, but she was slumped and too heavy to lift. Esther quickly ran to the window, opened it and shouted at Sidney, who was just getting into his car.</p><p>“Sidney, come back! She’s fallen asleep and I can’t move her. Please, hurry!”</p><p>She buzzed him in and Sidney ran up the stairs, two at a time. Charlotte was lying immobile on the sofa. “Do you think we should get a doctor?” he asked, panicked.</p><p>“Let’s just get her into the bedroom and get her clothes off. Come on.”</p><p>Reaching down, Sidney swooped Charlotte up in his arms and carried her through to the bedroom. She stirred slightly. He laid her down carefully on the bed, then hesitated.</p><p>“Look, I shouldn’t really...” he stammered.</p><p>“For god’s sake, Sidney, this is no time to be chivalrous,” scolded Esther. “Come and help me.”</p><p>Esther began undoing the buttons of Charlotte’s blouse, peeling it away from her skin. Sidney stood there staring, unsure what to do.</p><p>“Oh, go and get some warm towels from the bathroom. Go on.”</p><p>Relieved, he went to search for towels. When he returned, Charlotte was lying on the bed, completely naked. He paused for a split second to take in the sight, but this was not the time to be admiring her. The two of them laid the towels over Charlotte’s body, Esther gently rubbing her as she did so.</p><p>“Oh, you rub her hair then,” Esther smiled. Taking one towel, he gently rubbed her head, wrapping it around her hair. She stirred again and moaned. He leaned forward and gently kissed her forehead.</p><p>“Esther,” he whispered, “you won’t tell her that I saw her, will you?”</p><p>“No. Now listen, um... I need to get something from the bathroom. Just stay there a minute.”</p><p>He knelt by the bed, gently stroking Charlotte’s face.</p><p>Esther came back, holding something in her hand. “Sidney, can you just turn away a moment? I mean, I know she’s your future wife and everything, but this is a bit indelicate.”</p><p><em>Future wife.</em> That sounded good. What was Esther talking about though? Oh right, he realised, as he saw the pad in her hand. A few minutes later, Charlotte was dressed in pyjamas and snuggled under the duvet.</p><p>“I’m going to make her some hot milk and find some biscuits. Hopefully she’ll wake up in a minute. Her pulse seems fine and she’s breathing okay. I think she just had a shock from the cold. Why don't you...um... warm her up a bit?" Esther gestured to the bed.</p><p> </p><p>Sidney nodded. Gently, he laid down on the bed next to Charlotte, wrapping one arm across her chest and holding onto her hand with his other hand. Shifting his body as close to hers as he could, he nuzzled his nose against her damp hair, breathing hotly onto her neck. </p><p>She was so beautiful, peacefully sleeping. How could he ever have been such a fool? He still didn’t understand what he’d seen with Leon in the gym, but clearly it didn’t matter. She certainly hadn’t been kissing Leon the way she’d kissed him. Did Mrs Denham suspect something? Who cared? She was as blind as a bat anyway, and with any luck he’d soon be at another school and no one could gossip about them ever again. Okay, there was still the matter of Edward and the photo, but that could wait. For now, all he wanted to do was stay and watch Charlotte. All night, if he had to.</p><p>A few blissful minutes went by. Suddenly, she stirred and opened her eyes. She looked up at him, eyes wide.</p><p>“Sidney?”</p><p>“Yes, my love?”</p><p>“I dreamed I was drowning. In the sea. You picked me up and rescued me and took me to shore. Am I dreaming?”</p><p>He smiled, shaking his head. “No, you’re not dreaming. I’m here. But Esther helped rescue you too.” He bent down and kissed her on the mouth.</p><p>“Now I really am dreaming,” she murmured, and closed her eyes again.</p><p>Esther came back into the bedroom with a mug of hot milk and some biscuits.</p><p>“Did she wake? Let’s sit her up. She needs something inside her.”</p><p>They lifted Charlotte up to a sitting position, pillows behind her. She gratefully sipped on the drink and nibbled a few biscuits. Esther retreated to the kitchen to heat up some soup.</p><p>“You’re definitely having tomorrow off work,” smiled Sidney, sitting on the bed beside her and gently stroking her hand.</p><p>“Oh,” she looked worried, “but I have my Year 10 class, and Year 8 are doing a timed assessment, and...”</p><p>“Don’t worry,” said Sidney, “we can cope. You need to get your strength back.”</p><p>She looked at him, puzzled. “Your lip’s bleeding, Sidney. What happened?”</p><p>He laughed. “You don’t remember?”</p><p>She paused, thinking hard. “Oh god, it was me wasn’t it? It’s coming back to me now. I think I went a little... wild.” She blushed, remembering how she’d rubbed herself on his leg like a bitch on heat.</p><p>He stroked her hair, chuckling. “Don’t worry, Charlotte, I really rather liked it. Though perhaps next time, you could stay with me rather than running off in the rain like some madwoman.”</p><p>“Wow,” she said, resting her head against the pillow and looking up at the ceiling, “I feel like Jane Bennet. No, not her. Marianne Dashwood, that’s the sort of thing she would have done, bite some guy’s lip and then run off in the rain and nearly die from a fever.”</p><p>“Charlotte, are you delirious?”</p><p>“Clearly.” She leaned forward and kissed his lip gently on the spot where a scar was forming. “Sorry, Sidney. I won’t do it again.”</p><p>“Kinda hoped you would actually.” He kissed her back, longingly.</p><p>“Oi!” said Esther, appearing in the doorway. “No tiring the patient please. Perhaps it’s time your knight in shining armour went home, Charlotte.” She was bearing a bowl of soup and a slice of bread on a tray, along with a large glass of water.</p><p>“Whatever you say,” said Sidney, grinning. He ruffled Charlotte’s hair. “I’ll see you tomorrow, nutter.”</p><p>She stuck out her tongue. “Don’t forget to come back tomorrow, Sidney. I need my phone.”</p><p>“Oh right, that’s all you care about.” He smiled, then paused in the doorway. “Do you think you’ll ever give me your phone number, Miss Heywood?”</p><p>“I might,” she replied, smiling back. “If you ask me out.”</p><p>Grinning, he took his leave.</p><p> </p><p>“Well, Charlotte Heywood,” said Esther, one eyebrow raised, “what was all that about?”</p><p>“Oh nothing,” replied Charlotte sleepily. “I’m just writing myself into a Jane Austen novel, that’s all. Though I’m sure I shall make a full recovery and marry the dashing hero.” She yawned. “Can I go back to sleep now?”</p><p> </p><p>*************************</p><p> </p><p>Charlotte slept like a log. At 8.30, she awoke to see Esther sitting on her bed, gently stroking her hair.</p><p>“Oh god, am I late for school? I thought you were my mum for a moment.”</p><p>“You’re not going to school, Charlotte,” Esther laughed.</p><p>“But I have to...” She raised herself up on her elbows.</p><p>“It’s too late now. Don’t worry, Sidney’s sorted it all out. He’s given me his phone number and he’s coming round at lunchtime with your stuff. Okay?”</p><p>“He gave you his phone number? Bloody hell, I’ve been waiting five months for him to give me his phone number.” Charlotte folded her arms, pretending to look peeved.</p><p>“I think he’d like to give you a lot more than his phone number, Charlotte,” Esther smiled archly. "Look, I have to go but I’ve brought you a cup of tea and some toast, and here,” she handed Charlotte a piece of paper, “there’s his number. Any problems, you ring him. Or you ring me. I’ll be home later this afternoon.”</p><p>Charlotte took the slip of paper. She could tell it was written in his own hand. She brought it to her lips and kissed it, then sank back against the pillows.</p><p>“Thanks Esther. Thanks for everything.”</p><p>Esther smiled. “You know, it's funny. Brad and I have been plotting all week about how to get you two down the pub tonight and force you to talk to each other, but you seem to have pre-empted us. Look, I’ve got to dash, we'll talk later. You just rest. Bye.” She gave her a kiss on the cheek and left.</p><p> </p><p>Charlotte leaned back against the pillows, sipping her tea and nibbling on the toast. It was hard to take it in, all the events of that fateful Thursday. Leon, the rowing machine, their kiss, then bumping into Sidney. How she’d gone wild at him, in more ways than one. Then running out in the rain like some tragic demented heroine, nearly catching her death of cold. How he’d suddenly appeared beside her on the seafront and she knew where she needed to be. In his arms. And he’d told her he loved her. <em>He loved her.</em> So why the hell had he dumped her and left her heartbroken for six weeks? She frowned.</p><p>She remembered coming in the flat, but she wasn’t sure how she’d got out of her wet clothes and into bed. Oh god. He must have been there, helping Esther take her clothes off. He must have seen her naked. She felt something uncomfortable between her legs. She needed to go to the loo. Of course, she was bleeding. Had he seen that too? Who cares, she thought, if he wants me, he’s got to take the rough with the smooth. She remembered the scar on his lip and giggled. She really had felt like devouring him, like a wild animal. He tasted way too good.</p><p>Sighing, she hauled herself out of bed to use the bathroom. Looking out of the window, she could see it was another grey day. Yawning, she went back to bed and dozed off again.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Sense and Sensibility, Jane Austen, 1811.<br/>I always felt rather sorry for Marianne, nice as Colonel Brandon was. Somehow I don’t think Sidney wears flannel waistcoats!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0034"><h2>34. On the sofa</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>In which Charlotte and Sidney have an intimate chat on the sofa...</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  
</p><p>
  <span class="u">Part 4 – Reconciliation</span>
</p><p>
  <span class="u">February 2020</span>
</p><p> </p><p>Ring! It was the doorbell. Charlotte sat up in bed. <em>Shit! What time was it?</em> 12.30! He was here and she wasn’t even dressed. She’d been dreaming again, about a dark-haired merman, pulling her out of the sea, laying her down on a soft bed of grass and wrapping his strong arms tightly around her.</p><p>She clambered out of bed and stumbled towards the intercom.</p><p>“Yes?” she said hoarsely.</p><p>“Charlotte, it’s me, I rang three times, are you okay?” Sidney’s voice was urgent with concern.</p><p>“Yes, I’m fine, I was asleep, sorry.” She buzzed him in.</p><p>Opening the door, she stood there in her pyjamas, running her hands through her hair, trying to give it some semblance of order. She suddenly felt really shy. It was the first time they’d been in her flat together, alone. She looked up at him. He was unshaven and looked a little tired, but he was smartly dressed as usual and well, simply gorgeous.</p><p>“Charlotte, are you going to let me in?” he chuckled. “I’ve got all your bags and your coat here.”</p><p>“Of course, sorry.” She stood back. “Come through to the living room.”</p><p>He put her bags and coat down on the floor and they stood there, staring at each other, not sure what to say.</p><p>“I um... god, I fell asleep again and I had no idea of the time. I’m not even dressed, sorry.”</p><p>“Charlotte, I don’t care about that. Come here.” He opened his arms and she moved slowly towards him.</p><p>“You haven’t changed your mind then?” she asked, smiling.</p><p>Without replying, he enfolded her in his arms and she sank against his chest, wrapping her arms around his waist. He kissed her forehead, slowly at first, then more urgently. Looking up, she brought her mouth close to his. They kissed, gently, for a long time.</p><p>Sighing, she laid her head on his chest again. She could stay like this all day. He lifted her chin.</p><p>“Come on, sit down. You’re tired. Don’t you want to check your phone? It’s in the bag.”</p><p>They sat down on the sofa, side by side.</p><p>“I’ll look at my phone later. How are my classes? Thanks for arranging that.”</p><p>“They’re fine. Mrs Griffiths is covering a couple and Mr Howard’s got your Year 10 class.”</p><p>“Oh, they’ll love that,” she laughed. Mr Howard was a very large, very stern teacher who didn’t take any prisoners.</p><p>“So, you feeling better?” He looked at her tenderly, his head tilted to one side. “I was worried about you, you know. I gave Esther my number but she didn’t call in the night, so I reckoned you were okay. She sent me a text this morning to say she’d given you breakfast and she was off to uni.”</p><p>“I was fine. I slept like a log. Then I ate the breakfast and went straight back to sleep.” She laughed. “Christ, it’s been one hell of a week.”</p><p>All that stuff with Clara too. She’d have to tell him about that.</p><p>“Um... Charlotte, I wanted to say. I wasn’t spying on you with Leon, you know. I came along to find you and... you were on the rowing machine together. I didn’t want to interrupt, you looked kind of... intimate.” He blushed. “I mean, it doesn’t matter, it’s none of my business, but I guess I... was jealous.”</p><p>Charlotte was reddening too. “Please Sidney, that was nothing. He was just showing me how to use the machine and um... yeah, he did get a bit close. Actually,” she flashed him a look, “he asked me out.”</p><p>“He asked you out?” Sidney was stunned. “Cheeky sod!”</p><p>“Well, why shouldn’t he? It’s a free country, isn’t it? As far as he knew, I was most definitely single.” She looked at him a little defiantly, but she decided not to tell him about the kiss.</p><p>“So what did you say?” asked Sidney quietly, looking a little hurt.</p><p>“I said no, of course, you idiot.” She smiled at him and he grinned back.</p><p>“Really?”</p><p>“Yes, really."</p><p>"Was he okay about it?" he asked, slightly anxious.</p><p>"Yes, he was fine. He knew why." A small smile at the corner of her mouth.</p><p>"Why?"</p><p>She punched his arm playfully. "Why do you think? You, of course. But for Christ's sake, Sidney, I’d been waiting all week for you to come and talk to me. Where were you, Tuesday and Wednesday?”</p><p>“Ah yes, I wanted to tell you about that. The truth is, Charlotte, I’ve been looking for another job since Christmas. I was doing interviews, at a school in Lewes.”</p><p>Charlotte’s eyes widened. “You’re leaving?”</p><p>“Well, I don’t know, I haven’t got the job yet,” he grinned. “But I’m on a shortlist of three. The final interviews are just before half term.”</p><p>There was a pause as Charlotte processed this information. “Wow, you kept that quiet. Does Mrs Denham know?”</p><p>“Yeah. She’s a bit pissed off. To be honest, I'll be glad to get away from her. It’s a really nice school actually, similar post, Senior Management, but the head said she thought I had too many responsibilities in Sanditon, so in fact, I might get an easier ride. Win-win really.”</p><p>“And when would you start?”</p><p>“Probably September. I’d need to give at least a term’s notice.”</p><p>Charlotte was still stunned. “Sidney, why did you decide to do this? I thought you loved Sanditon.”</p><p>“Yeah, but it’s my old school, I’m a bit sick of the place. Actually, Charlotte,” he paused, holding her hand in his. “I did it for you. So we could be together. Without people watching or gossiping about us. So that you could pursue your career without the added distraction of sleeping with your boss. Well, you know what I mean...” He blushed.</p><p>"You would do that, for me?"</p><p>"Of course. Without a second thought."</p><p>She frowned. "That's very gallant of you, Sidney, but I don’t quite understand your logic. You were looking for a new job so that we could be together, but you didn't actually tell me about it. And, perhaps you've forgotten, but you had actually dumped me." She withdrew her hand from his.</p><p>He swallowed. "I didn't want to break up with you, Charlotte."</p><p>"Then why did you? It doesn't make sense."</p><p>He sighed. "Look, as I said on Monday, there's stuff I need to talk to you about. But not now, tonight maybe?"</p><p>She looked uncertainly at him. "Tonight?"</p><p>"Yes, why don't I come round, I'll bring some food and we can talk. Look Charlotte, I've been an idiot, I know that. I realised that at Christmas. But then, when I saw you again after the holidays, every time I tried to talk to you, you pushed me away."</p><p>"Why do you think?" She looked up at him, her eyes glistening with tears. "You bloody hurt me, you know. You broke my heart."</p><p>There was a stunned silence. Sidney took her hands in his and there was the hint of tears in his eyes as well. "I'm so sorry," he whispered. "Oh Charlotte, I thought I was doing the right thing, but... oh god, I've missed you so much." He looked down, unable to meet her eye.</p><p>She hesitated. He seemed sincere. He was not perfect, far from it, but deep down, she knew he was a good man. And she had missed him too. Life had been mundane and empty, as much as she had tried to fill it. The explanations would have to wait.</p><p>"I've missed you too," she whispered back.</p><p>He drew her towards him and kissed her, stroking her face lovingly. She shifted to sit on his lap, her legs hanging over his. Putting her arms around his neck, she pressed herself against his chest and kissed him deeply. Through her pyjama top, he could feel her soft, unrestrained breasts pushing against him. He gently caressed the bare skin on her back, then began to kiss her neck. As he reached her clavicle, she moaned softly. He slipped his hand under her top and she trembled as he touched her bare breasts. Looking up at her questioningly, he began to undo the buttons of her top. She nodded.</p><p>Once all the buttons were undone, he stopped and stared in wonder for a moment. Smiling, she held his head in her hands and pulled it towards her chest. He licked and kissed her breasts, stroking them as he did so. He was in heaven. He took one nipple in his mouth and sucked it urgently. She moaned again. His desire was beginning to overwhelm him. Sighing, he laid his head on her breasts, as she softly stroked his hair. Then he looked up at her, smiling.</p><p>“Charlotte, they are magnificent. Sorry, I mean, <em>you</em> are magnificent.”</p><p>She smiled back at him shyly, watching his ears go red. “Sidney, I... the thing is, this has all been a bit sudden... and um... well, it's my time of the month.”</p><p>“It’s okay,” he said, “I understand. Come here.” He took her in his arms and kissed her softly, then she placed her head on his chest, inhaling his beautiful scent.</p><p>“I have to get back to school anyway," he sighed. "But listen, Charlotte, there are some very important things I need to ask you.”</p><p>“What?” she asked, puzzled.</p><p>“Well, firstly, could I please have your bloody phone number?”</p><p>She laughed. “I thought you’d never ask. Give me your phone then.” After typing ‘Charlotte’ in the contacts, he passed it to her and she punched in the number. “There. What else?”</p><p>“Secondly, will you go out with me? On a date? Soon?”</p><p>“Yes, Sidney, I will. Thank you.”</p><p>“Good. That’s sorted then.” He kissed her nose. “Right, so I'll come round tonight? There's a lot to talk about.”</p><p>“What, exactly?” She frowned again.</p><p>“It’s complicated. And not that pleasant. Basically it's about Edward. But don’t worry, we’ll sort it out.”</p><p>“Oh god. Now you’ve got me worried. I was talking to Clara only this week and...”</p><p>He stopped her with his hand. “Don’t worry, please. We’ll talk later. 7 o'clock okay? I’ll bring some pizza if you like. Maybe some wine? There’s a first team match after school today against Brighton High, I said I’d go along and help, but I won’t be late.”</p><p>“That would be great. Oh... Esther’s meeting Bradley tonight... what if they want to hang out here? I don’t really feel up to going out.”</p><p>“Don’t you worry, I’ll sort Brad out.” He took her hand. “Look Charlotte, I know you’re on your period. Actually, it doesn’t really bother me, but I guess it would be nicer if… well, presuming that’s what you want?”</p><p>She nodded, blushing slightly. “Yes. Maybe not just yet though.”</p><p>“I understand. And you don’t need to be embarrassed. My sister’s a doctor, for Christ’s sake, I spent my whole childhood listening to her talk about body parts and bodily functions.” He chuckled at the memory. “My god, could she moan about her periods. And now she’s a bloody gynaecologist. We get to hear some stories on Sunday lunchtimes, I can tell you. The poor kids must be traumatised.”</p><p>Charlotte laughed. “She sounds interesting. I’d like to meet her. Doesn’t she have any children herself?”</p><p>“No. But she and Susan are trying I think. Susan will have the baby and she’ll deliver it, I guess that’s the plan. You must meet her, Arthur too. And Mary, she really wants to meet you. In fact, she was the one who gave me the nudge at Christmas to start looking for another job. I told her all about you.”</p><p>“I’d love to. Are she and Tom... getting on any better?”</p><p>“Not bad. He had a bit of a relapse, but he’s getting back on track and they’ve started having joint counselling sessions again. I’ve got the kids next Friday night though. Maybe you could come out with us on Saturday, go to the park or something?” He smiled shyly.</p><p>“I’d love to. Is that the date then?”</p><p>“No, Charlotte, that’s not the date. I’ll think about that one. But... what about your birthday? That’s a Saturday, isn’t it?”</p><p><em>He’d remembered.</em> “Yes, but that’s two weeks away.”</p><p>“Oh, impatient are we?” He drew him to her again and kissed her. “Well, we can most definitely see each other before then, but can I book that one in? Your birthday? I’d like to treat you.”</p><p>All her dreams coming true, all at once. “Yes please.”</p><p>They kissed tenderly. “Sidney?” she asked. She was still sitting on his lap. “Did you um… see me naked last night?”</p><p>“Yes. Look, you were passed out, we had to warm you up. I was really worried about you, you know.”</p><p>She nodded. “You laid down next to me and held me, didn’t you? I liked that.”</p><p>“I liked it too,” he replied softly. They kissed again, passionately, as she pinned him back against the sofa.</p><p>“Miss Heywood, would you please let me go? I have to get back to work.”</p><p>She didn’t budge. “Right.” He lifted her up off his lap and laid her down on the sofa, as he adjusted his clothing, standing up. “I’ll see you tonight.” He bent down to kiss her one last time, then left.</p><p> </p><p>Charlotte sank back onto the sofa, hugging her breasts, not quite believing what had just happened. She lay there for several minutes, basking in the warm glow of Sidney’s kisses, lingering on her lips and on her skin. She’d never met anyone quite so… tender and yet quite so… hungry, all at the same time. She hadn’t even needed to explain to him about not feeling quite ready for sex yet, he’d understood. Even about her period. She chuckled. He’d actually said it wouldn’t have bothered him. Interesting. But all this made his behaviour at the Christmas party even more confusing. She frowned. So he’d been looking for a job in the hope they could continue their relationship. But he’d dumped her. It still didn’t make sense. And what did he mean about Edward? Was it something to do with that night at the club, about seeing them on the fire escape?</p><p>She had a long hot shower, some lunch, then decided to give Georgie a call. It was Friday afternoon, she might be tying up the loose ends from the week and have a chance to chat. As luck would have it, she did. It had been a while since Charlotte had spoken to her and now she was bursting to tell her the latest news, which all came out in an excited scramble over the phone.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>- Hang on, Char. You did what? You bit his lip and ran along the seafront in the rain, without your coat on? In January? What are you, Jane Eyre or something?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- I’d say more Marianne Dashwood, wouldn’t you? Charlotte giggled. Though he’s certainly no Willoughby. Not sure what I’d call him really. Not really a Darcy, or a Knightley. Definitely not a Colonel Brandon, way too sexy. I guess he’s just… Sidney Parker.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Char, are you okay? I think the fever’s gone to your brain. Or maybe it’s his kisses that did that? Or was it more than kisses…?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Not yet. Only kisses. Well maybe some kisses on… other parts of my body. The upper half.</em>
</p><p><em>- Another man obsessed with your tits, Charlotte.  </em>She whispered, chuckling.</p><p>
  <em>- Indeed. He said they were magnificent.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- They are, darling. </em>
</p><p>They both laughed.</p><p>
  <em>- Oh, it’s so good to talk to you Georgie, I feel like we haven’t spoken properly in ages. I felt like… like you didn’t really approve of him before…?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Well, I don’t know him, do I? I was just worried about you. You’ve already been through one break-up in the last year. I mean, he’s older than you, he’s divorced, he’s your boss, I’m allowed to be a little concerned, aren’t I? And then he dumped you. So what was all that about?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Yeah, you’re right. I still don't understand exactly what happened, but he’s coming round tonight to explain. Anyway, how are you Georgie?</em>
</p><p><em>- Fine. Great, actually … </em>she whispered…<em> I might be going to Canada!</em></p><p>
  <em>- What? With work?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Yeah. To the Toronto office. I’ve kind of been headhunted, but nothing’s finalised yet, so don’t tell anyone.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Wow, that’s fantastic. When would you go? And for how long?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- In August. It’s a two-year contract to start with, but who knows?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Wow. So… what about Otis?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- I’m not sure. I haven’t told him yet. Want to wait until it’s firmed up a bit. You know what though, he's more or less stopped the online gambling. He still plays the stock market a bit, but he's talking about going back to college. Wants to study philosophy!</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Really? I can see him doing that. Sidney’s hopefully getting a new job too, 20 miles up the road. Then we won’t be working in the same place.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Oh that’s good. Was that his idea?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Yep. He only told me today, but he’s got a final interview soon.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- He must really like you, Char. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Seems that way. I haven’t felt this happy in ages, Georgie.<br/></em>
</p><p>
  <em>- You want to come up to London for your birthday? Be great to see you.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Well… he just asked if he could take me out on my birthday, so…</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Yeah, yeah, I get it. No time for me now you’re in love.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Stop it, I’ll see you soon, I promise.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- I’m only joking. Look, got to go. Miranda’s glaring at me. Bye. Have a good time tonight.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Bye.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>**************************************</p><p> </p><p>Meanwhile, Sidney was in his office, once again finding it hard to concentrate, but for different reasons this time.</p><p>He whipped out his phone. Charlotte. His new contact. Maybe just a quick message, make sure she was okay.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>- Hi. How you feeling? Managed to get some clothes on yet?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Yes thanks. I’m fully dressed and I’ve had lunch. I don’t usually slob around in pyjamas you know.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- I don’t really mind if you do. I’m finding it hard to concentrate today, Miss Heywood.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- And why would that be, Mr Parker?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- I don’t know, something to do with this gorgeous madwoman I found on the seafront last night. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>- I was beginning to think you weren’t going to follow me!</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- I didn’t tell you. I bumped into Mrs Denham. She saw you running down the corridor. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Oh god. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Don’t worry. She wasn’t even sure who you were. I told her you were a ghost.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Thanks. Now she’s going to freak next time she sees me. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Got to go. See you later.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- I can’t wait. Bye xx</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Bye beautiful xx</em>
</p><p> </p><p>He sighed, chewing his pen a little anxiously. He hadn't wanted to talk about the photo earlier; there wasn't really time and, to tell the truth, he was a little nervous of her reaction. He also hadn't wanted to spoil the special moment they had shared. Surely she'd understand?</p><p>Just one more message.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>- Brad. It’s back on with Charlotte. I think I’m more in love than ever.</em>
</p><p>A few minutes later:</p><p>😊 <em>Yes, Esther told me. I’m pleased. You deserve to be happy, Sid.</em></p><p>
  <em>- Thanks. Are you seeing Esther tonight?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Yeah. I’m leaving London soon. Why?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Can you keep out of the flat this evening? I need some time alone with Charlotte and she’s not well enough to come to mine.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Some time alone eh?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Yeah, but not like that. Seriously. There’s stuff we need to discuss.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Okay, no problem. I’ll take Esther out for dinner.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Thanks. See you later.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Later.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Sidney turned his computer off and went to get changed into his sports gear.</p><p>The match went well; Sanditon Head won easily, 3-1. The boys all trotted off back to the changing rooms and Sidney stayed to clear up the pitch, picking up the discarded water bottles, sweaters and the cones they’d used for markers. Leon was there too. The two men regarded each other a little warily, but didn’t speak. Then Leon walked over, nervously running his hands through his hair.</p><p>“Um... Mr Parker... Sidney...”</p><p>“Yeah?”</p><p>“I was wondering... I heard Charlotte was ill today. Do you know how she is? I was with her yesterday after school and she seemed fine then.”</p><p>“Oh yeah,” said Sidney nonchalantly, “she caught a chill walking home in the rain. I’m sure she’ll be fine by Monday.”</p><p>“Sidney,” continued Leon, a little unsurely, “Look, I know you’re more senior than me and everything, but... can I say something, like, man to man?”</p><p>Sidney resisted the temptation to smirk. It would be unfair to rub it in. Leon was a nice guy and didn’t mean any harm.</p><p>“Sure, what is it you want to say?”</p><p>“Look, I know there was something going on between you and Charlotte. Everyone saw you at the Christmas party. The other teachers said you had never come along to the club before, and you couldn’t take your eyes off her. I don’t blame you, to be honest,” he grinned.</p><p>Sidney continued staring at him, unsmiling. “And?”</p><p>“Well, I was talking to her yesterday, you know, and... she’s still in love with you. I just... I don’t know what happened between you, but if I had a woman like that in love with me, I wouldn’t be... playing games with her. Sorry, I just had to say it.”</p><p>Sidney put his hand on Leon’s shoulder and smiled. “It’s okay, Leon. Thank you. In fact, I think you’ve done me a favour. Actually...” he looked down at his trainers, “I spoke to Charlotte last night. I took her home when she got caught in the rain. And I’m going round there tonight. There’s a lot we need to discuss, but... I guess you could say we’re back on. Although I’d be grateful if you’d keep that to yourself.”</p><p>Leon grinned. “You sly dog. Don’t worry, your secret’s safe with me. Really, I’m glad. I hated seeing her miserable.”</p><p>“Thanks.”</p><p>“Well, have a good time tonight. Give her my... best wishes.”</p><p>“I will. Cheers. Come on, let’s get this lot back inside.”</p><p>The two men walked companionably back to the school building.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Try a little tenderness – Otis Redding (1966)</p><p>So I was trying to use a Mr Knightley line there, but it didn't quite work. I think it's a Jonny Lee Miller line anyway (Emma 2009, my favourite version), I can't find it in the book!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0035"><h2>35. Time for truth</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>So - the period thing. It wasn't really a deliberate choice, it just happened as part of the story. Charlotte was a bit stressed that week and one factor in her going crazy at Sidney and running out in the rain may have been her period. I think I wrote that chapter late one night (probably when I was on my period) and I didn't really know what was going to happen. Then I realised I had created a bit of a difficult situation for them, given that they are eager to be reunited. But it's interesting to see how they will navigate it.</p><p>First of all though, Sidney has a lot of explaining to do...</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>Charlotte had butterflies in her stomach. It wasn’t exactly a date, but she wanted to look nice, so she spent a little time getting ready. Esther had come home from uni at about 4pm and she’d updated her on the events of the day before. Esther was amused and surprised in equal measure, but very happy for her. She promised to keep out of the way that evening and went off to get ready for her own date.</p><p>Shortly after 7pm, the buzzer rang and Charlotte let Sidney in. He stood there, grinning, on the doorstep, laden down with bags. He was simply wearing dark jeans, a black sweater and the long black coat that he’d wrapped around her the night before. He leaned down and kissed her on the cheek.</p><p>“Come in,” she said shyly. Sidney took in her appearance: figure-hugging dark blue jeans and a floaty, slightly low cut top, with a pretty cardigan over her shoulders. It looked like the top she’d worn that very first night he’d seen her, at the King’s Head. Her hair was tidy and she had a little bit of make-up on, but no lipstick. He thought she looked beautiful.</p><p>“Here,” he said, “I’ve got pizza and stuff, we can just heat it up, plus a bottle of red. You do like red?” She nodded.</p><p>“And,” he paused, bringing out a big bunch of flowers from behind his back, “these are for you. Oh damn,” he said, “I think I forgot to take the price label off.”</p><p>“Thank you, Sidney,” she giggled, “you’re such a romantic.”</p><p>“Oh and these,” he continued, handing her a big box of chocolates. “I decided you’re looking a bit skinny these days.”</p><p>She laughed. “Thanks. We can share them.”</p><p>They went through to the kitchen and began preparing the food. He watched intently as she bent over to put the pizzas in the oven, biting his thumb. As she stood up, he came up behind her, put his arms round her and started kissing her neck.</p><p>“Sidney,” she said, “I thought we had stuff to discuss.”</p><p>“Yeah we do,” he sighed, pulling away. “Okay.”</p><p>“How was the match anyway?”</p><p>“Oh, we won easily. Dwayne scored a hat-trick. By the way, I had a chat with Leon afterwards.”</p><p>“You did?” Charlotte blushed. She really hoped Leon hadn’t mentioned the kiss. She regretted that now.</p><p>“Yeah. He asked after you, sends you his best wishes. And um... I told him I was coming round to see you tonight. He said he was happy for us.”</p><p>Charlotte breathed a sigh of relief. “That’s nice.”</p><p>“I was lucky there, wasn’t I Charlotte? I don’t think I realised quite how precious you were to me until I was in danger of losing you.” He stroked her cheek.</p><p>“Well maybe,” she replied. “But there wasn’t really a lot of competition. You just needed  a kick up the arse,” she laughed.</p><p>He grinned wryly. “Yep, you’re right. I’m sorry.”</p><p>She served up the food, he opened the wine and they sat down to eat.</p><p>“Come on then,” she said. “Tell me.”</p><p> </p><p>So he did. He told her the whole story about the taxi ride, Edward’s threats, their fight, the photo, everything.</p><p>Charlotte blanched. “He has a photo of us – on the fire escape?”</p><p>Sidney nodded grimly.</p><p>“But what... what can you see?”</p><p>Sidney put his head in his hands. “It’s pretty clear I’m afraid. He must have a good camera. And... it was taken at quite a... compromising moment.” He reddened. “I’m sorry, Charlotte.”</p><p>“It’s not your fault, Sidney. But what are we going to do? What’s our strategy?”</p><p>“How the hell should I know?” he shrugged.</p><p>There was a pause.</p><p>“Sidney,” she said with some irritation, “why the fuck didn’t you tell me any of this?”</p><p>“I don’t know, I panicked... I wanted to protect you.”</p><p>“Jesus. Don’t you think I’ve got a right to know if some pervert’s got a picture of me half naked on his phone?” She gave him a piercing glare and, pushing her plate away, half-eaten, rose abruptly from the table and walked towards the sink, facing the window, her hands gripping the counter.</p><p>Sidney, shocked, got up from the table and walked gingerly towards her. Standing next to her at the sink, he put one hand on hers. She wouldn’t look at him. She pulled her hand away sharply and faced him, furious. “And I think you might have told me all this before you started trying to take off my pyjamas earlier. For god’s sake! You’re all as bad as each other.”</p><p>“Charlotte, that’s not fair, please.” <em>Fuck. What had he done?</em></p><p>“I’ve a good mind to ask you to leave right now. How far would you have gone this lunchtime, if I’d let you?” She was trembling, a tear running down her face.</p><p>There was a long pause. “Charlotte, I’m not like that,” he pleaded. “If that’s all I wanted, I could have tried months ago, couldn’t I? Believe me, I wanted to. Many times.” He swallowed. “I want… much more than that.” His voice was breaking.</p><p>Her breathing calmed down a little. Looking at him, she could see the pain and confusion in his eyes. “Okay, fair enough. Although, honestly, sometimes I wish we’d… had sex months ago, got it out the way. Then we wouldn’t have this mess, would we? I mean, look at Esther and Brad. They certainly didn’t waste any time!” A wry smile.</p><p>“We couldn’t do that, Charlotte,” he said quietly. “You know why.” He sighed. “Don’t shut me out, please. Listen to me. I know I’ve fucked up, but I really… care about you.”</p><p>She hesitated, reaching for his hand, gently twisting his index finger. “Okay then, explain. Why didn’t you come round to my flat the very next day and tell me exactly what had happened?”</p><p>He exhaled. “I’m sorry. I wanted to protect you. I felt like it was all my fault and... look, I was worried about my career and my family, yes, but I was also worried about yours. You’re only just starting out. I thought if I kept everything quiet and we stopped seeing each other, Edward would eventually get bored and leave us alone.”</p><p>“But it wasn’t your decision to make. You should have told me. We could have worked out what to do together. Maybe I could have even helped.”</p><p>He looked down at his hands. “That’s just what Mary said. Fuck. I’ve been an idiot, haven’t I?”</p><p>“Yes, just a bit. Trying to be a big, brave man and sort everything out by yourself. If you guys would just listen to us women sometimes, I’m sure we could solve half the world’s problems in half the time. My god, you’re infuriating, do you know that?” She banged the sink hard, glaring at him. “What if he’d done something with the photo in the meantime? What if he’d tried to touch me up again? What would have happened then? And there was certainly no reason to dump me.” Staring out of the window, she said quietly, “That hurt, you know. That hurt a hell of a lot.”</p><p>He encased her hand in his and this time she let it remain there.</p><p>“I’m so sorry, Charlotte. I don’t know what I was thinking. I… I was ashamed I guess, I thought you were better out of the situation, better off with someone else perhaps. Not with me and all my family problems, my emotional baggage and my moodiness. I thought you deserved better.”</p><p>She looked up at him, exasperated. “But you didn’t ask <em>me </em>what I wanted, did you?”</p><p>“What would you have said, if I had? I mean, there are plenty of other guys out there. You could have your pick, you know. “</p><p>Charlotte looked deep into his eyes. “But I don’t want them.”</p><p>“Oh Charlotte.” He pulled her into his arms and she laid her head on his chest. They remained like that for a long time, silent. Wrapping her arms around his waist, she held him close as he kissed the top of her head.</p><p> </p><p>After a while, he spoke again very quietly, turning his head away from her and focusing on the dark winter sky outside. "I suppose I'm used to making all the decisions by myself. When I was younger, I was very close to my mum. But after the accident... I was only 25... Diana was good to me, but Arthur took up a lot of her time, he was only 18 when they died, you see, and he went off the rails a bit. And Tom... well, I've always had a difficult relationship with Tom. Then of course I married the wrong woman," he grimaced, "then when Tom went bankrupt and Mary left him, we all had to pull together and focus on the children. They were the most important thing. They still are." He paused, sighing heavily. "And then what do I do, I meet someone like you and I fuck it all up."</p><p>Reaching up with both hands, she pulled his face towards her, stroking his jaw. "Oh Sidney. You're a good man. I knew that the first day I saw you on the beach with those kids. They’re not even yours, but they adore you. You're definitely the sensible brother," she smiled.  "But you can't take the weight of the world on your shoulders, you know. And," she paused, "you're not alone anymore."</p><p>He looked deep into her dark brown eyes; his own beginning to well with tears. "Charlotte, I don't deserve you."</p><p>"Yes you do." She gripped his face even more tightly, smiling at him. "I'm not perfect either Sidney, far from it, everyone makes mistakes. But no more secrets, okay?"</p><p>In reply, he leaned down and his mouth sought hers, gently but urgently. Leaning against the sink, their limbs coiled together, he became aroused, not because he wanted to touch her or look at her body; rather, he wanted his whole being to melt into hers, stripping away all the clothes, all the obstacles, all the preamble, to become a part of her, connect with her, lose himself inside her, forget about everything and everyone else, only be in that moment with her. Nothing else mattered, the rest of the world was an irrelevance. Charlotte could feel him yearning for her and she yearned for him too, but for now she buried her face in his neck, as they leaned into each other, rocking slowly and peacefully, breathing in each other's scent.</p><p> </p><p>Eventually, she broke the spell. "Come on, our food’s going cold.”</p><p>As they sat down, she sighed, with some exasperation. "You know, there were other solutions. If you'd talked to me, we could have come up with a plan. In fact, I'm starting to think of one already."</p><p>"Really?"</p><p>"Yes. It involves Clara..."</p><p>As they finished their meal, she told him about her conversation with Clara in the car the other night. He couldn’t believe his ears.</p><p>“That fucking Edward!” He slammed down his glass of wine. “I’ve a good mind to go round his house right now and have it out with him. Christ, I wish I’d punched him even harder in that taxi.”</p><p>“What good would that do? Much better to use our wits to bring him down, if we can.”</p><p>“Yes you’re right, but why would he spread lies about you in that way? The man’s a fucking pervert.”</p><p>She shrugged. “He’s a fantasist. He gets off on it. As if I would do anything like that. I wouldn’t even do that on your desk, Sidney, even I wanted to...” she smiled flirtatiously.</p><p>He laughed. “Well, I wouldn’t say no, obviously, but to be honest I’d rather keep these things outside work, if that’s okay with you.” He reddened a little. He really didn’t want to tell her about that.</p><p>Her expression became more serious again. “Sidney... is he right though? Am I a cock tease?”</p><p>“Why on earth do you say that?”</p><p>“Because...” she paused, looking up at the ceiling, embarrassed, “after you... dumped me, I thought maybe it was because you were... disappointed. Because I stopped you. On the fire escape. Like you thought I was frigid or something.”</p><p>“God no, Charlotte!” He reached across the table for her hand. “That’s the last thing I was thinking. Really... I was so... ashamed of myself for getting carried away. You’re not a cock tease and you’re definitely not frigid” – he thought back to the previous night in the staffroom – “don’t ever think that.”</p><p>She sighed with relief. “So what really happened there? I still don’t get it.”</p><p>“Let’s go through to the other room, shall we?” He stood up, holding his wine and caressing her back as they moved through to the living room. She dimmed the lights and they sat on the sofa next to each other, the box of chocolates on the table beside them.</p><p> </p><p>He swallowed. “Listen, I... I’m going to start at the beginning I guess. It’s kind of difficult to say this without sounding like an arrogant prick.” He smiled wryly. “When I was younger, at school and at uni – especially at uni – I um... I never really had any trouble going out with women. I guess you could say I took advantage of it. But I think – at least I hope – I didn’t take advantage of the women I slept with. I never used to lead anyone on or two-time anyone, I just… enjoyed myself. Hopefully they enjoyed it too.”</p><p>Charlotte was smiling. “I’m sure they did. So you never had any relationships?”</p><p>“Nothing that lasted longer than a month or two, I’m afraid.” He looked a bit embarrassed. “I guess you... weren’t quite like that?”</p><p>She laughed, looking down at her wine glass. “No, not quite. I haven’t been an angel though, Sidney. I had a few flings at university too. Though if I’d behaved like that, I’d have been called names, wouldn’t I?”</p><p>“Yeah, I guess. Double standards.” He shrugged. “Look, I’m not exactly proud of it, not now. I’d never do that kind of thing again. I was young and a bit vain, that’s my only excuse.”</p><p>“It’s okay,” she said, “I’m not judging.”</p><p>“How many then?” he ventured, looking at her from the corner of his eye.</p><p>“I’m not telling you,” she laughed. “You tell me first.”</p><p>“Ah...” he looked down. “I didn’t exactly keep a running total. Not too bad. Around 40 I suppose.”</p><p><em>Jesus.</em> “Were you careful, Sidney?”</p><p>“Yeah, of course. I’m not stupid.”</p><p>“No secret love children?”</p><p>“Not that I know of. So, what about you?”</p><p>She blushed. “Seven, actually. And no one since James.”</p><p>He took her hand. “I’m sorry. I don’t see the point in not being straight about these things. Look, this was years ago. After I left uni and went into teaching, I slowed down I guess. I had a couple of semi-serious relationships, and then I met Eliza. And that was that.”</p><p>“And since her?”</p><p>“I lost interest for a while. I went off to Kenya – I met someone there, but it was just a short term thing. She was American, by the way, nice woman, but we both knew it would come to an end. Then there was that supply teacher. That was almost two years ago, and honestly, that nearly put me off for life.” He looked down, swirling his wine.</p><p>“Why?” she asked pointedly, frowning.</p><p>He reddened. “It was a big mistake. Look, I was a bit lonely and it was just sex… I’m a bit ashamed about it, to be honest. I don’t really want to go into details right now, but um… Edward said he knew about that too. That really freaked me out.”</p><p>She frowned. "So do you... have a history of doing this with teachers?"</p><p>“No, no… well, I went out with a few colleagues before I was married, nothing serious. But after um... Sarah, I guess I was a bit wary about starting a relationship with another teacher."</p><p>There was a pause. “Sidney, I appreciate your honesty, really I do, but why are you telling me all this?”</p><p>“Because...” he looked up at the ceiling. “When I met you, the first time I saw you actually, and most definitely the second time, on the beach, it was like something came back to life in me. I hadn’t felt so turned on in years.” He winked at her.</p><p>“You were... kind of ogling me, that day on the beach,” she laughed.</p><p>“I know. That’s why I was so embarrassed you caught me out. I had no idea you would walk into my office the next week. It was most disconcerting, I can tell you. And then... we had those misunderstandings, I got so angry with you in the pub that time, but I was just jealous. You know the saying, men think with their cocks. I felt like I had this constant battle between my head telling me one thing, to deal with you professionally, treat you with the respect you deserve, get to know you as a person, and my cock telling me something else. Sorry, do you mind me saying this?”</p><p>“No,” she smiled. “Sidney... I might not have a cock, but you know, I had similar feelings about you too. I’ve thought about you a lot when I’ve... been on my own.” He smiled back, knowingly.</p><p>“So what happened then?” she enquired. “You seemed to draw back a little, even when you were giving me a lift home every week.”</p><p>“Yeah, I guess that was a deliberate ploy. I… I really liked you, Charlotte. I wanted you badly... but I also wanted to get to know you. I felt like... there was something else there, something I don’t think I’ve ever experienced with anyone else. I didn’t just want to jump into bed with you. I wanted to find out about you, tell you about myself, see if... if there was any compatibility, I suppose."</p><p>She smiled. “I lied to you, you know. About the horoscopes. Apparently the goat and the fish are very compatible.”</p><p>He smiled back, caressing her hand. “That’s good. So everything was going well, I thought. And then that bloody club. I don't know, I was tired, I'd had too much to drink, I was frustrated I guess, after the night before. I'd really been looking forward to that. I don’t know what came over me. I’m so sorry, Charlotte.”</p><p>She moved across the sofa towards him. Taking his face between her hands, she gave him a lingering kiss. “I forgive you.”</p><p>She took off her cardigan and sat on his lap, straddling him. He swallowed. Caressing the nape of his neck, she leaned forward to kiss him. She hauled his sweater over his head, ruffling his hair as she did so. He was wearing a light blue shirt, similar to the one he’d worn at the club that night, and she began to fumble with the buttons, until half of them were undone and she could see his beautiful chest and the hairs that covered it. She kissed his stubbly chin, his neck, then moved down, planting small kisses along the way, inhaling that indefinable scent. Sidney closed his eyes in pleasure. His hands were resting on the small of her back; he moved them slowly over her bare skin. She undid all the buttons on his shirt and stroked the hairs covering his navel, trailing down towards his belt.</p><p>He lifted her top over her head and gazed at her, sitting on his lap in only her jeans and bra, her beautiful hair tumbling around her shoulders. Pushing his shirt off his shoulders, she leaned in towards him. Still kissing, he fumbled inexpertly with her bra strap. Damn, why were these things always so hard to get off... Breaking free, she laughed softly and reached round to undo it herself. She slowly slid the straps off her shoulders and tossed it onto the floor. Sidney sat there in amazement for a second.</p><p>In the same instant, they came together, their bodies entwining, skin to skin. Kissing passionately, they fell back on the sofa, she on top of him as he ran his hands through her hair, over her back and her bum. Gripping her tightly, he pulled her towards him, then rolled her over until he was on top, kissing her body hungrily. Breaking away, he towered over her and their eyes met.</p><p>"You are so beautiful, Charlotte." He leaned down and kissed her, then lay by her side, stroking her breasts and burying his head in her hair.</p><p> </p><p>Suddenly, there was a sound downstairs. The sound of a key in the lock and two voices, laughing and talking. They broke apart, flustered. “Shit, they’re back early!” laughed Charlotte.</p><p>“Well it is nearly 11,” he said, looking at his watch, quickly grabbing his shirt and scrambling to put it back on. Charlotte grabbed her top and threw it over her head and sat demurely on the sofa next to him.</p><p>Esther and Bradley walked in the door. “Hi, you two!” Esther called gaily. She noticed their flushed faces and dishevelled hair.</p><p>“Lord, you look like a pair of naughty teenagers. What have you been up to?” she laughed, noticing Charlotte’s bra lying on the floor. She winked at Charlotte, nodding her head. Charlotte hastily pushed her bra under the sofa with her foot.</p><p>“Hi,” growled Sidney, “did you have a good time?”</p><p>“Yeah, we had a great time,” smirked Brad, “I’m guessing you did too.”</p><p>“We’ve been doing a lot of talking,” said Charlotte. “We had stuff to sort out.”</p><p>“Yeah right,” said Brad. “Very important.”</p><p>“Who wants a peppermint tea?” asked Esther. “I’m so stuffed from that delicious meal.”</p><p>She went through to the kitchen to make some tea, and the four friends sat and chatted for a while.</p><p>“So are we still going for a bike ride tomorrow, Sid, or do you have other plans?” asked Bradley.</p><p>“Oh, I umm... I was thinking of taking Charlotte out for lunch tomorrow?” he said, looking at Charlotte.</p><p>“Sure yes, that’d be nice,” replied Charlotte.</p><p>“We could go in the morning if you like, Brad. I’ll be at home.”</p><p>“Oh, you’re not staying?” asked Esther.</p><p>“Um no, not tonight,” replied Sidney. “I think Charlotte needs her beauty sleep.” He ruffled her hair. He had noticed her yawning as she sipped her tea.</p><p>“Hey, why don’t we all go out for dinner tomorrow night? Double date?” he grinned.</p><p>“That sounds lovely,” said Esther. “Vincenzo’s again, I suppose?”</p><p>“Great. Well, I’ll be off.”</p><p> </p><p>Charlotte escorted him to the door. “You could have stayed, you know. Although my bed’s a bit small.”</p><p>“It’s okay,” he said, stroking her face. “Let’s not rush things.” He kissed her gently, then whispered in her ear, “You drive me wild, Charlotte. I’m not sure I could control myself.”</p><p>She smiled. “Maybe I don’t want you to. But you’re right, let’s save it for another time.”</p><p>Sidney cocked his head at the other room. “I hope they’re not too noisy tonight.”</p><p>“Don’t worry,” she grinned. “I bought some earplugs.”</p><p>He kissed her again and left.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>"As I see it, he is a good man who made one terrible mistake."</p><p>Just think how much better Episode 8 could have turned out if Sidney had sought Charlotte's help. Or Susan's help. Or anyone's help really, instead of taking all the burden on himself.</p><p>Wonderwall – Oasis (1995)<br/>“And all the roads we have to walk are winding<br/>And all the lights that lead us there are blinding<br/>There are many things that I<br/>Would like to say to you but I don't know how<br/>Because maybe, you're gonna be the one that saves me<br/>And after all, you're my wonderwall”</p><p>Song for Whoever, The Beautiful South (1989)<br/>Let’s talk about sex – Salt n’ Pepa (1991)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0036"><h2>36. Confessions</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Esther and Brad have a late night heart-to-heart and Sidney and Charlotte go for a walk on the beach before their Saturday night rendezvous...</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>Charlotte climbed into bed happily and popped in her earplugs but in fact, all was silent. Across the corridor, Esther and Bradley were lying quietly in bed together, chatting. They were wearing T-shirts, as it was a cold February night.</p><p>“I think it’s great,” said Bradley. “Sid deserves a chance to be happy. Are you happy, Esther?”</p><p>“You know I am.” She kissed his cheek.</p><p>“Esther...” he ventured. “You were saying, earlier, in the restaurant, about your dad and that. You said you’d tell me some more. Only if you want to, of course. It’s just sometimes I feel like you’re holding back, even in bed, sometimes you kind of freeze when I do certain things. I can’t read your mind, you know, but I don’t want to do anything that upsets you.”</p><p>Esther was silent for a while. “You don’t upset me, Bradley. I love what you do. You’re gentle and yet... not gentle, all at the same time.”</p><p>“Well that’s good.” He stroked her hair. “So was it your dad? Surely not...”</p><p>“No,” she replied firmly. “My dad never really showed any interest in me of any kind, to be honest. It was my stepbrother.”</p><p>Bradley’s eyes widened. “Oh.”</p><p>“Okay, I’ll tell you,” sighed Esther. “Feels like I’ve been telling this story a lot lately. Could take a while.”</p><p>“We’ve got all night. I’m not going anywhere.”</p><p>So she told him. He held her, she talked, she cried, he comforted her. At 2am, they got up to go to the kitchen to get some water. The moon shone through the window, reflecting off the hard metal of the sink. Outside, the noise of foxes snuffling through bins. Bradley put his arms around her and they stood there for a while, just looking at the night sky.</p><p>“So,” breathed Esther, “you’re not going to run a mile? You’ll still be there in the morning?”</p><p>Bradley chuckled softly. “Esther, you know I can’t run for toffee. I’m not going anywhere.”</p><p>They went back to bed and held each other tightly. He stroked her hair and gazed into her beautiful green eyes.</p><p>“You know what you remind me of, Esther? You’re like an exotic bird. Rare and very precious. I’m so glad I found you.”</p><p>Esther could hardly speak. Burying her head on his chest, she whispered, “No one’s ever said anything like that to me before.”</p><p>They slept peacefully in each other’s arms until daybreak.</p><p> </p><p>***********************************************</p><p> </p><p>Sidney called for Charlotte at lunchtime and they headed off to the Lighthouse café. The rain seemed to have finally abated; it was a fine, fresh, cold day. As they walked, he reached for her hand but then drew back, conscious that it was a busy Saturday and the town would be full of students, or their parents.</p><p>Inside the café, he went to the counter to order their food. “What’ll you have, Charlotte?”</p><p>“Oh, could I have the chicken wrap please? And a coffee.”</p><p>The food arrived and she tucked in hungrily. “Sorry,” she said, wiping her mouth, “Esther’s been cooking for me for the last month and I seem to be turning into a vegetarian. My dad would be appalled.” She grinned.</p><p>Sidney laughed. “She looks after you then?”</p><p>“Yes, like a mum really. She’s still a bit cross with you, you know.”</p><p>He looked down at his sandwich. “Sorry. Did you tell her any of the stuff, you know, about the photo and that?”</p><p>“Yeah, there was a bit of time after Brad left this morning. We’re working on a plan.”</p><p>“Really? Spill the beans, then.”</p><p>“No,” replied Charlotte, “you’ll just have to wait and see.”</p><p>“So, you get much sleep last night? Did the earplugs work?” He grinned.</p><p>“Actually, I didn’t hear a sound,” replied Charlotte. “Slept till morning. I see Bradley didn’t make it for his bike ride though?”</p><p>“No,” grinned Sidney, “we might go for a ride tomorrow. In fact, he said they were talking half the night.”</p><p>“Oh,” said Charlotte, thinking of Esther’s red eyes this morning, and how she had hugged Charlotte after Brad had left, with a big smile on her face.</p><p>“She’s had a difficult time in the past, you know. She’s coming to terms with it, but she still finds it hard to trust people. I guess she’s been telling him about it.”</p><p>“What kind of thing?” asked Sidney, concerned.</p><p>“Well,” continued Charlotte, “I don’t want to say too much, but basically, she was abused. By her stepbrother.”</p><p>“Oh my god,” blanched Sidney, swallowing. “How old was she?”</p><p>“12 or 13. But it went on for years.”</p><p>“Shit,” was all he said, thinking of Jenny, who had just turned 11 and was due to start secondary school later that year. “That doesn’t bear thinking about.”</p><p>“I know,” said Charlotte sadly. “Makes me feel so lucky. You think... you think Brad can cope with all that? I’d hate to see her hurt.”</p><p>Sidney leaned back in his chair. “Yeah, I reckon so. He has broad shoulders. People don’t often take much notice of him, you know, he blends into the crowd a bit. But once you get to know him, he’s a real laugh. And I’d trust him with my life.”</p><p>“That’s good,” smiled Charlotte, finishing her sandwich. “What about your other friend, Frank, isn’t it?”</p><p>“Oh, Frank the wanker banker. Sorry,” he laughed, “that’s what we call him. He’s a good guy really, but he can be a bit of a wanker. He’s still living it up in London. He took Brad out and about after he split up with his girlfriend, but Brad doesn’t really fit in with his crowd. I don’t see him much any more to be honest, I suppose my life changed after I came back to Sanditon. He doesn’t drink as much as he used to, but I feel like one day he’s going to come crashing down to earth.”</p><p>“Well you’ll be there when he does, won’t you?”</p><p>“Yeah, I guess. He was good to me after... you know... the divorce.” He looked down. He hadn’t wanted to talk about that. Charlotte noticed his change in mood.</p><p>“So where are we going next, Mr Parker?” she asked brightly.</p><p>“Well,” he said sheepishly, “somewhere where we won’t bump into too many students, I guess.”</p><p> </p><p>They walked along the seafront esplanade together, holding hands. It was relatively deserted in February, but there were a few people walking their dogs. Suddenly, Sidney halted. Up ahead, he could see a short, squat, elderly woman waddling along with three small terriers on leads. A rotund man of a similar age was walking next to her.</p><p>“Shit, Charlotte, it’s Mrs D. Quick!”</p><p>He pushed Charlotte towards the railings and ducked under, then leaped down onto the pebbles below.</p><p>“Come on!”</p><p>She laughed. “I can’t jump down there, it’s too far.”</p><p>“Yes you can. Come on, I’ll catch you.” He stood, grinning, holding his arms out.</p><p>Oh god, she thought. Now he’s turned into Captain Wentworth. Good. I like a bit of Captain Wentworth. Courage, Charlotte. And she leapt down into his arms.</p><p>Giggling, they huddled beneath the concrete wall. “Sidney, you’re crazy,” she laughed.</p><p>“Sssh, let me see if she’s gone.” He peeped up over the parapet. “All clear. Come on, let’s go and skim stones.”</p><p> </p><p>After spending a while throwing stones, they sat down by the shoreline together, looking out to sea. She sat between his legs and he held her from behind, inhaling the scent of her hair. They talked and talked, about their families, their childhoods, their friends. He told her some more about his parents and what it had been like growing up in Sanditon; she told him about her large family and how it was sometimes hard to get her parents’ attention.</p><p>Sidney didn’t ever remember feeling this happy. This beautiful young woman wanted to be with him, and only him. She didn’t seem to mind his faults. And she had forgiven him his stubborn pig-headedness or misguided chivalry, trying to keep secrets from her.</p><p>“So, do you want children then?” he suddenly asked. He wasn’t really sure where it had come from, but it was out now.</p><p>She giggled. “Sidney, is that a proposition or something? We haven’t even had sex yet.”</p><p>He leaned in closer and kissed her ear. “We have plenty of time. I didn’t mean with me specifically, just like, in general.”</p><p>She blushed. “Well, yeah, I think so. One day. I don’t want six though. My mum never seemed to have time for anything else. I still want to have a career and everything.”</p><p>“Two or three max, then. Sounds good.” He kissed her on the cheek.</p><p>“Sidney, you said it was a general question!” This line of talk was doing something very strange to her insides. And yet, somehow, she didn’t mind his presumption.</p><p>“What about you?” she asked shyly.</p><p>“I’d love to,” he replied softly. “I know I said I like handing the kids back at the end of the weekend, but the house always seems a bit quiet after they’ve gone. I almost miss them. Yeah, I’d like to have my own one day, if it’s possible. I guess I just need to meet the right woman.”</p><p>She turned to face him and he grinned. “What?”</p><p>“Nothing. Come here.” She kissed him deeply, after which they sat silently again, looking out to sea, him holding her close.</p><p>“Um.. Charlotte,” he ventured.</p><p>“Yes?” she replied dreamily.</p><p>“You know all that stuff I told you last night, about the women I’d slept with and so on. I hope that didn’t... put you off. Perhaps I shouldn’t have been so direct, maybe it was the wine talking. And it was a long time ago.”</p><p>“It’s okay,” she replied, reaching back and stroking his hair. “I was a little surprised, I guess. I don’t think my previous boyfriends were quite so... adventurous. As long as you were careful and you didn’t hurt anyone, I suppose that’s all that matters.”</p><p>“Yeah, I was mostly careful,” he mumbled.</p><p>“Mostly?” She turned round to look at him.</p><p>He looked down, embarrassed. "Look, I err… well you know, once or twice, maybe I wasn’t that careful. But I’ve been checked out and um… I haven’t been with anyone in well over a year.”</p><p>"Okay," she said hesitantly. "That's been a while then.” Blimey, she thought. For someone so secretive, he’s suddenly letting everything out in the open. “Look, I'm not on the pill or anything..."</p><p>He squeezed her hand. "Of course, I understand.” There was a slight pause.</p><p>He looked up, smiling. “I wasn't very careful with my first girlfriend either. We were only 15 and we didn’t really think about it. Diana found out and she gave me a right earful, threatened to tell mum. She marched me down the clinic and got me a huge box of condoms.” He laughed, thinking back to the memory.</p><p>Charlotte laughed too. “She sounds like a good sister.” There was a pause. “I was 17, by the way,” she added. “We’d already been going out for over a year.”</p><p>“Wow,” said Sidney, “he was patient.”</p><p>“He was lovely, actually,” she said. “My first love, I suppose you could say. Adam. But we split up before I went to uni.”</p><p>There was another pause. “I don’t think I’ve ever really been in love,” said Sidney, somewhat sadly.</p><p>“Surely you have,” laughed Charlotte. “You were married, after all.”</p><p>He shrugged. “I don’t think I was even in love with her. If you met her, you’d probably understand why.”</p><p>He turned towards her, placing one hand on her cheek. “The truth is, I don’t think I’ve ever been in love with anyone as much as you. I... I love you, Charlotte.”</p><p>Tears came to Charlotte’s eyes, but she had no idea what to say. So she kissed him. Wrapping his arms around her, he returned her kisses passionately. She fell back onto the pebbles and suddenly he was above her, in his long black coat, kissing her, his hand cradling the back of her head. His other hand trailed down to her legs, stroking her thighs through her jeans. Breaking away for an instant, he looked deep into her eyes, smiling softly.</p><p>She swallowed. “I love you too, Sidney.” He shook his head in disbelief, looking away down the beach. “I mean it,” she said. “Come here.”</p><p>He turned back and kissed her again, his passion growing by the instant. He shifted his body so that he was lying right on top of her, gently resting his stomach against hers. He stroked her hair, her waist, her bum, as she clung onto his back tightly. Moving her hands under his coat and onto his jeans, she pulled his bum towards her, inhaling sharply as she felt him pressing against her thighs. He let out a low groan.</p><p>“Ouch!” she cried.</p><p>“What’s up, Charlotte?” He sprang up, concerned.</p><p>She laughed. “Nothing. I’ve got a great big bloody pebble stuck in my back, that’s all!”</p><p>He laughed and pulled her up by the hand. “I guess this isn’t really the ideal place.”</p><p>“No,” she giggled. “Not exactly comfortable.” It was starting to go dark.</p><p>They stood up and looked out to sea, arms around each other. “Charlotte... will you come back to my house tonight? After the restaurant?” he asked quietly.</p><p>She looked at him shyly. “You know, I’m still...”</p><p>“Yes I know,” he said. “I don’t care. We don’t have to do anything. I would just give anything... to hold you all night, wake up with you in the morning. Please. And I still owe you a bacon sandwich, remember?”</p><p>She laughed. “I’d forgotten about that. Yes, okay. I’d love to. You sure you can control yourself, though?” she smiled flirtatiously.</p><p>“I’ll do my best,” he said, focusing on the horizon. “What’s another week or so?”</p><p>“Don’t worry,” she said, moving closer and whispering in his ear, “there are other things we can do.”</p><p>He turned to look at her, surprised and delighted all at once.</p><p>“Come on,” she said, “it’s getting cold. Let’s go back.”</p><p> </p><p>They walked back to Charlotte’s flat, holding hands in the gloom of the February twilight, not really saying much. They didn’t need to. When they reached her front door, Sidney turned and smiled.</p><p>“Thanks for a lovely afternoon, Charlotte.”</p><p>She smiled back. “Thank you. Are you going home then?”</p><p>“Yeah, I’ll go have a shower, get changed. Be back around 7.30. We’re eating at 8, right?”</p><p>She nodded. “Sidney...?”</p><p>“What is it?”</p><p>“Shall I... dress up a bit?”</p><p>He laughed. “Why are you asking me? You know you look good in anything.”</p><p>“I just wanted to make an effort, that’s all.” She looked slightly embarrassed. “I bought a new dress a couple of weeks ago and... it would be nice to wear it. But not if everyone else is in jeans.”</p><p>“Charlotte.” He drew her towards him and kissed her forehead. “I would love to see you in a dress. Or without a dress, even. I’m not fussy.”</p><p>She smiled, relieved. “See you later then.”</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>You’ve got a friend – Carole King (1971)</p><p>Persuasion, Jane Austen (1817)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0037"><h2>37. Saturday night</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A double date followed by Sidney and Charlotte's first night together. There are explicit descriptions, but I hope it's tasteful...</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>Sidney rang the bell at 7.30 and Charlotte opened the door to him. His jaw dropped. She was wearing a dark blue, knee-length dress. It covered her whole body, but it was off the shoulder on one side, revealing her upper arm and part of her back. The dress shaped her curves perfectly. Her legs were sheathed in shiny black tights and she wore low heels. Her hair had been styled – styled! – to fall to one side, tumbling onto her shoulders, and she wore a small amount of eye make-up and lipstick. It took him quite some time to take all this in.</p><p>“Does it not suit me?” she asked shyly. “Don't you like it?”</p><p>He laughed in disbelief. “Like it? I love it, Charlotte. You look beautiful. Come here.” He pulled her towards him and kissed her.</p><p>“Come on, we’re just waiting for Brad. Esther’s nearly ready.” She took his hand and they went through to the kitchen.</p><p> </p><p>Vincenzo’s was busy as usual and the four friends were squeezed onto a table in the corner. It was a fun evening, with plenty of good food and wine, although Sidney only had a glass or so as he was driving. Charlotte left her glass relatively untouched too. Her mind often seemed to be elsewhere, her gaze focused on the distance. Occasionally, she even nodded and spoke to herself.</p><p>“Charlotte, are you okay?” asked Bradley, grinning. “Still got a touch of fever from the other day?”</p><p>“Oh sorry,” she replied, coming back down to earth. “I’m just thinking about the best way to get Clara on board, that’s all.”</p><p>“On board with what?”</p><p>“Our plan, of course. I’m going to need your help, Esther.”</p><p>“Sure,” said Esther. “I’m quite an expert in this kind of thing, after all.”</p><p>Bradley shrugged. “I have no idea what you two are talking about.”</p><p>“Don’t worry,” said Esther. “Just sorting out Sidney’s mess, that’s all. You’ll find out.”</p><p>Sidney looked down, embarrassed, and Charlotte squeezed his hand reassuringly under the table. He squeezed her hand back. As they ate and chatted, he let one hand rest on her knee. His fingers gently walked up the inside of her leg, stopping about halfway up her thigh, where they rested, stroking the sheeny fabric of her tights, almost absent-mindedly.</p><p>"Stop it," she said quietly, at a moment when Esther and Brad were busy gazing into each other's eyes.</p><p>Moving his mouth close to her ear he whispered, "Why, don't you like it?"</p><p>"I like it too much,” she whispered back.</p><p>He removed his hand, but a few minutes later, he felt a light pressure from hers. Right on his upper thigh. Between his thighs in fact, perilously close to his most sensitive area. Trying to concentrate on what Brad was saying about his latest court case, Sidney moved her hand further down his leg, towards his knee. A short while later, she moved it back up again. He moved it down again. She moved it back up and started to giggle.</p><p>Sidney put his arm around her and drew her close, kissing her forehead. "Behave yourself in public, please Miss Heywood," he laughed.</p><p>Just then, an elderly woman came tottering past their table on her way back from the Ladies. She paused, squinting at them as she passed.</p><p>“Mr Parker. How nice to see you out enjoying yourself.”</p><p>Sidney’s ears turned bright red.</p><p>“Good evening, Mrs Denham. Are you having a nice meal?”</p><p>“Yes, thank you. Although the lasagne’s a bit rich, I find. You know, I’m sure I saw you on the seafront this afternoon.” Her mouth twitched. “It looked like you were leaping off the wall onto the beach, but that can’t have been you, surely.”</p><p>“I doubt it,” he replied, deadpan. “I was busy working at home, as usual.”</p><p>“I see,” she said, “well, have a nice evening.” She toddled off. She was sure she’d seen that girl somewhere before. She must remember to bring the right glasses next time she went out.</p><p>Once she was safely back at her table, Sidney and Charlotte collapsed into fits of giggles.</p><p> </p><p>**********************************</p><p> </p><p>The car pulled up outside Sidney’s house. He turned the ignition off and everything went silent. He turned and smiled at her. “Okay?”</p><p>“Yeah.” She leaned towards his shoulder and he stroked her hair.</p><p>“Come on.”</p><p>She looked around as they entered the house. “Wow, Sidney, you’ve tidied up.”</p><p>He grinned. “Yeah, I did a bit earlier. Don’t want you to think I’m a slob. You want a drink or something?”</p><p>“No, not really,” she said, “maybe some water.” They went in the kitchen and he passed her a glass.</p><p>“Can I use the loo please?” she asked nervously.</p><p>“Course you can. Come on, let’s go upstairs.” He put his hand on her back in that reassuring, yet sexy way he had and they climbed the stairs.</p><p>“Um... I’ll be in here.” He nodded towards the bedroom. She disappeared inside the bathroom.</p><p>Sidney switched on the bedside lamp and sat on the bed, unlacing his shoes. His throat was dry, although he’d only had one glass of wine. He felt surprisingly nervous. He was still removing his shoes when she appeared in front of him.</p><p>“Hi.”</p><p>He looked up, swallowing. She slid towards him on the bed, pushing him back slightly, kneeling in front of him. She began to unbutton his shirt, slowly. He was glad she had decided to be bold because he honestly felt like he didn’t know where to start, as if he had never done this before. Crazy. He wrapped his arms round her waist and rested his head on her stomach, just enjoying the feeling of being close. God, he’d missed this. Rousing himself, he began to kiss the exposed skin on her shoulder and upper arm, running his hands across her back as she did so.</p><p>She lifted his chin with her fingers. “Unzip me please,” she whispered, “at the back.”</p><p>He smiled and reached round. The dress slid down over her shoulders until it was sitting round her waist. She was wearing a lacy black bra and looked more stunning than he’d ever seen her. He tugged at the dress until it fell to the floor. Smiling, he saw she’d already removed her tights. Her matching black knickers sat snugly around her hips. She had definitely lost a bit of weight, but she was still beautifully curvaceous. He buried his head on her stomach again as she ran her fingers through his hair.</p><p>She pushed him back onto the bed and, pulling his shirt off his shoulders and kneeling between his legs, began kissing his chest, her hair tickling him as she did so. Her kisses trailed down to his navel, just above his belt. She stopped, looking up at him uncertainly.</p><p>“Charlotte...” He could sense her nervousness. Holding her round the waist, he rolled her over so that she was underneath him. Then he stood up and unbuckled his belt, admiring her all the while. His trousers and – thank god – his socks came off and he stood there for a moment, hands on hips, looking down at her.</p><p>“Take them off too,” she whispered naughtily. So he did. She smiled admiringly. Blushing slightly, she sat up and removed her bra. He moved towards her on the bed and, both kneeling, they kissed and caressed each other with increasing passion. Falling backwards, they rolled around, laughing, kissing some more. Sidney held her tight, so tight she could hardly breathe, burying his face in her hair.</p><p>“God, I’ve missed you,” he said, choked. “I’m so sorry for hurting you.”</p><p>“Stop it,” she replied, kissing him and stroking his stubble, as she wrapped her legs tightly around his broad thigh, pressing her breasts into his chest. She began to moan a little as she rubbed herself on his leg, and he was so hard he didn’t quite know what to do about it. Damn, what was it he had said about just lying there all night, holding each other? That wasn’t exactly happening. He wasn’t quite sure which move to make next or exactly what she wanted him to do. He could think of a few things he would like, but didn’t quite know how to ask her.</p><p>Fortunately, she decided for him. She began to kiss his chest again, her head moving slowly down. As she did so, she touched his cock, gently at first, then with more confidence. Gasping with pleasure, he shut his eyes tight. Running her hand over his soft hair, she gently stroked his balls. Then she went right down. Opening his eyes, he watched her in wonder. Grasping her head in his hands, he stroked her hair gently. His grip became tighter, as he threw back his throat, groaning with pleasure. She was gently licking and kissing him, running her tongue up and down his shaft, her fingers fluttering against his balls as she did so. Then she took him right in her mouth. Sidney thought he must have died and gone to heaven.</p><p>A few minutes later, he laid on his back, stunned and speechless. She stayed down there for some time, resting her head on his stomach, gently stroking and kissing his cock, not saying anything. Then she climbed up the bed towards him, smiling cheekily, her lovely breasts brushing against him. She leaned her arms on his chest, her chin on top.</p><p>“You’re not saying much. Was it okay?”</p><p>He laughed in disbelief. “Was it okay? Seriously, Charlotte, you’re asking me if that was okay?”</p><p>“Well, yeah.” She grinned, licking her lips. “Kind of salty. Like the sea.”</p><p>He laughed. Come here. Holding her head in his hands, he kissed her deeply. “Now I definitely know you are the perfect woman, Charlotte Heywood.” She laid her head on his chest.</p><p>Sidney could sense himself dozing off. Rousing himself and shifting slightly to the side, he began to stroke Charlotte’s breasts. His thumb and finger gently tweaked one of her nipples. “Mmm, that’s nice,” she murmured.</p><p>Walking his fingers downwards, stroking her stomach, he arrived at the waistband of her knickers, where he paused. She didn’t react. His fingers inched underneath and began to stroke her hair. She murmured again, shifting her body closer to him. Edging further down, he put his whole hand inside her knickers, reaching right round to the back and gently stroking her arse.  His hand rocked backwards and forwards, his palm rubbing her and his thumb stroking her most sensitive area. She moaned again. “Sidney...”</p><p>“It’s okay,” he whispered. “I just want to return the favour. Can I?” She nodded.</p><p>He moved on top of her and kissed her breasts, pulling down her knickers as he did so. His kisses trailed down her stomach and past her navel. He smiled at her beautiful, softly curling hair. Then he placed his head between her legs and began to explore her with his tongue, stroking her thighs and stomach with his hands. As she arched her back, he grabbed her buttocks, burying his head deeper.</p><p>She was gripping his head with her hands, pulling it further into her as she did so, moaning with pleasure. He lost himself inside her, doing whatever felt natural and she seemed to love it. Shortly afterwards, she began arching again and he felt her shudder as she came into his mouth. She relaxed her grip on his hair and he lay with his head on her thighs, inhaling her beautiful scent. After a few minutes, he raised his head and shifted his body on top of her, kissing her mouth gently. He paused to look at her.</p><p>“So, was that okay?”</p><p>“Sidney,” she stroked his cheek. “What do you think? That was amazing.” They both smiled. "No one's ever... um... done that before."</p><p>"What, never?" he laughed in disbelief.</p><p>"I mean... when I've been on. Is it weird?" She wrinkled up her nose.</p><p>"No, not at all. Maybe I'm the weird one," he laughed.</p><p>He lay down beside her, stroking her stomach. "You know, we could um... try it, if you like. Up to you."</p><p>She glanced down at his cock. He was certainly ready. She hesitated. "Maybe not this time. Is that okay? Do you want me to um... ?" She touched him lightly with the tips of her fingers.</p><p>"No, no, Charlotte, don't worry. It's fine." He kissed her. "I love you."</p><p>"I love you too," she replied, full of emotion.</p><p>He took her in his arms and, nuzzling each other’s necks, they drifted off to sleep.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>As I said before, I hadn't really thought about the sex consequences when she started her period earlier that week, but I like the fact he's cool about it...</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0038"><h2>38. Easy like Sunday morning</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>In the kitchen on Sunday morning... Sidney is feeling a little frisky...</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>When Charlotte awoke the next morning, the sun was streaming in through the curtains and she could hear the sound of birds chirping in the garden. It made a nice change from the seagulls that constantly squawked on the roof of her seafront flat. She stretched out luxuriously in the large double bed. Where was Sidney? Sitting up abruptly, she could hear clinking sounds from the kitchen below and relaxed back onto the pillows, smiling. It was a long time since she’d felt so... delicious. She’d been a little surprised at her own boldness, but she just couldn’t resist him. He’d certainly seemed to enjoy it. And then he’d surprised her by doing one of her favourite things, simply and naturally, without making a fuss. He was most definitely not a disappointment. And there would surely only be better things to come...</p><p>She needed the loo though. Trying to remember where she had left her bag, so she could change her tampon, she jumped out of bed and realised she had nothing to wear, apart from her dress, discarded on the floor along with all their other clothes. Apart from that, the room was relatively tidy, but there was a large heap of men’s clothes piled onto a chair. She quickly picked up one of his T-shirts, popped it over her head and went to the bathroom. As she emerged, she could hear him in the kitchen again, so she crept downstairs quietly in her bare feet.</p><p> </p><p>“Hi,” she said simply. He was stirring a pot of tea, dressed only in a T-shirt and boxer shorts.</p><p>He spun round and gave her a broad smile. “Good morning, beautiful.” Oh god, he thought, I’m being cheesy again. So what, she is beautiful.</p><p>“I didn’t want to wake you,” he continued. “You looked so peaceful lying there.” He had lain watching her for a long time before getting up, unable to believe his luck. He gazed at her, standing there shyly in his oversized T-shirt.</p><p>“I see you found something to wear,” he grinned.</p><p>“Yes,” she replied. “You tidied up the bedroom too, didn’t you?”</p><p>“How do you know that?” he enquired, raising an eyebrow.</p><p>“Oh,” she laughed, slightly embarrassed, “I may have had a little look that other time I came round.”</p><p>“Did you now?” He moved towards her and took her in his arms. Kissing her passionately, he grabbed her arse, surprised to find that it was bare. God, he wanted her right now, up against the kitchen counter. He broke away and turned his back, getting some mugs out, ready to pour the tea.</p><p>“Sidney...” she said nervously, “is something wrong?”</p><p>“No, not at all.” He turned to face her, handing her a mug. “It’s just... I find you totally irresistible – sorry, I know I’m cheesy but I can’t help it. I mean, I loved what you did last night – I absolutely loved it – but... I really, really want you.” He looked down, embarrassed.</p><p>There was a pause.</p><p>“Can you wait until next weekend?” she whispered.</p><p>He raised his head. “Next weekend? Of course. But can’t we see each other before then?”</p><p>“Well, yes of course. I meant...”</p><p>“Let me check my diary,” he smiled, looking at his phone.</p><p>“Oh shit,” he said, “I promised to have the kids. Tom and Mary – they have a counselling session Friday afternoon and then they want to go out for a meal or something, if it goes well. Diana’s working all weekend and it’s not fair to ask Susan. But I can get rid of them on Saturday if you like.”</p><p>“Yes, you said we could go to the park. I’d like that.”</p><p>“Okay, but we could have Saturday night. Just for us.” He smiled softly. “What’s the matter, Charlotte? You look a bit freaked out.”</p><p>“Nothing,” she said. “It just feels a bit weird. Like we’re making an appointment or something.”</p><p>He laughed. “Don’t be silly. Come here.”</p><p>He took her in his arms and breathed in her scent. “I love you Charlotte, remember. I just want to spend time with you. There’s no pressure.”</p><p>She cuddled him tightly. “Can we see each other in the week then? I have loads of marking to catch up on today, so I’d better get home soon. Maybe one evening this week?”</p><p>He checked his diary again. “Oh god, I forgot, I have a two-day course in Horsham, Wednesday and Thursday. Senior management training. Not going to be around that much at school. But I could come round and see you tomorrow night maybe, after my Governor's meeting?”</p><p>“Okay.” She laid her head on his shoulder. “Sidney... I really did enjoy last night, you know.”</p><p>“I guessed as much.” He grinned. “So did I, Charlotte. You are a most surprising woman.”</p><p>They kissed gently, then more passionately. He was hungry for her. As he leaned back against the counter, he pulled her towards him, grabbing her arse. She could feel his cock straining through his shorts. He stopped, sighing heavily.</p><p>“Just stay there,” she whispered.</p><p>“What? Charlotte,” he gasped as she knelt down on the floor, pulling at his shorts. He gripped the sides of the counter tightly as she took him in her mouth once again. It was totally exquisite.</p><p>Afterwards, he pulled her up to her feet and held her closely against him, stroking and kissing her hair. “You didn’t have to do that, you know.”</p><p>“I know. I wanted to do it.” She kissed him, smiling.</p><p>Just then, her stomach began to rumble.</p><p>“Was that you?” he laughed.</p><p>“I’m waiting for my bacon sandwich, remember? I think I deserve it.”</p><p>Laughing and kissing her again, he began to root around in the fridge for some food.</p><p> </p><p>*******************************************</p><p> </p><p>After dropping Charlotte off at her flat and kissing her tenderly at the door, Sidney picked up Brad and they drove back to Sidney’s house. He had a lot of work to catch up on too, having spent the last two days either with or thinking about Charlotte, but he’d promised his friend a bike ride and felt the need for a good chat. Both their lives had changed quite dramatically in the last few weeks.</p><p>It was sunny but cold, as they rode over the Downs together, Bradley doing his best to keep up. Sidney slowed down on the crest of a hill to wait for him, stopping to admire the view and have a drink of water. Bradley eventually came puffing up behind him, stopped and leaned over the handlebars, exhausted.</p><p>“Jesus, I need to work on my stamina, don’t I?”</p><p>“Yeah, you could say that.” Sidney grinned. “Did she keep you up all night again?”</p><p>“Only twice last night.” Bradley smirked, a little proudly. “But we were up late the previous night, just talking...”</p><p>“Yes, I heard about that,” said Sidney. “Charlotte mentioned it. So I guess she told you... all about her past.”</p><p>“You know?” asked Bradley, surprised.</p><p>“Not really. Only something about her stepbrother.”</p><p>“Yes,” said Bradley, “I’ve a good mind to find that George Wickham and sort him out once and for all.” He gripped the handlebars angrily.</p><p>“Maybe some things are best left in the past, Brad. She seems to be coming to terms with it. And... she’s happy now. She seems to really like you. Christ knows why.” He grinned.</p><p>“Thanks, mate. I really like her. More than like, actually.”</p><p>“I’m happy for you. Really.” The two friends smiled at each other.</p><p>“So how’s Charlotte, then?” enquired Bradley, raising an eyebrow. “I didn’t see that one coming. Thought all hope was lost.”</p><p>“I never lost hope,” said Sidney, looking serious now. “I didn’t want to split up with her, you know. I was threatened by one of the other teachers at school, Edward. He said he’d go to the head and say I’d been exploiting the staff. The head also happens to be his aunt. He even... had a compromising photo of us.”</p><p>“What?” cried Bradley. “So is that what they’re going on about, this plot they’re cooking up together?”</p><p>“Yeah. There’s another teacher, Clara, she’s been seeing Edward. It’s complicated.”</p><p>“Shit, I hope you can sort it out, mate. You and Charlotte look so happy together. And she is rather gorgeous.”</p><p>“Yep,” said Sidney dreamily, looking off into the distance.</p><p>“So what happened last night then, Sid? You going to tell me?”</p><p>“Nope.”</p><p>“Come on. You spent the night together.”</p><p>“Yes, but we didn’t... oh, never mind. Can I keep it to myself? Let’s just say she’s a very special woman.”</p><p>“Sure man,” said Bradley gently, patting him on the shoulder. “Come on. Race you down. I’m much better on the downhill.”</p><p>They mounted their bikes and sped off.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Easy (like Sunday morning) – Lionel Richie and the Commodores (1977)</p><p>Yeah, I know it's a song about a break up, but it's still a great song for a Sunday morning!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0039"><h2>39. A ghost from the past</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>So the last chapters provoked some interesting reactions… As I said before, to me it’s just part of the story, everyone’s different and likes different things, that’s fine, I’m not on any sort of mission, although I think we could sometimes be more relaxed about normal bodily functions… (if anyone’s interested, a good book came out last year called Period by Emma Barnett. She’s a news journalist who is definitely on a mission to break down taboos!) I’ve never written this kind of thing before so I’m not sure if I’m always getting it right, but I like to keep things real and try to avoid clichés, if possible. Anyway I promise we will get back to the bedroom before too long (without periods!) but for now, we have to crack on with the story…</p><p>Charlotte and Esther are having a chat, when an unexpected visitor turns up… this is Clara’s story and so there is some past trauma in it.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>Charlotte was sitting dreamily at the kitchen table, attempting to mark her books, but not doing a very good job of it. It was incredible to think how much had changed in the last week. Only last Saturday she’d been crying into her pillow, trying not to listen to Esther and Bradley having sex; last night she’d been in Sidney’s bed, exploring his magnificent body. And what would next weekend bring?</p><p>It had felt a bit weird though. The way he’d checked his diary to see when he could fit her in. The way he’d almost made it sound like he didn’t want to have another date until she was able to have sex with him. She pushed those thoughts from her mind. He wasn’t that kind of guy. He’d told her he loved her; he’d practically asked her to have children with him. Surely he wasn’t just buttering her up again... Shut up, Charlotte, she thought. He’s not some 22 year old trying to get you into bed, he’s a 36 year old man with a busy life and lots of responsibilities. She carried on with her work.</p><p>Shortly afterwards, Esther came back from her run and they had lunch together. Esther quizzed her a little about the previous night, but she didn’t pry. She was happy that Charlotte was happy.</p><p> </p><p>“Now then, Charlotte,” she said in a businesslike manner. “What are we going to do about Clara?”</p><p>“Well, I’ve been thinking,” replied Charlotte, sipping her tea, “all we really need her to do is get hold of Edward’s phone when he isn’t there and delete that one photo. At least, I hope there’s only one photo. If he ever notices it’s gone, he’ll just think he’s accidentally deleted it or something, surely?”</p><p>“Makes you wonder if his wife ever goes through his phone, doesn’t it?” said Esther, raising an eyebrow.</p><p>“Exactly! Just imagine – erm, darling, why do you have a photo of two people...” she stopped, embarrassed.</p><p>“Don’t worry, Charlotte.” Esther placed a hand on her arm. “Even if Clara still wants to stay with Edward – I expect she will, she must be under his spell – hopefully she’ll have the good sense to do that for you. After all, she seemed to recognise that he had it wrong about you, and she knows you’re in love with Sidney.”</p><p>“Am I?” asked Charlotte musingly.</p><p>“What?” said Esther, surprised. “You said you were.”</p><p>“Oh, it doesn’t matter,” replied Charlotte, shaking her head. “I'm being silly. He’s really lovely, it's just the sex thing has become a bit complicated. We've been waiting so long, it almost seems to be a bit of an issue somehow. And now I'm on my period and I... I don't really like doing it when I'm heavy, but I feel as if he's a little impatient." She frowned.</p><p>“Oh Charlotte. Of course he wants to sleep with you darling, what red-blooded male wouldn’t, but that doesn’t mean that’s all he’s interested in. He clearly adores you. Look at me and Bradley – I slept with him before I even knew his surname,” she laughed, “and he’s the kindest, sweetest man I’ve ever met.”</p><p>“Esther,” Charlotte said quietly, a little embarrassed, “He’s slept with a lot of women though. Mostly when he was younger, but still…”</p><p>Esther’s mouth twitched. “How many?”</p><p>“Around 40, he said.”</p><p>“Really, Charlotte, that’s not so bad,” she smiled, amused. “Come on, he’s in his mid-thirties and he wasn’t married for long. And she sounds like a right witch, enough to send any man running into someone else’s arms. Honestly, I’ve slept with way more people than Bradley, I’m sure, but it really doesn’t matter. He’s the most caring, least selfish lover I’ve ever had.” She sighed dreamily.</p><p>“Yes, I know, I’m overthinking things. It’s just… he said he hasn’t done it for over a year,” – Esther’s eyes widened – “and neither have I. And the first time, you want it to be kind of perfect, don’t you?”</p><p>“Charlotte, that’s all in your head. Most men are pretty straightforward you know, they don’t care about having perfect sex, they just want sex.” She burst out laughing and Charlotte laughed back.</p><p>“Yeah, I guess you’re right.” She frowned. “James used to want me to dress up though, I don’t mean weird stuff, just sexy underwear and so on, things he’d bought me. I felt like I was acting a part sometimes.”</p><p>Esther smiled reassuringly. “I’ve never seen the point of all that expensive underwear, it doesn’t stay on long, does it? And you really think Sidney cares about that? Come on. He likes you muddy and sweaty in a football kit, drenched from the rain, in your pyjamas. I daresay he likes you best in absolutely no clothes at all. Don’t worry. It’ll happen when it happens. And I’m sure it won’t be a disappointment.”</p><p>Charlotte grinned. “Yeah, you’re right. Anyway, back to Clara. I’ll talk to her on Tuesday after Drama Club. I’ll ask her to give me a lift home again.”</p><p> </p><p>Just then the doorbell rang. “Who can that be?” pondered Esther, moving towards the intercom.</p><p>A pause. “Yes, please come up.”</p><p>“Charlotte,” she said. “Speak of the devil. It’s Clara.”</p><p>Charlotte got up and opened the door. “Hi Clara, come in. Please, take off your coat.”</p><p>Clara was looking pale and drawn, her translucent white skin contrasting with her luminous blue eyes. Her ash blonde hair was drawn back tightly in a chignon. Small and slight, she reminded Charlotte of a tragic ballerina.</p><p>“Clara, this is my flatmate, Esther.” Clara looked at Esther and Esther looked at Clara. Esther shuddered. She felt like she’d seen her somewhere before. Clara, however, showed no such recognition.</p><p>“Charlotte, I wanted to talk to you,” she said quietly, nervously rolling the sleeves of her lilac sweater with her fingers. “I wanted to apologise.” She turned those large luminous eyes on Charlotte again.</p><p>“Sure,” said Charlotte, touching her arm. “Why don’t we... go through to the living room?”</p><p>“How about I make you a cup of tea?” smiled Esther brightly.</p><p>“Thanks,” Clara nodded.</p><p>The two women went through to the living room and sat on the sofa, some distance apart. Charlotte waited patiently. She didn’t want to rush her.</p><p>“I’ve been thinking about what you said,” she ventured nervously, “about... about Edward making things up. Things about you. Not just things about you. About the gaslighting. I looked it up.”</p><p>Charlotte nodded.</p><p>“Well,” continued Clara, “I think you’re right. I’m starting to think it’s all been one big illusion. I thought he cared for me, but then why would he make up lies about you? Why would he need to do that?”</p><p>“Clara,” asked Charlotte, “how long have you been seeing Edward?”</p><p>“Since before last summer. I’ve only been at the school a year longer than you. He didn’t pay me much attention at first, then last spring, we started getting closer, sharing lifts – I didn’t have a car then. He used to tell me how beautiful my playing was. Sometimes he’d come along to the music rooms and listen to me playing the piano or cello. One day, while I was playing the cello, he started... touching my leg.”</p><p>Esther was hovering in the doorway with the tea.</p><p>“Clara,” said Charlotte, “do you mind if Esther stays to listen?”</p><p>Clara looked surprised. “Look, Esther’s much more experienced with… relationships than me. She’s training to be a counsellor in fact. She might be able to help you if there’s something you need to work out.”</p><p>“I promise that what you say won’t go any further than this room,” Esther said solemnly.</p><p>“Well, okay,” said Clara uncertainly. “If you think it will help.”</p><p>“Did you know he was married?” asked Charlotte.</p><p>“Not at first, no. Not until... well, until we were quite close. He got a call one day and it was obvious it was his wife. But he told me that she was boring and dowdy, that they never had sex any more, she was only interested in the children. He told me I was so much more interesting and creative, much more beautiful. Ethereal was the word he used.” She sighed.</p><p>“I felt like I was under his spell. He was so complimentary about my playing, about my looks. I didn’t know many people in Sanditon and I find it hard to go out and make friends.”</p><p>“So what went wrong?” asked Esther.</p><p>“What do you mean?” said Clara, puzzled.</p><p>“I mean... when did he start going in the other direction, telling you you’re no good, nobody else likes you, he’s the only one that appreciates you?”</p><p>“How did you know?” asked Clara, aghast.</p><p>“Let’s just say I have experience.”</p><p>Clara paused, looking down at her lap and fiddling with her sleeves again. “During the summer holidays. I wanted to see him more often and he couldn’t. He got angry a few times because I called him at home. And then last term, up to Christmas, it got worse. One minute he was adoring, the next... quite spiteful. And of course, he kept talking about Charlotte.”</p><p>“What, a lot?” asked Charlotte, frowning.</p><p>“Yes, actually,” said Clara, looking her right in the eye. “I think he was a little obsessed with you. Perhaps he was trying to make me jealous. But he told me he’d rejected your advances, that you were a... well, I told you the other day. I’m sorry.”</p><p>“Clara, I never ever made any advances to him.”</p><p>“I know that now.” She put her head in her hands and began to cry quietly. “Oh my god, the thing is, I’ve done this before.”</p><p>There was a pause as Charlotte put her arm round her.</p><p>“I’ll go and get some more tea and biscuits,” said Esther. “Or would you perhaps like something stronger Clara?”</p><p>“No, tea is fine,” she replied, dabbing at her eyes with a tissue Charlotte gave her.</p><p>After their tea cups had been refreshed, she began a long story about a professor at music college. An older man, a married man. Who had encouraged her talent and lavished praise on her, then made a pass at her. Who made her feel special for a while but then began to blow hot and cold, praising her one minute, putting her down the next. Saying she’d never make it in the music world without his help. But always running home to his wife and family, never there when she really needed him. How she’d felt cut off from the rest of the students, isolated.</p><p>“So how did it end?” asked Charlotte.</p><p>“I got pregnant.”</p><p>Charlotte gasped. “And?”</p><p>“He didn’t want to know. He told me to leave him alone and get rid of it. So I did.”</p><p>By this time, both Esther and Charlotte were seated on the sofa next to her, with their arms around her.</p><p>“I’m sorry, Clara,” whispered Charlotte.</p><p>“Clara,” said Esther quietly, “did you ever... I mean, did anything happen to you in your childhood?”</p><p>Clara looked up at her, surprised. “How did you know? Yes, there was an uncle.”</p><p>“Oh my god,” said Charlotte. “How old were you?”</p><p>Clara gave a wry, yet sad, smile. “Too young to know a prick from a pencil.”</p><p> </p><p>After they had talked some more, Charlotte began to tell Clara about the events of the night of the Christmas party, Edward’s threats to Sidney and the photo that Edward had on his phone.</p><p>“So... I was wondering... if there’s any way you could try and get hold of his phone, maybe? And delete the photo? It’s really not what it looks like and, quite frankly, he had no business taking it.”</p><p>Clara paused. “It’s probably on his other phone.”</p><p>“His <em>other</em> phone?”</p><p>“Yes,” she said. “He has two phones, of course. One for every day, and one that his wife doesn’t know about. That’s the one he uses for me. It’s probably on there. He keeps it hidden somewhere in his car.”</p><p>God, thought Charlotte, the deceit some people are capable of. She certainly couldn’t imagine Sidney doing anything like that. But who knew?</p><p>“Is there any way you could get hold of it?”</p><p>“I could certainly try.” Clara nodded. “Listen, Charlotte, Esther, I want to stop this. I don’t want to be with him any more. I don’t want to feel like this all the time, with every man I go out with. I’m sick of it. But... if you need me to get rid of that photo, I’ll work something out, I promise.”</p><p>“No, no,” said Charlotte, frowning, “don’t worry about the photo, please. We’ll think of something else. If you want to end it with him, then that’s what you should do.”</p><p>“It’s okay,” said Clara. “I’d like to help you. I feel I owe it to you really. I could... try and get him to take me to a hotel. He does that occasionally. I don’t know what he says to his wife.” She shrugged. “Don’t worry, I’ll think of a plan.”</p><p>“Well, only if you’re sure,” replied Charlotte uncertainly, “but thank you.”</p><p>“No, thank <em>you</em>. And you, Esther. Where did you say you worked?”</p><p>“Oh, I’m just in training at the moment darling,” smiled Esther. “But if you ever feel you want to... you know... talk in more depth about these things, then I can certainly put you in contact with someone. I know from experience that it really, really helps.”</p><p>“Thank you.”</p><p>A short while afterwards, following many hugs and goodbyes, and an exchange of phone numbers, Clara left.</p><p>“Well, Charlotte, that was a turn up for the books,” smiled Esther.</p><p>“Yes, but Esther,” frowned Charlotte, “how did you know those things about her?”</p><p>“I don’t know, darling,” said Esther quietly. “I almost felt like I’d met her before. It was uncanny.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Later that evening, Charlotte messaged Sidney.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>- Hi there.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Hi gorgeous, had a good day?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Yes, you?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Still working I’m afraid. Busy week ahead. And somebody distracted me the last couple of days. </em>
  <em>😊</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Sorry. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>- I’m not complaining. </em>
  <em>😉</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Listen, the Clara plan is working well.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Really. How so?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- She came round this afternoon. Totally out of the blue. She’s had enough of Edward and she wants to help. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>- That was a sudden conversion!</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Not really. We had a long chat, with Esther too. Turns out Clara’s been through a lot in her life.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- So you were right all along?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- That’s not the point. But she’s going to try and delete the photo.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Phew. I hope she’s careful about it.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Yes, so do I. She said Edward was obsessed with me. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Well... I’m obsessed with you too, you know…</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Please, I don’t like that word.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Sorry. You know what I mean. It just means I think about you all the time. Is that allowed? </em>
  <em>😊</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- </em>
  <em>😊</em>
  <em> OK. But the thought of him makes me retch.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Then don’t think about him. Think about me instead?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Wish you were here. Could do with a hug. </em>
  <em>☹</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Hey. I’ll see you tomorrow.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- You can’t hug me at school. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>- I’ll meet you at the bike sheds </em>
  <em>😉</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Very funny. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>- I’ll come round to see you after my Governors’ meeting tomorrow night. Okay? </em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Okay.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- And we’ll have all next weekend. Well, most of it.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Okay. See you tomorrow. Xxx</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- See you tomorrow. Xxx</em>
</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Fantasia on a Theme by Thomas Tallis (1910)<br/>The Lark Ascending (1914)<br/>by Ralph Vaughan Williams - I just adore these pieces of music and I think they go with Clara's "ethereal" quality.</p><p>I realise I've been very sympathetic to Clara whereas in the series, she's much more devious. But we know she's been treated very badly in the past, so I wanted to explore that...</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0040"><h2>40. The Rec</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>I'm away from home this week so I won't be posting as often, but I'll try and post 2 chapters each time as they are more or less ready. Thanks for all your comments, I really appreciate it!</p><p>A week of ups and downs ending with a play date in the park...</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>It was a strange week. The things that Clara had told them weighed heavily on Charlotte’s mind, and she became increasingly anxious about Edward and how Clara would manage to get his phone off him. She was also disturbed by what Clara had said about Edward’s obsession with her. Why had he taken that photo? If it was for blackmail purposes, why hadn’t he used it? Could there be some other, more sinister reason? She remembered a flash of light when she’d been in the car with Sidney one time. Had he been taking photos then?</p><p>Sidney dropped round on Monday night after his meeting; they had some of Esther’s soup together, and then they laid together on her narrow bed, cuddling and talking. She told him about Clara’s visit the day before and her worries about Edward and his motivations, about what he might do next. Sidney held her and listened, but he didn’t say much.</p><p>“You’re very quiet,” she said, looking up at him. “And you haven’t even kissed me yet.”</p><p>He sighed and kissed her, somewhat absent-mindedly. “I’m sorry. All this stuff… kind of kills the mood a bit, don’t you find? It’s like a cloud hanging over us. We need to get him out of that school. Out of teaching altogether, if possible.”</p><p>“Yes, but how?”</p><p>“You could report him for sexual harassment. Or Clara could.”</p><p>“Hmm, Clara might need a bit of persuasion. And I don’t really have much evidence do I? All he did was make a few comments to me and stare at me a lot. The rest is hearsay.”</p><p>He sat up in the bed, stretching his back. “I’ll speak to my mate John, in Brighton. Find out a bit more about what happened there. The girl was only 17, you know.” He grimaced. “He’s obviously careful enough to keep things the right side of the age of consent.”</p><p>“Still,” said Charlotte, “17 is young. You don’t really know your own mind at that age. And she was a pupil. How come he didn’t get caught?”</p><p>“I don’t know, it was only rumours, she didn’t report anything and her family moved away. The head there had had enough of Edward for various reasons, and managed to put pressure on him to resign, or made his post redundant, I’m not sure which. But there must be some way we can get him, establish a pattern of behaviour and all that.”</p><p>Charlotte was silent, thinking.</p><p>“God,” said Sidney, lying back down and holding her tightly in his arms again, “I don’t understand blokes like that. Why would you want to go for a young girl, or force your attentions on someone? Believe me, Charlotte, I know I was a… bit of a player when I was young, but I could never enjoy it unless the other person was enjoying it too. What’s the point otherwise?”</p><p>“Well,” she replied, smilng and kissing him, “I’m looking forward to enjoying it with you. You could… stay tonight, if you like?” she asked hesitantly.</p><p>“In this bed? I don’t think I’d be able to get up in the morning,” he grimaced. “Look, why don’t you come over to mine on Thursday? After I get back from the course, provided it’s not too late, the A27 can be a nightmare. I could even cook for you.” He smiled.</p><p>“Yeah, that’d be nice.” He drew her to him and kissed her tenderly. Shortly after, he went home.</p><p> </p><p>On Tuesday, after Drama Club, Clara gave Charlotte a lift home and came in for a cup of tea and another long chat with her and Esther. On Wednesday and Thursday Sidney was on his course in Horsham, 40 miles away. During the course he sent her a lot of messages, telling her how boring it was, how he missed her, how all he could do was think about her, asking her what she was doing, what she was wearing. Especially what she was wearing. When she described her underwear one day, he asked her to send a photo, but she refused. Instead she sent a selfie of her face and, to his credit, he told her that had cheered him up no end and he would much rather look at her beautiful face than anything else. After she badgered him, he sent a slightly goofy-looking selfie back.</p><p>Unfortunately, on Thursday night, it was pouring with rain and the traffic was horrendous; he didn’t get home until nearly 9pm and he was knackered. He promised to make it up to her. Mary was going to drop the kids off at Sanditon Head straight after school on Friday and he asked Charlotte if she’d like to come back with them and have dinner. But Charlotte had already arranged to go to the pub with the other teachers, as it was someone’s birthday. She felt a little guilty about that, but she promised to meet them on Saturday in the park.</p><p>In the meantime, Clara had managed to persuade Edward to take her to a hotel in Brighton on Friday night. Charlotte crossed her fingers that the plan would work and told Clara to make sure to phone her if anything went wrong.</p><p>“Are you sure you don’t mind?” she whispered to Clara in the staffroom. “You don’t have to do this, you know.”</p><p>“It’ll be the last time. I feel I owe it to you.” Clara whispered back.</p><p>“Well, make sure you call me as soon as you get out of there.”</p><p> </p><p>Saturday was a bright, sunny day. Unfortunately Charlotte had a slight hangover as the pub session had got quite lively. A group of them had bought fish and chips afterwards and sat on the seafront, eating them in the biting wind. Leon was among the group and hadn’t really talked to her in the pub, but now he was sitting near her and leaned over to ask her a question.</p><p>“Where’s Sidney then, Charlotte? Thought you’d be with him tonight.”</p><p>She blushed. “Oh, he had to pick up his nieces and nephew. I’m seeing him tomorrow.”</p><p>She felt a little guilty. Should she be helping him? As much as she loved the kids, she was having a lot of fun tonight with the younger teachers. She started to wonder if he was in fact too old for her, but pushed that drunken thought out of her mind.</p><p> </p><p>As she approached the entrance to the park on Saturday afternoon and spotted him pushing Henry on the swings, she knew straightaway that all her doubts had been silly and that really, this was the only man for her. It wasn’t too cold and he was wearing a rust brown sweater with a black jacket and his regulation black jeans. He looked a little tired and like he hadn’t been near a razor for several days, but she found that rather sexy. Very sexy in fact.</p><p>He turned to greet her. “Hi,” he said shyly, taking her in. She was dressed in a short, black velvet skirt and a cherry red sweater, with black knee-length boots and a black jacket. She’d even put a little make-up on, including a dash of red lipstick to match her sweater, while her hair was tied in a ponytail to the side. He thought she looked good enough to eat.</p><p>They stood gazing at each other for an instant, smiling. “I’ve missed you,” he whispered.</p><p>“I’ve missed you too.”</p><p>“Come here.” He took her in his arms and, glancing over at the girls, who had taken over pushing Henry on the swing, he gave her a deep kiss. And another one. And another one.</p><p>“Oh Charlotte.” He hugged her tight.</p><p>She laughed. “You’ve got lipstick all over you now. Sorry. Knew that was a bad idea.”</p><p>He wiped his mouth.</p><p>“No, you’ve made it worse.”</p><p>“Kiss it back off me then.” So she did. For an instant he forgot where they were. Some of the other mums and dads in the park were looking at them, some with slight disgust, others with evident envy.</p><p>“Come on, we’d better attend to our children,” he winked.</p><p>“Christ, Sidney, I hope people don’t think I’m their mum. That would make me a very early starter!”</p><p>They played happily with Jenny, Alicia and Henry for a while and then sauntered over to the park café to get some drinks and ice creams. Huddled tightly on the wooden tables outside, Sidney’s thigh brushed against hers and it felt like electricity fizzing through her body. She leaned her head on his shoulder. Under the table, he rested his hand on her thigh.</p><p>“What are we doing tonight then?” she looked up at him dreamily, and a little cheekily.</p><p>“Well, let’s see... I’m dropping the kids off at five, so we could... go to Vincenzo’s again, and try to avoid Mrs Denham and her lasagne, or we could go to the cinema, except I just remembered Sanditon’s cinema closed down in 1995, or... I could cook you a delicious romantic meal at my house and um... how does that sound?”</p><p>“I like the last option. Can you actually cook then?”</p><p>“Charlotte, I made you breakfast, remember. Yes, I can cook. I’ve lived on my own a long time, I’ve had a lot of practice.”</p><p>She held onto his arm and kissed it. “Good. What’s for dinner then?”</p><p>“I bought some salmon actually. And some white wine. You like that? I thought about oysters, but my wallet wouldn’t stretch that far.”</p><p>She pulled a face. “I don’t like oysters anyway. Yes, Sidney, I do know what they say about oysters. Salmon will be fine. I hardly think we need an aphrodisiac, do we?”</p><p>He bent down and kissed her. “No, definitely not,” he whispered.</p><p>Just then her phone rang and she took it out of her pocket.</p><p>“Oh, it’s Clara. Excuse me a minute.”</p><p> </p><p>She got up from the table, moving some way distant across the park to answer the call. She was talking for a long time. Sidney was busy wiping ice cream off Henry’s face and dealing with a spilt drink when she returned, frowning.</p><p>“I’m really sorry, Sidney, I’m going to have to go.”</p><p>“Go? Why?”</p><p>“Clara...” she looked around anxiously as she didn’t want anyone nearby to hear. “She’s got his phone. She says there’s more than one picture on it. She says there’s a lot of pictures.”</p><p>“She took his phone? Wasn’t that a bit stupid? He’ll notice straightaway.”</p><p>“No,” Charlotte shook her head. “It’s his secret phone. But she says...” Charlotte looked like she was going to cry.</p><p>“What is it?” Sidney sprang up from the table, concerned.</p><p>“Sidney, I need a poo!” shouted Henry, pulling on his sleeve. “Now!”</p><p>“Wait a minute Henry,” he said crossly. He came and stood close to her. Tears were forming in her eyes.</p><p>“She says it’s full of photos of... women. Some of her. But also me, she thinks. One of us in the car. And... other photos that are unidentifiable.”</p><p>“What do you mean, unidentifiable?” Sidney was incredulous.</p><p>“I don’t know. That’s why she wants to come round and show me.”</p><p>Sidney put his arms around her. “Okay, but you’ll be back tonight, won’t you? I’m dropping the kids off soon.”</p><p>“I don’t know. Look, I have to go, she’s arriving at the flat soon. Sidney... you might need to come round too.”</p><p>“Why?”</p><p>“Because...” Charlotte’s face was pale, “she thinks there might be pictures of students.”</p><p>Sidney was stunned. “No. Fuck. What?”</p><p>“I’ll call you later, okay? Once you’ve dropped the kids off?”</p><p>She gave him a brief kiss and was gone. Sidney stared after her, angry. <em>That fucking Edward.</em> Was he always to come between them?</p><p>He turned back to the kids. “He’s done it in his pants,” said Alicia, wrinkling up her nose.</p><p>Great, thought Sidney, some day this is turning out to be.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Rec = Recreation ground</p><p>Kids always do that at the worst possible moment, don't they?! :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0041"><h2>41. Tainted Love</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>As the extent of Edward's depravity becomes shockingly clear, unfortunately things don't go according to plan...</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>Sidney met Mary on Sanditon seafront and handed over his charges, somewhat preoccupied.</p><p>“You alright, Sidney?” she asked, concerned. “I thought you were going to be with Charlotte.”</p><p>“Oh, she had to go. Something came up. Did you have a good time with Tom last night, then?”</p><p>“Yes, we did actually,” she smiled, and proceeded to tell him all about it.</p><p>Sidney wasn’t really listening. After nodding politely for a minute or two, he said his goodbyes and headed home. Ruefully, he looked at the salmon marinating and the bottle of wine chilling in the fridge. He’d so been looking forward to this. He was almost afraid to tell her how much he’d missed her that week; she hadn’t liked it when he said he was obsessed. But she was on his mind all day long and he’d particularly missed her when he was on the course. Their text conversations had begun to get pretty hot and he’d even asked her to send a picture of her underwear one day. Instead she’d sent him a picture of her beautiful face and he’d forgotten all about the underwear. He couldn’t believe how lucky he was, or quite how gauche and shy he felt about it.</p><p>The 40 or so women he’d confessed to her was probably a slight understatement, but they all seemed to fade into insignificance now. Being with her made him feel like a teenage boy at school in Sanditon all over again, falling in love for the first time. Although he was desperately looking forward to making love to her properly for the first time, he also just wanted her in his house, eating with him, talking to him, to stop him being so bloody alone for once.</p><p> </p><p>His phone rang. Thank god, it was her.</p><p>
  <em>- Hi, you okay? I was worried.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Hi. Yeah, I suppose so. Look, Sidney, you need to come over.</em>
</p><p>He looked at his watch. 7pm.</p><p>
  <em>- Sure. We’ll have to eat later then I guess.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Yes. Don’t feel that hungry to be honest. See you soon.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Bye, see you in a minute.</em>
</p><p>He frowned. What the fuck was going on?</p><p> </p><p>****************************************</p><p> </p><p>Esther buzzed him in on the intercom and shouted, “The door’s open.”</p><p>As he entered the living room, the three women were huddled together on the sofa, their heads down, looking at a phone. One brunette, one blonde, one redhead.</p><p>“Hi girls... I mean ladies...” he faltered. An image came into his mind of three witches in some play or other, but he decided it perhaps wasn’t the best thing to say.</p><p>All three women looked up at the same time. One pair of blue eyes, one pair of green and one pair of beautiful brown. Charlotte smiled at him, indicating a chair, which he pulled up alongside them.</p><p>He nodded at Clara who nodded back. He’d had very little to do with her since she joined the school, but he’d admired her playing in the school concerts and the way she organised the handful of students who took any interest in music.</p><p>“Thanks for doing this, Clara. How did you err... manage to get hold of the phone?”</p><p>Charlotte gave him a sharp look and answered for her. “She took his keys and went out to the car while he was asleep. He’d... been drinking.”</p><p>“The phone was hidden in a compartment in the boot,” added Esther.</p><p>“Okay, so where do we start?” he grinned nervously.</p><p>“Well,” said Charlotte, “here’s the one of us at the club.” She handed the phone to him, unsmiling.</p><p>He took the phone. Shit, it wasn’t a nice photo. Not nice at all.</p><p>“Shall I... just delete it?” he said uncertainly, looking at the three women. They all nodded their heads. “Okay.” Thank fuck. That was done. But what now?</p><p>Charlotte took the phone back off him. “Okay, there are some of Clara. You don’t need to see those, although there are some she wasn’t aware had been taken.” Clara looked down at her lap.</p><p>“There’s one here of you and me in the car, look.” It was very indistinct, but you could just about make out Charlotte and Sidney in the front seats, in the dark, their heads close together.</p><p>“I don’t understand why he took that,” said Charlotte. “We could delete it if you like. Luckily you can’t see the kids. And here,” she continued, “here’s one of me.”</p><p>Somewhat defiantly, she showed Sidney the phone. It was a slightly blurry picture of Charlotte from the side. You couldn’t see her head that well, but she was wearing a T-shirt and the focus of the photo was clearly on her breasts. Sidney swallowed.</p><p>“There’s more,” she said. “Swipe it.” So he did.</p><p>What he saw made him feel nauseous. It was a picture of a woman’s bottom and crotch, in a pair of black knickers. “Is that you?” he asked quietly, looking up at her.</p><p>There were tears in her eyes. “Yes, it’s me. It must have been that time when I was at the locker. There’s more, though.”</p><p>He scrolled through. There were four or five similar pictures. Then what appeared to be a different woman, a different pair of knickers this time, white.</p><p>“Who’s this?” he asked.</p><p>“That’s what we’re not sure about,” said Esther. “But Clara thinks... Clara, you tell him.”</p><p>Clara spoke for the first time, quietly. “I have a feeling it might be someone from his Year 13 class. He kept talking about one particular girl. Ellie Thompson.”</p><p>“Yes, I know who you mean,” said Sidney. He frowned. Ellie was a very bright girl, about to take her A levels. A nice girl really, never any trouble. Certainly not as brash as some of them.</p><p>“Um...” he swallowed. “What did he tell you about Ellie? What do you mean?”</p><p>Clara sighed. “He told me he thought she fancied him. That she kept flirting with him, she’d put her hand on his leg once, that she wanted extra tuition with him.”</p><p>“How long ago was this?”</p><p>“Just the last couple of months. Since Christmas.”</p><p>Hmmm. Shortly after he’d lost interest in Charlotte, perhaps.</p><p>“And did you believe him?”</p><p>“I don’t know,” Clara looked down again. “Most likely he was just saying it to make me jealous. But whatever, he shouldn’t be taking those bloody photos, should he?” She began to cry and Esther comforted her.</p><p>Sidney looked at Charlotte. He reached out his hand to hers and stroked it. “You okay?”</p><p>“No, not really,” she replied, looking glum. “Sidney, there’s a video too. Of the same girl. I don’t really think you should watch it though.”</p><p>He sighed, putting his head in his hands. Another night with Charlotte fucked up. All because of Edward. But surely this was his last chance. They’d got him now.</p><p>“Sidney,” said Esther, “you realise what this is don’t you?” She raised an eyebrow.</p><p>“Well, yeah... what do they call it, upskirting?”</p><p>“Yes,” she replied. “It’s a criminal offence now. Only since last year, in fact. Maximum sentence two years in prison.”</p><p>“It’s certainly the end of his teaching career,” said Sidney grimly. “Thank god for that. But... how did he manage to do it without anyone noticing? Surely you can hear the camera click or something?”</p><p>“Not always,” said Esther. “You can easily disable it. Silent cameras are banned in some countries to prevent this, but not in the UK. Who knows, a quick flash under the table, or even a phone dropped on the floor, running a video. It doesn’t take a minute.”</p><p>They began to discuss the next course of action, specifically how Sidney would deal with it on Monday.</p><p>“But surely you should go straight to the head, right now?” asked Esther, surprised.</p><p>“Yes... except firstly, the head is his aunt. Secondly, we need to talk to the girls from that A level class. All of them.” Sidney replied. “I’ll phone Dan Ferrars tomorrow. Um... do you think I should take the phone?” He looked uncertain.</p><p>“I’d rather you didn’t,” said Clara, wiping her eyes. “Can’t you leave it with Charlotte and she can bring it to you on Monday morning?”</p><p>“Okay.”</p><p>“What about you Clara? What if he realises the phone is gone?” asked Charlotte.</p><p>“I don’t think he will, not yet. He told me he had to take his kids somewhere tonight and then he’s having lunch with all the family tomorrow. He said he wouldn’t have time to call me. I think he sensed something was up last night, actually. I tried my hardest to... act normal, but I think he knows there isn’t much left between us, somehow. Wishful thinking maybe.” She smiled thinly.</p><p>A short while later, Clara left, promising to ring Charlotte or Esther if she had any concerns over the weekend.</p><p> </p><p>Sidney stood up, stretching, puffing out his cheeks and looking at his watch. It was now nine o’clock. As Charlotte came back into the room, he smiled at her.</p><p>“You okay, babe? You must be hungry. I can still cook, you know, if you want to come back with me?”</p><p>She laughed in shock. “Not really, Sidney. I’m not really in the mood.”</p><p>He frowned. “But... I thought we agreed...”</p><p>“Agreed what, Sidney?”</p><p>He was taken aback. “Sorry... I thought we had an arrangement... a date...”</p><p>“For fuck’s sake, Sidney, you really think I feel like having a date after all this?” She shook her head in disbelief.</p><p>Esther was standing between them, looking awkward. She raised her hands in the air. “Look, I think I ought to stay out of this. You have to understand though, Sidney, Charlotte’s had a shock.”</p><p>“Yes I realise that Esther. Charlotte... could we talk privately?”</p><p>“Sure,” her eyes flashed angrily at him. “Come to my bedroom.”</p><p>At any other time that would have been a most welcome invitation, but now he was feeling apprehensive. Of course she was upset, but was there really any need to take it out on him?</p><p>She closed the door of her bedroom and stood there glaring at him. He leaned back against the door.</p><p>“Charlotte... sweetheart... I’m just trying to cheer you up. Come here, please.” He opened his arms wide.</p><p>She folded her arms angrily. “You are fucking incredible, Sidney Parker. You come in here, so obviously concerned about deleting that one incriminating photo – the one with you in it...”</p><p>“Hey, that’s not fair.”</p><p>“Then,” she continued, ignoring him, “you barely say anything about the fact that some pervert has taken photos of my tits... and my <em>cunt</em>...” she spat the word out, “without my knowledge, then to top it off, you expect me to keep to our ‘arrangement’, and come back to your house and have sex with you?”</p><p>“Charlotte, I did not say that!” Sidney was stunned.</p><p>But she wouldn’t stop, her voice getting louder by the minute. “Do you really think I feel like having a date now? Do you? Do you think I feel remotely sexy? Because I don’t. I feel dirty, I feel like some... used tissue, something Edward’s been <em>wanking </em>into. Can you even imagine how that feels?”</p><p>She was seething, but there were tears running down her cheeks.</p><p>“Charlotte... look... please... I just want to...” He was getting frustrated at her unwillingness to listen, the way she was randomly lashing out at him. But she wouldn’t stop.</p><p>“You spend all week ignoring me, making excuses not to come and see me, asking me about my underwear for Christ’s sake, and now you’re sulking like some teenage boy because you can’t get your end away!”</p><p>There was silence. Sidney just stared at her. <em>Oh shit</em>, she thought, <em>Why did I say that?</em></p><p>“Have you quite finished, Charlotte? Have you?” he said coldly. His jaw was tensing as his eyes narrowed.</p><p>She was silent.</p><p>“Right, will you listen to me, please? Just for a moment, without interrupting? I’m very sorry if you think I haven’t been sympathetic enough. It’s a shock to me too. I’ve never seen anything like that before in my life. Give me a chance. We can talk about it later. I just wanted to...” he spread his arms in frustration, “have dinner with you, maybe a drink, relax a little.”</p><p>“Oh, just give the bloody dinner to the cat,” she said, looking at the floor.</p><p>“I haven’t got a fucking cat!” he shouted, quickly realising how ridiculous this conversation was becoming. He closed his eyes and exhaled.</p><p>“Please, Charlotte. Come back with me. I don’t want to spend another night without you.”</p><p>She put her head in her hands.</p><p>“Sidney, I’m sorry, I just want to be alone. I really can’t cope right now with your... your neediness.”</p><p>Sidney was stunned. “My <em>neediness</em>?” he repeated, quietly and very seriously. “You think I’m <em>needy</em>?”</p><p>“Sometimes, yes...” she faltered. <em>Oh shit, what have I said?</em></p><p>“Is that <em>really</em> what you think of me? I’m sorry you think that, Charlotte. I think it’s about time I left.”</p><p>So saying, he turned the door handle and walked out of the room, picked up his coat, left the flat and got into his car.</p><p>“Sidney...” she called, but it was no good. He had gone. She sat on her bed and wept, her head in her hands.</p><p>Sidney drove home, went into the kitchen, took the salmon out the fridge and threw the whole bloody lot in the bin. Grabbing the bottle of wine and a glass, plus a packet of peanuts from the cupboard, he sat in the lounge watching TV until he fell asleep, sometime in the early hours of the morning.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Tainted Love – by Ed Cobb, recorded by Gloria Jones (1965) and Soft Cell (1981)</p><p>Okay - Charlotte's out of line here. But she's not perfect! (remember the argument at the end of episode 4).</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0042"><h2>42. Crossed Wires</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Charlotte is remorseful and Sidney wallows in self-pity... but at least we get to see him in the bath.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>Esther knocked quietly on Charlotte’s bedroom door. “Charlotte? Can I come in?” No answer.</p><p>She came in anyway, sat down on Charlotte’s bed and put her arms around her.</p><p>“Come on, sweetie.”</p><p>“Shit, Esther, what a horrible day.”</p><p>“I know, I know.”</p><p>“It’s nothing though, is it, compared to what you went through?”</p><p>“Don’t think about it like that, darling. Everyone has their own cross to bear. I do think though...” she paused, “you were a bit harsh on Sidney. He’s only human, you know. It’s not every day you find out your girlfriend’s been upskirted by some pervert. And then he’s got all the school side of it to think about too.”</p><p>Charlotte sobbed again. “I know. I lashed out at him. I didn’t mean to but... it seemed like he just wanted to forget about it and carry on as normal. The thing he seemed most pissed off about was cancelling our date and the bloody salmon he’d bought. Honestly!”</p><p>“Charlotte, don’t be ridiculous. He’s not like that.”</p><p>“I don’t know, Esther. It’s been such a weird week. I hadn’t seen him since Monday and even then he didn’t stay long. Why couldn’t he have come round another night? Just to see me, just for half an hour. Just to... I dunno, watch TV or something? Instead, he wants to have this big important date, like he scheduled, ‘Sex with Charlotte’ in his diary or something.” She sobbed again.</p><p>“Oh for Christ’s sake, Charlotte, we’ve been through all that,” said Esther, a little irritated. “I know you’ve had a shock, but it’s not fair to take it out on him.”</p><p>“I know, I know. But I felt all this... pressure. Pressure to be perfect, have the perfect date, have perfect sex. And then all this happened and he still wanted me to go over there.”</p><p>“Maybe you’re right, darling. Maybe he didn’t want to waste a perfectly good salmon.” She smiled and Charlotte smiled weakly back. “Look, forget about it now, you need to rest. I’ll bring you something to eat, okay? I’m sure everything will seem better in the morning. You can call him then and talk about it, once you’ve both calmed down.”</p><p>Charlotte nodded and lay back on her bed.</p><p> </p><p>****************************************************</p><p> </p><p>The next day, Sunday, Charlotte tried calling Sidney after breakfast. He didn’t answer. She had a shower then tried again, still no answer. In the afternoon, she sent him a text.</p><p>
  <em>- I’m so sorry. I took it out on you and I didn’t mean what I said. Please talk to me. Charlotte xx</em>
</p><p>But he didn’t reply.</p><p> </p><p>*************************************************</p><p> </p><p>Sidney had woken up just before dawn with a crick in the neck, the bottle of wine virtually empty on the coffee table in front of him. He dragged himself up to bed and slept till morning. He felt sluggish when he awoke and he didn’t even feel like a bike ride. It was cold and windy outside and he couldn’t be bothered. He noticed a missed call on his phone. Charlotte. There was no voicemail and he ignored it. After a meagre breakfast, he ran himself a bath, stripped off and climbed in.</p><p>Leaving his phone on the side of the bath, he sank back into the bubbles, trying not to think about anything. About ten minutes later, he was roused from his reverie by the sound of his phone ringing. He leaned over to see who it was. Charlotte again. His hands were wet so he decided to ignore it.</p><p>What she’d said had really hurt. He realised perhaps that he hadn’t responded to the shock of the upskirting quite as a perfect boyfriend should have done. Truth be told, he had no idea how to react. No idea how she was feeling. If she’d come back with him, they could have at least talked about it, tried to understand what each other was feeling. But she hadn’t given him a fucking chance. She’d simply assumed he wanted to get her into his bed as fast as possible. God, did she think he was Edward or something? He huffed angrily at the thought. And she could be so bloody volatile. For the first time, he wondered if perhaps she was a little young for him after all. But then he’d tried a relationship with someone his own age and that hadn’t exactly been successful. Maybe he just wasn’t cut out for this, maybe he was destined to remain alone.</p><p>It was what she’d said about neediness that had really cut him to the quick, however. It was exactly the kind of thing Eliza might have said. Had said, in fact. Eliza, who he’d not particularly wanted to marry in the first place. Eliza, who didn’t really seem to know who he was and wasn’t particularly interested in what he wanted. He’d tried to make a go of their marriage, he’d tried to love her, he’d been hurting and grieving from the death of his parents and he just wanted someone to love him back. But she wouldn’t. She told him he was needy. So he’d taken his needs elsewhere. Another thing he hadn’t confessed to Charlotte. He’d had several affairs in the last year of their marriage, just a few girls he’d picked up here and there, looking for some comfort. Eliza had never found out, though she must have guessed. The whole thing with Charles was her way of revenging herself on him; he even thought she’d deliberately meant him to find them together. It was the final stab in the back.</p><p>He sank down completely immersing himself in the water. He didn’t want to go through that again. Asking to be loved, being rejected, being laughed at for his neediness, feeling two feet small. Better to stay out of it. Better to stay alone and untouched.</p><p>Hauling himself out of the bath and tying a small towel around his waist, he picked up his phone, went through to the bedroom and laid on the bed, scratching his balls as he did so. There was one woman who still loved him. Perhaps the only woman who had ever loved him since his mother had died. He decided to text her now.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>- Di. You busy?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Hi Sid. I’m on a break but I’ve only got 5 minutes. Two C-sections this afternoon! What’s up?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Nothing. Just fancied a chat. Don’t worry.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Mary says you’ve got a new girlfriend. Are we going to meet her??</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- I don’t know. I think I messed up.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Oh Sid. What did you do now?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Said the wrong thing. Did the wrong thing. Who knows?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Well just say sorry. You like her don’t you?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Yeah. I’m not sure she likes me though. Not really.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- You’re wallowing in self pity again, aren’t you? Be a big boy and apologise. You only get one life, you might as well try to be happy.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Yeah I know. Carpe diem and all that. You’ve told me before.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Well bloody listen then! I’ve got to go. Call me later if you want. Love you.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Love you too sis. Bye.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Fuck it. Now he wanted to cry.</p><p>A few minutes later, his phone buzzed again. A text from Charlotte. But he didn’t know what to say. He hid his phone under a pile of clothes, laid down on the bed and went back to sleep.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Love will tear us apart – Joy Division (1980)</p><p>I thought we'd better get all the angst out the way in one go! Things ought to improve now, provided Sidney can drag himself out of that quagmire of self-loathing...</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0043"><h2>43. Bloody Valentines</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>I decided to put the next chapter up so you can see what happens, then I'm taking a few days off...</p>
<p>Some serious stuff goes down at school - can Charlotte and Sidney find their way back to each other?</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p>Charlotte’s alarm went off at 7am and she looked at her phone blearily. Monday 14 February. Nice one. Another Valentine’s Day without a bloody Valentine. Esther was already in the kitchen, scrolling down her phone with a smile on her face.</p>
<p>“Happy Valentine’s Esther. Has he messaged you already?”</p>
<p>“Yes,” she laughed. “He wants to drive down tonight and take me out. Soppy git!”</p>
<p>“That’s nice.” Charlotte made herself a cup of tea.</p>
<p>“You okay Charlotte?”</p>
<p>“Not really. But don’t mind me.”</p>
<p>“Did you speak to him?”</p>
<p>“No, I called and I sent him several texts, but he won’t reply.” Charlotte said despondently, stirring her tea.</p>
<p>“My goodness, you two need your heads banging together.” Esther looked sad. “My mum used to say that. Look, Charlotte, take the phone into school, get all this... shit out of the way first. Then you can talk to him.”</p>
<p>“I hope so. I thought he loved me. Do you think it was stupid to say that so early on, Esther?”</p>
<p>“Early on? You’ve known each other for months.” She hadn’t told Charlotte that Bradley had already said those words to her, and although she wasn’t quite ready to say them back, she knew she would one day, soon.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Sidney was sitting in his office, checking his emails. He noticed the date. 14 February. Oh shit. Well, it was too late now anyway. A cheesy card or a bunch of garage flowers would hardly get them back on track. It was 8.45. There was a knock on the door.</p>
<p>“Come in.”</p>
<p>It was Charlotte. She walked up to his desk and handed him a brown package.</p>
<p>“Here’s the phone. I’ve written the PIN number on the front of the envelope. Clara worked it out easily.”</p>
<p>“Thanks.” His expression was unreadable.</p>
<p><em>Thanks.</em> Was that all he was going to say? Big breath.</p>
<p>“Sidney...”</p>
<p>“What is it?” Picking up his mouse, he began scanning his emails again.</p>
<p>“Please. I’m sorry. Really I am. I shouldn’t have said those things, I was upset. Surely you can understand that.”</p>
<p>“Charlotte, I don’t really have time for this now.” He still wouldn’t look at her.</p>
<p>“Why wouldn’t you answer my calls? And my text?”</p>
<p>He looked up now, huffing like an angry stallion. “Do you know what, Charlotte? You’ve actually done me a favour. At least I’m in no doubt now as to what you think of me. I’m sorry if I’ve been a disappointment. I’m sorry I opened up to you. I actually thought you were different. I thought you cared.” His voice was bitter with regret.</p>
<p>She inhaled sharply. “Sidney, please...”</p>
<p>“Look, I really don’t have time for this right now. And you’re going to be late for Period 1. Go on, run along.”</p>
<p>
  <em>Run along?!</em>
</p>
<p>“Very well, I will.” She walked despondently out the room. At the door, she turned.</p>
<p>“Sidney. I really did care. I do care. You don’t have to believe me, but it’s the truth.”</p>
<p>Then she was gone.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Just before lunch, Charlotte was in her classroom, standing at the desk packing up her books, when she sensed a presence in the doorway. It was him. He strode into the room, closing the door behind him, and walked up to her desk.</p>
<p>“Charlotte,” he said quietly, leaning his hands on the desk, “I didn’t want to come to the staffroom, Edward’s always hanging around. Would you be able to come to my office at 3.30? We need to talk to the girls from his A-level class and we need a female teacher there. You’re the best person to help. Please.”</p>
<p>She looked up at him. He was his usual tired, unshaven, sexy self. “Sure. I’ll be there.”</p>
<p>He breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank you. And Charlotte,” he looked into her eyes. “I’m sorry about this morning. I’m a stubborn bastard, I know. Can we… talk later?”</p>
<p>She smiled at him. “Sure.”</p>
<p>He smiled back. Then he edged closer to her, close enough for her to smell the faint scent of his aftershave. Slowly and gently, he ran one finger up and down her bare forearm. “I’m sorry.”</p>
<p>“No, I’m sorry.”</p>
<p>He continued stroking his finger. “No, I’m sorry.”</p>
<p>They both laughed. “God, I want to kiss you,” he whispered. He looked behind him, then reached his hand up to stroke her hair. He shifted his body closer to her until she was pinned up against the desk.</p>
<p>“Not here,” she breathed.</p>
<p>“No, you’re right,” he sighed, moving back.</p>
<p>“Now go away,” she teased him, “before I melt into a puddle on the floor.”</p>
<p>He laughed. “I’d like to see that.”</p>
<p>“Go, I’ll see you at 3.30.” She waved him away, smiling, and he backed out of the door.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Shortly after 3.30, Charlotte knocked on the door of Sidney’s office.</p>
<p>“Come in.” Those deep tones still made her shiver. She pushed open the door; they were all waiting for her. Sidney sitting behind his desk, looking unaccountably nervous, Dan Ferrars standing to the side, and five Year 13 girls seated on chairs in front of them, wondering what they’d done wrong, no doubt.</p>
<p>“Sorry, am I late?” said Charlotte. “I had to...”</p>
<p>Dan Ferrars cut her off. “Don’t worry Miss Heywood, it’s fine. Come and sit down here. He brought her a chair and placed it between Sidney’s desk and the row of girls.</p>
<p>“You all know Miss Heywood, don’t you?” he continued.</p>
<p>Most of them nodded. Charlotte smiled at them reassuringly, scanning their faces. She recognised Ellie, a pretty, but fairly quiet and serious girl, one of the school’s top students. Also Rosie, a very attractive girl with long brown hair who had been coming along to Drama Club since the beginning. She was a very good actor; full of life and quite cheeky.</p>
<p>“Hi Miss,” she grinned, chewing her gum.</p>
<p>“Hello Rosie,” replied Charlotte, smiling. Somehow she couldn’t imagine Rosie giving Edward any leeway, if his attentions had been directed towards her at all.</p>
<p>She glanced over towards Sidney. His gaze rested upon her tenderly.</p>
<p>“Thank you for coming Char... Miss Heywood,” he corrected himself.</p>
<p>“Right, girls,” he continued. “I suppose you’re wondering what all this about?” A few nods.</p>
<p>“You’ve done nothing wrong, obviously. It’s because you’re all in the same Geography A level class.” Some confused looks.</p>
<p>He paused, swallowing. “Look, you don’t have to say anything if you don’t want to. But we would like to know if... if Mr Denham has ever... exhibited any strange behaviour, or done anything to make you feel... uncomfortable.”</p>
<p>There was silence. He got up from his chair. It was stuffy in the room and his jacket was already off, and his sleeves were rolled up slightly. He walked over towards the window, hands in his pockets. The cut of his black trousers perfectly showed off his trim waist and shapely bum. Charlotte looked at Rosie, who was clearly admiring him. They exchanged a smile.</p>
<p>Then she turned to look at Ellie, who was staring at the floor, reddening. The other girls were looking at her too. One of them touched her arm. “Ellie?”</p>
<p>Sidney turned round. Ellie raised her head.</p>
<p>“What is it, Ellie?” asked Charlotte softly. Ellie was beginning to cry.</p>
<p>“Would you prefer Mr Ferrars and I to leave the room, so you can just talk to Miss Heywood?” he asked softly.</p>
<p>“No, it’s okay,” she said quietly. “Oh god...”</p>
<p>Rosie spoke up. “He’s been bothering her, sir. For a few months. We told her to go and tell someone, but she wouldn’t. She was embarrassed.”</p>
<p>“Thank you, Rosie. Are you able to explain a little more, Ellie?”</p>
<p>Charlotte sat closer to Ellie and took her hand.</p>
<p>“Ellie. Please don’t worry, we’re only here to help you. But you have to understand that if something has happened to you, we will have to report it to the head, and potentially to the police.”</p>
<p>Sidney interjected. “That’s right. But don’t worry Ellie, we will support you fully at all times. Including any effect it may have on your academic work.”</p>
<p>Ellie took a deep breath. “He started touching me. Stroking my hair, smiling at me. Once or twice he touched my knee under the table in the middle of a lesson. I didn’t know what to do. I froze.”</p>
<p>“Bloody pervert,” said Rosie. “Oh sorry, sir.”</p>
<p>“Anything else, Ellie?” asked Charlotte softly. Sidney was watching them intently. Dan felt completely out of his depth, but maintained his reassuring presence. He had a daughter the same age as these girls, and the situation made him terrified and angry in equal measure.</p>
<p>“He kept complimenting me on my clothes, especially if I was wearing a skirt. Once he brushed past me and I’m sure he... touched my bum. Then he suggested I have extra tuition after school. I want to go to Cambridge you see, I’m going to study History, but I need an ‘A’ in Geography.”</p>
<p>“What did you say?”</p>
<p>“I said no. I didn’t want to be alone with him. Also...” she paused. “I stopped wearing skirts to school. I only wear trousers now.”</p>
<p>She put her head in her hands and Charlotte put an arm around her. “Come on. It’s okay. You did the right thing. Did you tell your parents?”</p>
<p>“No, I was too embarrassed. I thought it was my fault.”</p>
<p>“It wasn’t your fault, Ellie, not at all.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Sidney turned to the other girls. “Has Mr Denham done anything similar with any of you?”</p>
<p>They shook their heads. “He wouldn’t bloody dare,” spat Rosie. “Sorry, sir.”</p>
<p>Sidney grinned, despite himself. “Thank you Rosie. I think we get the message.”</p>
<p>“But how do you know?” asked one of the other girls. “Presumably he hasn’t confessed?”</p>
<p>“Ah,” said Sidney. “Yes... Char... Miss Heywood?”</p>
<p>She looked at him and he handed her the phone. She punched in the PIN number.</p>
<p>“Sorry about this girls, but we think he might have taken some photos of one of you, or some of you, without you knowing.” Gasps all round.</p>
<p>“No way! What, like upskirting?”</p>
<p>“Yes, possibly. Not many, just a few,” replied Charlotte. “If it makes you feel any better, he did it to me as well.”</p>
<p>“To you, Miss?” asked Rosie. “Did he like... come on to you as well?”</p>
<p>Charlotte blushed. “No, not really. I think I made it pretty clear I wasn’t interested.” She glanced over at Sidney.</p>
<p>She found a photo and showed it to Ellie. “Sorry about this.”</p>
<p>Ellie stared at the photo. “Yes, that’s me. Jesus Christ.”</p>
<p>The other girls were straining to look. Charlotte showed them briefly, then put the phone back on her lap.</p>
<p>“Look, there’s a lot more photos. There’s even a short video, I’m afraid. They’re all pretty similar, but I don’t think we need to look at them all now, do we?”</p>
<p>“No,” said Sidney. “Look girls, Ellie, we will have to speak to Mrs Denham about this. And... most likely, the police.”</p>
<p>“The police? Ace!” cried Rosie. “He deserves what’s coming to him.”</p>
<p>“Thank you Rosie,” replied Sidney. “Ellie, it’s up to you. Are you happy for us to do this?”</p>
<p>“Yes,” she nodded. “But I won’t have to go to court or anything will I? My A levels are coming up and I don’t really want to be distracted.”</p>
<p>“Don’t worry, Ellie, we’ll give you all the support we can,” interjected Dan. “Ellie, do you think you’ll be able to talk to your parents about this? Tonight even?”</p>
<p>“Yes, I’ll try and talk to my mum,” she nodded.</p>
<p>“Okay,” said Sidney, exhaling with relief. “I’ll let you all go now. But girls – please do not talk about this to anyone, except your parents, if you want to. And please ask them <em>not</em> to contact the school about it until you hear from us. We need to raise the matter with Mrs Denham, through all the appropriate channels. Do you understand?”</p>
<p>“Yes, sir.” They all nodded.</p>
<p>Charlotte was hugging Ellie, who was drying her eyes. “Well done Ellie, you’ve been very brave. And remember – none of this is your fault. None of this. If you want to wear a skirt, you wear one. Okay?”</p>
<p>She smiled, nodding. “Thanks, Miss Heywood.”</p>
<p>“Call me Charlotte,” she smiled, “I’m not that much older than you really. And... if you feel you need to talk about any of this over the next few days, come and see me in my classroom. Okay?”</p>
<p>“Yes. Thanks... Charlotte.”</p>
<p>The girls got up to go, several of them putting their arms around Ellie, Rosie muttering under her breath, “Jesus, what a prick...” They left the room.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Both Sidney and Dan exhaled. “Bloody hell Sidney, that was tricky. Well done,” said Dan, “And well done to you, Charlotte. Charlotte?”</p>
<p>He looked over, concerned. Charlotte was sitting on the chair with her head in her hands, sobbing. “Sorry, I just...” Her sobs got louder.</p>
<p>Dan walked over and placed a hand on her shoulder. “You were brilliant Charlotte, you really were. We couldn’t have done it without you.”</p>
<p>He looked helplessly at Sidney. “Sidney... I think I should leave this to you?” He raised an eyebrow.</p>
<p>“Yes, okay,” replied Sidney, looking at Charlotte with tender concern.</p>
<p>“We need to talk further though,” said Dan. “Shall I give you ten minutes or so? I’ll be in my office.”</p>
<p>Sidney nodded and Dan left the room.</p>
<p>“Charlotte...” She was still sobbing.</p>
<p>Pulling up a chair next to her, he wrapped his arms around her tightly. She collapsed onto his chest, still crying.</p>
<p>“Sssh... darling... it’s okay.” He stroked her hair and just let her weep, resting against his chest.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry,” she panted, “I’m making your shirt all wet again.”</p>
<p>“Yes you seem to have a habit of doing that,” he smiled. “I don’t care. Just carry on.” He kissed the top of her forehead. “He was right, you know, Charlotte, you were bloody brilliant. I’m proud of you.” He squeezed her tighter.</p>
<p>“I only just held it together,” she was finding it difficult to speak as her sobs were still coming thick and fast.</p>
<p>“Sssh, calm your breathing now. That’s it.” It suddenly occurred to him. This is what she’d wanted on Saturday night. Just to let it all out and have him hold her.</p>
<p>Her breathing began to slow down and the sobs dissipated. She looked up at him and smiled.</p>
<p>“You were pretty good too, Mr Parker. That Rosie,” she grinned.</p>
<p>“Yes, she’s a handful. I don’t think she’ll let any men muck her around, will she?” He kissed her nose. “Bit like you.”</p>
<p>“Sidney,” she drew back a little, gazing into his eyes. “I <em>am</em> sorry, you know. I never meant those things. I took it out on you and I shouldn’t have. Forgive me. I know you’re not that kind of guy.” She wiped her nose with her hand.</p>
<p>“Hey, it’s okay. I was being selfish, wasn’t I?”</p>
<p>“No, you weren’t, you really weren’t. Maybe we just got our wires crossed.”</p>
<p>He nodded. “I’m sorry too.”</p>
<p>“The thing is...” she frowned, “I know this sounds stupid, but I felt like you wanted the perfect date, perfect sex... I was worried I would disappoint you.”</p>
<p>“Charlotte, please... firstly, I can’t imagine you would ever disappoint me and secondly, I would never expect anything of you...”</p>
<p>“Yes I know,” she replied. “I think it’s because we hadn’t seen each other all week. I don’t know... when you weren’t there, I almost forgot what you were really like. Does that make sense?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, I guess so.” He stroked her hair. “I wanted it to be perfect too. I wanted to treat you. Perhaps I...” he looked down, “couldn’t really believe you wanted me.”</p>
<p>“Don’t say that, Sidney! How could you of all people be insecure about your effect on women?” She giggled.</p>
<p>He looked up, with a serious expression on his face. “It’s not about sex, Charlotte. Really. Yes, I can get sex if I want sex. I can go to Brighton or London, pick up some woman in a club. That’s not what I want…” He looked down again, unsure whether to carry on.</p>
<p>“Charlotte. There was one thing you said that really hurt me. You called me needy.” He looked her in the eye.</p>
<p>She coloured. “Sorry,” she whispered, “I didn’t mean...”</p>
<p>“Let me explain. Eliza used to say that to me. I had lost my parents, I felt lost, I didn’t know if she was really the right woman for me, but I... I wanted her to love me, I guess.” He shrugged. “And she couldn’t. She wouldn’t. She didn’t love me for who I was. She pushed me away. She used to tell me I was needy.”</p>
<p>“Sidney, I’m sorry...” Charlotte was crying again.</p>
<p>“I might as well tell you. I cheated on her too. Just towards the end, once or twice. I didn’t care any more.” He looked down again.</p>
<p>Charlotte wrapped her arms around his neck and laid her head on his shoulder.</p>
<p>“Sidney, I didn’t really mean it like that. It was because you kept going on about how you couldn’t resist me, how you were obsessed, things like that. It made me feel nervous. But I’d never push you away. I want to love you. I really do. I do love you, Sidney.”</p>
<p>She looked deep into his eyes; she could see he had tears in his eyes too. He leaned forward and they kissed. The kiss was deep and passionate and full of longing. But also full of tenderness and a new-found understanding. It went on for some minutes, as he ran his hands through her hair and she grasped the nape of his neck. Sidney didn’t even feel aroused; he just wanted to carry on kissing this woman forever.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Suddenly, there was a cough behind them. It was Dan.</p>
<p>“Um... excuse me. Sorry to interrupt but... I have to get going soon, Carol and I have a parents’ evening with Abbie. Sorry.” Dan rubbed his hands together nervously.</p>
<p>Sidney broke away from Charlotte’s kiss but didn’t shift his position. “Okay, sorry Dan.”</p>
<p>He turned back to Charlotte and whispered, “Meet me at the bike racks?”</p>
<p>She nodded, smiling, and got up to leave. “Goodnight, Mr Ferrars,” she said, a little embarrassed.</p>
<p>Sidney got up and walked towards Dan, raising his arms in defence. “Dan, it’s not what you think... I was just um... comforting her.”</p>
<p>Dan laughed. “Sidney. It doesn’t matter what I think. Honestly, if you’ve got that wonderful girl to fall in love with you, then you’re a very lucky man. Very lucky. I know I moan about Carol, but I never regret the day I married her. And that was 25 years ago. You get less time for murder!” He chuckled.</p>
<p>Sidney grinned. “Thanks, Dan. She’s pretty special.”</p>
<p>“About time you settled down, Sidney. I guess that’s why you’re looking elsewhere?”</p>
<p>“Oh, Violet told you did she? Yeah, well it feels like it’s time to move on. And I don’t want to complicate things for Charlotte.”</p>
<p>“Well, good luck. I hope you get it. I’ll miss having you around though. No one to protect me from bloody Violet.” They both laughed.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ten minutes later, Sidney swiftly exited his office, grabbing his bike helmet along the way. As he approached the bike racks, he could see her waiting patiently for him. He suddenly felt incredibly lucky.</p>
<p>“Hello,” he said shyly, unlocking his bike. “Can I walk you home maybe?”</p>
<p>She smiled. “Sure. I bet you’ve done this a few times, haven’t you Sidney Parker? Meeting girls at the bike racks and walking them home?”</p>
<p>He laughed. “Yeah, I have. But they were bike sheds in those days.” He looked towards the main building; a light was still on in the main office.</p>
<p>“And look, there’s Miss Bates, watching me again. She was secretary here when I was at school, you know.”</p>
<p>“Really?”</p>
<p>“Yeah,” he grinned. “Always such a bloody gossip. This’ll be all over the school by tomorrow. Never mind.”</p>
<p>They walked companionably out of the school gates. As they got further down the road, he moved closer and put one arm around her waist, resting his other hand on his bike, his helmet dangling on the handlebars. For a while, neither of them spoke.</p>
<p>“Charlotte?” He raised his head to look at her in the falling darkness. “I know you said you didn’t want perfect dates and stuff, but it’s your birthday on Saturday, isn’t it? I’d still like to take you out. You just tell me what you’d like to do.”</p>
<p>She thought a moment. “Do you know what, Sidney? Do you know when I’ve been happiest with you?”</p>
<p>“Tell me. Chatting in the car? Sitting in a car all day doesn’t sound that much fun.”</p>
<p>“No,” she laughed, “just sitting on the beach with you, talking, cuddling, throwing stones, hiding from Mrs Denham. That was fun. Can we do something like that? Just spend time together?”</p>
<p>He pulled her closer to him and kissed the top of her head. “Sure. Whatever you like. But... I’d really like to get out of Sanditon for once, wouldn’t you? It’s not much fun trying to hide from people. How about we go to Brighton, look round the shops, have some lunch, go to the beach? I know this lovely little park too. Or is that too boring?”</p>
<p>“No. It sounds perfect.”</p>
<p>“Good, that’s settled then.” He stopped and turned towards her. “Can I kiss you please?”</p>
<p>“Since when have you needed my permission?” she laughed. “You don’t usually bother.”</p>
<p>“Because you make me feel as shy as a teenage boy, that’s why.”</p>
<p>She reached up and they kissed.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“How did Tom and Mary get on the other day, by the way?” They were nearing her flat now.</p>
<p>“Yeah, good I think. I mean, they’re not getting back together... not yet anyway. I didn’t tell you though, he’s looking for another job. He has an interview for a position as café manager at the leisure centre in Eastbourne. You know, where you go swimming. If he gets it, he’s going to look for a flat close by.”</p>
<p>“Oh that’s great,” said Charlotte. “Get him out of that bloody pub.”</p>
<p>“Yeah. And the Citizens Advice Bureau have been helping him sort out his debt situation. It’s all down to you, Charlotte.”</p>
<p>“Rubbish, it isn’t!”</p>
<p>“But you were the catalyst. I’m so glad you came into my life.” They were at her flat now and he rested his bike against the railings and held both her hands in his.</p>
<p>“Sidney,” she said, “you look tired. Why don’t you come up and have some dinner? I don’t know if Esther’s out with Brad or not, but there’s some lasagne in the fridge. It is Valentine’s Day after all.” She smiled shyly.</p>
<p>“Shit yeah, I forgot about that, sorry. Not that we were even talking this morning.”</p>
<p>She laughed. “Sidney, I don’t care about that. You don’t need a special day once a year to tell someone you love them.”</p>
<p>“I love you Charlotte.” He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her.</p>
<p>“Come on, lock your bike up. I’m starving.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Esther was in fact still at home. Bradley hadn’t been able to get away from the office, but he’d sent her a huge bunch of pink, red and white roses.</p>
<p>“Wow Esther,” said Charlotte, “they’re beautiful.”</p>
<p>“Soppy git,” grinned Sidney.</p>
<p>“Well, it’s nice to see you too Sidney,” said Esther sarcastically. “Do you want some food or not?”</p>
<p>“Yes please.”</p>
<p>“I’m glad to see you two finally came to your senses.” She smiled and served up the food.</p>
<p>Charlotte and Sidney narrated the events of the day to her as they ate. “My god,” she said. “Well I hope he gets what’s coming to him.”</p>
<p>“He will,” said Sidney. “Tomorrow. Charlotte, I may need you to come and talk to Mrs Denham as well. Is that okay?” He squeezed her hand.</p>
<p>“Yes, sure,” she replied. “Just let me know when.”</p>
<p>“Oh look at the time!” squealed Esther. “It’s Love Island, Charlotte, hurry up!”</p>
<p>“Oh no,” said Sidney, “you don’t watch that shit, do you?”</p>
<p>“Course we do,” said Charlotte, “come and sit with us, come on.”</p>
<p>“Christ,” he laughed. “The things I do for you.”</p>
<p>Sidney and Charlotte sat cuddling on the sofa as they watched TV. This was nice, he thought, despite the dreadful programme. Just being close. Maybe it would be best to take the focus off sex for a little while, just enjoy each other’s company. If it happened, it happened. If it didn’t... well, he very much hoped it would, all the same.</p>
<p>Five minutes later, he was asleep, his head nodding towards Charlotte’s shoulder. Esther looked over and smiled. “Poor boy, must be tired.” Charlotte put her arm round him and stroked his hair.</p>
<p>The programme finished and Charlotte moved forwards in her seat. Sidney woke up with a start. “Oh... sorry... I hope I wasn’t snoring.”</p>
<p>“You were actually. Quite loudly. Well, it’s nice to know you’re not perfect.” She grinned.</p>
<p>He smiled. “Has that crap finished then? Thank god for that. I’d better head home. I’ll just use your bathroom.”</p>
<p>At the front door, he kissed her longingly. “Thanks for a perfect Valentines, Charlotte.”</p>
<p>“Thank you Sidney. See you tomorrow. Sleep well.”</p>
<p>He did. That night he slept like a baby.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Don’t stand so close to me – The Police (1980)<br/>Every Breath You Take – The Police (1983)<br/>Been Around the World - Lisa Stansfield (1989)</p>
<p>If you’re interested in knowing more about how upskirting (finally) became a criminal offence, start here. https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-47902522</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0044"><h2>44. Out in the open</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>As I’m no expert in education or the law, the school may not have dealt with this incident exactly as they would in real life, so please suspend belief for dramatic purposes… Also Mrs Denham really wasn’t much help, as you might have gathered…</p>
<p>So - time's up for Edward, while Charlotte receives a lovely surprise...</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p>Charlotte also had a wonderful night’s sleep. For the first time since Saturday, she didn’t wake up in the early hours, sweating, thinking about those images on Edward’s phone. Instead she woke up smiling, thinking about Sidney, and how endearing he was. How vulnerable even. She knew it was hard for him to show that side of himself, and she was happy he’d chosen her to show it to. She certainly didn’t like the sound of that Eliza; hopefully she’d never have to meet her.</p>
<p>Then she remembered what they had to deal with today; Edward was not yet in the net. She couldn’t help feeling anxious that it was already Tuesday, he was still working at the school and no one had directly confronted him. She hoped Sidney and Dan knew what they were doing.</p>
<p>As she sat down to breakfast, she checked her phone. Sidney had already sent her a message about five minutes previously.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>- Morning gorgeous. Update: Dan’s been sorting everything out and has spoken to Mrs D and to Ellie’s parents, her mum is coming to school this morning and the police will be there. They will need to speak with you too, and possibly Clara. Then I expect they'll take Edward for questioning. Can you come to Mrs D’s office at 1pm?</em>
</p>
<p>Charlotte quickly replied.</p>
<p>
  <em>- Of course. See you then. Did you sleep well?</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>- Yes, like a baby. You?</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>- Really well. It’s good of Dan to sort it all out.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>- Well, I think he realised that you and I were a bit emotional about things…</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>- Oh! Did he say anything??</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>- He said I was a very lucky man. Because I am. xx</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>- Then I’m a lucky woman. xx Look, I’m sorry about flying off the handle at you. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>- You were upset, it’s okay. I didn’t react in the right way, I wanted to comfort you but I didn’t know how.</em>
</p>
<p>- <em>It was a shock for both of us.</em></p>
<p>
  <em>- When all this is over, we’ll spend some proper time together, yeah? And I don’t just mean the obvious.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>- Yes I’d like that. All of it.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>- Good. Half term next week, are you around?</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>- Yes, I’m pretty free. You busy?</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>- For once, I’m not. But if Mary asks me to have the kids, I think I’ll be busy…</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>- Good plan. I think it’s Tom’s turn, don’t you?</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>- My thoughts exactly.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>- He owes you a lot, your brother.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>- Maybe. Better get going. I’ll see you later, okay? xx</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>- See you later xx</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>At 1pm, Charlotte took a deep breath and knocked on Mrs Denham’s door. She had never been inside “the fortress” before, as it was called. Mrs Denham preferred not to bother with the junior members of staff.</p>
<p>“Come in,” barked an authoritative voice. Charlotte peeped her head round the corner. To her relief, Sidney was already there, as was Dan Ferrars. They both gave her a reassuring smile. Mrs Denham was seated at her imposing desk; behind her stood two police officers, one male, one female.</p>
<p>“Well, come in young lady, what are you doing?” Mrs Denham said, peering over her glasses.</p>
<p>“Ah, so you’re Miss Heywood, are you? Well, it’s good to finally put a face to a name.” She frowned, squinting. Where had she seen that girl before? She’d have to ask Roland when she got home.</p>
<p>Charlotte stood in front of her, for all the world like a naughty schoolgirl about to be told off by the headmistress. She looked pleadingly at Sidney.</p>
<p>“Charlotte,” he said softly, “The police just want to corroborate your story before they speak to Edward.”</p>
<p>The female police officer stepped forward. “Miss Heywood?”</p>
<p>“Yes?”</p>
<p>“We will be taking a statement from you soon, if you agree, but for now we would just like you to confirm a couple of things. Are you one of the women in the photographs on Edward Denham’s phone?”</p>
<p>“Yes I am.”</p>
<p>“And would you be prepared to make a full statement?”</p>
<p>“Yes of course.”</p>
<p>“Then we will be contacting you shortly at your home to arrange this. But first we need to get Mr Denham off the premises and ask him a few questions. Mrs Denham, have you spoken to him yet?” The police officer looked a little irritated.</p>
<p>Mrs Denham lifted her hands in exasperation, shaking her head. “No, but.. oh, I should never have listened to Roland. I knew Edward wasn’t to be trusted...”</p>
<p>Sidney rolled his eyes at Charlotte behind Mrs Denham’s back.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Just then, there was a loud knock on the door and Sally Fairfax burst into the room.</p>
<p>“Please!” she gasped breathlessly, “you have to come quickly. Edward’s attacking Clara in the staffroom!”</p>
<p>Charlotte and Sidney exchanged looks and immediately made a dash for the door, the police officers close on their heels, with Dan bringing up the rear.</p>
<p>When they arrived at the staffroom, Clara was cowering in a corner, while Edward was being restrained by two of the male teachers, Leon and Jack Tilney. Edward was spitting with fury, shouting at Clara.</p>
<p>“What did you do with it, you little minx? What the <em>fuck </em>did you do with my phone?”</p>
<p>Sidney towered in front of him. “Game’s up, I’m afraid Edward. Your aunt knows everything. As do the police.”</p>
<p>Edward growled like a wild animal. “Might have known you’d be involved, Parker. And that stupid little tart of yours!” He nodded his head at Charlotte, snarling.</p>
<p>Sidney raised his fist, ready to hit him. “That is enough!”</p>
<p>Charlotte quickly grabbed his arm. “Stop! What good will it do?”</p>
<p>He turned to face her, panting heavily. “How dare he speak about you like that?” he said, with pain in his eyes.</p>
<p>“Stand back please,” said one of the police officers, as they quickly grabbed hold of Edward and put him in handcuffs. Leon and Jack let go. A loud gasp went around the staffroom.</p>
<p>The female police officer read him his rights. “Edward Denham, I am arresting you on suspicion of voyeurism, under the Voyeurism Offences Act, 2019. You do not have to say anything, but it may harm your defence if you do not mention, when questioned, something you later rely on in court. Anything you do say may be given in evidence. We will now be taking you to the station for questioning.”</p>
<p>Edward hung his head in shame as all the teachers in the room stared at each other in shock.</p>
<p>Charlotte went over to Clara and put her arms round her. At that moment, Mrs Denham appeared in the doorway. Edward saw her and visibly paled.</p>
<p>“Edward Denham,” she said sternly, “I am <em>seriously</em> displeased. You are no longer employed at this establishment. You will never enter these premises again and it is highly unlikely that you will ever again see the inside of a classroom. More likely the four walls of a prison cell. I will be informing your mother.”</p>
<p>“Oh no, please, not my mother,” Edward whimpered, closing his eyes.</p>
<p>“Hooray!” came a small voice from the back of the staffroom. A few teachers sniggered in response.</p>
<p>Everyone present stood and watched in silence as Edward, escorted by the police officers, finally left the room, and the school, in disgrace.</p>
<p>The buzz of gossip began to grow again. Sidney went over towards Charlotte and Clara. Leon watched out of the corner of his eye as Sidney put his hand on Charlotte’s shoulder and she briefly rested her forehead on his chin.</p>
<p>Sidney turned to Leon. “Thank you.” Leon nodded and walked away.</p>
<p>“Sidney,” said Charlotte. “I think I should take Clara home. Do you agree?”</p>
<p>“Sure,” said Sidney. “We can cover her last lesson. What about you, Charlotte?”</p>
<p>“It’s fine, I have a free period. We’ll have to cancel Drama Club tonight though.”</p>
<p>“Okay. Off you go then. I’ll… call you later, Charlotte?”</p>
<p>She smiled. “Please do. Bye then.”</p>
<p>“Come back to our flat, Clara,” said Charlotte, helping Clara up. “Esther’s home today, we’ll have something to eat and a cup of tea.” Clara nodded, mutely.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>***************************************************</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Wednesday was another busy day. Charlotte felt tired and was behind on her marking. The police had come to the flat on Tuesday afternoon and spent several hours taking a statement from her, and from Clara. After that, Clara had stayed long into the evening, talking to her and Esther. She had agreed to Esther’s offer to arrange some counselling for her and they had also planted the idea in her mind of finding an outside interest, a local orchestra perhaps. There was bound to be something suitable in Brighton. Later, Sidney had phoned her and they had talked for ages and ages until they were both more than ready to go to sleep.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Charlotte didn’t see Sidney until lunchtime, in the canteen. He was just finishing his meal and about to leave as she sat down at the table.</p>
<p>He gave her a broad grin. “Hi, having a good day?”</p>
<p>“Yeah good,” she smiled. “Busy.”</p>
<p>He lingered a while, one hand in his pocket, the other holding his tray. “Anything um... exciting happen today?”</p>
<p>“No, not really.” She yawned. “Sorry, bit tired.”</p>
<p>“Alright, see you later.” He looked slightly disappointed.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>At 4pm, Charlotte had had enough and decided to take her marking home with her. Maybe she’d have a nap first. She was just passing the main reception when Miss Bates stopped her.</p>
<p>“Oh, Miss Heywood! Now let me see, where did I put them? Oh my goodness, I’m so sorry Miss Heywood, they came at lunchtime but we’ve been so busy today, and as I was saying to Karen, we ought to have put them in some water, in fact I told her to, but then we had the police here again – the police, can you believe Miss Heywood?! – and there was such excitement, we forgot. Do you know what’s going on Miss Heywood? Because Julie said it was something to do with Mr Denham, you know the Geography teacher, he’s not been in school today, but I can’t really see what... oh here they are!”</p>
<p>Smiling excitedly, she flourished a huge bunch of flowers in Charlotte’s face. White, pink and red roses.</p>
<p>“Are they for me?” asked Charlotte, surprised.</p>
<p>“Yes of course, my dear, though I’m afraid they’re looking a little wilted now, I’m terribly sorry, but I’m sure if you pop them in some water when you get home, they’ll be as right as rain by the morning. My mother always said you should use a little apple cider vinegar and a little sugar, yes that’s what I recommend, none of that rubbish they give you in the shops.”</p>
<p>Charlotte took the flowers. Just then, she felt a presence behind her and turned round to see Sidney, dressed in jeans and jacket, his bike helmet in his hand.</p>
<p>“Nice flowers, Miss Heywood. Got an admirer have you? Bit late. Valentines was two days ago.”</p>
<p>She blushed, trying to catch his eye, but his expression was deadpan.</p>
<p>“Oh yes, Miss Heywood,” continued Miss Bates, “I wonder who they’re from? Aren’t you going to open the card? How exciting! Such fun!” She rubbed her hands together.</p>
<p>“But if they’re Valentines flowers, there won’t be a name, will there?” said Charlotte coyly.</p>
<p>“Well!” exclaimed Miss Bates. “Surely you must have some idea?” She glanced suspiciously at Sidney.</p>
<p>“I think Miss Heywood probably has a good idea,” Sidney said smoothly. “Come on, I’ll carry your bag if you like, Miss Heywood, so you can hold the flowers.” He smiled at her, his mouth twitching. Taking Charlotte’s bag stuffed with books, he escorted her to the door.</p>
<p>“Goodnight Miss Bates!” Miss Bates peered after them curiously then ran to the window to watch them as they walked towards the school gates.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Charlotte laughed. “You are funny.” She looked up at him shyly. “Are they... from you?”</p>
<p>“I don’t know Charlotte, perhaps you’d better read the card.” They were at the bike racks and he began to unlock his bike.</p>
<p>Charlotte opened the card and read:</p>
<p>
  <em>‘To the most wonderful woman I know. I love you. Sorry it’s late xx’</em>
</p>
<p>She looked up at him, smiling. “It doesn’t say who they’re from. But...” she grinned, “they do look quite similar to Esther’s.”</p>
<p>“Oh yeah,” he ran his hand through his hair, “Brad sent me the link. Sorry, I’m not very original.”</p>
<p>“They’re beautiful, Sidney. Thank you.”</p>
<p>“Well you should have had them at lunchtime. Bloody woman.” He nodded in the direction of the office.</p>
<p>“I think she’s still watching us, you know.”</p>
<p>“Yep. Come on, let’s go.”</p>
<p>They left the school gates and he slipped his arm around her as they walked in contented silence.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Sidney, everyone seems to know now. People heard what Edward said in the staffroom yesterday, and Leon knows, so does Dan, even Mrs Denham seemed to be putting two and two together. Does it matter?” She looked up anxiously.</p>
<p>“Nah,” he said, hugging her tighter. “I couldn’t care less. Anyway, it’s my final interview tomorrow.”</p>
<p>“Oh, of course! What time do you have to be there?”</p>
<p>“Nine. I’ll be out all day.” He stopped and looked at her. “Look, I’ve got a lot to prepare tonight. I really ought to get home. I’m a bit nervous, actually.”</p>
<p>“Don’t worry, Sidney. Just be yourself. They’ll love you, I know they will. Let me know how it goes.”</p>
<p>“Thanks, I’ll call you tomorrow once I’m finished.” They had reached the seafront. Resting his bike against the esplanade railings, he took her in his arms, as best as he could with her bag on his shoulder and the bunch of flowers to the side.</p>
<p>“Can I say goodnight here?” he asked.</p>
<p>“Sure. But only if you kiss me.”</p>
<p>He leaned down and gently kissed her lips several times, then sighing and pulling her closer, kissed her more deeply. He was losing himself in her again.</p>
<p>Just then, they heard some shouting close by.</p>
<p>“Alright, Miss!” “Hey, Miss Heywood!” “Alright, Mr Parker!”</p>
<p>They looked up to see several Year 10 boys, including Joe Braithwaite, doing impressive wheelies along the seafront, grinning and waving at them.</p>
<p>Sidney looked at Charlotte and burst into laughter. “Sorry. Looks like the cat’s well and truly out the bag.”</p>
<p>“You’d better get that job then, Mr Parker,” she smiled cheekily. “Good luck.” Taking her bag from him, she planted another kiss on his lips and made her way home.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Okay, I know the police officers ought to get there before Sidney, but again, dramatic licence... he needs his moment :)</p>
<p>I didn’t like the new Emma (2020) as much as the version with Jonny Lee Miller &amp; Romola Garai (2009) but I did like Miranda Hart as Miss Bates 😊</p>
<p>Baggy Trousers – Madness (1980)<br/>Together Again - Janet Jackson (1997</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0045"><h2>45. A Passionate Woman</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Well, it’s in the title… Charlotte receives a late night visitor… there are explicit descriptions, interspersed with conversation… </p>
<p>I’m probably never going to be happy with this chapter, but let’s just get on with it, shall we, it’s been long enough I think…!</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p>Charlotte thought about Sidney all day long on Thursday, wondering how he was getting on. When she walked into her Year 10 class in Period 3, she blushed a little when she saw Joe and his mates sitting at the back, grinning at her, but fortunately, they didn’t make any comment. Joe had actually begun to show some interest in English over the year, and there was every chance he might even pass his GCSE. He wasn’t quite as stupid as he liked to pretend.</p>
<p>That evening, after completing her marking, she decided to have an early night and read in bed. She hadn’t heard much from Sidney apart from a brief text conversation when he’d sent her a thumbs-up. Presumably that meant it had gone well. He hadn’t called her however; never mind, he must have had a hectic day, she’d speak to him tomorrow.</p>
<p>She was yawning over her book at about 10.30 when she heard the buzzer go. She waited. She really couldn’t be bothered to get out of bed; who could it be? Probably some pizza delivery guy who had the wrong flat. It buzzed again and she heard Esther come out of her room and go to answer it. Charlotte leaned back against her pillows and continued reading.</p>
<p>Suddenly, there was a knock on her door. Esther’s head appeared round the corner, looking slightly grumpy. She’d obviously been asleep.</p>
<p>“Visitor, Charlotte!”</p>
<p>She looked up to see another head poke around the door, grinning. It was Sidney. Esther disappeared and Sidney came in the room and shut the door. He was wearing his long black coat and his hair was wet; it must be raining outside.</p>
<p>“Hi Charlotte.” He took her in. Pyjamas, hair in ponytail, nose screwed up concentrating on her book. Just how he’d imagined her. Adorable.</p>
<p>“What are you doing here? I wasn’t expecting you!” She jumped out of bed and came towards him, smiling.</p>
<p>He took off his coat, discarding it on a chair, running his hands through his wet hair.</p>
<p>“I got the job.” He grinned broadly.</p>
<p>She leaped into his arms and he lifted her up and whirled her round the room, laughing, then plonked her on top of the table in the corner.</p>
<p>“Oh you clever, clever man,” she squealed. He moved towards her as she sat on the table in her pyjamas. Wrapping his arms round her, he reached down to kiss her.</p>
<p><em>God</em>, he thought. <em>I could take her right here, on this table.</em></p>
<p>Instead, he lifted her up again, twirled her round once or twice, then they collapsed giggling onto the bed. His body was on top of hers, very close, his face only inches away, still laughing. Suddenly, his expression grew serious as he leaned forward to kiss her. His arms wrapped around her, he planted kisses all over her face and neck, his lower body pressing against hers. She suddenly felt an overwhelming need to feel him inside her.</p>
<p>“Sidney,” she whispered, “have you got a condom?”</p>
<p>He lifted his head, eyes wide. “Err.. no I haven’t. I didn’t come here with that in mind, you know. Um... do you?”</p>
<p>“Well, I did.” She frowned. “But Esther nicked them the other day. I could go and ask her.”</p>
<p>“I don’t think Esther will be that happy if we wake her up again. She was pretty pissed off when she answered the door.”</p>
<p>His breath was very close to her face and she could feel his mounting excitement pressing against her leg.</p>
<p>“Can’t we... just do it anyway?” she whispered.</p>
<p>“Charlotte...” he pulled away a little.</p>
<p>“Oh, I’m in the middle of my cycle.” She frowned. “Sorry.” No wonder her ovaries were going into overdrive. She felt as if she could fall pregnant just from the sound of his voice.</p>
<p>He shifted his position to the side, reaching to stroke her hair. “It’s okay. There’ll be another time. Very soon. I’ve got several boxes in my house, I stocked up recently.” He grinned cheekily.</p>
<p>“So tell me what happened, anyway,” she said, quickly changing the subject, although more than a little disappointed.</p>
<p>“Well,” he continued stroking her hair, “in the end, only two of us were there today, and at the end of the day, the head told me that they wanted to offer me the job. In fact, she said they’d wanted me right from the start, but of course they had to go through the process.” He blushed.</p>
<p>“Well of course, Mr Parker, why wouldn’t they? Oh, I’m so proud of you.” She kissed his nose.</p>
<p>“And then the head invited me out for dinner,” he grinned. “We only just finished and I came straight over here. If I’d known what kind of mood you were in, I’d have stopped off at home and raided my condom stash.”</p>
<p>“She invited you for dinner? Really? I hope she hasn’t got the hots for you,” teased Charlotte.</p>
<p>He smiled. “My mum used to use that expression.”</p>
<p>“Mine does too. Well, what’s she like?”</p>
<p>“Oh she’s about my age, pretty good-looking you know, single...”</p>
<p>“Sidney! I don’t believe you.” She punched him in the stomach.</p>
<p>“Okay, maybe not. She’s about 50, married with three children. She’s very nice, but you know... middle-aged.”</p>
<p>“Hmm,” said Charlotte, “I’m sure there are many middle-aged women who wouldn’t be immune to your charms. What’s her name?”</p>
<p>“Mrs Fletcher. Linda. Anyway,” he said, “I told her about you. She wanted to know why I was making a sideways career move, as it were.”</p>
<p>“What did you say?”</p>
<p>“That I’d been bewitched by a beautiful mermaid....” He buried his head on her chest.</p>
<p>“I don’t look much like a mermaid right now.” She laughed.</p>
<p>“Oh, I like you in pyjamas...”</p>
<p>“Really?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, easier access, you know...” He slipped his hand under her top and stroked her stomach. Then he gently tickled her.</p>
<p>“Hey! Stop it!”</p>
<p>“Ticklish are you? Where, here? What about there?”</p>
<p>She squealed, squirming in his arms and giggling. “Stop it!”</p>
<p>After half a minute or so, he relented. Leaning down to kiss her, he moved his hand upwards, caressing her breasts. Gently, he tweaked her nipple, rubbing it between his finger and thumb.</p>
<p>“Oh Sidney...”</p>
<p>Opening the front of her top, he buried his face inside, teasing her nipple with the tip of his tongue.</p>
<p>As he did so, his hand reached down inside her pyjamas, stroking her soft hair, his thumb rubbing back and forth on her clitoris. She moaned softly.</p>
<p>Raising his head from her breasts, he looked into her eyes.</p>
<p>“Charlotte,” he said in a sensual whisper. “Tell me what you like. Show me what you do. When you’re on your own.” Sitting up, he removed his jacket and his watch, placing it on the table beside them, kicked his shoes off, then pulled her pyjama bottoms right down and leaned in on her again. “Go on. Show me.”</p>
<p>She looked embarrassed. “I can’t.”</p>
<p>“Yes you can. Come on.” Those deep tones again, suggestively sexy, yet somehow warmly comforting.</p>
<p>Taking his hand, she led him down between her thighs.</p>
<p>“Here. That’s right. Yeah. Like that. Gently. Oh Sidney. Yes. Yes.” As she wrapped her hand over his, his palm moved back and forth over her lips, his thumb gently teasing her clitoris. He observed her face intently, her eyes closed, her lips parted, a flush beginning to spread from her neck down to her breasts. Gently, he bit her bottom lip, her chin, her ear lobe, her neck, then back to her nipple.</p>
<p>“Inside. More fingers. Deeper. Oh yes. That’s it. That’s it.” He reached deep inside her, curving his fingers to meet her pulsating warmth. She was so wet. “Faster. Go on.” Pressing against her quivering wetness, his fingers thrust up and down as she cried out, her body shuddering as a warm rivulet ran out over his hand and wrist.</p>
<p>She kissed his neck, his ears, biting his chin as she dug her fingers into his shoulder, her body writhing. “Go on. Do it again. Don’t stop,” she panted.</p>
<p>“Oh.” Finally, she collapsed back against the pillow, her eyes open wide, breathless and speechless. He kept his hand in place, still stroking her with his thumb.</p>
<p>“Wow,” he said. “You’re pretty good at that.”</p>
<p>She smiled. “Well, you’re a fast learner, Mr Parker.”</p>
<p>He leaned over to kiss her, pressing his body tightly against her, losing himself in her again. She reached down and unbuckled his belt, slipping her hand right inside his tight trunks, not surprised to find that he was bursting out of them, extremely hard yet so beautifully smooth. Gripping him tightly, her hand moved slowly up and down his cock as he groaned into her ear.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh sod this!” she exclaimed, and jumped up from the bed, pulling up her pyjamas.</p>
<p>“Where are you going?” he asked, surprised.</p>
<p>“I’ll be right back, just hold on to that,” she pointed, and disappeared from the room.</p>
<p>Charlotte crept quietly into Esther’s room and carefully opened her bedside drawer. My god, she thought, how many vibrators does one girl need? Fortunately Esther didn’t wake up. Shortly afterwards, she made a reappearance, brandishing a couple of small packets.</p>
<p>“Found some!” she grinned, handing one to him.</p>
<p>Sidney laughed. “You sure?”</p>
<p>“Sure? Am I sure? For god’s sake, Sidney, don’t you think we’ve waited long enough?”</p>
<p>“Well… yeah, you have a point.”</p>
<p>“Come on then.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Charlotte quickly threw off her pyjamas and laid back on the bed, watching Sidney admiringly as he scrambled out of his clothes. As he undressed, he gazed down at her, her chestnut brown curls spreading across the pillow, her rosy pink nipples enlarged by excitement, the soft curve of her hips and her gently parted thighs.</p>
<p>Slowly, he lowered himself down on her, unable to utter a word. As they looked intently into each other’s eyes, she reached out for him and guided him inside her. Very slowly. Briefly, she closed her eyes in ecstasy. My god, even better than she’d ever imagined. He kept his eyes fixed on hers as he teased her, slowly moving in and out, little by little, a small smile at the corner of his mouth as he watched her bite her bottom lip, screwing her eyes shut. As he reached down to kiss her, she whispered something in his ear, something that both amused and most definitely aroused him. Hoisting himself up, he began to thrust a little faster and deeper, still watching her reactions. He thrust deeper still as she turned her head into the pillow, clinging onto his hips, her fingers reaching round and digging into his back.</p>
<p>“Oh yes! Oh my GOD that’s good,” she cried out. Her eyes were shut tight and her hair was half across her face, messy and wild. He focused his gaze on the wall behind her, in a bid to stop his excitement from overcoming him. Harder and harder, faster and faster he went, as her responses became increasingly vocal. Suddenly, she swung her legs up and put them on his shoulders. He reared back, grabbing hold of her ankles tightly. Now, as well as feeling every inch of her, he could watch his own cock thrusting even deeper inside, inside the woman he loved. They smiled at each other in wonder, the erotic sensations taking over every nerve in their bodies, the movement of their bodies erasing any thoughts from their minds. Overcome with emotion and passion, he climaxed with a loud shout of joy.</p>
<p>Staying in the same position, he continued his rhythm, slowing down the pace, not wanting to be parted from her. She stroked his thighs, holding them close to hers, not wanting to lose him either. He shook his head in amusement and wonder at her sensual enthusiasm. Then he lowered himself down and held her close for a long time, not saying anything, breathing into her hair as she softly stroked his firm shoulder blades. Moving to the side, he kissed her tenderly then, propped up on one elbow, gazed down at her and laughed softly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Sidney. Are you laughing at me?” she asked, frowning a little.</p>
<p>“I’m not laughing at you. I’m just happy.” He laid his head on her chest and she ran her fingers gently through his soft, dark brown hair. He didn’t want her to see the tears in his eyes.</p>
<p>“Good god,” she said, after a few moments of delicious silence, “we should have done this months ago.”</p>
<p>“Yep,” he replied, “Sorry.”</p>
<p>Lifting his chin up with her fingers, she regarded him seriously. “No going back okay? And no more arguments.”</p>
<p>“Oh come on, Charlotte, you really think we’ll never argue?” he chuckled.</p>
<p>“Well then, no going to bed on an argument. That’s what my mum always says. Don’t let the sun go down on a quarrel, even if you have to talk all night to sort it out. They’ve been married 35 years, you know. So,” she checked off on her fingers, “No more secrets, no going to bed on an argument and…” she grinned cheekily at him, “lots more sex. Agreed?”</p>
<p>“You don’t ask for much do you, Miss Heywood?” he smiled, moving up the bed and kissing her passionately.</p>
<p>Leaning over, he picked up his watch from the table.</p>
<p>“God, it’s nearly midnight. I’d better go.”</p>
<p>She held him tight. “Stay.” She snuggled into his chest, stroking the dark hair on his stomach.</p>
<p>“I would, but I err... I have to go to London early tomorrow morning.”</p>
<p>“London? Why?” She was surprised.</p>
<p>“Um... just an errand I have to do for someone. I’ll be back in school before lunch. How about… can I take you out for dinner tomorrow night?”</p>
<p>“Sure. Where? Don’t tell me, Vincenzo’s?”</p>
<p>He smiled. “Unless you can think of anywhere better. Then we’ll head over to Brighton Saturday morning?”</p>
<p>“Okay.” She kissed him. “This bed’s a bit small, anyway, to be honest. I don’t think we’d get much sleep.”</p>
<p>“No. Not just because of the bed either.” He grabbed her round the waist and started tickling her again, growling into her neck.</p>
<p>“Stop it!” He let her go and they lay silently for a while.</p>
<p>“The police have charged Edward, you know,” Sidney said quietly, breaking the silence.</p>
<p>“Really?”</p>
<p>“Yep, Dan phoned me today. Could end up in prison.”</p>
<p>“Christ. I hope he does. His poor wife though, and his kids...”</p>
<p>“Hmm. Maybe she’ll finally see sense. How’s Clara?”</p>
<p>“Not bad. She’s going to come back to work next week. Esther’s arranging some counselling for her.” Charlotte frowned. “She says Clara has...um... marks on her arms.”</p>
<p>“What, from Edward?” Sidney looked aghast.</p>
<p>“No, from herself.” Charlotte looked down sadly. “I wondered why she never rolled her sleeves up.”</p>
<p>“Shit,” said Sidney. “How sad. And she’s so talented.”</p>
<p>“I know. Hopefully she can just focus on her music for a while.” She sighed.</p>
<p>“My brother went off the rails for a bit, you know,” said Sidney, looking up at her.</p>
<p>“Arthur?”</p>
<p>“Yeah. He was only 18 when mum and dad died. He dropped out of college and... well he took a lot of drugs and stuff, slept around. Bit of a self-destructive path. Diana kept an eye on him, but what can you do? You can’t force someone to change their ways. Anyway, he’s grown up a bit now. He even has a steady boyfriend.” Sidney smiled.</p>
<p>“Is it strange at all, Sidney... I mean like, both your brother and sister being gay?” she asked awkwardly.</p>
<p>“Strange? No, why should it be?” he said, surprised. “They’re just my brother and sister. As long as they’re happy, what does it matter?” He shrugged.</p>
<p>“Right, I’d better go.” He started to get up from the bed, but then paused, laughing and shaking his head.</p>
<p>“What is it?”</p>
<p>“I only came round to tell you my news, I wasn’t expecting that. Not that I’m complaining. I think I’ll have to start carrying condoms round in my pocket, in case you get an urge.” He stroked her cheek.</p>
<p>“What, even at school?” she teased.</p>
<p>“Hmmm,” he said, “especially at school. Where would you like it then, Miss Heywood? Over my desk?” He tweaked her nipple gently.</p>
<p>“Oh. Predictable.”</p>
<p>“On the floor then? Or I’ll sit back in my chair and you can...”</p>
<p>“What about up against the sink in the staffroom?” she breathed. He was still rubbing her nipple; the sensation was making her rather dizzy and her mouth was going dry.</p>
<p>“Charlotte, I’m starting to think you have some sort of sink fetish...”</p>
<p>She giggled. “Anywhere you like, Mr Parker. I’m really not fussy.”</p>
<p>“You’d have to be a bit quieter at school, you know. You probably woke Esther up just now,” he grinned, squeezing her breast.</p>
<p>“Ah well, give her a taste of her own medicine,” she laughed. “Sidney… oh…” she whimpered, as he leaned forward and sucked her nipple hard.</p>
<p>She took his hand again, placing it between her legs.</p>
<p>“Yes? Do you want something?” he asked, lifting his head.</p>
<p>“Please?”</p>
<p>“Sure. It’d be my pleasure,” he said, as his fingers reached inside her and pressed against her once more, teasing out an almost instant orgasm.</p>
<p>“Oh my god, I love you Sidney Parker,” she breathed into his ear.</p>
<p>“Why? Because I make you come?”</p>
<p>She laughed. “Well yeah, mainly. And the rest.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She could feel his cock, already hard, pushing back and forth against her hipbone. “I want you Charlotte,” he whispered urgently, as he rolled on another condom. Facing each other, side by side, he gently entered her. In a strange way, it felt as if part of his soul was entering her too, never to be removed. They watched each other’s bodies in wonder as they rocked back and forth. Feeling the need to be deep inside her, he rolled her over onto her back. This time, he was slow and tender, his body pressed close against her, kissing her continually, as she wrapped her legs tightly round his back, clinging on to his shoulders. Exquisitely sensual and lovingly erotic, this time they climaxed together, groaning softly into each other’s necks. They lay in wondrous silence for a long time, holding each other close, skin to skin, scents intermingled. Looking at her, he saw her cheeks were wet with tears.</p>
<p>“Hey, what’s the matter?” he asked, concerned.</p>
<p>“Nothing,” she smiled. “I’m just so happy.”</p>
<p>He kissed her. “Me too.”</p>
<p>“Shall we cancel my birthday date on Saturday? We could just spend the whole day in bed?” she smiled flirtatiously.</p>
<p>“If you like,” he chuckled, stroking her hair.</p>
<p>“I’m only joking. It would be the best birthday present ever though. Lots and lots of sex.”</p>
<p>“Well, I’ll do my best to keep up with you, Miss Heywood. Now I really must go home.”</p>
<p>She watched him intently as he stood up and got dressed. Then he leaned over the bed to kiss her.</p>
<p>“Goodnight, beautiful. I’ll see myself out.”</p>
<p>And he was gone. Charlotte stretched out lazily in the bed, turned the lamp off and fell straight to sleep.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thanks to Theo James (and Billie Piper) for a very inspiring scene from A Passionate Woman (2010). Phew…</p>
<p>It Must Be Love – Madness (1981)<br/>“As soon as I wake up<br/>Every night, every day<br/>I know that it’s you I need<br/>To take the blues away”</p>
<p>The lovely thing about writing fan fiction is you can put yourself in the story and take Sidney Parker out for dinner... He was charming but he's obviously madly in love with Charlotte.<br/>About the self-harm reference – it was shocking the first time I saw Clara burn her arm on that boiler. However, I'd like Esther to help her rather than dig her nails in...</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0046"><h2>46. Vincenzo's</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A fluffy chapter for the last day of term.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>Friday. The last day of school before the half term holiday. Charlotte was humming happily to herself in the kitchen when Esther came in, yawning.</p><p>“Bloody hell, you’re up early Charlotte. What’s wrong with you? And why have you got that massive grin on your face? Something to do with your late night visitor?” She raised an eyebrow.</p><p>“Might be,” smiled Charlotte mysteriously. “He didn’t go home till nearly one in the morning…”</p><p>Esther nearly dropped the teacup she was getting out of the cupboard. “You didn’t actually do it, did you?” she snorted.</p><p>Charlotte nodded, grinning. “Twice. Well, more than twice. I suppose it depends how you count it.”</p><p>“Hallelujah!” laughed Esther. “You two must have broken the world record for foreplay – what is it, nearly six months since you first met?”</p><p>“I guess.” Charlotte blushed. “It was worth waiting for though. It was… emotional.”</p><p>“I bet.” Esther gave her a hug, then drew back, regarding Charlotte curiously. “You know, I could swear somebody came in my room last night. And my drawer was open this morning.”</p><p>Charlotte laughed. “Well, you nicked my condoms last week when Bradley was round. You could have at least left me a couple!”</p><p>“Ha!” laughed Esther. “I was worried they might go past their use-by date. We’re going to have to stock up then, aren’t we Charlotte?”</p><p> </p><p>Charlotte had a busy day and didn’t spot Sidney until lunchtime, when he passed her in the canteen and flashed her a lovely smile. He looked different somehow, but she couldn’t quite put her finger on it.</p><p>Later, he sent her a text.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>- Hi gorgeous. I’ve got to go and tell Mrs D the good news later, so I’ll see you tonight ok? 7.30 at the restaurant?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Ok. Any chance you could pick me up?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Might be tricky. Got a couple of errands to run. Meet you there?</em>
</p><p>Charlotte frowned. Why was he being so mysterious?</p><p>Sighing, she typed in her reply.</p><p>
  <em>- No problem. See you there. Good luck with Mrs D.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Thanks. By the way, I can’t stop thinking about last night… </em>
</p><p><em>- Me neither. </em> <em>😊</em></p><p>
  <em>- See you later, can’t wait. Love you xx</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Love you xx</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Curious and curiouser. First he went off to London and wouldn’t say why, now he had mysterious errands to run. Oh well, it was Friday. Maybe she could have a quick drink in the Crown with some of the other teachers; they were bound to be going tonight, seeing as it was half term. She hadn’t told anyone it was her birthday tomorrow but it would be nice to have a drink at least.</p><p>After school, she went to the staffroom to see who she could spot.</p><p>“Hi there, Molly. Anyone going to the Crown tonight?” she smiled hopefully at one of the young Science teachers.</p><p>“Oh sorry Charlotte,” said Molly, “got to dash. I’m off to London for the week.”</p><p>“Leon, you going?” Charlotte asked, with a shy smile.</p><p>“No, sorry Charlotte, I’ve got other plans.” He shrugged. “Have a good half term though.”</p><p>“Oh, okay, cheers, you too.”</p><p>No one else seemed to be around. Charlotte felt a little crestfallen. Oh well, at least she was seeing Sidney later. She walked home slowly along the seafront. The wind was whipping up and it was starting to rain. By the time she reached the flat, she was pretty tired. There was a note from Esther on the kitchen table.</p><p>
  <em>C – gone round to meet Brad’s mother! Yikes. Then we’re going out later. Have a great time tonight. E xx</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>Charlotte smiled a little wistfully. She would never get to meet Sidney’s mother or father. But she was looking forward to meeting Mary, Diana and the others; he’d promised to take her over for lunch soon. She wondered if she could persuade him to come down to Dorset for a couple of days next week; it would be lovely to introduce him to her parents and even better if he could drive her there. It was such a pain going on the train. Only thing was, her mum was quite strict about boyfriends sleeping in the same bed. That would be a bit weird if Sidney had to go in a separate room, as James had done when he visited. Never mind, she could always try to sneak down the corridor.</p><p>She decided to have a shower to freshen herself up, but after she emerged from the bathroom she felt sleepy, so had a lie down on the bed. Memories of what had happened last night came back to her and she smiled. Delicious. Really must change the sheets though. She began to drift off.</p><p>She awoke with a start. <em>Fuck! It was 6.45.</em> She had planned to walk to the restaurant; perhaps she still could if she got a move on. But what on earth was she going to wear? She didn’t really want to go all out with a posh dress again. She rummaged quickly in her wardrobe. That would do. A denim mini skirt and a low cut black top. Hmm, nice amount of cleavage, not too much. She quickly put on a small amount of make-up and a dash of red lipstick and mussed her hair up with her hands. He liked it messy anyway. Grabbing her black boots, coat and a small bag, she left the flat at 7.10. She might be a bit late, but never mind.</p><p>It was 7.40 by the time she got to the restaurant. She was feeling a bit hot from walking so fast, and the sea spray had caught in her hair. She looked at her reflection in the window of a car parked outside, trying desperately to get her hair in some sort of order. As she opened the door of the restaurant, Vincenzo himself stepped forward to greet her.</p><p>“Good evening, madam. You’re looking lovely tonight, I must say.”</p><p>“Oh thank you,” she laughed, “Um... I’m meeting Mr Parker. Is he here?”</p><p>“Of course,” Vincenzo smiled. “Through here, my dear. You must be the birthday girl.”</p><p>He opened the door to the main dining room and she was met with a sea of faces, who looked up at her and started cheering.</p><p>“Here she is!” “At last!”</p><p>Her jaw dropped. There was a whole table full of teachers: Leon, Molly, Sally Fairfax, Clara, even Frances Price, with a mysterious gentleman next to her, Mr Ferrars and a woman who presumably was his wife, and several others. Plus Brad and Esther. Esther gave her a wave. On the end was Sidney, who stood up and beckoned her over, smiling. Then everyone began to sing Happy Birthday. She stood there, blushing.</p><p>“Please madam, let me take your coat,” said Vincenzo.</p><p>She walked over towards Sidney. “What’s going on?”</p><p>“Sorry.” He clasped her hands, shrugging his shoulders. “They all wanted to come. I couldn’t stop them. Happy pre-birthday Charlotte.” He leaned over and kissed her on the cheek.</p><p>“Oh,” she laughed. “It’s so lovely. I had no idea. Did you arrange all this?”</p><p>“Well, actually,” he blushed a little, “I mentioned to Dan that I was taking you out for dinner as it was your birthday, and he thought it would be nice for everyone to come. As a way of saying thank you to you for everything you’ve done this week. Everyone is delighted to see the back of Edward.”</p><p>“Me? It wasn’t just me.”</p><p>“Yes, but we couldn’t have done it without you. Come here.”</p><p>He pulled her towards him and gave her a big hug. Several of the teachers started clapping. Charlotte pulled back, slightly embarrassed.</p><p>Sally Fairfax popped up behind her. “Charlotte, this is for you. Happy Birthday.” She gave her a kiss on the cheek, handing her a large envelope.</p><p>“Oh thank you,” replied Charlotte. “That’s so sweet.” She opened it to find a huge birthday card, signed by all the teachers.</p><p>She looked at Sidney, suddenly feeling very emotional.</p><p>“Come on babe,” he said quietly. “Sit down, get yourself something to eat.”</p><p>“Yes please, I’m bloody starving!” she laughed.</p><p> </p><p>It was a lovely evening. Charlotte couldn’t believe that only a few short months ago, she had known none of these people. None of the teachers, nor Esther, who was fast becoming her best friend, nor Sidney, who was beginning to mean more and more to her every day. Although she often thought of Georgie and her life in London, that world seemed a million miles away now. Sanditon perhaps wasn’t the nicest seaside resort around, and there was only one decent restaurant and one decent pub, but it was beginning to feel like home. She squeezed Sidney’s hand under the table.</p><p>“Hey,” he said softly, “I forgot to say, you’re looking lovely tonight. Especially your hair.”</p><p>She laughed. “I fell asleep earlier. That’s why I was late. My hair looks like I just got out of bed.”</p><p>He leaned over and whispered sexily in her ear, “That’s why I like it so much.” His hand began to rove from her knee, up under her skirt, gently tickling her thigh.</p><p>She felt his breath against her ear once more. “You’re fucking gorgeous, Charlotte Heywood. Just as you are.”</p><p>She looked up at him, tears in her eyes.</p><p>He laughed. “You feeling emotional again? Are you always like this Charlotte?”</p><p>“Yes, I think I am. Can you put up with me?”</p><p>“Course I can.” He leaned across and kissed her.</p><p>“Sidney...” She looked around, a little embarrassed.</p><p>“Sssh,” he said and kissed her again, lingering for some time on her soft lips.</p><p> </p><p>“Look at that,” said Carol Ferrars to her husband. “Love’s young dream. We were like that once, weren’t we Dan?”</p><p>“What do you mean?” said Dan, squeezing her knee. “We still are.”</p><p>“If you say so, darling,” she smiled.</p><p>“Just a minute, dear…” Dan stood up and lightly tapped his wine glass with a fork.</p><p>“Everybody, could I just have a word?” he said to the table of teachers.</p><p>“As you all know, we’ve had rather a difficult week.” He looked around the restaurant, aware that the other tables of diners were watching them. “Several of you here have been very helpful in bringing things to a successful conclusion.” He glanced over at Clara, who looked down at her lap.</p><p>“So thank you to all of you,” he continued, smiling at Sidney. “But one person who really helped to bring all this together is Charlotte. And it’s Charlotte’s birthday tomorrow, so please could we all raise our glasses. “To Charlotte!” he beamed.</p><p>“To Charlotte!” everyone cried.</p><p>Charlotte smiled at everyone, nodding her head and mouthing “Thank you.”</p><p>Then she buried her head on Sidney’s shoulder again, who put his arm round her. “Come on,” he whispered, “eat your dinner, you big soppy thing.” She smiled at him and took a sip of her wine.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey look,” she whispered, nodding across the table. “I see Fanny Price has found herself a new bloke. Blimey, he looks like he works out a lot.” Next to Frances was a very buff young man with bulging biceps and a hint of a fake tan.</p><p>“Hmm,” frowned Sidney, “looks a bit pumped up, if you ask me. You like that kind of thing?” he raised an eyebrow at her.</p><p>“No,” she laughed, “not my type. You’re man enough for me.” She stroked his arm.</p><p>“Charlotte, why on<em> earth</em> do you call her Fanny Price? I don’t get it.”</p><p>“Fanny is short for Frances, isn’t it? Oh, I see what you mean, don’t worry, it’s Jane Austen.”</p><p>“Her again. She gets everywhere, doesn’t she?”</p><p>“She certainly does. You know what, this is a funny thing, I was reading an article about her the other day and it turns out that just before she died, she started writing a new novel, but the manuscript was lost. Nobody’s ever found it, they think perhaps her sister burned it. But the rumour was that it was based on Thomas Parker and his wife Maria, who used to live here, in Sanditon, in the 19<sup>th</sup> century. Have you heard of them?”</p><p>“Oh yes, I think so,” replied Sidney. “The guy who drowned himself after the great fire, is that right?”</p><p>“Yes. Funny they were called Parker though, isn’t it? Do you know if you’re related?”</p><p>“No,” he laughed, “I don’t think so. Diana looked into it once, but she couldn’t find any connection. Just a coincidence. And I’m sure he never had a brother called Sidney.”</p><p>“No, I guess not.” Charlotte mused. “Odd though, isn’t it?” She looked out the window at the sea spray lashing on the seafront and the candles burning on the table, and a shiver ran down her spine. She shook herself.</p><p>“Anyway, how was Mrs Denham? Was she upset?”</p><p>“She was alright. I think she expected it. We decided not to invite her tonight, though.”</p><p>“No. Good decision. She might finally work out who I am.”</p><p> </p><p>The teachers ate and drank long into the evening. Even Clara seemed to be enjoying herself a little, chatting to Esther and Bradley. At around 11, Charlotte started yawning.</p><p>“Oh sorry,” she said, “I’m really tired.”</p><p>“So am I,” said Sidney. “Somebody kept me up last night,” he squeezed her knee, “and I was up at six this morning to go to London.”</p><p>“Six? Sidney, why on earth did you go to London? I don’t get it.”</p><p>He tapped the side of his nose. “Never you mind. You’ll find out tomorrow, I promise. Also, I wanted to get a haircut.”</p><p>“A haircut? I thought you looked different. You went all the way to London to get a haircut?” Charlotte was perplexed. “Did you buy a piano while you were there?”</p><p>“Charlotte, what on earth you are talking about? Why would I buy a piano?”</p><p>She burst out laughing. “I don’t know, this evening is getting weirder and weirder. Maybe I should go home to bed.”</p><p>“Come on then.” He stood up and they made their goodbyes to the few people remaining at the table, then emerged into the cool night air. He put his arm around her as they walked along the street to his car. At the car, he stopped and leaned against the door, pulling her towards him.</p><p>“Charlotte, dearest Charlotte... do you mind... can I just drop you off? It’s kinda late and I’m really tired, it’s been a hell of a week. I’d like to... I don’t know, be a bit fresher tomorrow. But if you want me to come back with you, I will.”</p><p>She leaned against his chest. “It’s fine, Sidney. I understand, I’m tired too. Thanks for a lovely evening.”</p><p>He bent down and kissed her gently. Then they got in the car and drove to her flat.</p><p>“I’ll pick you up at 10.30 tomorrow, okay?”</p><p>They kissed again, then she disappeared inside.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>You just can’t get away from Jane Austen, can you?<br/>Sorry about killing off the original Tom. Maybe that was a bit mean!</p><p>P.S. Why do we count sex in terms of men's orgasms and not women's?</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0047"><h2>47. Perfect day</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The first half of Charlotte and Sidney's birthday date...</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>Saturday morning. For once, Charlotte was ready on time. She’d woken up early to a flurry of messages from her friends and family. She quickly rang her mum.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>- Hi darling, Happy Birthday! Haven’t heard from you in a while.</em>
</p><p><em>- Sorry mum, had a really busy week. Thanks for the card and the money, I got it yesterday. </em>She hadn’t told her parents anything about the events of that week, and wasn’t quite sure how to broach the subject.</p><p>
  <em>- You buy yourself something nice, darling. Doing anything special today?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Yes I am, actually.</em>
</p><p>She hadn’t mentioned Sidney to her mum since Christmas, and wasn’t quite sure what to say now.</p><p>
  <em>- Well?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Um, you remember I told you about that teacher at Christmas? Sidney?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Yes... the older one?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- He’s not that much older than me mum, only 6 or 7 years... </em>
</p><p>Little white lie.</p><p>
  <em>- Hmm. You’re seeing him then, are you?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Yes, and he’s taking me out today. We’re going to Brighton for the day, nothing flash. He’s really nice mum, honest. I... I really like him. He’s very kind.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Well, if you’re sure. You have a lovely day, darling.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Mum? Could I maybe bring him home for a couple of days next week? So you can meet him?</em>
</p><p>Jane was silent for a while.</p><p>
  <em>- Goodness me, Charlotte, this sounds serious.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Yes mum, I think maybe it is. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Well, of course you can. I’ll speak to your father.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Thanks mum, bye for now.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Bye darling.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>She put down the phone and looked out the window. It was a cold, grey day, with a hint of fog in the air. Not really a day for dressing up, unfortunately. She threw on some jeans, a low cut T-shirt and her cherry red sweater. Perhaps just a dash of make-up; it was her birthday after all.</p><p>Sidney was late. When he buzzed the intercom at 10.45, she ran down the stairs to meet him.</p><p>“Hi,” they said at the same time and stopped in their tracks, their eyes locking.</p><p>He thought she had never looked so beautiful; her eyes shining and luminous, her hair soft and falling around her shoulders. He exhaled, smiling at her shyly.</p><p>“Sorry I’m late, I forgot something and had to go back.”</p><p>He seemed awkward somehow, like a teenage boy on a first date. It was quite endearing, although the similarity stopped there: in his black jeans, black jacket, smart haircut and day-old stubble, he was very far from being a boy. Her insides melted as she gazed at him.</p><p>“Happy Birthday, gorgeous.” He leaned forward and kissed her gently. She threw her arms around his neck and kissed him back with pure passion.</p><p>“Wow,” he grinned. “I could get used to that.” Then he wiped his mouth. “Charlotte, what’s the point of wearing lipstick? It never stays on you very long.”</p><p>“Sorry,” she said, kissing him again.</p><p> </p><p>They jumped in the car and headed for Brighton, chatting easily along the way, listening to songs on the radio. It was a bitterly cold day, so they avoided the seafront and the pier, instead browsing in the shops, having a coffee, then later a light lunch. Meandering around the town, holding hands and chatting as if they’d known each other for years, everything felt fun, easy and effortless. The perfect day.</p><p>Finishing his pasta, a glass of white wine in his hand, Sidney leaned back in his chair.</p><p>“What do you fancy doing now then?”</p><p>“I don’t know,” she said, “bit cold for the beach, isn’t it?”</p><p>“I’ve got an idea,” he said, “there’s a park near here with a boating lake. Want to have a go?”</p><p>“Rowing boats? In February?” she laughed.</p><p>“Well, not rowing boats, more like pedal boats. It’s half term, it’s bound to be open.”</p><p>She pulled a face.</p><p>“Oh come on, it’ll be a laugh. Romantic, even.”</p><p>“If you say so,” she grinned. “You really know how to show a girl a good time, don’t you Sidney?”</p><p> </p><p>They strolled around the park for a while, holding hands, then approached the lake. A motley collection of boats were sitting idly at the side of the water, but no one was using them. A lone man stood there, wrapped up in hat, scarf and gloves, blowing on his fingers.</p><p>He looked up as he saw them approaching. “Want to hire a boat?” he asked gruffly. “It’s £5 for half an hour.”</p><p>Sidney handed him the money and they climbed gingerly into the boat.</p><p>“So what do we do?” asked Charlotte, “I’ve never done this before.”</p><p>“Really? I used to come here all the time when I was young.”</p><p>“Oh I see,” she said folding her arms, “with your never-ending string of girlfriends.”</p><p>“Well, maybe once or twice,” he grinned. “Come on, it’s fun. You just pedal and then you steer with this lever here in the middle. Go on, you try.”</p><p>They started pedalling and Charlotte attempted to steer, but went the wrong way and ended up hitting the bank.</p><p>“Oh dear, I can’t do two things at once. You steer, Sidney, I’m sure you’ve had much more practice with knobs than I have.” She giggled and caught his eye.</p><p>“Hmm,” he teased. “Not so sure about that after the other night.”</p><p>“Oi!” she punched his arm.</p><p> </p><p>He took over the controls and they drifted out into the middle of the lake.</p><p>“Bloody hell, this is hard work,” she said, pedalling furiously.</p><p>“Stop a while, then,” he said, gazing across at her tenderly. They slowed down.</p><p>“Hey, Charlotte,” he said shyly. “I’ve got something to give you. For your birthday.”</p><p>She turned to face him. He pulled something out of his pocket. A small box, a jeweller’s box. Her eyes opened wide.</p><p>“Sidney!”</p><p>“It’s not what you’re thinking, Charlotte,” he said, blushing. He handed her the box. “Go on, open it.”</p><p>She opened the lid to reveal a plain silver necklace with a heart pendant and small matching earrings.</p><p>He looked at her nervously, unsure of her reaction.</p><p>“Oh Sidney, it’s beautiful!” she exclaimed. “Oh my god, is it Tiffany’s?” she said, looking at the box.</p><p>“Um.. yeah. Do you like it?”</p><p>“I love it! Is that why you went to London?”</p><p>He smiled shyly. “Yeah. I know this little jeweller’s in Drury Lane. I wanted to get you something special. I told Mrs D that I had to go to Lewes again. It’s... it’s not too much is it?”</p><p>She looked up at him, tears in her eyes. “No, it’s perfect. I...” She was choked.</p><p>“Oh dear, Charlotte, all I seem to do is make you cry,” he laughed, tenderly.</p><p>She wiped her eyes. “It’s just... no one’s ever given me anything like this before. I don’t know what to say.”</p><p>“Why don’t you put the necklace on? Here, let me help you.”</p><p>He leaned over towards her. The boat was drifting across the lake, neither of them taking any notice of where it was heading.</p><p>She held up her hair at the back, trembling as his hands brushed against her neck. He bent his head and kissed the back of her neck lightly as he fastened the clasp.</p><p>He moved back a little to admire her. “There. Beautiful.”</p><p>“Thank you,” she whispered.</p><p>He placed his hands on her hips. “Come here.”</p><p>She shifted towards him, parting her lips, all the nerve ends in her body tingling.</p><p>Just as he came in for the kiss, he brushed her nose with his.</p><p>Suddenly, a voice called from the bank. “Sidney!”</p><p>He sat back abruptly, looked to the heavens and shut his eyes, sighing. He knew that voice.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Perfect Day – Lou Reed (1972)<br/>"It's such a perfect day, I'm glad I spent it with you..."</p><p>Did you really think we would get away without an appearance from her?? Don’t worry, she won't be around for long, I think I've given you enough agony already with this story...!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0048"><h2>48. Winning the race</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A chance for Sidney to redeem himself, perhaps... it's a bit silly, but...</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>Charlotte couldn’t believe it. It was her birthday, she was on a date with the most wonderful man in the world, and his bloody ex-wife had turned up.</p><p>As soon as Sidney had heard her calling, he’d pulled away from Charlotte, turned round and waved at the woman on the bank.</p><p>“Sidney, who is it?” hissed Charlotte, although deep down, she knew.</p><p>Looking down at the bottom of the boat, he grabbed the lever, his jaw tensing.</p><p>“It’s Eliza.”</p><p>He glanced across at Charlotte, who looked hurt and confused. “Look, we’ll just go and say hello. It won’t take a minute. I promise.”</p><p>She shot him a look. “Well, you can bloody pedal then.” She sat back in the boat.</p><p>As they approached the bank, she noticed that Eliza was not alone; she was accompanied by a smartly dressed, slightly portly man. She breathed a small sigh of relief.</p><p>Sidney looked across at Charlotte. “Charlotte, trust me. Please. I love you, remember.”</p><p>She said nothing.</p><p> </p><p>Sidney climbed out of the boat and offered a hand to Charlotte, who nearly stumbled into the water as the boat began to move away from the bank. In any other circumstances she would have laughed, but not now. She adjusted her coat and smoothed down her hair a little.</p><p>Standing in front of her was a woman, possibly about Sidney’s age, although it was difficult to tell as she had virtually no worry lines on her forehead and her big blue eyes seemed to have a permanently surprised look. She had long, blonde, perfectly coiffured hair, her face was immaculately made up and her trim figure was encased in a long, mustard yellow coat. She wore matching high-heeled boots and carried a matching handbag. There was something odd about the coat though, pondered Charlotte, the buttons didn’t quite seem to line up properly.</p><p>The man standing next to her was looking rather cross. Or bored. Or possibly both.</p><p> </p><p>“How lovely to see you Sidney,” simpered Eliza. “Not seen you since... oh, Belinda’s garden party I think, nearly two years ago.”</p><p>Sidney nodded. “That’s right.” There was a pause.</p><p>“Sidney,” laughed Eliza. “What about your manners? Aren’t you going to introduce me?”</p><p>Sidney huffed with irritation. He’d always hated it when she talked to him as if he was a ten year old boy.</p><p>“Charlotte,” he said graciously, “this is Eliza, my <em>ex</em>-wife. And this is her husband, Charles Hurst.”</p><p>“Hello,” said Charlotte, smiling sweetly, “nice to meet you.”</p><p>“And this,” continued Sidney, putting his arm around Charlotte, “this is my girlfriend, Charlotte.”</p><p><em>My girlfriend. </em>He’d nearly said ‘<em>my future wife’</em> but thought that might be going a bit far.</p><p> </p><p>“Nice to meet you Charlotte,” said Eliza politely. Charles nodded curtly. He still looked bored; his greying hair was a little greasy and there was a touch of redness around his nose. Charlotte remembered Esther’s conversation about fat bankers and suppressed a smirk.</p><p>“So,” continued Eliza, “are you from Sussex too, Charlotte?”</p><p>“No,” replied Charlotte, “I’m from Dorset actually.”</p><p>“A country girl, how lovely!” she tittered, looking Charlotte up and down, taking in her jeans, boots, H&amp;M coat, dishevelled hair and lack of make-up.</p><p>“So you must be a teacher too, now what subject, let me see if I can guess... I know,” she smiled, pointing her finger rather rudely, “Art. Or maybe Food Science.”</p><p>You could have cut the silence with a knife. "English, actually," replied Charlotte pointedly, her eyes narrowing. “What do you do, Eliza?”</p><p>“Oh, I don’t work,” laughed Eliza. “I have a child. I wouldn’t have time.” Charles coughed.</p><p>“Ah yes,” said Sidney, “and where is um... your daughter today then?”</p><p>“Her name is Isabella,” replied Eliza, a little tersely. “She’s with the nanny. Charles and I were just passing through the park to go to a tile shop on the other side. You see we’re getting a new kitchen and...”</p><p>She proceeded to tell them all about the new kitchen they were building in the farmhouse they’d recently purchased in rural Sussex, which they were in the process of converting.</p><p>“... and then we’re going to have a swimming pool put in where the cowsheds used to be.”</p><p>“But you don’t swim, Eliza,” said Sidney, smiling politely. Charlotte had the urge to giggle again.</p><p>“No, well, it’s not for swimming, it’s for... relaxing and entertaining.” She was barely smiling now.</p><p>“Charlotte and I much prefer the sea, don’t we? Much more intimate. Anyway, look, it’s been lovely to see you, but we really have to get going, don’t we darling?” He put his arm around Charlotte again. “You see, it’s Charlotte’s birthday today and we have dinner booked at the Grand.”</p><p>Eliza said nothing, pursing her lips. “Bit early for dinner,” huffed Charles.</p><p>“Ah well, we need to check into our room. Rather urgently in fact.” He gave Charlotte a conspiratorial wink.</p><p>“Well, happy birthday Charlotte,” said Eliza, with an effort. “Hope to meet you again sometime.” Her smile failed to reach her eyes.</p><p>“Enjoy your tile shopping,” said Sidney cheerfully, “Really must go. Bye!”</p><p> </p><p>He marched Charlotte away, pulling her by the hand. They walked swiftly out of the park, then began running, hand in hand, in the direction of the seafront. After a minute, they paused, both laughing.</p><p>Charlotte leaned forwards, her hands on her knees. “Oh Sidney, you are wicked,” she said breathlessly.</p><p>“Yes,” he grinned, “I rather enjoyed that.”</p><p>"Are we really going to the Grand?"</p><p>"Well I..." he faltered. "No. But we could always go to a hotel if you like?"</p><p>"I do like," she winked up at him.</p><p>“Come on,” he said, extending his hand, “let’s go for a walk on the seafront.”</p><p> </p><p>It was bitingly cold on the seafront; the fog was getting thicker and there was a distinct dampness in the air. Charlotte shivered. “More intimate in the sea, Sidney, we’ve never even been in the sea together,” she laughed.</p><p>“Well, maybe we can go skinny dipping in the summer,” he grinned. “Not today though. Let’s go and sit in here for a while.”</p><p>Taking her hand, he pulled her inside one of the Art Deco seafront shelters. They huddled on a bench against the cold, their hair spattered with sea spray.</p><p>“So,” said Sidney, putting his arm around her, “now do you understand why she’s my ex-wife? Although to be fair, she wasn’t quite as boring before she had all that bloody money.”</p><p>“She’s very pretty,” said Charlotte, wrinkling her nose.</p><p>“You think so?” He shrugged. “Expensively groomed, you mean. Like an Arab stallion.”</p><p>“Surely you mean a mare, Sidney, not a stallion.”</p><p>“Oh yes, definitely a mare. A right mare.” He laughed.</p><p>He shook his head in disbelief. “Why does she need a nanny when she doesn’t even work?”</p><p>“Well,” replied Charlotte, “it takes a lot of time, all that expensive grooming. Plus the Botox.”</p><p>“Yeah,” he laughed. “I thought she was looking a bit strange. What do you think of Charles then, he’s a catch isn’t he?”</p><p>Charlotte laughed. “He’s just like Esther said he would be.”</p><p>“Esther? Has she met him?”</p><p>“No, just her intuition. She said he would be a squeaker.”</p><p>“I’m sorry? What the hell is a squeaker?”</p><p>Charlotte couldn’t stop giggling. “It’s a man who squeaks when he comes, rolls over and starts snoring.” She looked up at him, grinning. “You don’t ever do that, do you Sidney?”</p><p>“What do you reckon, Charlotte?” He winked seductively.</p><p>“Oh, I don’t know anything about these things,” she said innocently. “But Esther said you’d be more like a wild animal.”</p><p>“Hmm, very perceptive, your friend Esther.”</p><p> </p><p>“Come here, Charlotte.” He held open his arms. “Come and sit on my lap.”</p><p>She looked round. The seafront was pretty deserted at that time in the afternoon.</p><p>Sitting on his lap, she put her arms around his neck and stroked his cheek.</p><p>“Thanks for the beautiful necklace, by the way. The earrings are in my pocket, I’ll put them on later.”</p><p>He kissed her nose gently and then his expression became serious.</p><p>“Charlotte. I could never be myself with her. She was always wanting me to be someone else, someone different. Look, I know I’m far from perfect, but... when I’m with you, I feel I can be myself. I feel like a boy again, I feel carefree. I can be my real self, my true self. That’s why I love you, Charlotte.”</p><p>Charlotte gazed into his deep brown eyes. “I love you too, Sidney.”</p><p> </p><p>Her lips moved nearer, parting for him. He gently gnawed her bottom lip and ran his tongue along her teeth. Then he began to kiss her passionately, so passionately she almost fell off his lap. Clasping him around the neck, she grasped his hair, pulling his face closer to her.</p><p>Breaking away from her lips, he began to kiss her nose, her cheeks, her eyes, her ears, her hair. As he did so, he undid the buttons on her coat and slipped his hand under her sweater, swiftly moving it up towards her breasts. Plunging his hand inside her T-shirt and inside her bra, he held her full breast in his hand, tweaking her nipple between his finger and thumb. She gasped.</p><p>He was now moving his kisses towards her neck, where his lips became more and more urgent, sucking on her skin, moving down towards her collarbone and burying his head in her hair. “Charlotte,” he groaned, “you don’t know what you do to me.” Lifting his head, he looked at her longingly.</p><p>She smiled, looking down at his jeans. “I can have a pretty good guess.” Just then an old couple passed by. Peering inside the shelter, they tutted loudly.</p><p> </p><p>“Sidney...” said Charlotte quietly. “It’s a little public here, don’t you think? And while I’m very glad I make you feel like a boy again, we’re not teenagers, are we? Plus, I’m bloody freezing.”</p><p>“So what’s your point?” He kissed her nose.</p><p>“Take me to a hotel. Now. Please.”</p><p>“We could just drive back to my house?”</p><p>“No, I’m sorry, but I can’t wait that long.”</p><p>He laughed and kissed her on the lips. “Neither can I.”</p><p>“Did you bring a condom?” she whispered.</p><p>“Yes,” he smiled, “three, actually. In my pocket. Nearly forgot, that’s why I was late.”</p><p>“So what are we waiting for?” she laughed.</p><p>Lifting her off his lap, he stood up and pulled her by the hand.</p><p>“Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Come on.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hoorah. That’s got rid of her! I would like to see her married to Mr Hurst from P&amp;P. It would serve her right.<br/>I also wanted to give Sidney the chance to redeem himself for that awful tent scene in Episode 7.<br/>You might have to wait a couple of days for the next chapter, as I’m travelling this weekend. But I hope it will be worth it once we get to the hotel…</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0049"><h2>49. The hotel</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Thank you for reading my crazy story this far! It's the first fiction I've ever written and I wrote the first draft in 6 weeks while stuck at home for various reasons. I realise it's a bit long and rambling perhaps, but that's how it happened...<br/>Posting chapters and getting feedback has been really useful though and I've changed and edited quite a bit, so thank you.<br/>I know it's taken a long time to get them happy and to get to the bedroom so thanks for your patience... There will be 6 more chapters, which I have been rewriting to include a trip to Willingden.<br/>There will be quite a few sex scenes, but it's all mingled in with the rest, as that's how life is. It's not too explicit (?) but you can skip those bits if you prefer.<br/>By the way, I changed one thing from the previous chapter, following feedback (thanks). </p><p>So, Sidney and Charlotte clearly need to make up for lost time... let's go to the hotel...</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span class="u">Part 5 – Bliss</span>
</p><p>
  <span class="u">February – July 2020</span>
</p><p> </p><p>They found a small seafront hotel with a VACANCIES sign in the window. Not quite The Grand, but pretty nice. Chintzy curtains, en suite bathroom, TV, little hospitality tray with tea and coffee. Most importantly, a huge bed. They took off their coats and stood there, looking around, not quite sure what to do first.</p><p>Sensing his apprehension, Charlotte sat on the edge of the bed and bounced up and down. "Seems fit for purpose," she grinned.</p><p>Smiling, he came and sat next to her, looking down at his hands.</p><p>“You okay?” she asked softly.</p><p>He nodded. “Look, I’m really sorry about what happened in the park. I panicked a bit. What a fool I am. And on your birthday too.” He put his head in his hands.</p><p>"Hey it's okay." She put her arms around him. "Forget about it. Hopefully we'll never see them ever again."</p><p>"Did it freak you out though?" he enquired, looking up.</p><p>"Well, a little," she admitted. "I was kind of surprised she wanted to talk to you. I mean, isn't she a bit embarrassed about what happened?"</p><p>He chewed his lip. "She was probably being nosy. And she likes to brush things off, you know, for the sake of social niceties."</p><p>"You could have just ignored her."</p><p>"Hardly. We were kind of trapped on that lake. Anyway, I wanted her to see how happy I am now." He put his arm around her and kissed her hair.</p><p>"Do you think she's jealous?"</p><p>"Jealous? What, of you?"</p><p>"No, not of me, but do you think she regrets what she did? I mean, her husband's rich and everything, but..."</p><p>"Honestly, Charlotte, I couldn't care less. He's welcome to her. And you can rest assured," he said, a serious expression on his face, "I would never, ever go back to her. Even if she begged me."</p><p>"Even if she gave you a million pounds?" She raised an eyebrow.</p><p>"Funny you should say that." He smiled wryly. "She offered me money, you know, after Tom went bankrupt. It wasn't long after the divorce had come through officially. Maybe she felt guilty, she got to keep most of the assets after all, I couldn't be bothered to fight with her." He paused, sighing.</p><p>"And?"</p><p>"It would have solved a lot of problems. But somehow I didn't trust her motivations. So I turned her down."</p><p>"Good decision." She patted his hand. There was a pause.</p><p>"Can I ask you something Charlotte? You don't have to answer, it's just been bugging me."</p><p>"What is it?"</p><p>"I remember you saying you saw James at New Year. Did anything...? Oh look, it's none of my business."</p><p>"No, of course not!" she laughed. "I bumped into him in a pub and had a brief chat. He was with his girlfriend."</p><p>"Hmm." Sidney regarded her with a small, suspicious smile. "That's not what you said at the time."</p><p>"I was probably trying to make you jealous," she giggled.</p><p>"Well, it worked. You saucy bitch."</p><p>He pushed her back onto the bed and they lay side by side, holding each other and gazing into each other's eyes. His lips came forward to meet hers gently, and she chewed on his bottom lip, then he moved in closer and kissed her more deeply.</p><p>He pulled away again. "You were trying to make me jealous with Leon as well, weren't you?" he smiled.</p><p>"I was not!" she frowned. "He's just a friend. I wasn't leading him on, honest. But I suppose his attention was... flattering. After all, you were pretty much ignoring me."</p><p>"I'm sorry. Forgive me." He leaned in and kissed her again.</p><p>"So, Miss Heywood, it's your birthday. What would you like to do?" He smiled seductively, his dark eyes flashing.</p><p>"Hmm," she smiled back. "Let me think... first of all..." She pulled up his sweater and they tugged it off over his head, his T-shirt coming off with it. Running her fingers down his broad chest, she traced the outline of his dark hair. Then her sweater came off too, and her T-shirt, which they flung on the floor. Sidney fumbled with the clasp of her bra. "Got it," he grinned. Charlotte slowly moved the straps off her shoulders and tossed the bra halfway across the room. Moving on top of her, he began kissing her breasts as she leaned back, her legs dangling over the side of the bed.</p><p>He looked up briefly. "My god, I love your breasts, Charlotte."</p><p>She laughed. "I noticed. Sometimes I think you love my breasts more than you love me."</p><p>"Oh no, that's not possible."</p><p>He continued kissing the space between her breasts, then moved down her stomach towards her jeans, unbuttoned them and pulled them off. Standing up, he took the condoms out of his pocket and placed them on the bedside table, then scrambled out of his clothes.</p><p>"Off." she commanded quietly, pointing at his trunks. He obliged. She smiled admiringly.</p><p>"And you," he said, pointing at her knickers.</p><p>"No," she replied, roving her tongue over her lips. "You take them off. With your teeth."</p><p>"I have an idea," he said, bending down next to her. "How old are you today? 27?"</p><p>She nodded.</p><p>"Well, let's see if we can make you come 27 times." He looked into her eyes, a roguish smile around his lips.</p><p>"Tonight?" her eyes wide.</p><p>"Well, over the weekend."</p><p>"Both of us?"</p><p>"No, just you. Give me a break. I'm a mere man. Plus I'm 36, not 16." He grinned. "But I'll do my best to keep up with you."</p><p>So saying, he bent down and tugged at her knickers with his teeth, smoothing his hands over her hips and easing them down gently, all the way to her ankles. Kissing her feet, he gradually worked his way up her ankles and calves, blowing gently and licking the inside of her thighs. His tongue then began to explore the wetness between her legs, reaching places she had never thought possible. As she bucked and sighed, she wrapped her thighs tightly around his head, grabbing his hair. She shouted out his name, along with several words that were not entirely ladylike. He responded to her instructions and before long, he was inside her, standing next to the bed and holding up her thighs as he fucked her slowly. Each time he entered, he would pause as he reached the hilt, wait for her panting to subside, then start again. Each time, their eyes locked as they smiled at each other mischievously.</p><p>Gradually his thrusts got faster and faster, deeper and deeper. He gazed down at her. Her back was arching, her head thrown back; he could see every contour of her slender neck, a deep flush spreading all the way from her face right down to her breasts. Eyes screwed shut, she was moaning loudly. He reached for his usual mental aids. Football. No, that made him think of Charlotte in a football kit. Cold water. No, that made him think of Charlotte in the sea. Algebra. That usually worked. But not for long. He erupted inside her with a primeval roar.</p><p>As his movements calmed, he opened his eyes to see her staring up at him in wonder. Lowering himself down, he gently kissed her face, unable to speak. He lay on top of her, inhaling the scent of her hair, breathing into her ear as she stroked his back and his head. “Look at me,” she whispered, feeling a little winded by the strength of his body bearing down on her. He lifted his head. “So beautiful,” was all he said, kissing her.</p><p> </p><p>They lay under the covers, cuddling each other, slightly breathless. Wrapping one arm around her, he pulled her in against his chest, where she rested, gently stroking his forearm.</p><p>Eventually he spoke. “Charlotte. Why the hell did we wait so long to do this?”</p><p>“God knows," she laughed. "Was it worth waiting for?”</p><p>“What do you think?” he grinned, kissing her on the nose.</p><p>“So when did you first... you know, think about me like that?”</p><p>“The first time I saw you, of course,” he replied, surprised. “Well, definitely the second time. When I saw you on the beach. Love at first sight.”</p><p>“I think you mean lust,” she laughed, “you weren’t exactly appreciating my intellect or my conversational skills.”</p><p>“Well,” he smiled, “what do you expect if you parade around in public in that swimsuit? What about me?”</p><p>“Oh, around the same time,” she grinned. “You were wearing very tight Lycra, as I remember.”</p><p>“Well then.”</p><p>“Well then.”</p><p>He started idly playing with her breasts again, tracing a line with his finger from her collarbone down to her stomach and back up again.</p><p>“Can I ask you something, Charlotte?”</p><p>“Yeah…?”</p><p>“What was your first impression of me? In the pub that night?”</p><p>“Oh Sidney, how could I form an opinion after such a short acquaintance?” she laughed.</p><p>“Go on, what did you think?”</p><p>“I thought… what’s a guy like him doing in a pub like this?” She chuckled at the memory. He was still tracing his finger up and down her stomach, then curving it over her breasts. It was becoming rather distracting.</p><p>“Good answer.”</p><p>“So what did you think of me, then?”</p><p>“I thought…” He gently kissed the space between her breasts. “something very similar. You were like a breath of fresh air in that pub. You and Georgie of course. But I only had eyes for you.” He chuckled. “If you want to know what else I said about you, you can ask Brad.” He was now gently teasing her nipple with his tongue. "Would you have come to the Crown with us, if Georgie had wanted to?"</p><p>“Well, yeah, I fancied you rotten.” She giggled. “But things wouldn’t have been any different, would they? We’d have found out we were going to be at the same school. You’d still have been my boss.” She frowned.</p><p>He lifted his head from her breasts. “Not necessarily. I could have allocated you a different mentor. No problem.”</p><p>She raised herself up on her elbows, forgetting about the nice things he had been doing to her breasts for the moment. “So you mean, we could have avoided all this drama? All this… shuffling around each other? We could have just got it together months ago, and nobody would have cared?”</p><p>“Well, not exactly. We'd still have had to... keep things professional for a while. But yeah, maybe. I did try to switch you over to Dan, remember, and you said no.”</p><p>“But… but… that was because you found me really annoying.”</p><p>“Partly." He laughed. "But also it was because I found you way too distracting. And," he said, a little more seriously, moving away from her breasts to hold her head in his hands, "I think it took me a while to process what was happening. That I was falling madly in love with you."</p><p>"Really?" she swallowed.</p><p>"Yeah. Truly, madly, deeply." He kissed her gently.</p><p>She laid back on the pillows, sighing. “Well, perhaps it was all for the best… perhaps we wouldn’t have got rid of Edward. And we wouldn’t have helped Clara. Who knows? And maybe… maybe we’re stronger together, because of everything that happened. Do you think?” She reached out for his hand and he held it tight.</p><p>“Yeah. I think so. No going back now.”</p><p>"No."</p><p>They wrapped their arms around each other tightly and kissed deeply. Then she pulled away and looked him in the eyes, stroking his stubble.</p><p>"Thanks for all this Sidney."</p><p>"For what?"</p><p>"For this - the hotel, the jewellery, the flowers you got me the other day. And you bought me lunch. You must let me buy dinner."</p><p>"No, no," he laughed softly, "it's your birthday. My treat."</p><p>"But I've never given you any presents," she frowned, "even for Valentines. I feel bad."</p><p>"It's enough being here with you. Finally." He stroked her hair. "Although..." he grinned, "I did quite like what you did in my kitchen the other weekend..."</p><p>"Oh yeah?" She moved her nose close to his.</p><p>"Yeah."</p><p>"Hmm. I'll see what I can do."</p><p>She slipped down under the covers and very soon she had him in her mouth. He clenched his thighs tightly as he gripped her head, pushing it down further. "Fuck, that's good," he cried. He could have let her go on forever, but he wanted to see her, wanted to be inside her. Putting his hands under her armpits, he gently raised her up. "Sit on me," he whispered, reaching for a condom from the table. So she did.</p><p>Brushing her breasts tantalisingly against his chest, she lowered herself down onto his cock, keeping her eyes fixed on his, until he was filling her whole body with his warmth, his love, his hardness. All his fantasies come true at once. Charlotte straddling him, Charlotte's hair falling messily over her face and tickling his, Charlotte's voluptuous breasts brushing against his lips. Holding her arse firmly in both hands, he closed his eyes and lost himself in the moment, sucking her nipples one after the other, as she ground and writhed on top of him. This time, when he came, it was slower and more exquisite, and this time, she came too, moaning into his ear and gripping his shoulders. Urgently kissing his chin, his neck, his collarbone, she finally collapsed onto his shoulder.</p><p>“Hold me tight,” she whispered. They lay like that for a long time. Finally, she rolled off and, without speaking, they nestled into each other’s bodies and drifted off to sleep, fully relaxed and secure in each other’s arms.</p><p> </p><p>****************************</p><p> </p><p>When they awoke, it was dark. He reached over for his watch from the bedside table. “It’s 8.30, Charlotte. You want to go out and get something to eat?”</p><p>“Oh, I can’t be bothered to move,” she said sleepily.</p><p>“Charlotte, you need to keep your strength up. You're not even in double figures yet.”</p><p>“That’s true,” she grinned, raising her head. “Come to think of it, I’m bloody starving.”</p><p>He kissed her on the nose. “I love you, Charlotte Heywood.”</p><p>“And I love you, Sidney Parker,” she replied, kissing him on the lips. “How many condoms do we have left?”</p><p>“One.”</p><p>“Well then, we’d better go out and get some more. Could be a long night.”</p><p> </p><p>Strolling hand in hand through the back streets of Brighton, they found a little tapas restaurant. "This looks nice," she said. "Have you had tapas in Spain?"</p><p>"No," he replied. "Not been on holiday for years really. Went on a stag weekend in Mallorca a couple of years ago, didn't sample much of the culture though."</p><p>"I spent a whole month in Granada, just after I left school. I did Spanish A level you see."</p><p>"Really? More skills I didn't know you had."</p><p>"Oh, I can't speak it so well now," she smiled, "but I know the food. Come on."</p><p>They ordered a selection of tapas - tortilla, patatas bravas, chorizo, calamares and gambas, olives - and a bottle of Rioja. This is nice, he thought, as they speared food from the plates and fed each other. This is bloody nice.</p><p>"We're not very good at planning, are we?" Charlotte laughed, between mouthfuls. "If I'd known we were going to a hotel, I would have brought a change of clothes, I could have dressed up tonight. It is my birthday after all."</p><p>"Don't worry," he smiled. "You look lovely as you are. And happy birthday." He raised his glass.</p><p>"Yes but," she whispered, "I haven't even got a change of underwear. Or a toothbrush."</p><p>"We can get toothbrushes at the hotel. And more condoms," he winked. "Say," he continued, "would you like to go over to Diana's tomorrow, for lunch maybe? They don't live far away."</p><p>"Okay, yes, that'd be lovely."</p><p>"Good," he said, as he finished his food. "I'll ring her now."</p><p>Charlotte got up to go to the loo. When she got back, he was still on the phone.</p><p>"Yes, that'd be great, I'm sure she'd love that. Cool. Give my love to Di then. Bye now."</p><p>He put the phone down and smiled at Charlotte. "Di's working tonight, but she's there tomorrow. That was Mary. They'll see us tomorrow for lunch."</p><p>"Okay. What were you saying? What would I love?"</p><p>"Never you mind." He tapped his nose.</p><p>They sat back, smiling at each other, sipping their wine. "You want anything else?"</p><p>"No, I'm full," she replied, patting her stomach. "Listen, Sidney, would you um... like to come to Dorset with me this week for a couple of days? Meet my folks?"</p><p>Sidney nearly choked on his Rioja. "Really?"</p><p>"Yes." She frowned. "Why are you so surprised? You're taking me to meet your family. Only if you have time of course..." She looked away.</p><p>He reached over and squeezed her hand. "No, I'd love to. Really. I'd like to see where you grew up. Just a bit terrified about meeting your parents I guess."</p><p>"Don't be silly," she laughed. "They're pretty ordinary. Anyway, it would be a nice break. Beautiful countryside round there."</p><p>"Okay, sure. Wednesday or Thursday maybe? I will have to do some work this week though, when I can tear myself away from you."</p><p>Their eyes met and she smiled lovingly. "I'll call them tomorrow."</p><p>They strolled back to the hotel along the seafront, arm in arm. The fog had lifted and the wind had dropped. It was a cold, clear night and the full moon was shining brightly in the sky, reflecting on the sea and the pebbles. The lights of the distant ferries could be seen on the horizon. Hardly anyone else was around, except for a few lone mackerel fishermen, sitting there patiently, waiting all night for a catch. Halfway along, they stopped, wrapped their arms around one another and kissed deeply in the moonlight.</p><p> </p><p>Back at the hotel, she went to the bathroom to clean her teeth. When she emerged, wearing only her black lacy knickers, he was lying naked in bed waiting for her, the sheets around his waist. My god, she thought, he really is bloody gorgeous. And kind. And funny. She climbed in beside him, yawning slightly.</p><p>"You tired?" They lay spooning, his arms wrapped tightly around her, stroking her breasts gently.</p><p>"A little."</p><p>"Charlotte, there's something I've been wanting to ask you. Difficult to find the right moment."</p><p>"What's that?" she asked faintly, her heart suddenly beating faster.</p><p>"Um... it's about the thing... with Edward."</p><p>"Oh." Her heart rate slowed down and she frowned to herself. Did they have to talk about this now? "What about it?"</p><p>"Well, I realise I was a bit... insensitive. And I wondered if you wanted to talk about it. If it bothered you. I mean, only if you want to."</p><p>She paused. "Sidney?"</p><p>"Yes?"</p><p>"It's a little difficult to have a serious conversation when you're fondling my breasts. Also your cock is sticking into my back."</p><p>"I'm sorry," he said, moving back a little and dropping his hands down to her stomach. "It's just we haven't really talked about it. Properly."</p><p>"It's okay. It did bother me a lot at first, but since we made up on Monday, I’ve been sleeping better. And, well, you're doing a pretty good job of distracting me." She turned and kissed him. He smiled with relief.</p><p>"Anyway," she continued, "it's not like I had much to do with him. Not like Clara. Or Ellie even."</p><p>"Mmm. Well, Ellie's been offered professional support, you know. She has a supportive family and she's very focused on her studies. Let’s hope he pleads guilty, then none of you will have to go to court."</p><p>Charlotte inhaled sharply. "God no, I hope not... As for Clara, Esther seems to have taken her under her wing."</p><p>"Esther's lovely, isn't she? Brad adores her. Even his mum approves." He laughed.</p><p>They lay in silence for a while. "Do you want to go to sleep?" he whispered in her ear.</p><p>"Yeah, I think so. Is that okay?"</p><p>"Of course." He turned off the light. "I love you Charlotte. Goodnight." He held her close, their hands entwined. Soon, they were both asleep.</p><p> </p><p>Charlotte slept deeply until about 4am when she felt something hard knocking lightly against her back. Sidney’s arms were around her and he was stroking her stomach and her breasts.</p><p>“Sorry,” he whispered, “I just woke up and there was this gorgeous woman in my bed. I thought I was dreaming...” he laughed. “Please... can I?”</p><p>She giggled. “Go on then. But I’m not moving.”</p><p>“That’s fine. Don’t go anywhere,” he growled, kissing her neck, as he slipped himself inside her from behind. Sleepy, lazy, deliciously dreamy, surprisingly raw sex. Despite being half asleep, Charlotte soon became very aroused and, to his surprise and delight, pretty noisy. She pulled her body away from him, shifting across the bed, so that no other part of them was touching and she could focus solely on the sensation of his cock driving inside her. The sight of her arse, her back and her hair flailing about in the dim moonlight turned him on more than ever. He reached round to stroke her clit and she flipped onto her back, raising one leg in the air to let him in even deeper. They kissed breathlessly. As they both reached their peak, he cried out her name as she arched herself against him, whimpering with pleasure.</p><p>They fell asleep almost instantly, spooning together, until the sun came streaming through the curtains a few short hours later.</p><p> </p><p>******************************</p><p> </p><p>Charlotte opened her eyes blearily. It took her a moment to remember where she was. Sidney was leaning on one elbow, gazing down at her. “Good morning, beautiful,” he said, kissing her.</p><p>“Oh,” she yawned, “I had a strange dream. I was being ravished by a wild animal.” She giggled as he climbed on top of her and began growling into her neck, tickling her as he did so.</p><p>“Stop it!”</p><p>He stopped tickling, but stayed on top of her, looking into her eyes. “I love you Charlotte,” he said tenderly. Then he began to kiss her, the full weight of his body pressing down on her thighs and stomach. They were both naked and he was soon aroused again.</p><p>“Sidney,” she whispered, “what time is it? We’re going to miss breakfast.”</p><p>He glanced over at the bedside clock. “Oh yeah, it’s 8.30. They stop serving at 9. Damn it.”</p><p>“I need the loo anyway. You’re crushing me,” she giggled.</p><p>Sighing, he sat up in bed.</p><p> </p><p>Once they were dressed, they went downstairs for breakfast. The hotel dining room was already full of guests, some of whom regarded the young couple curiously as they entered. They loaded up their plates at the buffet and sat down at a table, as the waitress brought them some coffee.</p><p>“Why are people staring at us, Sidney?” she asked, frowning.</p><p>He leaned across and whispered in her ear. “Probably because we look like we’ve been fucking all night. I expect you woke them all up at 4 o’clock this morning,” he chuckled.</p><p>“Sidney!” she exclaimed, mock-scandalised. “We only did it three times.”</p><p>“Well hurry up and eat your breakfast then,” he grinned. “We’ve got time for one more.”</p><p>“I think I could do with a shower to be honest.”</p><p>“Fine. We’ll do it in the shower.”</p><p>Her eyes widened. “Is this another of your fantasies?” she teased.</p><p>“Yep. Easy to read, aren’t I?”</p><p>They quickly finished their breakfast and he chased her up the stairs to the room, laughing. She headed for the bathroom but closed the door in his face.</p><p>“At least let me go to the loo in peace.”</p><p>A few minutes later, she opened the door. “Come on then.” She was stark naked and had turned the shower on. As he quickly stepped out of his clothes, she climbed into the shower, which was over the bath, and began soaping her body.</p><p>“Let me do that,” he growled in his deep voice. Her hair was dripping wet, tumbling over her shoulders and water was running down her face. He soaped her breasts, especially her breasts – “Very important to get these clean, Charlotte” – then moved to her hips and bum, kissing her all the while. Then it was her turn. She trailed her soapy hands all over his beautiful chest, down to his stomach and below, where her hands stayed for some considerable time.</p><p>“Turn round Charlotte,” he hissed, holding her by the hips. Placing her palms on the tiles, she bent over as he came up behind and slid himself inside her. She gasped. She could feel every inch of his bare cock; no barrier, no friction. Oh god, it was good, too good. Moving very slowly, he cupped her breasts with one hand, the other leaning on the wall.</p><p>“Sidney...” she began, turning her head. He could sense her slight uncertainty.</p><p>“Just a little longer. Please,” he gasped. It was so exquisite, he couldn’t bear to pull away.</p><p>After a short time, he gently withdrew. “Come on,” he said, helping her out of the bath and wrapping her up in a fluffy white towel. He scooped her up in his arms and carried her through to the bedroom, where he laid her down on the bed and made glorious love to her slowly, tenderly, lovingly.</p><p>Afterwards, they lay in each other’s arms, gazing into each other’s eyes, as he stroked her hair. “Sorry I got carried away...” He looked a little sheepish.</p><p>“It’s fine.” She kissed him. “Maybe I should... go on the pill or something. Can’t be bothered with these bloody condoms.”</p><p>“Up to you, Charlotte. I don't mind.” He smiled. “So you fancy doing this again then? Not just a one night stand?”</p><p>“Sidney!” For a moment she looked troubled.</p><p>He laughed, cuddling her close. “I’m only kidding. I could do this for eternity.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Kiss, Soft and Wet, Sexy M.F. – anything by Prince really!<br/>Truly, Madly, Deeply (1990) – not really a relevant film, but a good film with a great title.</p><p>Looking forward to being able to go to Spain again soon and enjoy some tapas!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0050"><h2>50. Christening the house</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Charlotte meets the Parkers for lunch, and the weekend date goes on and on...</p><p>After the ***** there is an explicit scene</p><p>I'm going away again for a couple of days, coincidentally to visit the inlaws. When I get back, we'll take a trip to Willingden (which is in Dorset in this story...)</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>Eventually, they dragged themselves away from the hotel and headed over to Diana’s for lunch. It had sounded like a good idea last night, but Charlotte was now a little embarrassed by her dishevelled appearance, still in yesterday’s clothes. At least she’d managed to clean her teeth at the hotel, but she’d hardly brought anything else with her, only her lipstick.</p><p>She needn’t have worried. Diana, Susan and Mary all thought she was charming, and she relaxed easily with them over a light lunch, chatting about Sanditon and listening to their funny stories about Sidney growing up. The children were delighted to see her again too. As they finished their meal, Jenny and Alicia kept fidgeting and looking at their mum eagerly. Finally, the last adult put down their fork.</p><p>"Now mum, please?" the girls squealed excitedly.</p><p>Mary laughed. "Yes, okay, go on then." They disappeared to the kitchen.</p><p>"I hope you've still got some room left," she said to Charlotte, smiling warmly.</p><p>"A little," Charlotte replied. She looked up at Sidney, who was grinning at Mary.</p><p>Just then, the girls came back into the dining room, bearing a large chocolate cake with candles on it, singing "Happy Birthday". Everyone else joined in. Jenny placed the cake proudly on the table in front of Charlotte. "Go on, blow out the candles," she urged. "Make a wish!"</p><p>Charlotte blew them all out in one go. "Oh thank you so much," she said, with some emotion, giving Jenny and Alicia a big hug. "Did you make this? That's so sweet of you." They nodded.</p><p>"Yes, just this morning," replied Mary. "They did it all themselves."</p><p>"I helped too!" shouted Henry.</p><p>"No you didn't," replied his eldest sister. "All you did was stick your fingers in the mixture."</p><p>"You knew about this, didn't you?" Charlotte said to Sidney. He put his arm around her. "Maybe. So, what did you wish?"</p><p>She blushed. "I'm not going to tell you." He kissed her on the nose.</p><p>Mary cut the cake and gave everyone a slice. It was delicious, if a little uneven in size and messily iced. Sidney sighed happily as he watched everyone licking their fingers, especially Henry, who had more chocolate on his face than anywhere else.</p><p> </p><p>After lunch, the children insisted Charlotte tell them another story. She took them out in the garden to play.</p><p>Sidney and Mary watched them from the window, cups of coffee in hand. Mary touched his arm. “I see what you mean, Sidney,” she smiled. “She’s wonderful. Don’t let her go.”</p><p>He exhaled happily. “I won’t.” There was a slight pause. “Um… Mary… you don’t need me to have the kids at all this week, do you? I know it’s half term but I’m… kinda busy.”</p><p>“Busy?” Mary gave him a sidelong glance, immediately guessing what he meant.</p><p>“Yeah.” He cleared his throat, looking straight ahead.</p><p>She patted his arm again. “It’s fine, Sidney. I’ve got a few days off work and well, I think it’s Tom’s turn for once, don’t you? You enjoy yourself Sidney.” They smiled at each other.</p><p>“She wants to take me to Dorset, to meet her parents.”</p><p>“How do you feel about that?”</p><p>“Terrified.” He laughed.</p><p>Mary laughed too. “They’ll love you, don’t worry. Is she the one then, Sidney?”</p><p>“Yeah, I think so,” he replied quietly, as he watched Charlotte chase the kids around the garden.</p><p>“She’s good with children,” Mary commented, smirking a little.</p><p>“Hey, give us a chance, Mary, we’ve only been together a few weeks,” Sidney laughed. “And I think I’d quite like her to myself for a while.”</p><p>“Good plan.”</p><p>“So, how are things with Tom?” He glanced over at her as he sipped his coffee.</p><p>Mary sighed. “Better. Definitely better. But… I don’t know Sidney… a lot of water’s gone under the bridge. I’m not sure if we could ever really get back on track… In fact,” she swallowed, “I was thinking of joining a dating agency. Do you think that’s ridiculous?”</p><p>“Of course not. Like you say, everyone deserves to be happy.” Sidney smiled at her.</p><p>“Yes, well, it’s been four years, you know…” She looked down.</p><p>Sidney didn’t reply straightaway, but suddenly he saw Mary in a new light. “Do you think you’ll divorce then?” he asked quietly.</p><p>Mary sighed. “I don’t know, I haven’t made any decisions yet. But I think I’m going to look for a place of my own. Diana and Susan need the space. You know they’re trying for a baby.”</p><p>He nodded, putting his hand on her shoulder. “Well, whatever you decide, we’ll support you. You know that.”</p><p>Placing her hand on top of his hand, she turned to him, tears in her eyes. “Thank you. I’m so glad Tom’s got that new job though. He’s finally getting back on his feet.”</p><p>“Well,” said Sidney. “Perhaps he’ll meet someone else too one day, you never know. But first, he needs to focus on being a dad.”</p><p>“Absolutely. You know I can’t thank you enough Sidney, for everything you’ve done.”</p><p>“Hey, what are families for?” He smiled at her. “Anyway, I love your kids. Except when they shit their pants.”</p><p>They both laughed.</p><p> </p><p>Soon it was time to go. At the door, all three women took it in turns to give Charlotte and Sidney a big hug each. Diana, a trim woman in her late thirties with a dark brown bob and hazel eyes, hugged her younger brother close and whispered in his ear.</p><p>“Glad you finally listened to me, Sid. She’s lovely. No more sulking, okay? Keep talking. Always.”</p><p>“I will. Thanks Di.” He gave her a kiss on the cheek.</p><p> </p><p>**********************************************</p><p> </p><p>They drove back to Sanditon, tired but happy. As the car rounded the seafront towards Charlotte’s flat, Sidney squeezed her knee. They stopped at the flat so she could pick up a change of clothes. Sidney waited in the car.</p><p>Esther was busy in the kitchen. “Charlotte! Longest date ever or what?!” she beamed.</p><p>“Yeah and um... I’m not stopping, just grabbing some stuff. Going back to his house now.”</p><p>“That good then, was it?” said Esther, raising an eyebrow.</p><p>“Better than good. Best ever.” She gave Esther a big hug and a kiss on the cheek. “I’ll tell you about it tomorrow!”</p><p> </p><p>Sidney looked her up and down as she climbed back into the passenger seat. She had changed into a knee-length denim skirt and boots. He noticed she wasn't wearing any tights.</p><p>"Nice skirt," he commented.</p><p>"Yeah, I had to get out of those jeans. And change my underwear," she giggled.</p><p>"Oh, did you?" was all he said.</p><p>As they pulled up at his house, he switched the engine off and reached over towards her, his hand travelling under her skirt and moving higher up her thigh, as he nuzzled her neck.</p><p>"Sidney. Your house is right there. Could we at least go inside?" she laughed.</p><p>"Sure. Come on." He seemed to be in a hurry.</p><p>Opening the front door, he let her step inside first. She took off her coat and dumped her bag on the floor. "So, you want to go upstairs right now?" she asked, smiling flirtatiously.</p><p>"Maybe. If we get that far," he growled.</p><p>Laughing, she began to ran up the stairs, but he caught her halfway up and pinned her down. She wriggled round to face him. "What <em>do</em> you think you're doing, Mr Parker?"</p><p>In reply, he whipped her T-shirt over her head, hoisted up her skirt and grabbed her tightly round the waist, kissing her neck as his hand travelled up towards her knickers. He was surprised to find that she was wearing a thong, and when he touched her, she was hot and wet. As he bit her neck, his fingers explored her, inside and out, and she came almost instantly, crying out with elation.</p><p>"I want you Charlotte," he whispered urgently in her ear, his breathing ragged, “Can I take you from behind?” He unzipped his jeans. Fortunately, for once, he had a condom in his pocket. She turned around, her hands and knees on the stairs. Pushing the string of her knickers to one side, he plunged inside her, shouting out loudly as he did so.</p><p>For a split second, she had a weird flashback to a dream and glanced nervously over her shoulder. She breathed a sigh of relief. It was Sidney, smiling at her, deliriously excited. She relaxed as he thrust deep inside her, deeper than ever before, or so it felt. She was so wet and he was so hard. As he thrust, he grabbed her breasts with one hand, lowering his head towards the back of her neck, biting and kissing her. The scratchy carpet was rasping against her knees and she was gripping onto the bannisters for dear life. She bent down further, arching her bum up towards him, shuddering with ecstasy as she did so. Grabbing both her cheeks, he exploded inside her with a loud cry of joy.</p><p>They remained in that position for a minute or so as their breathing calmed. Then he pulled her back towards him and held her close, kissing her softly. Turning her round to face him, he did up his jeans then scooped her up in his arms and carried her through to the living room where she sat on his lap on the sofa.</p><p>For a while they said nothing. He turned to look at her, a small, yet hesitant smile on his face.</p><p>"Your neighbour turned up his TV while that was going on," she giggled.</p><p>"Whoops, sorry." He kissed her nose. "You were pretty loud yourself. Listen um... that wasn't too rough, was it? I mean, you'd say if you didn't like it, wouldn't you?"</p><p>"I loved it," she smiled, stroking his cheek. "Because I trust you. And I love you."</p><p>"Good. I love you too, you know. More than anything." They kissed.</p><p>She felt her neck. “Do I have a love bite?”</p><p>“Err… yeah, sorry. Couldn’t resist you.”</p><p>“Could you perhaps make the next one somewhere my mum won’t see it, please?” she said in her best teacherish voice.</p><p>“Okay, noted,” he smiled. “Anything else?”</p><p>"Yes," she said. "You're a very bad host. Aren't you at least going to offer me a cup of tea?"</p><p>"Coming up," he grinned, lifting her off his lap and going through to the kitchen.</p><p>A short while later, they sat on the sofa, drinking their tea together in perfect silence. They stayed there for a long time as the dusk fell outside, their foreheads resting against each other, peaceful and contented.</p><p> </p><p>Over the next day or so, they managed to christen every room in the house - apart from the children's bedrooms, that is. His bedroom, naturally, several times, the bathroom, during one of their frequent showers, the living room sofa, and of course the kitchen. Although curiously, not the kitchen sink, as it was broad daylight and Mr Evans next door was mowing his lawn. Instead they sank onto the kitchen floor, Sidney on his back, Charlotte sitting on top of him. In between their exertions, they sat in bed drinking tea and eating toast, like students, enjoyed a delicious pasta meal that he cooked for her, then tried to watch a film but got bored halfway through, so christened the sofa a second time. On Tuesday morning, they made love slowly and tenderly, then he drove her back to her flat, exhausted, aching, but happy.</p><p>"Oh god Sidney, I can hardly walk," she giggled as she got out of the car.</p><p>"Sorry. Sign of a good weekend perhaps," he grinned. "Did it we make it to 27?"</p><p>"I have no idea," she laughed. I gave up counting." She bent down to kiss him. "See you tomorrow morning."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Poor Mr Evans!<br/>I forgot to mention the condom in that encounter, but I'm assured he had one in his pocket (for once).</p><p>PS Susan here (who hasn't yet spoken or done anything really) is not Lady Susan, but the original extra sister. Kind of.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0051"><h2>51. Meeting the parents</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Charlotte takes Sidney to Willingden to meet her folks... which brings some deep feelings to the surface... moderately explicit in parts.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p>On Wednesday, Sidney picked Charlotte up early for the drive down to Dorset. She came out to meet him at the car. He put her bags in the boot then turned round to hug her.</p>
<p>“Oh you smell nice,” he whispered, burying his face in her hair. “I missed you last night. At least I got some sleep though. Have you recovered?” he grinned.</p>
<p>“Mmm, yeah a bit.” She kissed him. “Wow, you even had a shave.”</p>
<p>“I thought I’d make the effort,” he said, blushing. “Come on, let’s go.”</p>
<p>The drive on the motorway around London was long and boring; Charlotte fidgeted and fiddled with the stereo.</p>
<p>"What's up with you?" Sidney laughed, "Why don't you read or something?"</p>
<p>"I can't read in the car."</p>
<p>"Chat to me then."</p>
<p>So she did. They chatted about anything and everything - school, work, books, music, films, football.  As the car inched its way around the M25, she admired his profile as he drove, the way his teeth flashed when he laughed, his firm hands on the wheel and the hairs on the backs of his hands and his forearms.</p>
<p>"This is like the old days, isn't it?" he mused, as the car came to a virtual standstill.</p>
<p>"What do you mean?"</p>
<p>"You remember, all those lifts I used to give you home from school?" He glanced across at her, his hand resting lightly on her knee and beginning to make its way up her leg. She was wearing sheer tights under her black velvety skirt and long boots. "God, it used to take ages sometimes didn't it?" he laughed mischievously. "All those traffic jams!"</p>
<p>"Hmm," she laughed in return, playing with the gently curling hair at the nape of his neck, "I did sometimes wonder if you deliberately went the long way round... You never once put your hand on my leg like this though, you were such a gentleman... Honestly, Sidney, why didn't you just ask me out?"</p>
<p>"I did eventually, remember?" Reluctantly, he removed his hand from her leg to put the car in gear, as the traffic had started moving again.</p>
<p>"Oh yes. Didn't exactly stick to that plan did we? Wait till Christmas..." she sighed.</p>
<p>"Maybe things would have been simpler if we had?"</p>
<p>"Maybe not. Nothing is ever simple with you, Sidney Parker. Come here." As the car edged forward slowly, she leaned across and they kissed.</p>
<p>"So err... do your parents know much about me? I mean, about our... history?"</p>
<p>"Not a lot, no. At Christmas, I told Ali what had happened - well most of it." She paused, looking out the window.</p>
<p>"What did you leave out?"</p>
<p>"The club. The fire escape." She continued staring out at the lanes of heavy traffic and the lorries trundling past.</p>
<p>Sidney swallowed. "I wish we could rewrite the past. Rewrite that night. I'd whisk you out of the restaurant and take you home. End of story."</p>
<p>"It doesn't matter now," Charlotte said quietly. "It's in the past."</p>
<p>"So err... what advice did Ali give you?"</p>
<p>"That I should forget about you and find someone younger," she laughed. "I tried, but... it was impossible." She ruffled his hair again. "Hard to forget about you when I see you every bloody day at work. And you can't choose who you fall in love with you, can you?"</p>
<p>"No, you certainly can't." He smiled at her, relieved.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Once they were off the motorway and on the A303 heading to the West country, Charlotte visibly relaxed.</p>
<p>“Hey, Stonehenge is coming up soon,” she cried excitedly. “Have you been there before?”</p>
<p>“Err… yeah, when I was a kid I think. Went right up to the stones.”</p>
<p>“You can’t do that anymore. And why they built this bloody great road next to it… still, you get a good view. Look, there they are.”</p>
<p>Sidney glanced out of the window towards the familiar, iconic outline of a surprisingly small clump of stones on the horizon. The traffic was slowing as everyone craned their necks to catch a glimpse. Large groups of tourists were wandering around aimlessly, glued to audio guides.</p>
<p>Charlotte sighed. “It always makes me think of Tess. So sad.”</p>
<p>“Who’s Tess? A friend of yours?”</p>
<p>She laughed. “Oh no, Tess of the d’Urbervilles.”</p>
<p>“Sorry Charlotte, you’ve lost me.” Sidney shrugged.</p>
<p>“It’s a novel by Thomas Hardy. You know.”</p>
<p>“Oh yeah, the miserable bugger. So what happened to her? I’m guessing she didn’t get a happy ending.”</p>
<p>“No, not at all. She was used by men because of her looks, she was raped and then her baby died, her husband deserted her on their wedding night after he found out she wasn’t a virgin, and then she murdered her lover. The police arrested her at Stonehenge, then she was hanged.” She sighed sadly. “Poor Tess.”</p>
<p>Sidney was a little amused. "Well, that definitely sounds like a shit life but she’s not a real person, you know, Charlotte.”</p>
<p>“I don’t know, sometimes the people in novels seem more real to me than people in real life. Don’t you find?”</p>
<p>“Maybe.” He patted her leg.</p>
<p>“I can see you in one of those old stories, you know, Sidney.”</p>
<p>“Really? How?”</p>
<p>“Yes, definitely." She gazed dreaminly at him.  "I can just see you in a long black coat, wearing a top hat, riding a horse.”</p>
<p>He laughed. “I’ve never ridden a horse in my life.”</p>
<p>“Never? Well, I’m sure it’s not much different from a bicycle,” she chuckled.</p>
<p>"So do you ride and hunt and all that?"</p>
<p>"I can ride a horse, yes, after a fashion. We are farming folk, after all." She exaggerated her Dorset r's. "But dad's not into hunting. He's all organic, sustainable meat these days, although he does sell some game."<strike></strike></p>
<p>“Speaking of old books, I had a strange dream about you once,” said Sidney shyly, after a pause.</p>
<p>“What kind of dream? I've had lots of dreams about you,” she laughed.</p>
<p>“I mean a real dream, not um… a daydream,” he winked. “It was after I’d been reading Jane Eyre. You were on a burning building and I saved you right at the last minute, just as the stairs were crumbling away. You were wearing one of those old fashioned nightdresses.”</p>
<p>“Really?” She turned towards him, her eyes wide. “Then what happened?”</p>
<p>“I carried you away to a grassy bank. Then I think I err… ravished you.” He flashed her a look.</p>
<p>“Sounds like a good dream,” she giggled. “When was this, Sidney?”</p>
<p>“Oh, a couple of days before you attacked me in the staffroom.”</p>
<p>“I did not attack you!”</p>
<p>“Err... you did.”</p>
<p>“Well, maybe I did. But you started it.” She punched his arm. “I had a dream about you that day as well, that you pulled me out of the sea and saved me from drowning. I expect you ravished me afterwards as well. I hope you did.” Placing her hand on his leg, she gently stroked his thigh.</p>
<p>As he drove, Sidney looked out the window at the beautiful rolling countryside, the green hills shimmering in the winter sun, the cows and sheep in the fields. “Maybe we could go camping, in the summer. Would you like that?” he asked, glancing at her.</p>
<p>“In the summer? You’re thinking ahead…”</p>
<p>“Aren't I allowed to? You are taking me to meet your parents after all.”</p>
<p>“Of course.” She put her hand on his cheek. “But you know, Sidney, tents are very, very thin… everyone can hear everything you do on a campsite. Absolutely everything.” As she stroked his jaw, she put her thumb inside his mouth and he bit it gently.</p>
<p>“Well we’d have to practise being very, very quiet then, wouldn’t we? And could you put your hand somewhere else please? You’re distracting me.”</p>
<p>“Sorry,” she laughed, putting her hand back on his thigh. “Sidney,” she said hesitantly, “Um… oh dear, this is a bit embarrassing… at my parents, I’m not sure if we’ll be able to sleep in the same room. My mum’s a bit funny like that. Do you mind?” She looked up, concerned.</p>
<p>“Of course not,” he replied, although he felt somewhat disappointed. “It’s only a few days.”</p>
<p>“I could always sneak along the corridor,” she grinned. “We’d have to be very quiet though.”</p>
<p>He shot her a look. “If you can manage that. So far your decibel levels have been through the roof. I’m surprised Mr Evans hasn’t been round to complain.”</p>
<p>She laughed. “You’re not much better. Tell him to take his hearing aid out.”</p>
<p>She continued stroking his thigh, her hand edging upwards all the time.</p>
<p>He swallowed hard. “Charlotte, please, do you want us to end up in a ditch?”</p>
<p>“We could find a quiet layby?” She leaned her head on his shoulder.</p>
<p>“You serious? There are no quiet roads in this green and pleasant land anymore, I’m afraid.”</p>
<p>“Okay. I’ll wait till tonight then. Give me a kiss though.” Craning his neck, he kissed her softly on the lips.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Before long, they arrived in Willingden and Charlotte directed him to a large, slightly ramshackle old cottage with latticed windows and ivy growing up the side. As Sidney pulled up on the gravel drive, he could see someone twitching the net curtain. Soon enough the large, solid wood front door opened and a woman’s head poked out. She waved at them. He exhaled nervously.</p>
<p>“Hey, don’t worry,” Charlotte reassured him, “they’re not going to bite your head off. Just be yourself.” She kissed him on the cheek. “Come on.”</p>
<p>John and Jane Heywood hugged their daughter, shook hands with Sidney and led them through to the large, old-fashioned looking kitchen with its flagstone floor, where they sat round a long oak table while Jane bustled around making tea. John Heywood was a taciturn man, but he had a kindly looking face, Sidney thought, his dark, wavy hair peppered with grey, a bushy beard,  and dark brown eyes that crinkled at the edges when he laughed.  He could definitely see more of Charlotte’s features in her father  than her mother. Her mother was more voluble, with fairer, greying hair and a permanently worried look on her face, it seemed.</p>
<p>They sat down to tea. “Dorset knob, Sidney?” Jane proffered him a plate of small round biscuits.</p>
<p>“Pardon?”</p>
<p>Charlotte giggled. “It’s a biscuit, Sidney. Local speciality. Like Brighton Rock.”</p>
<p>“Oh thanks.” He smiled and took one.</p>
<p>As they chatted, he could sense Jane sizing him up. His palms were feeling sweaty and he felt even more nervous than he had been at his final interview in Lewes the previous week.</p>
<p>“So you’re a Maths teacher then, Sidney?” Jane asked, sipping her tea.</p>
<p>“Well yes, but I’m… a member of the Senior Leadership Team so I don’t teach that many classes these days.”</p>
<p>“Sidney has just got a new job,” interjected Charlotte excitedly, “he doesn’t start till September, but it’s at another local school. Basically he’s one rung below the headteacher.” She smiled proudly, squeezing his hand.</p>
<p>“Congratulations,” smiled John. “So you won’t be at the same school anymore. That will make things easier for you both. You were obviously promoted early, Sidney. You don’t look old enough to be senior management.” He winked at him.</p>
<p>“Well… err.. I’ve been teaching for 13 years. I was promoted nearly three years ago.”</p>
<p>He could see Jane making mental calculations. She smiled at him a little more encouragingly than before.</p>
<p>"So you come from Sanditon then, Sidney?" asked John. "We haven't visited yet."</p>
<p>"Dad doesn't like to go outside Dorset," laughed Charlotte.</p>
<p>"Well," chuckled John, spreading his hands, "why would you want to?"</p>
<p>"Yes I grew up in Sanditon," nodded Sidney. "Although I lived in London for some years. I came back after... um...  about four years ago. At one time it was considered the finest seaside resort on the South coast, but I suppose you could say it's a little shabby now." He sipped his tea.</p>
<p>"It has a nice beach though," smiled Charlotte. "One of the first times we met was on the beach, wasn't it Sidney?" She grinned at him and he smiled back. Cheeky cow, he thought.</p>
<p>“Do your parents live there too?” asked Jane, in a friendly manner. “What do they do?”</p>
<p>Charlotte inhaled sharply. Shit, she hadn’t really told them much about him at all and now she regretted it. She squeezed his hand again. “Um… Sidney’s parents died, mum. Sorry, I didn’t mention it before.” She looked at him with concern.</p>
<p>“Oh I am sorry,” said Jane, “thoughtless of me.”</p>
<p>“It’s okay,” he said quietly. “It was ten years ago. They used to own a few businesses in Sanditon. Pub, café, guesthouse, that sort of thing. My elder brother took over after they passed away.”</p>
<p>“Oh, I’m in business too,” smiled John. “I run some local farm shops, organic meat and veg, that sort of thing. So we share a common background.”</p>
<p>As they continued chatting, Jane observed the imposing young man sitting next to her second youngest daughter, noticed the way that he looked at her, and decided she really couldn’t ask him to sleep in the spare room with the single bed, which at one time had been Charlotte’s bedroom. As they finished their tea, John went to help them with their bags.</p>
<p>“Let’s take Sidney up to the front guest room, Charlotte,” said Jane, smiling. “You can both go in there.”</p>
<p>Surprised, Charlotte glanced at her dad, who shrugged and raised his eyebrows. “I won’t tell Alison, if you won’t,” he whispered as they went up the stairs.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Dinner, some of the tastiest lamb chops Sidney had ever sampled, was a much more relaxed affair, especially with a few bottles of Dorset Ale to wash it down.</p>
<p>“You’re going back Saturday, aren’t you?” asked Jane. “Elinor and the kids are going to come over Friday afternoon, and Alison said she might come up from Bournemouth too. She’s looking forward to meeting you, Sidney.”</p>
<p>Goodness, thought Sidney, more Heywoods to meet.</p>
<p>“Of course, that’s only the female half of our family,” smiled John. “ I’m sure you’ll meet the three boys and their children one day too. This house used to be so noisy, you know, when we had all six of them at home. Now they’ve all flown the nest, and most of the time it’s only Jane and me. It feels very quiet sometimes.”</p>
<p>“Yes,” sighed Jane, “but at least Elinor is nearby. She’s the only one really. Alison’s at uni in Bournemouth, but she hardly ever comes home at weekends. Why all the others had to move so far away, I don’t know.”</p>
<p>John rolled his eyes at Charlotte.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Later, Sidney and Charlotte lay in bed together in the dark. They were both naked but it was rather cold in the front bedroom so they were curled up tightly, facing each other, their legs entwined. Charlotte was feeling rather frisky, but Sidney didn’t seem to be responding to her as he normally did. He seemed rather subdued; maybe he was tired after the long drive, she thought. She laid her head on his chest and stroked his back.</p>
<p>“You okay, Sidney? You seem a little quiet.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, I’m fine. But… you know… it's a bit weird with your parents just down the corridor.” He paused. “Your dad's very friendly, but I’m not sure your mum likes me, you know.”</p>
<p>“Oh don’t be daft.” She stroked his cheek. “She can seem a bit scary at first, but she’s alright really.” She laughed softly. “I think she warmed to you a bit more once you said you were senior management.”</p>
<p>He frowned. “Really? Surely that’s not all she cares about.”</p>
<p>“Oh, I don’t mean it like that. It’s just… she worries about us, that’s all.” She put her chin up on his chest so she could look at him. A thin beam of moonlight was filtering through the curtain and he could just glimpse the outline of her face and her large luminous eyes.</p>
<p>“The thing is, everyone thinks living in the country is some kind of rural idyll, but it’s not really. I mean, it can be lovely, but it’s hard work. Most people are just scraping to get by, and then when their children grow up, they can't even afford to buy a house. We had to sell the family farm you see, and well, mum and dad have this house now, but they don’t have a lot else. So they were anxious for us all to get a good education, as there aren’t many jobs around here.”</p>
<p>“Well, you certainly did,” he smiled, softly stroking her hair. “You’re very clever. All those bloody books you read.”</p>
<p>“Oh Sidney, they’re just books. Anyone can read books.”</p>
<p>“But you understand them. It took me months to read Jane Eyre. And I’m trying to read Lady Chatterley, but even that’s hard work. Perhaps I’ll enjoy it more once I get to the sex parts,” he grinned.</p>
<p>“You have a one track mind, Mr Parker.” She kissed him. “Mum just wants us all to be settled and financially secure I guess. Then she doesn’t have to worry so much. I’d say she sees you as a solid prospect.” She smiled.</p>
<p>“Oh am I? Should I be asking your father for your hand then?”</p>
<p>Charlotte caught her breath. She poked his chest, unable to meet his eyes. “We’re not in a Jane Austen novel, you know.”</p>
<p>“Oh, I thought we were," he laughed nervously. "I was only joking, darling.” He kissed the top of her head.</p>
<p>No I wasn’t, he thought. I’d marry you tomorrow. Perhaps he should wait a little longer before he started that kind of talk though. To distract her, he flipped her over onto her back and,  propping himself up on one elbow, began teasing her nipples with his tongue.</p>
<p>She was surprised. She had very nearly thought he was going to propose and had been slightly terrified at how much she wanted to say yes.  She stroked his hair as he licked and kissed her. </p>
<p>“Oh… Sidney…” His mouth had already moved down her stomach and his head was between her legs. Gently, his tongue roved back and forth on her clit until the sensation was so strong it was almost unbearable. Her thighs began to feel shaky and hot as she squeezed them around his head. Grasping one breast in each hand, he buried his head deeper, his tongue reaching up far inside. One hand moved down to her arse and he gently poked his finger inside. She gasped. At that moment, she felt as if she would do anything he wanted. But he was only teasing her. His tongue curled its way inside her again as he rubbed her clit with his thumb. Very soon she began to quiver, moaning rather loudly.</p>
<p>“Sssh,” he laughed. He sucked hard on her clit and, not long afterwards, she came into his mouth. It took her quite some time to calm down. He moved up to lie next to her, stroking her hair and kissing her face. Grasping his head with one hand, in her excitement she reached down for his cock. To her surprise, it wasn’t hard. She paused.</p>
<p>“Are you okay?” she asked softly.</p>
<p>But he shifted away from her, turning towards the wall. "Sidney, what's up?"</p>
<p>“I’ve… got things on my mind. Nothing to do with you.”</p>
<p>She frowned. Gently, she traced his shoulder blades with her finger. “Talk about it?” she ventured.</p>
<p>He sighed heavily. Then he remembered his sister's parting words, and turned to face her. He could just make out her features in the dark.</p>
<p>"I don't understand why you haven't told your parents about the court case and all that. Don't you think they ought to know?”</p>
<p>She was surprised. Why on earth was he bringing this up now? “Well, I... don’t want to worry them.”</p>
<p>“But they’re your parents. It’ll be in the papers, you know. Though of course they won’t mention your name.”</p>
<p>“Yes, but… look, I’m not all that close to my mum to be honest, there’s a lot of things I don’t tell her. She’s always doted on the boys and on Elinor, they're more similar. Alison and I often felt like a bit of an afterthought, so we grew close. I guess I’ll tell Ali, when I see her, and maybe I’ll tell mum and dad when it’s all over. Anyway,” she laughed, “if I tell dad now, he’ll probably drive straight to Edward’s house and personally strangle him.”</p>
<p>“Well, that’s what I’d like to do,” said Sidney, moving closer and holding her tight.</p>
<p>“Oh, let him suffer in prison. Maybe he’ll even think about what he’s done and change his ways.”</p>
<p>“You’re too good Charlotte,” he said, kissing her forehead.</p>
<p>“No I’m not. But everyone should have a chance at redemption, don't you think? I told Georgie all about it though, she said I should write a book.”</p>
<p>“Maybe you should. I bet you could. You’ll miss her when she goes to Canada. Maybe we should go up to London for a weekend soon.”</p>
<p>“That’d be nice. You know it’s funny, I do miss her, but I have my own life in Sanditon now. So much has changed for me in the last few months.”</p>
<p>“For the good I hope?” he enquired, raising his head.</p>
<p>“Definitely.” She leaned over and kissed him tenderly on the mouth. “Funny how one small decision can change the whole course of your life, isn’t it?”</p>
<p>“Yes,” he said softly. “Isn’t it?” They were lying side by side, her thighs coiled tightly around his leg, his arms wrapped around her back.</p>
<p>Sidney swallowed. “I used to tell my mum everything you know. Well, almost everything."</p>
<p>“Do you miss her?” Charlotte whispered.</p>
<p>He nodded but didn’t reply. Oh, she thought. So that’s what this is all about. I should have realised.</p>
<p>She peered up at him. “Sidney,” she said tenderly, “you never told me your parents’ names.”</p>
<p>“Henry and Jennifer,” he replied, his voice cracking.</p>
<p>“Of course.” She held him even closer, as close as she possibly could. She stroked his cheek. It was wet. “You’re crying.”</p>
<p>“Sorry. I haven't... I haven't talked about this for ages.”</p>
<p>“Sssh, you’re allowed to cry you know.”</p>
<p>He buried his head on her chest while she stroked his hair. A few minutes went by. Then he raised himself up on his elbows and leaned over her. “Charlotte,” he whispered, “can I make love to you? Please?”</p>
<p>“Of course.” She could feel his erection growing stronger by the minute, resting against her leg.</p>
<p>Dropping his head, he looked her right in the eyes. “Charlotte… can I… just do it? Without… I’ll pull out, I promise.”</p>
<p>She did a quick mental calculation. She really, really wanted this. “Okay,” she whispered back. “Make sure you do.”</p>
<p>“Sure.” His cock was edging closer towards her thighs.</p>
<p>“Just be quiet,” she smiled, finger on lips.</p>
<p>“You too." Then he entered her. All the way in. Lying flush against her chest, he kissed her passionately. She closed her eyes. My god, he felt so beautiful. Lying there in the darkness, their bodies enmeshed and entwined, nothing else mattered, no one else mattered, the whole of the outside world had disappeared, there were only the clouds scudding across the moon, the shadow of the latticed windows cast by the moonlight on the bedroom floor, and the distant screeches of owls outside the cottage. Just the two of them, fucking in the dark, his cock deep inside her, his tongue deep inside her mouth, barely able to see each other’s outlines, feeling their way around each other, two bodies blending together, becoming one. My god, she thought, I’m so lucky. Even to experience this once in a lifetime would be precious, would make life worth living. If they were lucky, and if they managed to keep their pledges to each other, they would be able to experience this many times over, for many years to come.</p>
<p>He whispered in her ear. “I love you so much, Charlotte.”</p>
<p>She watched in awe as he came on her stomach, crying out silently, his eyes shut tight. That she could cause this reaction in him both amazed and humbled her. Collapsing at her side, he kissed her cheek, then almost instantly fell asleep on her chest.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>A while back, Carmelz suggested to me a lovely song by Christina Perri called "The Words". Has a nice video too starring Colin O'Donoghue :) If I get the time, I might do a short story based on it, I have a few ideas, but I think it goes nicely with parts of this chapter...</p>
<p>"And I know<br/>The scariest part is letting go<br/>'Cause love is a ghost you can't control<br/>I promise you the truth can't hurt us now<br/>So let the words slip out of your mouth</p>
<p>And all of the steps that led me to you<br/>And all of the hell I had you walk through<br/>But I wouldn't trade a day for the chance to say<br/>My love, I'm in love with you"</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0052"><h2>52. Two go mad in Dorset</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The second part of the trip to Dorset - a little more lighthearted with the odd burst of passion thrown in.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>On Thursday morning, Charlotte woke up to find an empty space beside her in the bed. She stretched out lazily; he must be in the bathroom. A few minutes later, he came back into the room, wearing nothing except a towel round his waist, chuckling softly.</p><p>"What is it?" She propped herself up on her elbow.</p><p>"I err... met your mum in the corridor. I think she was rather startled. Sorry."</p><p>Charlotte burst out laughing. "Sidney Parker, you are incorrigible. Come here."</p><p>Kneeling up, she approached him as he stood by the side of the bed, hands on hips. Putting her arms around his waist, she kissed his chest. As his hands travelled down her back towards her bum, he leaned down and kissed her hungrily, lifting her up towards him. He pushed her back on the bed, untied his towel and flung it off, and was easing his body between her thighs when she stopped him.</p><p>"Please Sidney, once was enough."</p><p>He saw the confusion in her eyes. "I'm so sorry." He pulled away but continued gently kissing her face. "What do you want to do?"</p><p>By way of reply, she propelled him back into a standing position and began to kiss his navel.</p><p>Then she moved further down. "Oh god, Charlotte!" he cried out, as she took him in her mouth.</p><p>"Sssh!" she looked up, giggling.</p><p>He reached inside her with his fingers and their movements mirrored each other's in a slow, steady rhythm, gradually becoming more and more frantic. They were both very close to their release when suddenly, there was a knock on the door. Charlotte froze.</p><p>"Charlotte!" called her mum's voice breezily. "Breakfast in ten minutes."</p><p>Charlotte raised her head. "Ok mum, we're coming." And, shortly afterwards, they did.</p><p> </p><p>Lying in each other's arms, they giggled like naughty children. "Sidney, what have you done to me? I used to be such a good girl," she said innocently.</p><p>"Yeah right," he laughed, stroking her hair. "Listen sweetheart, I umm... I won't do that again, I promise. I wasn't thinking. You drive me wild, you know."</p><p>"Okay. Well, I've made an appointment at the clinic next week."</p><p>"Good. You know if anything happened, I'd... look after you." He kissed her forehead.</p><p>"Yes. But I'm not quite ready for all that yet. Although," she stroked his cheek, "last night was beautiful."</p><p>"It really was," he replied quietly. "Thank you."</p><p>She paused. "Don't you think it's great though, that we can... I dunno... be passionate, or loving, or just... fuck? I mean, I know real life will get in the way once we go back to work next week, but..." she blushed a little, "honestly Sidney, it's never been like this with anyone else." She turned to look at him.</p><p>Holding her hand tightly, he looked deep into her eyes. "My thoughts exactly." They kissed tenderly. "Now go and have a shower, and I'll go downstairs and attempt to charm your mother."</p><p>"Okay, but put some clothes on this time please." She stood up, grinning, as he smacked her arse with his towel.</p><p> </p><p>When she came down to breakfast, he was indeed charming her mother, or to be more precise, indulging her in a long moan about the state of the education system and the difficulties of keeping rural schools up and running.  Charlotte's mother had worked as a teaching assistant for a while and was on the Board of Governors of the local primary school, so had plenty of topics of conversation to bend Sidney's ear about. He listened sympathetically, making the occasional observation when she let him get a word in edgeways. Mr Heywood smiled wryly at Charlotte and poured her a coffee.</p><p>After breakfast, they went on a walk along the cliffs with her parents. Charlotte was relieved that they both now seemed to have accepted Sidney; he and her father talked about his business and Sidney promised to help look over some of his accounts. As they headed up Golden Cap - the highest cliff on the South coast - Sidney and Charlotte raced each other to the top, leaving her parents trailing in their wake. He got to the summit just before her, but she wasn't far behind.</p><p>"Hmm... I see you've improved your fitness, Miss Heywood," he laughed. He looked down the hill; her parents were still some distance away and he had a strong urge to kiss her. "Come here." She was a little breathless but, as they stood on top of the headland, she wrapped her arms around his neck and they exchanged a long, loving kiss.</p><p>Later that evening, after another delicious dinner and a long chat by the fireside, they retired to their rooms. That night, Sidney was much livelier in bed and Charlotte was forced to put her hand over his mouth, giggling as he growled quietly into her ear.</p><p> </p><p>*****************************************</p><p> </p><p>Alison arrived from Bournemouth on Friday morning and she and Charlotte hugged each other happily. Elinor and her three children came over from Dorchester in the afternoon, and they all headed off to Lyme Regis beach, spending a fun few hours skimming stones, searching for fossils and eating ice creams.</p><p>While Sidney and Elinor played with the children, Alison and Charlotte took a stroll along the famous harbour wall of the Cobb. Alison seemed a little quiet, Charlotte thought.</p><p>"So what do you think then, Ali?" asked Charlotte, regarding her sister curiously.</p><p>"Oh, he's lovely," Alison replied, without much enthusiasm. Charlotte said nothing.</p><p>"Sorry," continued Alison, "He's gorgeous, you know he is. I suppose it's good then? I see you're sharing a room," she added, a little grumpily.</p><p>"What, the sex?" asked Charlotte, laughing. "Well yes, he's very... attentive. But it's not just sex Ali, it's a lot more than that." She gazed dreamily over at the beach where Sidney, dressed in black jeans and jacket, was playing happily with Elinor's three children. Strange to think he was around the same age as Elinor; she'd always thought of her sister as being so much older than her.</p><p>"Hmm. Do you trust him though? After what happened at Christmas?"</p><p>Charlotte frowned. "Look, there was a lot of stuff going on at school, I can't really explain it all now, but we've worked it out and yes, I trust him. He's not perfect, but I believe he really cares about me."</p><p>"And what's he done to make you think that? All men are the same if you ask me," commented Alison gloomily, looking out to sea.</p><p>"He's done a lot of things, actually," replied Charlotte, a little hurt. "I think he finds it hard to trust people, or even to trust himself, but he's really beginning to open up to me."</p><p>Alison didn't reply; she clearly wasn't that interested in her sister's love life. Charlotte took a deep breath. "Has something happened, Ali?"</p><p>"Yes, I split up with Max." She started to cry.</p><p>"Oh, Ali." Charlotte put her arm around her sister and comforted her as they strolled back along the Cobb. By the time they reached the end of the wall, Alison was feeling slightly better.</p><p>Sidney was there to greet them. "Jump down and I'll catch you," he called, smiling. No, thought Charlotte, not running that risk. She hopped down the steps and gave him a hug.</p><p> </p><p>That night, everyone ate and drank merrily at the Heywood table. Sidney sampled several different Dorset ales while Charlotte, he noticed, was putting away rather a lot of cider;  her Dorset accent was becoming stronger by the minute. At the end of the meal, she looked across the table at Alison.</p><p>"Fancy popping down the Joiner's Arms with me and Sidney, Ali? Might be lively down there tonight." She had decided to make an effort to cheer up her sister, who had been pretty morose all evening.</p><p>Alison looked up. "Sorry, I'm not really in the mood to be sociable. Anyway," she said, "are you sure that's a wise idea? Adam's always down there on a Friday night. And all his mates. Might be awkward for you."</p><p>Charlotte reddened and looked down at the table. Adam was her old boyfriend from school. Why did Ali have to be so competitive? Why couldn't she just be happy for her? Sidney squeezed her hand.</p><p>"We can go on our own if you like, Charlotte. I don't mind." She looked up at him gratefully, but didn't reply, taking another swig of her cider instead.</p><p>Elinor stood up. "Well look, I've got to get these three home and in bed. It was really lovely to meet you Sidney," she smiled, shaking his hand. "Charlotte's very lucky. And so are you."</p><p>Charlotte was surprised. Her eldest sister wasn't normally one for showing much emotion. "Come here Lottie," she said, using the pet name she had called her as a child. She embraced her tightly, whispering in her ear. "He's lovely. And don't worry about Ali, she's just being immature. She'll come round."</p><p>"Thanks Ellie," smiled Charlotte, her eyes moistening.</p><p>Elinor departed with her brood, Alison disappeared up the stairs and John and Jane began to clear the table. Sidney tried to help them, but Jane waved him away. "No, no, you two go out and enjoy yourselves."</p><p>"Not sure I really want to go to the pub," said Charlotte, a little subdued. Suddenly, she hiccupped. Rising from the table, she almost crashed into Sidney.</p><p>"Not sure you need any more to drink either," he grinned, holding her arm to steady her. "We could... go for a walk perhaps. Get some fresh air."</p><p>"Yes," she smiled. "Good idea. Very good idea. Hang on, I'll just pop upstairs."</p><p>A few minutes later she reappeared and they put on their coats and stepped outside. It was a cold, slightly damp night, but the sky was clear, there was a full moon and the stars were shining brightly overhead. They gazed up at the heavens.</p><p>"You don't normally see this many stars near Brighton, do you?" Sidney marvelled. "Too much light pollution. Look, there's the Plough. And I think that might be Orion's Belt. That's about all I know though," he smiled.</p><p>He took her hand and they walked slowly down the lane. She was very quiet. "What's up, Charlotte? Is it what your sister said? It was a bit unfair, I thought."</p><p>She nodded. "Okay, I went out with a few boys at school. She's right, some of them might be in the pub tonight. But Adam was the only one... well, you know, I told you about him."</p><p>He put his arm around her and held her close. "Christ, Charlotte, you don't need to explain to me. I'm always bumping into old flames in Sanditon." Oh, he thought, perhaps I shouldn't have said that.</p><p>"Really?" She frowned, looking up at his face. "All the time?"</p><p>"I didn't mean it quite like that..." He was backtracking fast.</p><p>"It's okay," she laughed. "You have a past, I get that. God, there aren't any that are parents at the school, are there? That could be awkward." She laughed slightly.</p><p>He cleared his throat and mumbled, "Umm... one or two, yeah. Made parents' evening interesting once. What?" he exclaimed, as she gave him a glare. "I'm just being honest."</p><p>"Bloody hell, it's a good job you're changing schools." She had stopped in the lane and was now leaning back against a metal gate, as she was feeling slightly dizzy. "I expect you'll soon meet someone else at your new place," she moped.</p><p>"Now you're being ridiculous," he said, moving in towards her. "Are you pissed, Charlotte?"</p><p>"Mmm. Maybe a little," she giggled.</p><p>He leaned in to kiss her and she responded passionately, flinging her arms around his neck and pressing her body against his. He was somewhat taken aback; as he leaned against the cold, hard metal of the five bar gate, it reminded him of the fire escape at the club, that night before Christmas. No, not that. Maybe the staffroom sink. That was a better memory.</p><p>Charlotte was clearly a little drunk, but not too drunk to know what she was doing. Standing on tiptoes, she whispered in his ear. "I haven't got any knickers on." His eyes widened; she was wearing a long, flowing skirt and boots, but no tights.</p><p>"Charlotte, not here, surely..." he protested. "Anyway, I haven't got a...."</p><p>"I have," she smiled, pulling a packet out of her pocket. "Not much of a Boy Scout, are you Sidney? You’re never prepared. Come on."</p><p>Breaking away, she mounted the gate and swung her legs over the top. "Charlotte, where the hell are you going?"</p><p>"Into the field. We can't do it in the lane."</p><p>Oh my god, he thought. She was already in the field. He jumped up and swung his legs over the gate. "Shit, there aren't any cows in here, are there?"</p><p>"No of course not, they'll all be at the farm." She led him by the hand along the hedge at the side of the field, stopping about halfway along.</p><p>"You've done this before, haven't you?" he asked, grinning. It was getting cold and he really wasn't sure about this.</p><p>"Maybe," she giggled. "Look, it's okay, we don't have to do anything, let's just lie down for a bit and look at the stars."</p><p>He laid out his long coat on the ground, and they huddled side by side, peering up at the myriad of heavenly bodies that made up the universe. "How many do you think there are?" Charlotte asked dreamily, her head on his chest.</p><p>"A million and nine," he laughed.</p><p>"That's a good number." She kissed him. "Don't worry about Ali," she said. "She's upset because her boyfriend dumped her. She's probably a bit jealous." She sighed, remembering Christmas when she had been the one who was heartbroken. "We're close, but you know, she's four years younger than me. Sometimes she's a bit... I don't know. She'll say sorry in the morning."</p><p>Sidney hugged her tight. "Families, eh?"</p><p>"You haven't even met half of them yet," she laughed.</p><p>He leaned over her, looking down at her soft brown eyes and her beautiful hair, glinting in the moonlight. "You feeling better now, my love? It's a bit damp down here don’t you think, we probably shouldn't stay long."</p><p>"You'd better hurry up and ravish me then, Mr Parker."</p><p>“Alright then.”</p><p>So he did. Lifting up her long skirt, he unzipped his breeches, and she let him inside. The ground was wet and cold, and it probably wasn’t the most comfortable coupling in the world, but they both knew it was one they would never forget. Afterwards they lay in silence, softly panting and stroking each other's hair, not quite sure which world or which universe they belonged to.</p><p>Suddenly, a loud squawking noise erupted from the hedge and something came flapping past, very close to their heads. "What the fuck?" shouted Sidney.</p><p>Charlotte collapsed into giggles. "Your face! It's only a pheasant. Come on, let's go home."</p><p>Standing, he zipped himself up and reached out his hand to help her up. "Goodness me, Miss Heywood, what will your mother say? You look like you've been dragged through a hedge backwards."</p><p>She laughed. "Probably because I have."</p><p>They climbed back over the gate and stumbled down the lane, laughing and holding onto each other tightly. Fortunately, when they arrived back at the cottage, all the lights were off but John had left the door on the latch. Charlotte crashed inside somewhat noisily.</p><p>"Sssh!" said Sidney. He picked her up in his arms, carried her upstairs to the bedroom and laid her down on the bed, where she almost instantly fell asleep.</p><p>At about 2am, Charlotte woke up with a throbbing headache. She was still in her top and skirt, but her coat and boots were on the floor. She staggered through to the bathroom to get a drink of water and clean her teeth. Then she stripped off and lay down next to Sidney, who was sleeping peacefully on his side. As the moonlight coming through the casement windows softly caressed his face, she kissed him. "I love you," she whispered. Then she fell asleep.</p><p> </p><p>She awoke in bright daylight to find him sitting on the bed, looking down at her and grinning. "How's your head this morning, my love?"</p><p>"Not too bad." Then she tried to sit up. "Oh. Not that good." She sank back down again.</p><p>"Shall I go and find you some tablets?"</p><p>"Yes please, in the bathroom cabinet.”</p><p>He returned with the tablets, which she swallowed gratefully.</p><p>"Do you actually remember what happened last night?" he smiled, stroking her hair.</p><p>"Of course I do," she said indignantly. "I wasn't that pissed. We looked at the stars and then you ravished me on a grassy bank."</p><p>"That's right." He kissed her. "Have to say though, I'm not all that keen on al fresco sex. At least not in a field full of cowpats in England in February."</p><p>She laughed. "Can you think of somewhere better then?"</p><p>"Mmm. I know a secluded cove near Sanditon, as it happens. We could go skinny dipping. But maybe in the summer."</p><p>"Okay." She kissed him. "It’s a deal."</p><p> </p><p>When it was time to leave, John Heywood shook Sidney’s hand firmly.</p><p>“Lovely to meet you, Sidney. Look after Charlotte. She’s my favourite daughter, you know,” he added quietly.</p><p>“Dad, you’re not supposed to say that!” laughed Charlotte.</p><p>“Bye, Sidney,” smiled Jane, shaking his hand enthusiastically. Her mum looked rather flustered, Charlotte noticed.</p><p>Alison came tripping down the stairs, looking somewhat sheepish. She gave Charlotte a big hug. "Sorry Char. That was mean of me. Too much cider, I think. Forgive me."</p><p>"Of course." Charlotte smiled at her. "I'll give you a ring later, okay?"</p><p>Alison turned to Sidney. "Can I give you a hug too?"</p><p>"Sure." He opened his arms and embraced her, giving her a peck on the cheek. "Bye Alison. Take care."</p><p> </p><p>Driving away from Willingden along the country roads, Sidney turned to Charlotte and smiled.</p><p>“So, Miss Heywood? Did I pass the test? Will I do?”</p><p>“Oh yes, Mr Parker,” she replied, smiling. “You will most definitely do.”</p><p>"Coming back to my house tonight?" he enquired, placing a hand on her leg.</p><p>"Love to," she smiled. "You going to chase me up the stairs again?"</p><p>"Wait and see."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>The “million and nine” reference is from Gregory’s Girl (1981), which is such a funny film. </p><p>Somehow Alison took on the Georgiana role, I wasn't expecting that...</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0053"><h2>53. Return to the coves</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>This is the penultimate chapter... there will be one more (tomorrow) plus a very short epilogue...</p><p>Sidney and Charlotte go skinny dipping...</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>The new term began all too soon and life returned to normal. Although Sidney and Charlotte were always completely professional at school, all the teachers and probably most of the pupils knew what was going on between them. Miss Bates had seen to that. In time, the rest of the school also learned that Sidney would be leaving in the summer.</p><p>Edward was banned from teaching indefinitely, received a one-year prison sentence and was placed on the sex offenders’ register. Fortunately, neither Charlotte, Clara nor Ellie had to appear in court; the evidence was irrefutable and Edward pleaded guilty. The story hit the local papers however, and even made it to a few nationals. The three women were not named of course, but Edward’s wife was doorstepped by the press so she retreated to the safety of her parents’ country estate, taking her children with her. Hopefully, that’s where they stayed. The incident didn’t do much for Mrs Denham’s reputation however, and the Board of Governors began to drop some not-so-subtle hints about her impending retirement.</p><p>Clara steered clear of men for quite some time, preferring to focus on her music, joining a semi-professional orchestra in Brighton. She, Charlotte and Sally worked hard on the school production of Bugsy Malone, which was a great success; the best one yet, everyone said. Rosie had the starring role and won endless plaudits.</p><p>In the Easter break, Sidney and Charlotte took a week's holiday with Brad and Esther, sharing a cottage in the Lake District. It was Sidney’s first real holiday in years. Brad spent his time photographing exotic birds, including Esther, as they walked in the hills together. Sidney and Charlotte also went walking and one day he even persuaded her to hire a bike and come out for a ride with him. For several days of the holiday it poured with rain, however, so the four friends stayed inside the cottage, cooking, eating, reading, watching films and spending inordinately long amounts of time locked inside their respective bedrooms.</p><p>Soon it was time to return home and start the busy summer term. Sidney had a busy few weeks ahead, organising the exam timetables. Ellie Thompson did amazingly well in her A-levels and no one had any doubt that she was headed for Cambridge. Rosie wasn’t quite as successful academically, but had big plans to move to London and apply for Drama school, determined to make it onto the stage.</p><p>Bradley came down to Sanditon almost every weekend to see Esther. His mum was recovering well and he began to look for a house halfway between London and Sanditon, so that he could be nearer to both her and Esther. Esther finished her degree and applied to do a Masters, also at Brighton University. She qualified as a counsellor and was given a list of her first clients by her supervisor. As she ran her finger down the list, she stopped at a familiar name. Melissa Denham. Surely not? That would be interesting. Maybe she’d be able to help her, provided there was no conflict of interest. After all, she had never met Edward, even though she had a strange feeling that somehow, she knew him inside out…</p><p>Georgie took the job in Toronto and was due to head out there in the summer, but she and Otis had not yet reached any conclusions about their relationship. She had still not visited Sanditon, but met Sidney on a rare weekend in London, when he took Charlotte to see a show (City of Angels I think it was), eventually giving him her seal of approval.</p><p>Tom, meanwhile, started his new job at the leisure centre in Eastbourne, found himself a small flat close by and began saving to buy a car. He saw Mary and the children frequently, which meant that Sidney’s uncle duties were now few and far between. Tom and Mary continued their marriage counselling, but as yet there was no definite talk of them getting back together.</p><p> </p><p>Charlotte began to spend more and more time at Sidney's house, especially at weekends. Her toothbrush and hair products took up permanent residence in his bathroom and, as her clothes began to litter his bedroom, he allocated her a sizeable space in his wardrobe. Although the intensity and frequency of their sex life slowed down a little after that initial recordbreaking week, it also got better and better as they learned more about each other, especially once they could relax a little about contraception. Charlotte also came round to the idea that Sidney loved her at any time of the month, even when she was on her period.</p><p>In the week, if he had meetings after school, he would sometimes call at her flat afterwards, eat dinner with her and Esther, then make love to her on her narrow bed before reluctantly leaving for home. Or she would stay over at his house in the week, they would take it in turns to cook, and then drive to school together early the next morning. It wasn’t all frantic sex; sometimes they would lie in bed reading together, or more likely, she would lie there reading while he attempted to distract her. On the nights they spent apart, they would usually call or message each other until it was time to say goodnight. Sidney often thought of how much he would like to have her around all the time, living in his house, hogging his bathroom, sleeping next to him every night and waking up with him every morning, but he wasn't quite sure how to ask her, or when to choose the right moment.</p><p> </p><p>******************************</p><p> </p><p>One warm Saturday in June, Charlotte suggested to Sidney that they go for a swim in the sea. They headed for the eastern end of the Esplanade, far away from the crowds and any prying eyes, passing the rows of old people sitting mutely in their cars staring out to sea, flasks of tea in hand, towards a little secluded cove where Sidney used to swim as a child. Here, under the brow of the chalky white cliffs of Sanditon Head, the beach was deserted, apart from a family of cormorants sunning themselves on the rocks and a few lone seagulls swooping around, calling to each other.</p><p>However, once they found a spot on the shore and started stepping out of their clothes, the weather began to turn colder and grey clouds could be seen gathering overhead. A typical English summer's day.</p><p>“Are you sure about this, Charlotte?” asked Sidney, removing his jeans and T-shirt.</p><p>“Yes, of course! It'll be warm in the water.”</p><p>Sidney wasn’t so certain. The waves were somewhat choppy and there was quite a bit of seaweed floating on the surface. God knows what else was in there.</p><p>“I’m not going in naked though. Seriously. It’s probably full of jellyfish.” He nestled his hands protectively around his genitals.</p><p>"Sidney, you have to. We had a deal, remember."</p><p>She removed her skirt and T-shirt to reveal a turquoise bikini. Her nipples stood out proudly in the chilly June air and there were goosebumps on her arms.</p><p>“Nice,” grinned Sidney. She took the bikini top off, waving it in the air as her breasts bounced about. "Even nicer. And the rest."</p><p>"You first." Sighing, he stepped out of his trunks.</p><p>"Hmm. Very impressive," she grinned.</p><p>"I'm not so sure about that," he replied, shivering, looking up at the grey sky above them.</p><p>She slipped out of her bikini bottoms. "That's better," he said admiringly, unable to resist stroking her bum.</p><p>“Come on then, race you into the water!”</p><p>Holding his hand, she dragged him over the pebbles into the sea.</p><p>“Fuck! Charlotte, it’s freezing!” he exclaimed, dipping his toes in the water.</p><p>She giggled. “Just dive in, it’s easier.” So saying, she plunged into the bracing ocean, a wave crashing over her head and soaking her hair.</p><p>Sidney stood gingerly in the shallows. “Come on!” she called. Shaking his head, he waded in, immersing his whole body. His head emerged, gasping for air.</p><p>"It's fucking freezing! Charlotte, you are one nutty woman. Come here.” He grabbed hold of her waist and they trod water together for a while.</p><p>“See, romantic isn’t it?” she smiled, pushing her lips forward for a kiss. He obliged, holding her tight as their lips met.</p><p>“Very. But you have zero chance of any action here, my darling. I think my tackle is completely shrivelled up.”</p><p>She put a hand down to check. “Oh yes, so it is!”</p><p>He gazed at her lovingly. “Crazy woman.” Eliza would never have done this; she would not have wanted to mess up her hair or risk breaking a nail. Thank god she was well in the past.</p><p>He grabbed Charlotte around the waist and kissed her again. Then he made her giggle even more by tickling her under the water.</p><p>After a few more minutes of battling against the waves, the currents gently playing over their naked limbs, they decided to call it a day. The clouds were growing much darker and a few spots of rain had started to fall. They hurried back into their clothes, shivering, then clambered up onto the Esplanade.</p><p>“Let’s go back to the flat and have a hot shower,” said Charlotte, “warm your tackle up.”</p><p>“Definitely,” he grinned.</p><p> </p><p>They walked along in silence for a while, holding hands. It was beginning to drizzle and the wind was getting stronger. Neither of them were wearing coats.</p><p>Abruptly, he stopped and turned towards her, his expression suddenly serious. “What is it?” she asked, puzzled. He took both her hands in his.</p><p>“Charlotte, I’ve been thinking... I'd like to look for a new house, perhaps somewhere outside Sanditon, nearer Lewes, in the countryside maybe. What do you think?”</p><p>“Yeah,” she nodded, “sounds nice. We won’t be that far from each other, will we? Hopefully I'll be driving soon.” She frowned.</p><p>“Charlotte.” He put his arms around her, his face edging closer to hers, looking into her eyes. “Will you come with me? Live with me?”</p><p>She laughed, surprised. “Yes, yes, of course I will.” She kissed him happily.</p><p>But he was still staring at her, a tender yet serious expression on his face.</p><p>“In fact, oh god I haven’t prepared this at all, I’m so hopeless, why do I never plan anything properly... Charlotte,” he closed his eyes and exhaled, then, opening them again and looking deep into her beautiful brown eyes, he asked her the question he had been wanting to ask for months.</p><p>“Dearest, loveliest Charlotte, will you marry me?”</p><p>For a while, there was stunned silence. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything...” he mumbled.</p><p>“Oh sssh Sidney, of course I will!” Throwing her arms around him, she embraced him tightly.</p><p>“You’re sure?” he croaked, his voice hoarse.</p><p>“Yes, a hundred percent. A million percent.”</p><p>He laughed in disbelief. Then he kissed her, passionately. Many minutes passed as they stood on the seafront, kissing in the rain, oblivious to the water saturating their clothes, oblivious to anyone and anything around them.</p><p> </p><p>Just then, a large group of women, all wearing raincoats and battling with umbrellas, came staggering along the Esplanade, desperately fighting against the wind, holding onto their hoods, chattering and laughing loudly.</p><p>One of the women, not looking where she was going, barged into Sidney and Charlotte with her umbrella, causing them to break apart.</p><p>“Oh, excuse me!” she exclaimed, as she noticed their passionate embrace and their wet clothes, drenched by the rain. “Please don’t mind us, you carry on!” she laughed.</p><p>Sidney turned to the woman. “I asked her to marry me and she said yes!” he beamed. Charlotte giggled.</p><p>“I wish you every happiness,” said the woman, a delighted smile on her face. “I’m sure you’ll make a lovely couple.”</p><p>She hurried off to rejoin her friends.</p><p>“Who on earth were they?” asked Sidney.</p><p>“No idea,” replied Charlotte. “Look like a group of tourists. Goodness knows why they’re in Sanditon.”</p><p>"Come on," he said, "let's go back to the flat and get you out of those wet clothes."</p><p>"Yes please."</p><p>Linking arms, they ran back along the seafront, heading for Charlotte’s flat and a long, hot, soapy, very steamy shower.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Shout out to the Sanditon sisterhood :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0054"><h2>54. The barbecue</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>It only occurred to me last night that people might expect this chapter to be a wedding! Actually I haven’t written a wedding scene… but we can have a wedding in the epilogue. Instead, we’re having a summer barbecue party, something most of us have probably missed this summer...  <br/>It seems fitting that this story comes to a close in the week that schools are reopening (in England, at least) - fingers crossed all goes well...</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>Late July. School had finally broken up for the summer and Sidney was hosting a barbecue garden party at his house on Saturday afternoon, as a way of saying goodbye and thank you to all the teachers. Sidney and Charlotte had spent the morning getting everything ready and now the guests were arriving thick and fast.</p><p>Sidney’s family had also come over from Brighton: Diana, Susan, Arthur and his boyfriend Fred, Mary, Tom and the three children, who were playing happily in the garden. Esther, Brad and his mum, Doreen, were also invited.</p><p>For once, it was a beautiful, warm sunny day. As the garden filled up, Charlotte stood there quietly by the table piled high with food, watching everyone mingle and chat to each other. She still couldn’t believe how much had happened to her since coming to Sanditon and how her life had changed, so completely and yet so wonderfully.</p><p>There was Dan Ferrars, with his wife Carol, chatting and laughing with Jack Tilney and his partner. There was Sally Fairfax with her slightly harassed looking husband, juggling two toddlers between them. There was Clara, looking radiant, talking happily to Esther and Brad. There was Leon, his arm draped around a very pretty blonde woman, a drink in his hand, chatting with Frances Price and her muscly beefcake. Even Mrs Denham had deigned to make an appearance with her husband Roland, although she was still rather peeved at Sidney for ‘leaving her in the lurch’ as she put it, and she had still barely said two words to Charlotte.</p><p> </p><p>Just then, Sidney came into the garden with Mrs Griffiths and Mr Hankins.</p><p>“Charlotte, darling,” enthused Mrs Griffiths, giving her a big hug. “What a lovely party.” She looked around. Mr Hankins smiled broadly at her.</p><p>“Let me get you a drink,” said Charlotte. Returning with a gin and tonic for them each, she chatted to them for a while.</p><p>“So, are you going anywhere nice on holiday this summer, my dear?” enquired Mr Hankins.</p><p>“I’m not sure yet,” replied Charlotte. “I... we’d like to, but Sidney is looking for a new house, you see. Maybe we’ll get a few days away somewhere, camping possibly."</p><p>“We’re going to Greece!” said Liz Griffiths excitedly. “On a special Byron and Shelley tour.”</p><p>“Oh how wonderful!” replied Charlotte. “Have a lovely time.”</p><p>Mrs Griffiths leaned forward and whispered to her excitedly. “You don’t need to go to Greece, darling. You have your own Adonis right here.” She giggled like a schoolgirl.</p><p> </p><p>Liz and Robert went off to talk to some other teachers and Charlotte went back to standing behind the table, rearranging some of the food on the plates. Just then, she felt a presence behind her. He wrapped his arms lightly around her body, placing his hands on her hips, stroking them seductively. As it was a warm day, she was wearing a floaty, slightly low cut summer dress and wedged sandals, her Tiffany’s necklace around her neck and the earrings in her ears. He was dressed simply in white chino shorts, a light blue summer shirt and flip flops, sunglasses perched on his head. He’d even had a shave.</p><p>“You alright, my love?” he said softly in her ear, gently kissing her neck. Discreetly, he began to stroke her arse. “I really like this dress,” he growled.</p><p>“Sidney, not here,” she admonished him, although she was really rather enjoying what he was doing. Only that morning they had made passionate love upon waking, and yet here she was, trembling under his touch, anticipating the next time.</p><p>“You’re too gorgeous,” he sighed, removing his hand from her bum and placing it around her waist. Every day, Sidney thanked his lucky stars for the day that Charlotte Heywood had walked into his office and into his life. Not just for the sex, although that was even better than in his wildest dreams. For all the times they laid in bed together, talking far into the night. For the mornings when he awoke beside her, the smell of her hair on the pillow, her body nestling against his. For the meals they shared, the jokes they enjoyed, even the few small arguments they’d had, quickly patched up with a hug and a kiss, or more. He was deeply in love with her and he never wanted it to end. Even better, she seemed to feel the same way. One night, he’d asked her why she loved him, and she'd giggled and replied, "Your massive..." Then she'd stopped and stroked his face, and said, more seriously, “Because you’re you, Sidney, why else?” Why else indeed.</p><p> </p><p>He brought himself back to the present.</p><p>“Good party, I think?”</p><p>“Yes, nearly everyone’s here. Not Georgie though. I do hope she’ll come,” frowned Charlotte.</p><p>“She said she would, didn’t she? Don’t worry, traffic’s probably bad.” He kissed her cheek.</p><p>“Look at Clara,” smiled Charlotte. “Doesn’t she look like a different person?”</p><p>“She does,” replied Sidney. “All down to you.”</p><p>“Don’t be silly, it wasn’t all me. She and Esther are firm friends now. Oh, I meant to say, Clara’s orchestra is doing a concert next week and she’s playing a solo. Elgar Cello Concerto. I got us tickets, is that okay?”</p><p>Sidney groaned. “Charlotte. First you make me read 19<sup>th</sup> century literature, now you want to drag me to a classical music concert. There are limits you know.”</p><p>“Sidney, it’ll be fun, you’ll enjoy it. And we really ought to support her.”</p><p>“Okay, okay, I’ll come. But,” he pinched her waist, “next season you’re coming to see Arsenal with me. No arguments.”</p><p>Laughing, she turned to kiss him. Just then, two figures emerged into the garden.</p><p> </p><p>“Charlotte, the door was open, so we just came in...”</p><p>“Georgie!” squealed Charlotte, running over and giving her a big hug. “I’m so glad you made it. Otis! Great to see you. Come and meet Sidney.”</p><p>Sidney came towards them, smiling. “Hi Georgie, thanks for coming.” Then he looked up at the imposing young black man in front of him. He didn’t usually take much notice of men’s looks, but he had to admit this guy was beautiful. “Nice to meet you, Otis,” he said, shaking his hand.</p><p>Parts of the garden had gone silent, as people turned to gawp at the new arrivals. Charlotte felt a little on edge, but she needn’t have worried.</p><p>“Wow,” said Sally Fairfax, nearly dropping the child she was holding. “Stunning.” Her rather short, slightly balding husband looked across at her, alarmed.</p><p>“Alright Sidney,” said Otis in a strong South London accent, “nice ‘ouse you got ‘ere mate.”</p><p>Sidney smiled. “Thanks.”</p><p>Georgie, however, was jumping up and down excitedly. “Charlotte, look!” she squealed, extending her left hand on which rested a rather large diamond ring.</p><p>“Oh, you never! Are you... engaged?” asked Charlotte, looking up at Otis.</p><p>“Yes! He asked me the other day, isn’t it wonderful?”</p><p>Charlotte embraced them both. “Congratulations!” Sidney shook Otis’ hand.</p><p>“So what about Canada?” asked Charlotte.</p><p>“He’s coming with me,” chattered Georgie, not giving Otis a chance to speak. “He’s already signed up with some modelling agencies and he’s going to enrol in a university there, to study Politics and Philosophy.”</p><p>“Philosophy,” corrected Otis. “Maybe a bit of politics, but only because she wants me to,” he grinned.</p><p>“So when do you go?”</p><p>“In a few weeks’ time. You must come and visit once we’re settled.”</p><p>“We’d love to,” said Sidney.</p><p>Charlotte looked shyly at Georgie, twisting her fingers together.</p><p>“Georgie, listen, we haven’t told many people, but...” she looked up at Sidney, “we’re getting married too. We’re not sure when yet, and I don’t have a ring or anything, but we’re going to get a house together, and then we’ll see.” She blushed.</p><p>“Oh that’s great news, Charlotte.” Georgie hugged her again. Then she looked up at Sidney sternly.</p><p>“You’d better take care of Charlotte, you know. She’s very precious to me.”</p><p>“Don’t worry,” he smiled. “I intend to. She’s very precious to me too.”</p><p>“Charlotte,” he turned to her, raising an eyebrow, “who else have you told? I thought we said it was a secret for now?”</p><p>“Oh um... well just my mum… and Alison… and maybe Esther...” her voice trailed off, as she grinned cheekily at him.</p><p>“Well then, we might as well make it public!”</p><p>She put her hand on his arm. “Not here, Sidney, don’t announce it or anything, please. But do tell your family if you want to.”</p><p>“Okay.” He kissed the top of her head.</p><p>“Well,” beamed Georgie. “Who’d have thought it a year ago, eh? We got a bit lost coming here, and we drove along the seafront. Looks quite nice in the sunshine. Maybe Sanditon’s not such a bad place after all!”</p><p> </p><p>Later, Charlotte was taking drinks round to the guests, when Mrs Denham stopped short in front of her.</p><p>“Ah, Miss Heywood,” she exclaimed. “I see someone finally nabbed our Mr Parker, then?” She pointed a finger somewhat accusingly at Charlotte.</p><p>Charlotte was a little taken aback. “I didn’t... nab him, Mrs Denham.”</p><p>“Oh don’t mind me,” replied Violet, her mouth twitching. “I’m only teasing... I’m sure it won’t be long before you're walking down the aisle. I wish you every happiness.”</p><p>Taking a drink from the tray, she toddled off.</p><p> </p><p>*********************************************</p><p> </p><p>Later that evening, dusk was falling and a few stars were beginning to twinkle in the still summer sky. The guests had all gone home and Georgie and Otis had headed to a hotel in Brighton for the night. Charlotte was washing up the last few bits from the party in the kitchen sink, her hands encased in yellow rubber gloves. She was musing about the events of the day, watching a lone fox sniffing at the grass in the garden, so she didn’t notice Sidney coming up behind her.</p><p>She jumped as he placed his hands on her shoulders.</p><p>“Oh! You scared me.” She turned her head to face him and he kissed her nose.</p><p>“You nearly finished?” he asked softly. “I cleared away all the chairs and tables.”</p><p>“Yes, just a few more plates,” she sighed, sinking her hands into the soapy water.</p><p>“Good party, wasn’t it?”</p><p>“Yes, lovely. Even Mrs Denham acknowledged me.”</p><p>He laughed. Placing his hands on Charlotte’s hips, he moved closer and began nuzzling her neck. “Maybe those plates can wait...”</p><p>She stopped, her hands still in the sink. His hands were now roaming over her breasts, fumbling with the buttons at the top of her dress. One of them popped off and fell in the water. “Sorry,” he laughed. His other hand moved down to the hem of her dress and lifted it slowly. His fingers travelled all the way up her bare thighs and began to pull at the corner of her knickers, as he kissed her neck more and more urgently.</p><p>“Sidney...”</p><p>Holding her round the waist, he pulled her close. She could feel him pressing into her back as he buried his face in her hair, his breathing getting more rapid. As one hand roved teasingly over her breasts, the other dipped inside her knickers and he began to rub her slowly. Her hands clenched the edge of the sink tightly as she threw her head back and leaned into him, moaning softly.</p><p>“Come on,” he said breathlessly, “you always said you wanted it up against the kitchen sink.”</p><p>Smiling, she removed her rubber gloves and turned round to face him.</p><p>“So I did. Come on then.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Yes! We made it through to July 2020 and nobody died, school stayed open and nobody’s holiday or show or concert was cancelled! Sidney and Charlotte are going to get married and all is right with the world. Now we just need Amazon to pull their finger out and make us all happy. 😊</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0055"><h2>55. Epilogue - What might have happened next</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Thank you so much for everyone’s comments and encouragement on here and Facebook and Twitter – I never expected so many people to read this story, I thought it might be a bit too British, but I love the fact people all around the world have enjoyed it. I would possibly go back and change a few things now, but we got our HEA in the end. Thank you!</p><p>As I clearly can't let this story go, here's what may or may not have happened next. You are free to draw your own conclusions of course, but here are my thoughts.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>Sidney and Charlotte spend the next few months looking for a house, and eventually find a small cottage they can just about afford, a few miles out of Sanditon. They get the keys shortly after Christmas, and it doesn’t take them to long to christen every room in the house. The following summer they get married (teachers always get married in August). As neither are religious, they have a small, simple ceremony in the grounds of a local stately home, attended by everyone from their families, plus quite a few friends and colleagues. For once, it’s a beautiful English summer’s day and nobody gets rained on. Charlotte wears a simple yet beautiful ivory dress that accentuates her curves in all the right places, her hair is loose and flowing and her subtle make-up is perfectly applied by Esther. When Sidney sees her, he is completely bowled over and his heart nearly bursts with love and happiness. She thinks he looks pretty wonderful too in his Hugo Boss suit, although by this time he has almost completely abandoned the idea of shaving and is sporting just the right amount of sexy facial hair.</p><p>Alicia and Jenny are flower girls, along with a couple of Charlotte’s nieces, and Henry is a page boy (hopefully no accidents). Bradley is best man and Esther and Georgie are joint best women. Crowe, I expect, turns up and gets drunk. After the ceremony, everyone gathers in a big marquee in the grounds for food and drink and, later in the evening, after a few special dances, Sidney whisks Charlotte back to their cottage - before either of them has had too much wine - to enjoy a glorious night of newly wedded passion. I imagine they might go on a romantic honeymoon in Italy – perhaps to Florence, where they will stay in a room with a view.</p><p>They live happily ever after of course (more or less). He probably ends up as a headteacher, maybe back in Sanditon after Mrs Denham has finally retired (or maybe somewhere else, to avoid the risk of bumping into old girlfriends…). Charlotte, I think, will end up as Head of English somewhere. They live in the Sussex countryside, not far from the sea and, after a few years of blissful marriage, have at least two babies. I can see Sidney pushing a pram proudly along Sanditon seafront and, when their children are older, all of them cycling along together. He of course is a wonderful dad, and I'm sure she's a wonderful mum, although she probably gets a bit stressed now and again (who doesn't?).</p><p>Georgie and Otis get married, move to Canada, and live there happily for a number of years.</p><p>Esther and Bradley have one or two baby girls, who Bradley dotes on possibly even more than he dotes on his wife.</p><p>Clara eventually marries an earnest classical musician who she meets at her orchestra and they have a brood of musical geniuses.</p><p>I don't really know what happens to Edward, but I do hope his ex-wife benefits from her therapy.</p><p>As for Tom and Mary, they could get back together, but I would think it more likely in the modern day that, after so many years, they continue apart. I'd like to think they both meet new partners and find happiness again, while continuing to co-parent their three children. Their children still occasionally spend weekends with Uncle Sidney and Auntie Charlotte, who they adore.</p><p>Hopefully, Diana and Susan welcome their own child and Arthur, well who knows? I'm sure he's having fun.</p><p>As for the lost Sanditon manuscript, perhaps Cassandra Austen didn't burn it after all, and it is mysteriously discovered - a whole new, COMPLETE novel by Jane Austen! It gets adapted by the BBC and is a roaring success. I’m pretty sure there’s a scene where the hero rescues the heroine in her nightdress from a burning building and carries her away to a grassy bank, where he ravishes her. Rosie gets the starring role, I think, but I don't know who the male lead is - some sexy actor probably, with the looks and physique of a Greek god...</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Let me know if you have any ideas about what I might write next, if I get the time? I have quite a few ideas - from a short sliding doors version of this story (cutting out the angst) to a sequel for this couple, or a Season 2 continuation focusing on Antigua (maybe that's been done already??) or a short story based on the song The Words, or a modern day love story (which I've already written most of, but it's not exactly Sidlotte).</p><p>Thanks again, it's been fun!</p>
        </blockquote><div class="children module" id="children">
  <b class="heading">Works inspired by this one:</b>
  <ul>
    <li>
        <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26358751">Sea, Sex and Sanditon - the short version (picks up from Chapter 16)</a> by <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/Smiff/pseuds/Mermaid70">Mermaid70 (Smiff)</a>
    </li>
    <li>
        <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26836036">Sleepless in Sanditon</a> by <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/Smiff/pseuds/Mermaid70">Mermaid70 (Smiff)</a>
    </li>
  </ul>
</div></div></div>
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